You Goat Yourself Into This (March 2022 Scapegoat Blame Thread)
12February flew by so fast. Feels like the shortest month we’ve had in at least a year. Wonder why that is?
In other news, @ironcheftoni made a good habit of keeping us fed with a steady supply of recipes for our dining pleasure. All that on top of holding the blame for a solid 4 weeks of frustration from the crowd. Well done.
However, we have to move on to greener pastures (at least I hope so, for the sake of the goats) and get on with the business of stringing up a new goat for a spring feast. For better or worse, @mbersiam stuck their neck out and is willing to spend March on the chopping block.
Good luck to the new scapegoat, and I hope you all enjoy putting your problems squarely on the shoulders of someone else for another month.
- 23 comments, 98 replies
- Comment
We expect daily photos of cute goats!!
@ironcheftoni Yes, yes, YES!!
Like my mom always said, don’t do something once that you aren’t willing to do again! Goat pics every day please!
Blame for tomorrow’s weather, whatever it is, because I have to slog through mud to the shed for gardening stuff.
@OldCatLady it’s above freezing here so I’ll happily take the blame for that one!
Blame for absolutely marvelous weather forecast for tomorrow, when I have to be stuck at a primary polling place as an alternate judge.
@werehatrack but you’re helping others uphold their civic duty. For that, you are amazing!
Blame for my fucking landlord doing a white glove inspection tomorrow (Tuesday). They did one in Sept, Nov, Jan and now March 1. Seriously?
@Kidsandliz Yikes. That seems rather invasive. I never heard of that happening during the course of a lease rather than at the end.
@Kidsandliz Close all the interior doors. Put Krazy glue or epoxy glue on door handles in half the rooms a couple of minutes before LL is scheduled to get there, with loose chicken feathers on stuff in other rooms.
A little acetone and it can be removed easily from doors.
@heartny @Kidsandliz Does your lease have language that allows them to do that? If not, you could probably find a lawyer willing to make some money on a contingency basis for a win in court in a suit for punitive damages.
@Kidsandliz that seems … excessive.
Do they at least keep the place maintained too?
@heartny @Kidsandliz @phendrick also force the landlord to fix the broken appliances.
@heartny @ironcheftoni @phendrick Well they just came and went. And they are writing me up for something they have ignored the entire 2 years and 2 months they have owned this place. I have a cat toy (ball tied to thin round sewing elastic - cats pull it back in their mouths, let it go and then chase it as it bounces back and forth) hanging in a doorway from a nail over the door above the door frame. I was just told I am not allowed to hang anything that “blocks doors”. WTF? So I took it down in front of them. Will put it back up and take it down any time anyone comes into my apt for anything. Brownie pan is under the bed and is going back in the oven as I have nowhere else to put it. Cookie sheets fit between the stove and the wall or I’d have no place to store them either. Of course the oven doesn’t work - yeah I’ve put in a work order more than once - I hate this fucking place. Location is very convenient, I like the window that sticks out sort of like a bay window so it feels less like living in a sardine can and I look out over trees and houses (ha ha I had to tell the lady in the house behind me not to sunbath topless on her roof - I am on one of the floors higher than the houses - as the guy next door uses binoculars and watches. She was horrified.) rather than the parking lot or a commercial district the other sides face, hate the crime, hate the owners (managers are ok but they are micromanaged by the owners - owners are verbally abusive as well)…
On the waiting list to get into somewhere else. None will be as convenient, but not having to deal with the owners will outweigh that. I hope anyway. Only two others in places that are even marginally safe, the rest are worse than here and I already have had cops shove 2 guys against my car as they were arresting them, 2 cars stolen by mine, catalytic converters stolen, gun fire on a regular basis, homeless get in the building and sleep in the trash rooms and accost you in the parking lot… and all of that has been since last early October. When I filled out those applications the woman asked me why so many people who live where I live are moving. I told her. She told me there were 17 people on her waiting list from here; I’d make #18 and likely a 2+ year wait. The other place said probably 18 mo (they are much bigger though).
@heartny @ironcheftoni @Kidsandliz @phendrick
Perhaps you can turn their “inspection” into a mandatory confirmation by them of the broken shit that they are responsible for. Like the stove not working.
Want to inspect the stove? Sure, after you turn it on and confirm it is in working order. Then you can look inside for bullshit to your heart’s content.
