2-for-Tuesday: Remington Skeleton Folding Knives
- At just a little over 5 inches long, it’s perfect for people who don’t want to lug around a regular-sized knife but still find themselves needing to cut stuff from time to time
- The frame lock keeps it from closing accidentally, which is one of the more ironic safety features we can think of
- Features a clip to keep it secure in your pocket, and a lanyard hole if you prefer it to swing wildly around your neck
- Model: R11504 (Short and simple, and the Google results are helpful if you ignore the Nevada labor regulation form)
Steele Undiscovered
Nigel von D’Amico: I believe you have something that belongs to me.
Bianca Lambwolfe: You! Interpol said you were dead!
Nigel von D’Amico: That’s precisely what I wanted them to think. Now, if you’ll hand over the Papaya Harbor file, perhaps you can avoid joining me in death.
Bianca Lambwolfe: Joining you? But you’re still alive.
Nigel von D’Amico: I mean joining the fake me in death.
Bianca Lambwolfe: So, fake death, or -
Nigel von D’Amico: Real death! And I’ve got just the knife to send you there!
Bianca Lambwolfe: Whoa, weird knife.
Nigel von D’Amico: You know me. I do everything in style. The skeleton-styled handle, the stainless steel stonewash finish, the drop-point blade: that’s how von D’Amico rolls.
Bianca Lambwolfe: That’s fascinating… please, tell me more…
Nigel von D’Amico: Get your hand off that doorknob or you’ll get a taste of this Remington steel!
Remington Steele: You rang?
Nigel von D’Amico: Who the hell are you?
Remington Steele: Remington Steele, international detective. My friends at Interpol are in for a nasty surprise when they discover you’re still among us, Mr. von D’Amico-
Bianca Lambwolfe: Hey! I know you! You’re James Bond!
Remington Steele: Er, not yet. I’m the principal of the Remington Steele Detective Agency. I’ve solved about one major case a week for four seasons now.
Laura Holt: Well, actually, I’m the one who does all the real detective work.
Nigel von D’Amico: Sure you do, little lady. As for you, Mr. Steele, I’ve never heard of you.
Remington Steele: Really? We were in the top 25 for a couple of years. Major influence on Moonlighting. Ahead of our time with the mixture of intrigue, action, glamour, and romantic comedy.
Bianca Lambwolfe: You mean Hart to Hart?
Remington Steele: No! Remington Steele!
Nigel von D’Amico: Still not ringing any bells.
Bianca Lambwolfe: Wait a minute. Is this fan fiction? Are we characters in fan fiction for a show we’ve never heard of?
Remington Steele: I’m sure you’ve heard of it. You just don’t remember. You couldn’t have lived through the '80s and not heard of Remington Steele.
Bianca Lambwolfe: Well, I’m telling you I haven’t. If you’re going to do fan fiction, it should be something people have heard of.
Remington Steele: It’s not my fault you don’t remember a major prime-time phenomenon.
Bianca Lambwolfe: So you’re calling me stupid? I’m a woman, so I must be stupid? Is that what you’re saying?
Laura Holt: I’m sure he doesn’t mean that. Right, Remington? Right?
Remington Steele: Come on! Remington Steele! It defined sophisticated television for the decade!
The writer: Seriously, nobody’s heard of this show?
Bianca Lambwolfe: I think you guys are thinking of Magnum P.I. But you look really different without the mustache.
Nigel von D’Amico: I can’t believe I gave up a spot in a 50 Shades of Grey/Hobbit mashup for this.
