Today's SideDeal
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Mr. Christmas Alexa Compatible Smart Shatterproof RGB Bistro Lights (12 Bulbs)
- They’re Christmas lights now
- And then they’re just cool lights the rest of the year
- You can control them manually or with Alexa
- They can do all sorts of colors
- Can they make a margarita: No, but they can add some ambiance if you have a patio margarita party next summer
So Many Colors
“Hey boss,” Johnson said, sauntering into the CEO’s office with his shirt untucked, his eyes bloodshot, and a gnarly 5-o’clock shadow hanging from his chin. “This better be good. I invited a couple vagrants up to the copy room for a cigarette smoking contest.”
“Look, Johnson,” said the CEO. “I keep a ne’er-do-well like you on the payroll not because of your day-to-day output but because when things get tough, you always offer solutions. But this one’s a doozy. It’s about our numbers.”
“I seen the reports,” Johnson poured himself a tall drink from the CEO’s bar cart. “Looked okay to me.”
“Yes, of course, they do this time of year,” said the CEO. “But come the new year, things are going to drop off significantly. They always do. It seems we make great products for the holiday season but we possess no staying power. So I need you to think of something new, Johnson, something we can sell the rest of the year.”
Johnson finished his drink in a gulp and made himself another. “I ain’t thinking of no new products, boss. The concepting, the design, the testing. We’ll be belly up by the time all that stuff’s done with.”
“Are you saying it’s hopeless, Johnson?” Tears came into the CEO’s eyes. “You, Johnson? Really? After saving this company so many times, you’re giving up?”
“Now you’re putting words in my mouth,” Johnson said. “I ain’t thinking of no new product because I’m busy thinking of old ones. Hear me out, okay? Those lights we sell? They’re pretty, they can do a whole bunch of colors, you can control them manually or via Alexa. Great product. What makes you think they wouldn’t sell in March?”
“Because nobody buys them in March,” the CEO said.
“Yeah, well, there’s a simple reason for that,” Johnson said. “No one thinks they’re allowed to buy them in March. What you’ve got is a naming issue. Everyone knows now is the time for colorful lights, so nobody’s even looking at what the packaging says. That means you don’t need to market them towards the holiday season. You need to market them towards all the other seasons. Or, you need to market them towards no season. You need to give them a name that makes them feel trendy, but not too trendy, fancy, but not too fancy. Like a nice steak sandwich.”
“Steak sandwich lights!” the CEO said, standing up from his desk in excitement. “It’s perfect!”
“Bistro lights,” Johnson said, making a third drink.
“Oh, that’s even better!” the CEO said. “Yes, you’re right! There’s nothing seasonal about that! I can see the packaging now! Just the company that carries my family name and ‘Bistro Lights’! Johnson, you’ve done it again!”
“No sweat,” Johnson said. “Is that all you need from me, Mr. Christmas?”
“Yes, Johnson,” said the CEO, “And please, Mr. Christmas is my father’s name. Call me by my first name, Meriwether. Or Meri for short.”
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