You know you are in the deep south when...

@therealjrn Yikes.

@therealjrn That is more or less it, only on the one I saw the free shotgun was on top and first and the diamond was second and nearly an afterthought.

@Pantheist Exactly.

@duodec Not a gun guy myself, but I would be less troubled by any of the examples you just gave than “buy an engagement ring here, get a gun”.

I’d hope someone buying a diamond ring would be trying to find one to make the recipient as happy as possible, not “well, this one comes with a shotgun.”

@Pantheist

I’d hope someone buying a diamond ring would be trying to find one to make the recipient as happy as possible, not “well, this one comes with a shotgun.”

It’s the south.

These goals might be one and the same.

@Pantheist There is no indication from the billboard that only the pictured ring qualifies; it just says a diamond. I would expect the deal requires purchase of a minimum cost or size of diamonds in a piece to qualify.

Did a little searching and found out they do something for the presumably female recipient if the marriage doesn’t work out too: Shotgun and a shovel trade-in

@duodec OMG now that is funny (shotgun and shovel article)

@Pantheist Or maybe, being the deep south, it’s for generous dads who’ve just found out their daughter is pregnant…
/giphy shotgun wedding

@duodec The good ol’ American tradition of “turkey shoot” and “rifle frolic” contests date back to the 18th century. Yes, firearms culture runs deep in the foundation this country and continues to thrive outside the massive metropolis areas.

@ruouttaurmind

And inside massive metro areas, around here.

I’m speaking of lawful use.

@Kidsandliz I imagine most Dads likely to so act already have a trusty shotgun. But what the heck, two is one, one is none.

@duodec Well if you find out you will need to throw the one you used in the swamp then you’d need another one.

@Kidsandliz

If it’s a really good swamp, that’s where you use the shovel.

Then, keep the firearm. No need to dump it.

@f00l You don’t need to dump a shotgun–they can’t do a ballistics test on it…er…um…or so I’ve heard.

@therealjrn
/image shotgun ballistics test

@Kidsandliz My understanding is the way you can identify pistols and rifles is because the rifling on the barrel leaves identifying marks on the fired bullets. Not so easy to identify with shot and a smooth barrel.

@Pantheist

If a lady is out shooting in the swamp where something or other might be buried …

Trying to give the gators a little exercise … Using a rifle … And the lady’s ammo happened to pierce a corpse she had no way of knowing was there

…

Well, it’s hardly her fault, is it?

A divorced lady with no diamonds needs a little stress relief now and then. Surely!

@f00l As long as she eats the alligator, I see no problem there.

@Pantheist I know squat about shotguns and rifles other than I accidentally knocked over someone’s shotgun they kept by the backdoor and it shot a hole through the roof.

@Pantheist

Our theoretical divorcee is exercising the gators.

You don’t want lazy gators do you?

Gators love Pilates but they need a little motivation.

@Pantheist I was a juror in a murder trial where a shotgun was used- the extractor marks from when the shell was first pushed into the chamber and then ejected are pretty unique and fingerprint-ish for each individual scattergun, and were a large part of the 2nd degree murder conviction we issued. [Along with a partial palm print on the receiver of the shotgun tying it to the guilty scum.] The extracted shells at the crime scene thus tied the gun to the scene, and the print tied the suspect [now felon] to that gun.

@PhysAssist Interesting! I never knew they could be identified that way, but it makes sense. I guess you could pick up the (large plastic) shells, but if you just shot someone you might be in a hurry to leave.

@medz Had to google that. OMG disgusting.
/image WHY???

@Kidsandliz because 'murica, that’s why

@Kidsandliz Because saying your truck has real balls just isn’t enough.

@cranky1950

A truck has balls?
Like the teeny ones that rattle around inside one’s skull?

How nice.

Now, you go back to your special website and cheer up, now.

@f00l I sure you spent more time there than I did.

@cranky1950

We know you’re just being coy.

@f00l We Coyium eat bagels and lox anyway because it’s fun.

