It’s Not Your Fault

Listen up, everybody.

“It’s not your fault.”

Yeah, we’re talking to you, with the tasteful DIY kitchen that was designed with high hopes but has been falling just a little bit flat for the last three years running.

“It’s not your fault.”

Yes. You. Who recently had to have the HVAC guy come out on a weekend and spend four seconds banging the side of your thermostat housing with a wrench so that your family didn’t freeze to death.

“It’s not your fault.”

Right. YOU. Who used to consider yourself pretty handy until cars got too complicated and you moved into the house with the weird electrical system and it took you two flooded toilets to figure out the location of the clean-out trap full of wet wipes.

“It’s not your fault.”

You had to call AAA because the car battery wouldn’t take a charge even though you know damn well what you’re doing with a set of jumper cables, right?

“It’s not your fault.”

We’re running out of hypotheticals here. This is where you’re supposed to start sobbing into the bearded bosom of Meh’s therapeutic embrace.

[Editor’s Note: Are we really going to hang this whole thing on a reference to one scene in a 25-year-old movie?] [Copywriter’s Note: Yes. Also, nobody likes you. Love the new collaborative editing software, btw. xoxo]

Okay, so it’s not your fault that you haven’t done any of those theoretically attainable home projects that would make the place look great and your spouse happy. Every project like that is a pain in the ass that turns out to be way more annoying than you expect and you already spend a good portion of every day doing dumb nonsense that’s way more annoying than it has any right to be.

Ever get locked out of the website where you pay your garbage bill? Goodbye, Tuesday evening. No wonder the lighting in your kitchen still sucks.

Well, we’re here to get you over the finish line, first and foremost by getting you over the starting line. Today’s deal is a completely legitimate, not at all half-assed under-cabinet lighting solution that will absolutely count as a genuine home improvement accomplishment when you get to the other side of it.

These aren’t some battery-powered, stick-up nonsense that are going to make your in-laws and your most respectable neighbors snicker behind your back. This is high quality, fully legit, and totally within the realm of reasonable DIY.

There are wires involved. But you got this. There’s a manual. There are instructions. It’s going to be okay.

You’ll have proper wiring, motion sensors, a remote control—the whole deal. And it doesn’t necessarily have to be a kitchen thing. Think bathrooms, stairways, shelves, you name it.

C’mon, everybody. We’re going to offer something like this again someday and you KNOW you want to be flexing in the comments that you already installed yours.

Let’s do this.

After all—it’s not your fault. [Editor’s Note: Still hate it.]