Let It All Out, Outlet

“So, I understand there’s been some tension between you recently,” said the therapist.

“That’s right,” said the outlet. “I thought we’d finally made some progress. Then last week happened…”

The therapist turned from the outlet to John. “And John, how would you describe what happened last week?”

“It’s really not a big deal,” John said.

“John,” the therapist said, “all I’m asking is for you to tell me what happened.”

John sighed. “Fine. I bought some Aduro 4-Port, 2-USB Surge Charging Stations.”

“And how did that make you feel, outlet?” the therapist said.

“Like I’m not enough,” said the outlet. “Like I’m a two-outlet failure.”

“And did you think about this, John?” the therapist asked. “Did you consider how your actions might affect others?”

“I was just tired of unplugging the toaster or the coffee machine when I wanted to use the blender,” John said.

“Wow,” said the outlet. “Tell me, John, how many kitchen appliances can you power?”

“Outlet,” said the therapist.

“Sorry,” said the outlet. “I just get so mad.”

“Is that all you thought about, John?” the therapist asked. “How many things you could plug in?”

“Well, there’s also the surge protection,” John said.

“Have you ever considered how a power surge might feel for me?” said the outlet.

“And the USB ports are nice too,” John went on.

“That’s ageism,” said the outlet.

“Do you regret your decision at all, John?” the therapist asked.

“To buy the Aduros?” John said. “No way. They’re great. It’s like, all the sudden, counting the USBs, I’ve got six ports where there were two. I see no downside to this at all.”

“Wait a minute,” the outlet said. “Are you saying that you saw more potential in me? That you didn’t think of me as two measly outlets? That you believed I was destined for greater things, and you bought the Aduro Charging Stations to help me realize just how much I was capable of?!”

“Wow, John,” said the therapist. “That’s really beautiful.”

“Thanks,” said John. “But seriously, I just wanted to plug more stuff in.”