Relax With Some Goo

“Hey, Ted!”

“Carl!”

“It’s so great to see you. Even if it’s just on a video chat.”

“Seriously!”

“So, how have you been? You know, with everything going on?”

“Well, it’s been rough, as you can imagine. But I’ve managed to use my time at home somewhat productively. I learned to make sourdough, for example, like everyone.”

“Great!”

“Then I did a few home improvement projects. Repainted the porch. Put some new stain on the deck. Trimmed some trees in the backyard. Used the branches to build a shed. Used the shed to do some more carpentry projects. Opened a business. After a while, my custom-built chairs started to get really famous so I had to quit my job and focus full-time on that.”

“Whoa, that’s crazy!”

“Ha! I know! 2020, amirite? Anyway, I just signed a deal with HGTV. People send me spare wood scraps and I turn it into ornate patio furniture.”

“Wait, you have a TV show?”

“Not just a TV show. I also do a podcast where I talk about sustainable living and low-water-use plumbing. Did I mention that I redid all the plumbing in my house on my own? Using materials found in nature? And I’ve cut my water bill down to about $3 a month?”

“No, you didn’t mention that. But hold on, back to the podcast: it’s just you, talking about this stuff? And people subscribe to it?”

“Ha! Don’t sound so surprised! Though, to be fair, the podcast is at only about 600,000 subscribers so far, but we’re working on growing our audience. Oh, and no. It’s not just me. I’m joined every week by a Property Brother. They’re great guys. All of them.”

“What do you mean, ‘all of them’? There’s two, right?”

“Oh, that’s what they make it look like for the show. In real life, there’s about twelve.”

“Twelve? How is that possibly?”

“Honestly, I couldn’t tell ya. I mean, I know. It’s just that, because of the NDA I signed, I probably should be careful with how much I disclose. Suffice it to say it involved a lab, a single hair from Bob Vila’s beard, and a Pottery Barn catalogue.”

“Jeez!”

“Anyway, sorry! Blabbing on and on over here! What have you been up to, Carl?”

“Uh… I… uh… bought some assorted fun putty tins. You know, some are glow-in-the-dark, some are clear, some are marbleized. And… yeah… I’ve… uhh… just been playing with that for a few months.”

“Sounds very relaxing.”

“It is, actually. I got it to give to my nephew but then I just started playing with it myself. Really good stuff. Totally clears your mind.”

“I’ll have to get some of that.”

“You should! With all that you’ve got going on these days, it might help to have something simple to mess around with.”

“Oh, not for me. I meant for my new friends. A really cute couple. Chip and Joanna. When everything gets back to normal, I’ll have to have you all over for some coq au vin and a soufflé. Did I mention I took up French cooking?”

“No, Ted. You didn’t mention that.”