Easine by iLife G50 Cordless Stick Vacuum Cleaner

  • 4-stage filtration and Cyclone System help it capture particles big and small
  • Provides 7,000pa suction in normal mode, 10,500pa in max mode
  • If you don’t have way too much to clean and want a light maneuverable vacuum, stick with this EASINE
  • Get it? Because it’s a stick vacuum?
  • Is it available in Georgia red: Oh, weird, there do appear to be some red parts, but are they Georgia red? Hmm…
see more product specs

Easy as EASINE

“Sir?” called the henchman. His voice echoed throughout the cavernous room.

“Can’t you see I’m busy?” replied the supervillain.

“I understand sir,” said the henchman. “It’s just there’s a package for you. Two actually. An EASINE stick vacuum cleaner and a delicious sparkling wine. You know, the ‘Do Epic Shit’ Brut from Brown Family Vineyards that you purchased from Casemates to celebrate when you achieve total world domination?”

“Ah, yes,” said the supervillain pushing back his chair. “So what’s the issue?”

“Well, sir,” said the henchman, “Your signature is required.”

“For the vacuum?” The supervillain laughed. “I mean, I know it features powerful suction and 4-stage filtration with a cyclone system capable of capturing debris particles of varying sizes, expelling fresh air as it goes, but a signature seems a bit much!”

“The signature is for the wine, sir,” said the henchman.

“Oh, right,” said the supervillain. “And they need me to sign a piece of paper? In this day and age?”

“The delivery person appears to have a little digital pad thing, sir,” said the henchman.

“And you’re twenty-one,” said the supervillain, “are you not?”

“I am,” said the henchman.

“Great,” said the supervillain. “I can’t step away from my work right now, so, ensign, I’m going to need you to e-sign for the EASINE. And then I’d like to you to take the EASINE and vacuum out the east shrine so we can enshrine the E sign.”

“You want to enshrine your digital signature, sir?” the henchman said.

“No,” said the supervillain. “I’m talking about the big sign with the E on it. That stands for ‘Evil.’”

“Ah, of course, sir,” said the henchman.

“Oh, also,” said the supervillain, “I’ve hired a new worker. She’ll have the same position as you. Her name is Ina. I’ll need you to train her, but don’t rush it, please. Instead, try to ease Ina in.”

“Surely, sir,” said the henchman.

“eSwine!” cried the supervillain.

“Pardon, sir?” said the henchman.

“Oh, sorry,” said the supervillain. “I’ve been trying to come up with a name for an evil pig-themed cryptocurrency all morning.”

“Sir, I’m going to leave now,” said the henchman, “before this goes on any longer.”

“That’s a good idea,” said the supervillain.

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