VMP membership. I want to be loathed, but desirable. Potentially useful, but relentlessly disappointing. A comfort, but a cause for anxiety. A value, but a waste. Something once coveted, but inexorably meh…
@shahnm a $5/month cash sink, into which you can pour out all your miseries and disappointments, while watching and waiting in vain for something, anything even, that could possibly justify spending $60 per year for the maximum level of disappointment. And not even a Squatty Potty in sight! Meh, I say, meh!!
It doesn’t fit the requirement of being sold often(or even at all YET) but you can zap my consciousness into an I.R.K.(Instant Regret Kit) because I love surprising people with gifts.(Also I have occasionally been name dropping the new and hopefully improved I.R.K. in hopes that perhaps the gods of mediocrity will show me favor and send me some sort of prototype)…you know so I can make sure it works properly or something.
Probably an extreme long shot but hey, a fella can dream can’t he…
That time machine you sold about 6 months ago. You dont’t remember because a bunch of mehtizens used them to mess with the timeline and there was a huge meh battle between those changing the election in favor of Trump, Clinton, Sanders, and Irk. So Thumperchick went back in time and erased the sale of the machines, consequently erasing everyone’s memories of the alternate timelines, including hers. Except for mine, because Thumperchick forgot about the defective time machine that was sent in my fukoboro that you now have no record of sending me. My time machine will only operate when that song I hate comes on the radio, when it activates automatically and repeats the song between 3 and 300 times. I’m getting pretty good at singing along with the damned tune by now. Anyway, I’d like my mind transported into a properly functioning time machine. The lime green model if available.
A speaker dock. That way I can still talk to people.
A 400 pack of fidget spinners.
Irk and Glenn bobble heads.
Oh… wait…
A tawdry faux-pearl bauble, please, to match my blithely insubstantial personality.
@UncleVinny They may be tawdry, but they aren’t faux. They have only sold real pearls here.
Brain cells not destroyed by alcohol!
A comforter.
Disappointment
Oh, no. I don’t think so.
Candy Corn. I want to be legendary.
@hchavers I’m waiting for you to say, “Wait for it”…
A Meh t-shirt! I’m right there, riding on your chest
Personal massager
@medz Here’s your new owner:
VMP membership. I want to be loathed, but desirable. Potentially useful, but relentlessly disappointing. A comfort, but a cause for anxiety. A value, but a waste. Something once coveted, but inexorably meh…
@shahnm a $5/month cash sink, into which you can pour out all your miseries and disappointments, while watching and waiting in vain for something, anything even, that could possibly justify spending $60 per year for the maximum level of disappointment. And not even a Squatty Potty in sight! Meh, I say, meh!!
A knife. So I can sit in your pocket until the stabbing starts.
A Fuko. I want to witness the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat. Or the agony of victory, as the case may be.
It doesn’t fit the requirement of being sold often(or even at all YET) but you can zap my consciousness into an I.R.K.(Instant Regret Kit) because I love surprising people with gifts.(Also I have occasionally been name dropping the new and hopefully improved I.R.K. in hopes that perhaps the gods of mediocrity will show me favor and send me some sort of prototype)…you know so I can make sure it works properly or something.
Probably an extreme long shot but hey, a fella can dream can’t he…
a drone vacuum blender. I’ll be looking forward to it …
@stolicat I know mediocrebot said “sell often”, but I’m going to say a Cadillac Escalade filled with cash. It’s aspirational.
You all think you want to fly, but consider: a robot vacuum cleaner can recharge itself.
crappy Fitness tracker so I can go places. like to the couch, and the fridge, and back…
An Irk plushie!
@Grumman YYEEESSS
IBM’s Watson
Granted you don’t sell it …
…Yet!
Me no fly. I really really like it here on the ground.
But no robot vacuum either. The dust would just make me sneeze…
I’ll go with a sous vide. Most useful (and most used) thing I’ve bought here.
A watch because i want to be a timeless relic that no one needs but they just can’t seam to get rid of.
The real question is, what happens to our consciousness after 2-12 minutes?
That time machine you sold about 6 months ago. You dont’t remember because a bunch of mehtizens used them to mess with the timeline and there was a huge meh battle between those changing the election in favor of Trump, Clinton, Sanders, and Irk. So Thumperchick went back in time and erased the sale of the machines, consequently erasing everyone’s memories of the alternate timelines, including hers. Except for mine, because Thumperchick forgot about the defective time machine that was sent in my fukoboro that you now have no record of sending me. My time machine will only operate when that song I hate comes on the radio, when it activates automatically and repeats the song between 3 and 300 times. I’m getting pretty good at singing along with the damned tune by now. Anyway, I’d like my mind transported into a properly functioning time machine. The lime green model if available.
can I be a speaker dock made out of knives?