Smooth

Dinner with his wife and their friends. Something the copywriter looked forward to. Only, tonight, there was an issue.

As expected, the other husband asked: “What are they selling on the site today?”

The copywriter froze. “Well, yesterday, it was some cords. And the day before that, bags. And tomorrow, actually, they’re selling some–”

“But today,” the other husband said.

“Today?” the copywriter repeated slowly like he didn’t understand the word.

“Yeah, what are you selling today?” said the other husband.

“Oh, nothing too interesting,” the copywriter said. “Just a… uhh… product.”

“A product,” said the other husband.

“A product to offer… relief… from… potential discomfort,” the copywriter said.

“So like a pillow?” said the other husband. “Or a massager?”

“Not exactly,” said the copywriter, growing red in the face. “It’s more like… an expeditor. It speeds things up. Keeps things running… smoothly.”

“Maybe a mesh wireless network?” said the other husband. “Or a laxative?”

“A friction reducer,” said the copywriter.

“WD-40?” said the other husband.

“Something to keep things from catching,” said the copywriter.

“Cooking spray?” said the other husband. “Or a nonstick pan?”

“A slickness provider,” said the copywriter.

“Olive oil?” said the other husband.

“But not for the kitchen,” said the copywriter. “For another room altogether.”

“Wait, but it’s not a laxative?” the other husband said.

“Not the bathroom either,” said the copywriter.

“The bedroom?” said the other husband. “So… lube?”

The copywriter nodded, looking down at his empty plate.

“How much?” asked the other husband. “And for how much?”

“A 4-pack of 4.4oz bottles,” said the copywriter, “for 12 dollars.”

“That’s a good deal on lube,” said the other husband.

“It always is,” said the copywriter, exhaling strongly.