Follow your dreams or give up your dreams: either way, you need this.

Two kinds of people own sweatpants: high-energy high achievers who want to keep their bodies in shape, and low-energy low achievers who want the laziest possible covering for the bottom half of their bodies.

These Wenzel 14-Liter Hydration Packs similarly appeal to both ends of the activity scale. With a 2-liter water bladder and room for a big bag of your high-protein carb-balanced organic trail mix, it’s the perfect daypack for hiking up and down wooded hillsides, cresting buttes, hacking through underbrush, frolicking in alpine meadows and what-have-you. Pursue your dreams of wholesome outdoor fitness!

Of course, you could just as easily fill that bladder with Dr. Pepper so you never have to get off the couch. The “trail mix” could just as easily be Funyuns, Flamin’ Hot Cheetos, and Buffalo Blue Cheese Combos. Give up your dreams and numb the pain with cheap chemically-flavored calories.

Whether you’re putting it all together or letting it all fall apart, whether you’re moving in the right direction or going nowhere fast, the Wenzel 14-Liter Hydration Packs will be the monkey on your back. Is he a helpful monkey carrying you to great heights or a harmful monkey weighing you down? That’s up to you.

And if you’ve really given up on expending the slightest effort to rise above pure sloth, well, you don’t always have to put liquid in the water bladder before you drink it. Hey, if you’re giving up, might as well give up all the way.