Too late It’s over

42 or 48-Pack: Slim Jim Original, Tabasco or Combo Cheese Sticks

42 or 48 of the greatest smoked meat sticks to ever grace a gas station.
These are the “giant” ones, not those puny quarter-ouncers
Your choice of Original, Tabasco, or Combo Cheese
Can it make a margarita? It can stir a margarita…

see more product specs

Game recognizes game.

Believe it or not, we here at Meh know a thing or two about marketing.

We know about high-dollar big brand marketing like when a toothbrush company has such staggering margins that we can sell their stuff at like half off and still have it feel kind of pricey. We also know about rinky-dink dogshit what-were-they-even-thinking marketing where some otherwise respectable earbuds end up costing next to nothing after languishing on shelves at Best Buy because the product and company name both sound like K-Pop groups named by ChatGPT.

So we speak on strong authority when we say the following:

Slim Jim’s Macho Man Randy Savage campaign is the greatest singular accomplishment in the history of advertising.

You won’t find it on any nerdy lists of the top ten best commercials of all time. It was always overlooked back in the 1990s when there were actual TV shows that showcased funny commercials so that you could spend 30 minutes watching commercials that were interrupted unironically by other commercials, with commentary from Tom Bergeron or Alan Thicke, as if those were different people.

And, to our knowledge, this high water mark of pure consumerism has received no major ad industry recognition, has never been considered by the Nobel committee, and remains a full four awards shy of the illustrious EGOT accomplishment.

But seriously. Hiring Macho Man Randy Savage to endorse—nay—SCREAM your product directly into the camera? Brilliant.

This has all the elements of top-shelf marketing.

A celebrity you can get behind. It’s Randy Savage. Who is that? He’s a man. A MACHO FUCKING MAN. We don’t care if you’ve ever seen a professional wrestling match in your life, you’re going to listen to what this hairy gentleman has to say.

Now the message.

“Snap!”

What a great verb. It’s intense. It’s vibrant. You don’t bite or chomp or nibble. You SNAP.

Snap into what?

“A SLIM JIM, mother fucker!”

There’s no equivocation. No room for misinterpretation. No time to waste, really. You need to stop whatever you’re doing and snap your teeth into this specific brand of processed meat tubes right now.

(By the way, Macho Man was not Slim Jim’s first choice. They originally wanted to go with Sam Kinison, who was admittedly also very good at screaming things. “STARVING PEOPLE should MOVE to where the SLIM JIMS ARE!!!” Kinison made the execs nervous, though, and the rest is history.)

Anyway, in an era where Apple was obliquely imploring you to “Think Different” (whatever that means) and the Tootsie Roll Pop people were deciding to go with another two decades of that stupid owl wondering how many licks it takes to get to the center (186), the brilliant minds at Slim Jim were out there rolling wheelbarrows full of money to a pro wrestler so he could scream pure marketing gold directly into our unworthy faces.

So no. We’re not going to try and say it any better:

Original. Tabasco. Combo Cheese. This is literally the only part that’s up for debate.

42 or 48-Pack: Slim Jim Original, Tabasco or Combo Cheese Sticks

Game recognizes game.

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