Probably dead. The way I treat machines, they’d come for me first. If it’s ghouls, I’ll trip while running away, because I’m clumsy. Honestly, clumsy will probably be what kills me, no matter what. That and violent crime have cut short the lives of several of my male relatives. And the violent crimes was because they were moonshiners. Not exactly my job.
As usual I’d be hanging the “Decampment / Decommissioned” signs, doing the final check for company assets and personal belongings, going through the keys with the landlord’s representative, completing the final walkthrough, and locking up.
It’d start innoccuously enough. I’d probably demonstrate some slight affinity for some useful skill, like, holding a hammer the right way round. After a few days practice, I’d routinely avoid smashing my own thumbs.
After that, it’d be a straight shot to being the entire village’s only workman who understands how even one thing works, and I’d be too important to be allowed to leave or promote.
I have four pages of a short story about a wandering troupe of traveling players that roams up and down a post-apocalyptic I-5, stopping in towns and performing in exchange for canned goods and water. That’s my plan when society collapses. No TV? Got you covered with my theatrical adaptation of Firefly.
Healer/Cook/Janet-of-all-Trades - also animal whisperer. basically, i’m your traveling mom/auntie who’ll help you feel better, eat a good meal, and fix all those silly annoying things. i make life better.
@Cerridwyn Wow! Has it been that long? I remember that list but unfortunately none of what I added to it ever made it back to be included on the website (and I had a few doozies!). In fact, my comment above about the uniform was one of them. Thanks for digging that up - it was a real nostalgia trip.