Then they have witnessed and confirmation of their non-compliance they can’t redact or pretend ignorance of the problems on their side of the contract. Contracts work both ways, you can’t pick and choose which parts are valid because they only benefit you.
@heartny @ironcheftoni @Kidsandliz @phendrick
Oh yeah, great cat toy! I need to make something like that for my guy Tuc, thanks for the idea/inspiration! 
WOW! At first I was thinking how your landlord is a wicked A-hole! After hearing about the neighborhood, I’m thinking of the possible tenants they’ve had in the past, and all the kinds of damages that they might’ve had. Still thinking they’re A-holes, after you’ve been there a while they should be able to see how you live and know that you aren’t one of the bad guys. Make them fix that stove/oven, (even if you’ll never use it) hold them to the same standards they’re holding you to! With those kind of landlords it might/could be beneficial to have them do inspections, it could be the difference in you getting your security deposit back. I’m feeling pretty blessed for always being able to rent from my parents or other relatives. Where on earth do you live anyway?
unblame.
@mbersiam - wtf, last month everything at the Dollar Tree was a $1 or less. Now it’s a $1.25 or less. How could you?!
@njfan The cost of goat feed went up, I had to!
I’ve held off on the blame long enough! It’s been over 2 months that my low mileage (80k) 2009 Nissan Rogue has been in the shop and I’m finally at wits end! To say I’m completely frustrated is a understatement! It’s not starting and it’s nothing simple, everything has been tested and it’s not showing any codes. It’s been at my regular mechanic and then 8 weeks ago he had it sent to the Nissan dealership. They’ve finally reached out to the factory and they’re still troubleshooting and trying to find the problem. On the brighter side… it’s still falling under the $125 diagnostic fee.
@Lynnerizer sorry for that, I’ll have to get the goats back in the pen
@Lynnerizer
Our 2017 Sentra had an intermittent starting problem which was misdiagnosed as a faulty brake pedal switch twice under warranty before it went to full failure after the earranty expired. I have better skills and tools than some of the independent shops, and I was able to isolate the cause down to a failure in either of two horribly expensive modules, but I was unable to determine which one had failed. One was still under warranty. So, of course, the other one was where rhe fault was located. $1300 to fix a failure that could not have even been possible in most older vehicles. I absolutely loathe the devices called “body control midules”.
@werehatrack
Are those the ones that are full of midichlorians?
/giphy midichlorian
Blame. I’m out of snacks.
Any suggestions for my next trip to the store?
@ExtraMedium I had a gopher head I coulda sent you.
@ExtraMedium If you have a Safeway nearby, these things are good - half brownie, half Madeleine
In my last box there was one with a face:
@lisaviolet Maybe next time. I think I’ll pass for now.
@Kyeh I could get behind some of those.
@ExtraMedium @Kyeh
Girl Scout cookies are in season.
Note to self. Don’t roll up to the GS stand in front of the grocery store in a non-descript panel van, roll down the window, slow down, and shout “Hey little girl, wanna make some easy money fast?”
@ExtraMedium my kiddo sold cheesecakes for a fundraiser recently. I haven’t cheesecake in forever so it was a nice change. Try that.
Blame. For apparently letting @carl69 publish a math book type document. (Did I get his tag right?) Here is a screenshot of page 10 of 100:
I found this document on Scribd.com (free for limited usage).
Search for “Concrete
Contemporary Abstract Algebra” and then click on category “Documents” and it’s the first one listed. Verify author is Nicolas Bourbaki Jr.
Bourbaki (senior) is well-known to math people; see wikipedia. This document has serious mathematics but very unconventional terminology.
Apparently is was pulled from other places where posted.
Good for LOLs especially if you know some group theory.
Correction: @carl669
Also, “is” is “it”, but missed edit window,
@phendrick where the freaking fuck did you find my math book??
@carl669 Not like you hid it very f’n well:
https://www.scribd.com/doc/18093757/Fuckin-Concrete-Contemporary-Abstract-Algebra-Introduction-by-Nicolas-Bourbaki-Junior
Sorry I didn’t have this while I was in graduate school; would’ve loved to quote sections to my “favorite” profs.
The “Introfuck” actually sums up the development of abstract algebra pretty accurately, albeit I had never read it with such colorful vernacular before.
@carl669 @phendrick
You had me at “Doggy Style Galois Fields”.
