Today's SideDeal
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9-Pack: New Balance Men's Performance Boxer Briefs

  • They’re New Balance, so they’re a little sporty?
  • Look, they’re some boxer briefs, okay?
  • Put them on under your pants
  • Only large sizing here, no fly
  • 2X: 44"-46" | 3X: 48"-50" | 4X: 52"-54"
  • Can they make a margarita: What do you think the answer to that question is?
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The Long Good-Bye

Relationships with one’s underwear are more like a friendship than a romance. In the best-case scenario, they involve comfort and support, secrets shared without fear of humiliation, and an utter lack of judgment.

What’s more, they end the way many friendships do too; without a definitive break-up, they carry on for a long time with neither party particularly happy to be involved anymore.

This isn’t to say that some don’t end as abruptly as certain romantic relationships, with a tear, or a loose thread, or some other bit of damage that cannot be repaired, thus requiring a swift end to the partnership. Other times, one ghosts the other; the wearer shoves the underwear far back into the drawer and forgets about them, or the underwear escapes into some crevice behind the dryer never to be heard from again, each scenario leaving one party to wonder: What happened between us?

But most of the time, it is, as we said above, a protracted process without a clear end.

Like the meet-up with your friend where you grab a drink or a coffee and feel that odd sense that you’re not connecting, so it goes with your underwear. One day, you notice a bit of discomfort: some unfortunate bunching, a mildly unpleasant give where once something cradled you, that sort of thing.

But you don’t come to grips with it right away. No, it could take months, maybe even years. The text chain climbs further and further down your recent messages. You start wearing that one favorite pair of briefs infrequently. Every now and then, though, you trick yourself. You know, somewhere deep down, that the disconnect is permanent, but you tell yourself, No! It can’t be! One of us was probably going through a hard time. Or maybe the pants I was wearing were a little tight.

So you reach out again. You slap on your old standby and a pair of chinos. And all you feel is a sense of lack, of what once was but is no longer.

What’s our point here? That we should allow relationships to evolve even if, in some cases, that evolution means their end? That the only way to cherish the good times involves an honest assessment of how things stand today? To allow ourselves to feel grief, as grief requires acknowledgment, and acknowledgment provides the crucial fuel to move forward into the next era of life?

No. Our point is to buy some briefs. Because a bunch of the ones in your drawer are probably worn out and gross.

Jeez, seriously, why so dramatic?

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  • (including shipping)

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