Able Cables

“…So I’d finally done it! I’d bowled a perfect game! It was amazing!”

“What’d you do to celebrate?”

“That’s just the thing: I got cocky! I thought, ‘Hey, why don’t I try to do it again?’ I swear to God, I couldn’t get a single strike the whole time. One of my worst games ever. Just goes to show, amirite?”

“Ha! Yeah! As they say, ‘USB-C doesn’t strike the same place twice.’”

“What? I… uh… don’t think that’s the phrase.”

“You’re right. More applicable to say: ‘Like catching USB-C in a bottle.’”

“No, Bill, that’s not what I was saying. I meant, well, in that phrase–in both of those phrases–the word is ‘lightning.’”

“Not anymore it’s not. Lightning is being phased out.”

“Yeah, like, the cables are. But not the word ‘lightning.’”

“Oh, sure. That’s what they say. But c’mon. First, it’ll be the cables, and then next thing you know, they won’t let you go swimming at the community pool because someone saw a bolt of USB-C.”

“You seem sorta angry, Bill. Are you okay?”

“I’m just peeved. I got all sorts of stupid cables now, some USB-C, some lightning. And sure, it might be easier later, when it’s all USB-C, but for now, it’s a nightmare. I’m just so tired of it!”

“Take it easy, buddy. It’s gonna be okay. There’s a simple solution to this problem: buy the cables they’re selling on Meh today. They have magnetic tips so you can swap out USB-C for lightning while we go through this transitional period.”

“Oh, wow. That’s great to hear. And you’re sure about the other thing? That the word ‘lightning’ won’t get phased out as well?”

“Pretty sure, yeah.”

“Good. Because I’ve been editing my copy of Grease to update the lyrics to ‘Greased Lightnin’ and it’s taking forever.”

“You’re a pretty thorough guy, Bill. I’ll give you that.”