@carl669 @phendrick Hmm I could have used a book like that during 3 semester PhD statistics when I had to learn both matrix algebra and those stats. What a PITA. Fortunately there was a stat program out there that was menu driven and then you could ask it to print the matrix algebra solution (hmm I bet the prof didn’t realize that). Well and the other thing that helped was in the old stacks of the library I found a 1974 book teaching that shit in matrix algebra and the prof was teaching out of that book. What a find. I lived the entire term in terror someone else would find out about that book and recall it on me.
@carl669 @Kidsandliz @phendrick
Ooo, you sneaky little devil!
@carl669 @Kyeh @phendrick Hahaha students would never find that book these days. It’s not googleable.
@carl669 @Kidsandliz @Kyeh @phendrick
Yeah! Librarians, FTW!
Also, support your local library, Little Free Libraries. Unfortunately, the big publishers have also put their hooks into the library purchasing systems for e-books and further extorting the taxpayers for overpriced end-runs around first purchase laws by converting “purchases” into “licenses”. Fuckers.
And they’re also pulling copies and licenses for old books that suddenly become popular, especially if it is because some lunatics want to ban it - like Maus. And then jacking up the prices to sell back to the libraries at higher “license” costs. Greedy Fuckers, every one of them.
@carl669 @Kidsandliz @mike808 @phendrick Yes, well - I owe my existence to a library, because my parents met while working in one. And I followed in their footsteps, eventually. So I agree, yay libraries!
@carl669 @Kidsandliz I had a similar situation in high school. I was helping clean out a store room and kept several interesting old books. Our social studies class that semester was taught by the football coach. His teaching method was to sit and read to us from a book – I spent a week or two scrambling to write notes, like the other students. Then it dawned on me that his book was the same as one of the ones I kept. The rest of the semester I just sat and underlined the text as he read to us, then could leisurely review at home (and get context for the stuff the coach omitted). I don’t recall if any other students noticed what I was doing.
@carl669 @Kyeh @mike808 @phendrick I didn’t realize your parents were
bookworms@carl669 @Kidsandliz @mike808 @phendrick
@carl669 @Kyeh @mike808 @phendrick What? You do not like my puns?
@carl669 @Kidsandliz @mike808 @phendrick
@mike808
Whoa…, I hadn’t realized Maus wasn’t still controlled by the creator (Art Spiegelman*). That really sucks!
*BTW, Art was one of the creators of Garbage Pail Kids
@chienfou
https://mashable.com/article/maus-publisher-internet-archive-digital-library
Fuckers. Dending C&D to the Internet Archive to remove it (meaning create artificial scarcity solely for profit).
That’s some gourmet anti-competitive Sherman Act asshattery.
/image pulp fiction gourmet
@carl669 @Kidsandliz @Kyeh @mike808 @phendrick i have my library card number memorized.
Unblame: my Apple newsfeed had this image with this article:
https://www.inverse.com/mind-body/weight-training-longevity
@tinamarie1974 @OldCatLady
I’m sure you agree …
@Kyeh I DID NOT authorize them to use my likeness in that manner.
@phendrick
@Kyeh @phendrick Wait,… If you’re the dumbbells, who’s the hot nekkid dude?
@mike808
You are # 1 in my book.
@Kyeh Oh, I certainly do!
@Kyeh @OldCatLady @phendrick
Oh, look. He found a friend.
@OldCatLady @tinamarie1974
What I especially loved was that it was an article addressed to everyone, not just men. And usually the eye candy is a hot girl. So nice they chose him for a change!
Unblame. Found my Lenten Fish sammich.
I can forego meat, but not food pr0n.
@tinamarie1974
Behold, the Gioia’s King Cod.
A slab of baked cod, mac’n’cheese, and some Riplet’s Red Hots for crunch and spice. Splash some gardiniera juice (or for me, some sport peppers marinating in a ketchup bottle) and stuff your face until you pass out from flavor and carb overload.
@mike808
Take that, all you keto-adherents!
@mike808 an execellent unblame! One of my fav places. I like the secret menu Big George, also previously called the Sid-wich.
Did you know they won the James Beard award?
@mike808 did you see today’s special @ Mac’s? Thought of you
@tinamarie1974 Nope. Trying the new Popeye’s Flounder sandwich today. Supposed to be as awesome as the chicken.
POPSOCKETS! SPA KITS! POLLY POCKETS! AWESOME!
