2-for-Tuesday: VIOlife 2600mAh Power Banks
- You get two power banks - AND two fans - but only two items total! How is that possible? Each power bank is also a fan! Your mind = blown!
- 2600mAh can give your phone about a full charge, or run the fan for eight hours
- Perfect for those long marches across the Sahara with the French Foreign Legion
- Model: VBF01H (actually a subtle suggestion that this is a Very Bitchin’ Fan #1 Hot)
The Six Ages of Humanity
The Boring Age: from the time the first upright humanoids descend from trees up until about 1890-something, nothing really happens.
The Plug-In Age: the first electric devices appear and people really start living. But it kinda sucks because you have to plug everything into a wall and who lives their life according to some stupid walls? Better but still pretty lame.
The Wireless Age: it starts to be that you can carry some things around. Then it gets to where you can carry almost everything around, like a computer or a nose hair trimmer. Suck it, walls!
The Charging Age: then some genius figured out that you could carry around a thing whose only purpose is to hold energy for your mobile devices. The discovery of the “power bank” was such a sensation that by 2014, cheap power banks accounted for approximately 28% of the mass of the Earth.
The Omni-Charging Age: now we’re on the cusp of a great step forward for humanity-kind. Because why can’t those mobile devices also be power banks? They’re full of energy, too, right? The charged has become the charger! This is where humanity stands at press time, in a terrific age of miracles like the VIOlife Fan and Power Bank.
The Final Age: either the oceans will rise and drown us all, or we’ll all scan our souls into hard drives and live forever in Internet cyberspace. Either way we’re not going to care about some power bank with a dumb fan attached.