Shine On

Yes, that’s correct: in the two days following Valentine’s Day we have sold fruit covered in chocolate and diamond earrings. Now, like we said yesterday, those chocolate-covered fruit snacks aren’t the romantic kind. These earrings, however? They are definitely romantic. Like, romantic enough to mend things if you absolutely botched V-Day this year. Because, after all, diamonds are a girl’s best friend!

As in, they’re the girl’s best friend who invites her out to the place that has four dollar signs on Yelp despite her saying many times that she’s living month-to-month. And they’re the girl’s best friend who suddenly gets a “migraine” whenever anyone questions their morals and/or politics.

In other words, diamonds are a girl’s best friend who’s kind of a toxic presence that said girl should probably move on from.

But these earrings aren’t made with diamonds. Or, they’re not made with real diamonds. Or, they are made with real diamonds. They just don’t come from the exact place real diamonds come from. They’re lab-created diamonds. What does that mean, exactly? According to Brilliant Earth:

Man made diamonds, also known as engineered or cultured diamonds, are grown in highly controlled laboratory environments using advanced technological processes that duplicate the conditions under which diamonds naturally develop when they form in the mantle, beneath the Earth’s crust. These man made diamonds consist of actual carbon atoms arranged in the characteristic diamond crystal structure. Since they are made of the same material as natural diamonds, they exhibit the same optical and chemical properties.

In short, they are diamonds…uhh… that were… uhh… created in a lab.

That means you get diamonds that were made rather than harvested, so you don’t need to worry about a whole slew of ethical questions about their sourcing. They’re just pretty and nice and that’s it.

If you don’t believe us, look at the pictures. And if you don’t believe them, look at Amazon, where these earn a rating of 4.3 out of 5, and where you’ll find great reviews, like this one from Timothy Hudson:

Very nice. I bought the one-carat set for my girlfriend. No one will ever know that they are not earth diamonds because I can keep a secret. She knows and she loves them.

Good work, Timothy! You’ve only told the truth to your girlfriend and more than 200 million Amazon users! You’re certainly keeping that secret real well!

But, of course, we’d be silly not to highlight this one from Mr.Monroe:

These earrings are absolutely stunning!! Perfect size & very much sparkly. The price is a steal for the clarity & carat size! & yes they are real diamonds! I tested them with my diamond tester the moment they arrived!

Now, we have zero idea how diamonds work, so that last part means nothing to us. But what we do want to focus on is the fact that Mr.Monroe is so impressed with the price when it is TWO HUNDRED dollars more than what we’re selling them for.

In conclusion, they basically pay for themselves! So get some for that special someone who was maybe a little disappointed in what you had to offer on Monday.