@mike808
/giphy drool
@mbersiam @tinamarie1974
Bout ready to eat my King Cod.
Mmmmmmmmm
@mbersiam @tinamarie1974
OMG. My Keto diet is destroyed. And it’s a freakin salt bomb. It was delicious and good. The cod was big, flaky, and tender. Just overloaded with carbs and I’m drinking gallons of water. If I got it again, I’d ditch the cheese, or at least not pick “St. Louis Cheese” (aka Provel). And I’d drop the Riplet’s and add a garnish to cut the salt, maybe even the garlic bread might have to swap with plain to get rid of more salt. Which is a shame, since all of those add flavor. Just so much salt…
I must atone for attempting such chicanery and not going on Friday so I can order a hot salami sammich instead, and note to choose ingredients responsibly as salami has gobs of salt to start with also.
@mbersiam @mike808 But was it good?
@mbersiam @tinamarie1974
And I just woke up from my carb coma.
Blame because it has been an exceptionally difficult week.
Unblame because I decided I needed a nap in the middle of the work day, so I took it!!! It felt amazing!!
@tinamarie1974
@narfcake Blame! This thread has gotten unpinned from the main page, and isn’t popping up in the list for me.
@werehatrack
and POOF just like magic, you pushed this thread to the top of the list!
Blame - our goat and her crew have
gone AWOL!
@Kyeh
While you wait for the return of the Ghost Goat, watch this video of a cat playing with a fidget spinner.
@Kyeh And this was a goat who wanted to be goat…
@Kidsandliz @Kyeh And we’re not even halfway through the month…
@mike808 What a great cat!
@Kyeh yikes. I wasn’t getting notifications that this thread even had activity. I was responding to the thread that was asking where this thread was though
@mbersiam I thought I remembered that you could opt to get notified about new replies to a particular thread, but I can’t find that setting so maybe I’m thinking of something else…
@Kyeh @mbersiam
I think you can just opt to be notified of any references to your @name mentions, not a specific thread.
@chienfou @mbersiam @name Yeah, I know about that, I thought I remembered seeing a place to click to receive any new messages in a thread.
@Kyeh @mbersiam @name
Can’t say I remember seeing that, but it would be handy… Hint, hint
@chienfou @Kyeh @mbersiam I think the envelope icon under the first post sends all replies from a thread.
@chienfou @mbersiam @speediedelivery
Oh, right!
Thanks, so I wasn’t imagining it!
Unblame. I think we know what @mbersiam has been working on…
The Institute of Unfinished Research has concluded that 6 out of 10 people
@mike808
@mbersiam @mike808
3) Those who fail to meet either qualification, even when this requires that they must be in a theoretically impossible state, but sometimes proving that the dichotomy is either false, actually a trichotomy, or otherwise misformulated.
@mbersiam @mike808 @werehatrack
e) nun of the above.
I thought we were promised a cute goat a day.
@unksol empty campaign promises?
@tinamarie1974 I mean just the number of goats. Should have generated some.
Have a cat
@tinamarie1974 @unksol
Fuck. I guess everything is DIY around here.
@unksol I see your cat and I raise you two dogs. Lol
@tinamarie1974 @unksol
yep it does look like you are raising 2 dogs!
@tinamarie1974 I mean I can call in 6 more. Good doggies
@unksol ok you win!!!
@tinamarie1974 lol it’s hard to get all 7 at once. It happens but they are doing their morning zoom. Where they zoom through the living room. At the moment we are just hearing noises.
@unksol I had that yesterday when I was dog sitting my moms old boy Buddy(the brown one in my pic) Sadily crazy Charlie decided to crash into him with all his might and a LOT of built up speed. Poor Buddy hurt his leg and couldnt walk on it for 24 hrs
I was afraid it was sprained, but apparently he is up and around today.
@chienfou @unksol raising one and dog sitting my fur brother
@chienfou @tinamarie1974 I thought you only had Charlie was wondering who the new guy was
@chienfou @unksol up! That is my mom and dads sweet old man. He is a good guy
@tinamarie1974 @unksol did you subscribe to goat facts?
@mbersiam @unksol I did!!! But I havent seen any updates
Unblame. Mando reboot “back to the '80s”:
Teaser
@mike808
/giphy mandolorian
Unblame. I can haz lapWeasel.
@werehatrack I do wonder sometimes how they find it comfortable to be wedged up against things like your desk edge.
