Feel Better, Maybe

It’s New Year’s Eve! Let’s see what our last sale of the year will be…

Deep sigh

Well, this is going to go over great, I’m sure.

Look, here’s my pitch, folks.

Is this stuff a little suspect? Well, I’ll answer that question with a question: Does this 5-star Amazon review seem suspect?

MUST HAVE!!! This absolutely must have this product! overall gut health and immune building! The Mary ruth brand is exceptional! highly recommended!!! taste great! easily digested! wonderful results!!! I can’t get my daughter to eat many fruits and veggies and this is a great alternative for her to still get the nutrients she needs!

In other words, yes. Suspect.

As we’ve been over many times before, the people who make this stuff can claim that their product supports gut health and a better immune system, or that “with just two tasty lemon lime orange-flavored gummies, you’ll receive the naturally-occurring bioflavonoid quercetin,” because supplements such as these are not regulated by the FDA.

But can I say something? I actually do believe in stupid little products like this.

The other night, I slept terribly. So the next night, I made sure to eat healthy things that wouldn’t upset my stomach and put my phone away early. Then, I took some time to read a book and drank some of the sleepy-time cocoa we’ve sold recently. And I slept great! Now, was that sleep the product of whatever superfood/supplement formula they concocted in there, or did I take better care of myself? Maybe a little bit of both.

Then there’s the electrolyte packets we sell from time to time. Sometimes, after a run, I feel a little woozy, so I mix one up and usually feel a bit better. Is that actually the electrolytes and vitamins working? Or did I just kill my dehydration by housing 20 ounces of water in about two minutes? Again, probably a little bit of column a, a little bit of column b.

And so, would these gummies make my tummy feel better? Probably! Maybe because of what’s in them. But also maybe because if I took one each morning, it would remind me to be mindful about not eating a bunch of bullshit throughout the day.

(Hence why we’re selling these at the outset of resolution season, in case that wasn’t obvious.)

And as always, there’s this part: if you’ve wanted to try something like this, you might as well get it from us, where you can get a whole bunch for just 25 bucks, rather than, say, $75, like on Amazon.

Anyway, that’s my pitch.

Tell us what you think of these things in the comments.