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4-Pack: PGA Tour Airflux Mesh Caps
- Golf hats?
- On football day?!
- Now we’ve seen everything!
- Does it come with a shirt that celebrates the great sport of Pokemon: No, but you can get one (or two) of those over Mediocritee right now!
Wrong Sport?!
Now, you might be thinking, lol, classic Meh! They’re selling golf hats on the day of the ‘Big Game.’
And yes, this is a little cheeky. But also, can I be honest here? I’d rather watch golf than football.
Let me be clear: I am not going to argue the merits of watching golf. What I really want to talk about is the myth of marketing that has led people to believe American football is worth watching.
Now, I know what you’re thinking. This is some classic bullshit from some lame-o writer type who probably loves Wes Anderson movies and spends Saturday nights sipping craft beers and reading the kinds of books where nothing happens but the language is really beautiful. And yes, that is 100% me.
But also I love sports. I love basketball. I love baseball. I can get down with a hockey game. Hell, I’ll turn on a tennis match to have something on in the background while I get a little work done and then proceed to do absolutely nothing but watch all however many hours of it. But I can’t, for the life of me, enjoy football.
Because, here’s the thing: it’s boring. A Hail Mary? Dope! A punt returned for a touchdown? Rad! An interception followed by a wild chase? So awesome! The rest of it? Just 3 (or more) hours of dudes bumping into each other. Oh, wait, sorry: the television product takes 3 (or more) hours to complete. Within each game, there’s actually only about 11 minutes of action.
Hence why it’s a rite of passage to get dangerously drunk in the parking lot before going into an arena: so you don’t notice that you’re watching a Snyder-cut’s worth of nothing.
But you know what bugs me the most? The dishonesty.
Football is the movie with the trailer that’s 2 straight minutes of wild action, and then you go see it and realize those 2 exciting minutes were only exciting minutes in the entire 120-minute runtime. Hockey is low-scoring, but nobody hides it by making each goal worth 7 points. Plus the action rarely stops. Baseball is a real slow-going affair a lot of the time, but that’s part of the charm. Guys are chewing gum and blowing big bubbles while they’re playing the friggin’ game. Nobody pretends it’s some mega thrill ride the way fans and broadcasters do with football.
I could go on, but I won’t. Because you’ve got a game to watch and we’ve got hats to sell. Hats that celebrate golf. Which is, as I’ve covered here today, a better sport than football.