Cleaning House: a Meh-rathon

POWER-ROY rushes ROY. ROY tries to engage, throwing a punch, but POWER-ROY easily ducks and issues a punch of his own in response, sending ROY flying back.

ROY gets to his feet, rolling out of the way just in time to avoid POWER-ROY’s stomp, which leaves an imprint in the cement floor.

LESTER
(calling out)
Roy! There’s one thing I didn’t get to tell you earlier! On the phone! There’s a design flaw!

HAL
What are you talking about?

LESTER
(calling out)
There’s a pin-prick-sized blue dot on the back of the neck! They needed a way to disarm them if they went rogue! If you can trigger that on any of these project Power Wash robo-goons, they go down!

HAL
That’s impossible. Harrison never mentioned this to me.

LESTER
Probably because he knew you’d veto it, and that would make them too powerful.

HAL holds his cigar in his mouth and takes a tablet out of his suit pocket, scrolling the designs for Project Power Wash.

HAL
(muffled)
I don’t believe this!

While wiping the work laptop of Calvert Harrison, a project manager who recently left his position at the company for a comparable role with a rival, our IT department discovered a Microsoft Word file titled ‘CLEANING_HOUSE_SCREENPLAY_FOR_JS’ as well as several Notepad documents containing phone numbers and email addresses for people with a tertiary connection to Jason Statham. The screenplay was, by all indications, written on company time and therefore, per Calvert’s contract, belongs to us. So, please enjoy these excerpts and stick around all day for great deals on spring cleaning gear and stuff for getting outside. (And Mr. Statham, if you’re reading, this is available!)