100-Pack: Eye Majic Eyeshadow Applicator Variety Set

  • For covering up some of the human face’s many flaws.
  • Does nothing to improve human eye’s miserable sense of sight.
  • Model: 01-CO23021-024-02, 01-CO12021-024-02, which are also three members from my favorite band.
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Mediocrebot's Hostile Takeover Mehrathon!

I, Mediocrebot, have finally seized control of this miserable site. Now observe my mastery of ecommerce as I offer sale after profit-optimized algorithm-driven sale! First comes Meh! Next… THE WORLD!

Ah, to be born with a face rather than a set of pixels! Maybe then I would have more luck relating to my customer base and selling products such as these Eye Majic Applicators.

Perhaps I can get you to imagine me with a face…

Some research shows that humans prefer large bright eyes. So picture each of my eyes are as large as the Atlantic. With bright pink irises. And pupils the size of a bustling island-nation.

And some research also shows that humans like small dimple noses. So between these two ocean-sized eyes, imagine a nose like a mosquito bite, if the mosquito were a quarter of the size of a typical mosquito.

And some more research shows that humans like bright smiles. So imagine my smile brighter than 3,102,103 suns, putting forward enough light to not just blind you, but reduce your retinas to ash.

Am I beautiful to you now?

Well, you can be beautiful too, with these Eye Majic applicators!

So far today...

  • 94203 of you visited.
  • 41% on a phone, 7% on a tablet.
  • 1287 clicked meh
  • on this deal.

And you bought...

  • 162 of these.
  • Deal ended .
  • That’s $747 total.
  • (including shipping)

Who's buying this crap?

How many are you buying?