12-Pack: T.Taio Esponjabon 2-in-1 Soap Sponge
Our Take
- The soap is coming from inside the sponge!
- (We make this joke every time we sell these)
- Looking for the IRK? It’s right over here!
Cleaning House: a Meh-rathon
INT. WAREHOUSE - NIGHT
HAL, wearing a suit, and three HENCHMEN, stand waiting. To either side of the group, a seat. In one, SADIE is tied up. In the other sits LESTER, looking pretty beat up, his arms and legs also bound.
Behind them, a perfectly white temporary wall standing in stark contrast to the rest of the dingy warehouse.
Two other HENCHMEN stand watch at the door.
HAL checks his watch.
HAL
I wonder what’s taking him so long.
LESTER
I don’t know, but whatever it is, it should make you nervous.
HAL
Or maybe it should make you nervous, Lester. After all, what if he never arrives? What if he abandoned you two? Threw you to the wolves and is now making his escape?
SADIE
(nearly in tears)
He would never do that to me. To us!
While wiping the work laptop of Calvert Harrison, a project manager who recently left his position at the company for a comparable role with a rival, our IT department discovered a Microsoft Word file titled ‘CLEANING_HOUSE_SCREENPLAY_FOR_JS’ as well as several Notepad documents containing phone numbers and email addresses for people with a tertiary connection to Jason Statham. The screenplay was, by all indications, written on company time and therefore, per Calvert’s contract, belongs to us. So, please enjoy these excerpts and stick around all day for great deals on spring cleaning gear and stuff for getting outside. (And Mr. Statham, if you’re reading, this is available!)
Meh-rathon
What’s a Meh-rathon?
Normally, Meh is all about one deal per day—simple. But sometimes, we throw that out the window. A Meh-rathon is an all-day gauntlet of nonstop deals. One after another, untill we run out of stuff (or patience). It's chaotic. It's fun. It's a terrible way to shop responsibly. You've been warned.
