When You Need It

To: Terrance D. Hell
From: Georgio Decker
Subject: RE: The Alpine Vista Killer, complete manuscript

Terry!

I read your newest novel draft eagerly over the weekend, and I will say, for the first third, it seemed like another chilling Terrance D. Hell masterpiece.

A slasher? At a ski resort? With all roads out closed due to an avalanche? What a fantastic premise!

But I couldn’t help but feel let down by the final two-thirds. Specifically, there was a scene in chapter seven where Gregory, a gondola attendant, observes the killer take off his ski mask. He goes to text for help, but finds his phone dead. A perfect setup for another scene of grisly delight! Only, Gregory merely takes out an Einova 63W 20,000mAh Power Bank (very specific branding to include, I might add), charges his phone enough to get power, and texts the ski patrol. They then show up and apprehend the criminal, leaving another 200 pages of the book, which you fill by simply describing people skiing happily.

I was wondering if you might want to rethink this plot point to maximize the terror?

Let me know if you have any questions!

Best,
Georgio Decker
Senior Editor
Death Bells Publishing

To: Georgio Decker
From: Terrance D. Hell
Subject: RE: The Alpine Vista Killer, complete manuscript

It’s a matter of realism, Georgio. You can get a two-pack of those things for $30 these days. If someone’s phone just dies, a modern reader is going to be dubious.

TDH

To: Terrance D. Hell
From: Georgio Decker
Subject: RE: The Alpine Vista Killer, complete manuscript

An interesting point, Terry! And far be it from me to tell a genius like you how to write your book!

But, what if, hear me out: he drops the power bank and it breaks? Wouldn’t that add some more tension?

Just something to chew on.

Best,
Georgio Decker
Senior Editor
Death Bells Publishing

To: Georgio Decker
From: Terrance D. Hell
Subject: RE: The Alpine Vista Killer, complete manuscript

Great idea, Georgio. Updated manuscript attached.

TDH

To: Terrance D. Hell
From: Georgio Decker
Subject: RE: The Alpine Vista Killer, complete manuscript

Wow, that was quite the turnaround! But they don’t call you the master of terror for nothing! I look forward to reading this weekend!

Best,
Georgio Decker
Senior Editor
Death Bells Publishing

To: Terrance D. Hell
From: Georgio Decker
Subject: RE: The Alpine Vista Killer, complete manuscript

Okay, so, reading the manuscript, I couldn’t help but notice that, after Gregory dropped and broke his power bank, he simply pulled out a second Einova 63W 20,000mAh Power Bank (again, oddly specific brand to put in literature). A bit of a letdown, if you ask me.

Best,
Georgio Decker
Senior Editor
Death Bells Publishing

To: Georgio Decker
From: Terrance D. Hell
Subject: RE: The Alpine Vista Killer, complete manuscript

Didn’t I say you could get a two-pack for $30? Why would Gregory only have one?

TDH

To: Terrance D. Hell
From: Georgio Decker
Subject: RE: The Alpine Vista Killer, complete manuscript

Let’s table discussion of the power bank scene for the time being, shall we, Terry?

There was another scene where the power goes out, but apparently, everyone has at least four lanterns.

It seems to maybe undercut the scary factor a bit, doesn’t it?

Best,
Georgio Decker
Senior Editor
Death Bells Publishing

To: Georgio Decker
From: Terrance D. Hell
Subject: RE: The Alpine Vista Killer, complete manuscript

C’mon, Georgio. You can never have too many lanterns. Everyone knows that.

TDH