Today's SideDeal

Scrub-It Pet Hair Remover

  • Effortless de-furring for fabric, furniture, car seats, etc. No shaving cream required.
  • Built-in waste bin
  • Endlessly reusable
  • Can it make a margarita? It can make a margarita hairball-free.
see more product specs

Oh, The Desp-hair!

“Sister Mary Joseph, so glad you could make it to our product launch here at the executive apartment suite. I believe you know Father O’Reilly, he’s there in the living room chatting with the goth kid we found on MySpace and an emo girl who answered our Craigslist ad.”

obnoxious meowing from the study

“Ignore that. And who do we have here? Must be Joanne, straight from her shift at the Olive Garden, thank you for coming. You’re off the clock so this time YOU tell US when to stop the cheese grinder, okay? Hahahaha…ok.”

heavy snuffling sounds from behind a closed door

“So we can get started in just a few minutes, here comes Victor who runs the funeral home, those two chauffeurs who agreed to carpool but couldn’t decide who would drive coming over here, and…oh yes… that giant bouncer from down the street who always has the slightly too-tight teeshirt. That’s everyone.”

Anxious penthouse murmuring

“WELCOME! Before the presentation begins, I bet you’re wondering what everyone here has in common?”

“We all answered ads to make $100 by coming up here for an hour?"

“That’s right! You’re all wearing black. Head to toe! Now before we show you our amazing new product, it would be a shame if the room was suddenly filled with an unexpected gaggle of cats and dogs!

“I said AN UNEXPECTED GAGGLE OF CATS AND DOGS!! Where the heck is Johnson, he’s blowing his cue here.”

Various Shrieking

“WHAT IS THAT THING?”

“Oh, it looks like Johnson managed to get the doors open. That’s Fluffy! She loves head pats!”

“Was it a cat?? Why is it bald?? Why ARE THEY ALL BALD???”

As the living room was overtaken with cats and dogs of all breeds and sizes, the impact of their collectively immaculate hairlessness was enough to set even the most cynical guest on edge.

“Was that one a Golden Doodle?? Those don’t even shed! What the actual hell have you done?!?!”

“Introducing the Shave-It Pet Hair Remover, one hundred percent guaranteed to end unwanted pet hair and dander, once and for all! Shave those cuddly cats and dogs right down to the skin and wear black with confidence at last!”

horrified stares amid a writhing mass of pasty exposed pet flesh

“Couldn’t you have just made a tool to clean up the pet hair from furniture and stuff?”

“Oh damn. Johnson, write that down.”

So far today...

  • 23382 of you visited.
  • 35% on a phone, 1% on a tablet.
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  • on this deal.

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  • 204 of these.
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  • That’s $2327 total.
  • (including shipping)

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