@werehatrack I was meditating this morning and my puppy jumped on my lap and fell asleep while I was doing so. I felt bad moving her once I needed to get ready for work.
Blame - it is finally dark at 6am again so it is easier to sleep and then what happens??? A damn cat jumps on the kitchen counter and turns on the motion sensor light over the sink with it’s tail (I live in two rooms and can’t shut the bedroom door due to where the dirt boxes are).
Double blame - I forgot last night to set up the avalanche containers to keep the cats off at night.
Triple blame - then they think it is time to be fed because I got up to turn off the light. Umm nope. Not rewarding that behavior.
Quadruple blame. And then I go back to bed and I have cats crawling all over me meowing. So now I am awake and decide to check my email. Still not going to feed them until it is time (not to mention there is food in the bowl).
@Kidsandliz
/giphy cats and aluminum foil
Blame - and this why the 5 year old cut all the hair off her doll and hacked off the hair on brother’s head in places. She liked the sound of scissors cutting hair. She stated it sounded nicer cutting her brother’s hair than her doll’s hair. I guess she has a future in cosmetology?
@Kidsandliz all 3 of my kids cut their own hair, sometimes more than once. There’s an infamous story about my dad cutting his little sister’s hair practically bald when she was 2. She just sat there and let him do it
My middle one was the worst with scissors. She would cut her clothes, toys, …i even found holes in my curtains from her.
@mbersiam Yeah my kid would try to “remodel” her clothes with scissors and safety pins. Of course she’d also leave the house with street legal clothes and then use safety pins and twist ties to transform those same clothes (while on the school bus) into the “low budget lady of the night” look. She landed in detention more than once for that little trick.
Unblame. Tornado missed me by about 7-8 miles. About 8 or so years ago I got missed by far less. I SAW it out my car window about a mile, if that, north of me and was driving in an area with tree branches falling off the trees while it passed by (no way to head south so I had to parallel it). Do not like tornados.
@Kidsandliz wow! That’s crazy. Glad you’re ok!
Double fucking blame. The roof leak in this apt building (with the massive amounts of rain that came with this storm) means my apt rug is soaked (glued to the floor so can’t just pull it up. And the entitled bitch on the floor below us, who has less water on the floor than me or the person next to me, is getting the apt building owned fans because she makes so much noise. Never mind both myself and my next door neighbor and the people above us have standing water on the rug. She doesn’t. They are fixing the roof in a couple of months. MONTHS! I just called navigate housing to complain about that. This is the worst it has been.
The even bigger pain is no washer and dryer and so yet again I will have several loads (just used all my towels, blankets and sheets to try to get water out of the rug) at my expense at the laundromat for the management’s unwillingness to fix the roof in a timely manner. My earlier complaint to navigate housing about all the streetlight lights out in the parking lot finally resulted in them fixing them. Mgt here said about the parking lot they own: “The parking lot is not our problem. That is what you have insurance for”. HUH? Fucking assholes. And yes I am on the waiting list elsewhere to get the fuck out of here.
@Kidsandliz damn. I bet that rug really tied the room together. Hope you find a new place soon. They’ve really been jerking you around there.
/giphy labowski
So I saw that hurricanes are heading for MS and AL; @Kidsandliz and @chienfou, hope you’re staying safe!
@Kyeh
It’s been windy all day and we just ended a tornado warning at 0100. Rain and lots of lightening right now. Headed back to bed… Safe so far.
Hope you weren’t too impacted by the wildfires out YOUR way…
@chienfou Oh, right - tornadoes, not hurricanes - glad they’ve missed you, anyway!
And hope they continue to do so…
The wildfires have died down for now; I hope it stays that way.
@Kyeh
Thanks… Night night…
@Kyeh One apparently briefly shut down about 4 or 5 miles south of me and one about the same distance north of me. Major straight line winds that put all the streetlights and traffic lights out around me. Apt flooded again. Stupid corporate is doing a white glove inspection Thurs afternoon or Friday morning. Right. In an apt that flooded again. Sigh. And that is why I am up so late cleaning up as I had to teach tonight for 4 hours, and blah blah blah. Not to mention I am sick right now too (not covid). Local management did one March 2. They’ve done this to me Sept, Nov, Jan, Mar and Mar. Sucks. Bunch of assholes. I mean - seriously?
@Kidsandliz Oh, that’s awful. I hope they catch whatever you’re ill with, then!