@medz 'Cause if a guy’s afraid his own family jewels don’t measure up, he needs to say “At least my truck’s got balls”. At least that’s what I deduce from watching people who sport them

@kaighintze When we spot such trucks like that being all obnoxious, we say "Douche-mode activated!"
Like they have a button in the truck that transforms them into being all douchey like that.
I imagine they think they’re making some kind of point about freedom and being pleased with themselves thinking it offends people, but really it makes me feel embarrassed for them.

@RiotDemon That seems rather over-aspirational.

/just sayin’

@therealjrn

Ok, if you feel that way, you should wear the ring. It looks lovely!

I’ll take the firearm.
It looks great on me. Open carry.

@RiotDemon What is the likelihood you’d find a guy who you’ve deemed worthy enough to commit your life to, would graciously give you a diamond AND his Benelli? If you find such a man, hold on with both hands sugar pop!

@RiotDemon The couple that shoots together, stays together.

@RiotDemon But if he were alone in a forest with no women around would he still be wrong?

@cranky1950

You have to ask?

@RiotDemon Aahhh, true love!

@mehcuda67 Just my telecomputic personality, knocks em dead.

@meh427 And southern style biscuits

@ThatsHeadly Naw that’s just Mississippi and W Virginia, they said deep south not dumb south.

@ThatsHeadly Nah - your uncle is your brother.

@unmlobo300 I resemble that.

@unmlobo300 Yes.
When grits are on the breakfast menu, I know I must be in the South…
I prefer hash browns please.

@daveinwarsh grits are disgusting in my opinion.

@Kidsandliz and your point is?

@cranky1950 that I don’t like them… and what I didn’t add is that with living in the south they show up a lot more than I’d like where I can’t just ignore them instead I have to politely eat at least a bit of them.

@unmlobo300 with red-eye gravy.

@mehbee If you carry some shells with you, you can get the diamonds, shot gun and keep your money too!

@cranky1950

You underestimate Southern Jewelers.

@lseeber
eh?

@lseeber Kudos on excellent taste in birthday gifts.

@Garfield43 Thankya Thankya.

@Garfield43

In my part of Texas we are huge on opening doors and carrying stuff.
Everyone does it for others.

The south could use some work.

But that part’s pretty nice.

@Garfield43 I reckon that’s a midwestern thing rather than a southern thing. I’m not in the south and folks in these parts often offer to assist others. I once carried some potted plants for a gal and she later tracked me down to give me a box of cookies! The cookies were ok, not great.

@medz

Common in much of the country. Is a good thing.

@narfcake Deep-fried anything sounds like the Iowa State Fair.

@msklzannie + on a stick. That’s mandatory when it comes to state fairs.

/image deep fried on a stick

@narfcake Deep fried butter!

@msklzannie i have a photo i took at the Iowa State Fair of a lady looking at the baby pigs while eating a delicious pork chop. It was a great illustration of the circle of life.

@mehbee
Our State Fair offers that.

@mfladd Personally, I think that housing arrangement is really cool. I’d live somewhere like that if the price, amenities, etc. were right.

@mfladd This reminds me of Ernest Cline’s description of “the stacks” in Ready Player One.

@jbartus
/image shipping container house

/image shipping container house 1

@jbartus and if there isn’t any hurricanes to blow it all away.

@ruouttaurmind that’s pretty much what it looks like in the trailer.

/youtube ready player one trailer

@narfcake yeah shipping container houses are one of my favorite forms of upcycling

@jbartus
@narfcake

Love the notion of innovative social and creative architectural shipping container and RV communities.

Esp if they can be made reasonably safe in tornado and hurricane areas.

Not sure about the last tho.

These are prob far more expensive but also far safer:

Thickly insulationed, steel-reinforced shotcreet (sprayed concrete).

Can be home-built by the determined, if they have a small crew and are comfortable working with their hands.

The biggest issues are often zoning/city regs and financing, due to the unconventional appearance. (Financial institutions are leery of housing that does not look like all other housing. That’s another issue tho.)

Tornados will not tear them to pieces.

Insulation quality means extremely low hearing and cooling costs. This method of construction has been used for both small and large scale projects such as high-schools, libraries, and public buildings, in areas with extreme temps. The instulation features are excellent in practice.

@unmlobo300 I hate waffle house. Their coffee is decent though.

@Pantheist

But they are both a disaster refuge, and a disaster-level indication system.

Love them for that.