2-Pack: Pop Sonic Smoothie Facial Hair Removers

  • Discreet, on-the-go hair removal that you can take with you anywhere.
  • Great to have handy for a car mirror touch-up or pre-Zoom face check.
  • Allegedly painless.
  • You get two of them!
  • Can it make a margarita? It can help you avoid a margarita mustache. (Probably just use a straw, though…)
see more product specs

Ladies…

You know, what? It’s high time somebody took a product primarily intended for women and marketed it the way they market things to MEN. The ad copy that came with these things actually boasts a “painless smoothie” and we aren’t even sure what’s going on there, grammatically speaking. It sounds like the name of a blended fruit and vegetable drink for people too scared to add the kale and ginger.

Then they’re all “bye-bye, unwanted hair” like women are wagging their finger in the mirror at freshly defeated follicles instead of just blasting some chin hair while they think about whether it matters if they turn on their camera for that bullshit meeting at 9:00 a.m.

They make a big deal about this being “battery operated” after that, like modern ladies of means are sighing with relief that they don’t have to hand crank their lip shaver with something out of a very low stakes Saw movie. Or maybe there are competing products that require a 220 outlet like the clothes dryer.

So let’s skip all that and unceremoniously delete whatever product guidance they sent us for this. (Editor’s note: You mean…like always?)

The Pop Sonic Smoothie Facial Hair Remover is going to painlessly blast away every unwanted follicle on your otherwise presentable face using high-frequency oscillations that obliterate peach fuzz and devastate even the most stubborn of random hairs. It’s like a digital photo touch-up tool for real life, only you won’t be accused of catfishing that rando from your Instagram DMs because YOU’LL ACTUALLY LOOK THAT GOOD.

Not bad. What about the bit about the power supply?

Powered by the same AA battery you’d find in high-stakes applications like over-the-air TNT detonators and critical personal infrastructure technology like your TV remote, you’ll be zapping hairs like nobody’s business.

Okay maybe there’s a reason nobody markets these this w—

Thanks to the compact size, you can slip this bad boy effortlessly into your emergency toolbox, muscle car glove compartment, or tactical fanny pack. Anywhere you can stick a tube of lipstick can effectively conceal your high-powered hair-busting wonder device!

Probably mention that you get two.

DOUBLE FIST YOUR HAIR REMOVA—

Okay, never mind. We regret every word of this.

It’s a great hair removal thingie, though, so probably grab a pair for ten bucks, yeah?

So far today...

  • 76024 of you visited.
  • 45% on a phone, 1% on a tablet.
  • 3280 clicked meh
  • on this deal.

And you bought...

  • 441 of these.
  • Deal ended .
  • That’s $5599 total.
  • (including shipping)

Who's buying this crap?

Which items are you buying?