120-Pack: belVita Soft Baked Banana Bread Breakfast Cookies
- They’re soft
- 200 calories: not enough to feel guilty, not so little you’ll need a snack 10 minutes later
- People on Amazon say they taste great
- Best by 10/22/23, but you know how this works; that’s not an expiration date
- Are they Mac compatible: No, Macs can only consume Soylent poured directly into their charging port
Perfect Breakfast
Are these belVita Soft Baked Banana Bread Breakfast Cookies the perfect breakfast?
We’ll admit: they are not the tastiest breakfast. Not that they aren’t tasty. They are actually quite tasty, tasty enough to earn thousands upon thousands of 4 and 5-star ratings on Amazon, in fact. It’s just that it’d be disingenuous to imply they’re as tasty as, say, a plate of perfectly cooked chocolate chip pancakes slathered in butter and maple syrup, or some homemade French toast, or a heaping helping of biscuits and gravy.
The problem with foods like those, though, and the reason they can’t be considered the perfect breakfast is the aftermath. They require the eater to essentially punt on their entire day: to get up, go to the diner, fill their body with fat and carbs, and then resign themselves to being couch-bound for the foreseeable future.
Anyway, back to the belVita. We should also mention: they’re not the healthiest breakfast either. Once again, we don’t mean to say they aren’t healthy. Each one packs about 200 calories. Not nothing, but not a lot either.
It’s just, nutritionally speaking, they’ll never compare to some superfood smoothie that looks like a moss milkshake and, unfortunately, tastes like one too, making it a perfect breakfast only for those who view each meal as some sort of metrics-driven health contest rather than a brief period of simple joy in the otherwise tempestuous experience known as life.
So what is the case for these being the perfect breakfast? Well, they are pretty tasty and fairly healthy (or at least not wildly unhealthy). Furthermore, their 200 calories will fill you up but won’t leave you feeling too bloated. One might carry you straight through to lunch, but also, you can have one and then have a mid-morning snack without much concern. Not to mention, they’re soft, which is great if you’ve got teeth too sensitive to deal with the various just-a-bunch-of-nuts-fused-togehter-and-called-a-granola-bar alternatives.
So, have we done it? Have we proven that these are the perfect breakfast?
No, but we have shown they’re a solid breakfast (or snack) option. So buy them, please.
