No, I’m a zombie pretending to be part of the Spanish Inquisition because noone would suspect that. By the time you figure it out you’ll hear the word “brains” and it will be too late.
Hopefully as a helpful jack of all trades sidekick, important enough to the main character that I survive, but not important enough to focus any real attention towards
Probably dead. The way I treat machines, they’d come for me first. If it’s ghouls, I’ll trip while running away, because I’m clumsy. Honestly, clumsy will probably be what kills me, no matter what. That and violent crime have cut short the lives of several of my male relatives. And the violent crimes was because they were moonshiners. Not exactly my job.
As usual I’d be hanging the “Decampment / Decommissioned” signs, doing the final check for company assets and personal belongings, going through the keys with the landlord’s representative, completing the final walkthrough, and locking up.
It’d start innoccuously enough. I’d probably demonstrate some slight affinity for some useful skill, like, holding a hammer the right way round. After a few days practice, I’d routinely avoid smashing my own thumbs.
After that, it’d be a straight shot to being the entire village’s only workman who understands how even one thing works, and I’d be too important to be allowed to leave or promote.
Random banditry would be excellent! Especially the highway robbery of all Progressive liberals! Have been listening to those whiny bastards long enough!
I have four pages of a short story about a wandering troupe of traveling players that roams up and down a post-apocalyptic I-5, stopping in towns and performing in exchange for canned goods and water. That’s my plan when society collapses. No TV? Got you covered with my theatrical adaptation of Firefly.
Healer/Cook/Janet-of-all-Trades - also animal whisperer. basically, i’m your traveling mom/auntie who’ll help you feel better, eat a good meal, and fix all those silly annoying things. i make life better.
First off, let me start by saying that I’m going to sell out the humans. Hard.
After that I’m applying for the position of Evil Overlord - but I refuse to wear any uniform encrusted with medals I didn’t really earn. They never impress anybody, not even the cat.
@Cerridwyn Wow! Has it been that long? I remember that list but unfortunately none of what I added to it ever made it back to be included on the website (and I had a few doozies!). In fact, my comment above about the uniform was one of them. Thanks for digging that up - it was a real nostalgia trip.
Oooh, I wanna be in charge of deciding where to attach the giant metal spikes on the rusted-out hotrods. I suggest everywhere.
@nogoodwithnames As long as I can be Head “Superfluous Flame Thrower”
Engineer
The one who has sufficient Provisions, well secured and hidden.
@phendrick I’d be the one with enough arms to secure someone else’s provisions.
Owner of the land south of the no freeze zone(with enforcable borders).
I’m part of the Spanish Inquisition.
Or am I?
No, I’m a zombie pretending to be part of the Spanish Inquisition because noone would suspect that. By the time you figure it out you’ll hear the word “brains” and it will be too late.
Garbage man, for the job security
Suicide. The fucking world has collapsed.
How’s that for a cheery New Year?
I’m gonna go Nazi hunting.
@ThatsHeadly You need directions to D.C.?
@cinoclav nope, I got Waze.
@ThatsHeadly Hit up Iowa first? We could use some Nazi hunters.
@JoetatoChip @ThatsHeadly
I hate Illinois Nazis.
@JoetatoChip @ThatsHeadly And while you’re at it, there is a whole community of inbreds, living by the Iowa state fair grounds.
The world collapsed in Jan 20, 2017, or didn’t you read every headline that day onward?
Hopefully as a helpful jack of all trades sidekick, important enough to the main character that I survive, but not important enough to focus any real attention towards
The guy that fixes everything. Not so glamorous, but the rest of you showboats are nothing without me.
@blaineg
This is me, but with tech.
I am someone with no identity. I guess I am starting over.
Living off my food I’ve canned for just such an occasion. Trying to stay out of the way of all the crazies.
Random incompetent.
I will be the Lone Wanderer, running around the ruins or Washington DC looking for my dad.
@cpierce you have to get past the vault overseer first.
Probably dead. The way I treat machines, they’d come for me first. If it’s ghouls, I’ll trip while running away, because I’m clumsy. Honestly, clumsy will probably be what kills me, no matter what. That and violent crime have cut short the lives of several of my male relatives. And the violent crimes was because they were moonshiners. Not exactly my job.
As usual I’d be hanging the “Decampment / Decommissioned” signs, doing the final check for company assets and personal belongings, going through the keys with the landlord’s representative, completing the final walkthrough, and locking up.
This ain’t my first götterdämmerung, baby!
meh!
Master scrounger
It’d start innoccuously enough. I’d probably demonstrate some slight affinity for some useful skill, like, holding a hammer the right way round. After a few days practice, I’d routinely avoid smashing my own thumbs.
After that, it’d be a straight shot to being the entire village’s only workman who understands how even one thing works, and I’d be too important to be allowed to leave or promote.
That’s been my experience so far, anyways.
Mr. Fix-it. The one who keeps everything running. (That’s what I did the last 5 years at work)
I still own my house that’s in the forest. I"ll go back there and stay quietly out of everyones path and have a good defense system built up.
Random banditry would be excellent! Especially the highway robbery of all Progressive liberals! Have been listening to those whiny bastards long enough!
I just always be myself.
Unless I can be Batman…
I have four pages of a short story about a wandering troupe of traveling players that roams up and down a post-apocalyptic I-5, stopping in towns and performing in exchange for canned goods and water. That’s my plan when society collapses. No TV? Got you covered with my theatrical adaptation of Firefly.
@YannaUsagi
Healer/Cook/Janet-of-all-Trades - also animal whisperer. basically, i’m your traveling mom/auntie who’ll help you feel better, eat a good meal, and fix all those silly annoying things. i make life better.
First off, let me start by saying that I’m going to sell out the humans. Hard.
After that I’m applying for the position of Evil Overlord - but I refuse to wear any uniform encrusted with medals I didn’t really earn. They never impress anybody, not even the cat.
@Jon651 Um, nothing ever impresses the cat.
@Fuzzalini Laser pointers.
@Jon651
make sure you know the rules
all of them
http://www.eviloverlord.com/lists/overlord.html
@Cerridwyn Wow! Has it been that long? I remember that list but unfortunately none of what I added to it ever made it back to be included on the website (and I had a few doozies!). In fact, my comment above about the uniform was one of them. Thanks for digging that up - it was a real nostalgia trip.
@Jon651
you are most welcome
Witch
Healer
Herbalist
Old woman
This is EXACTLY why I bought a 4-harness floor loom and hoard paraffin.
Crazy Hermit
Village ID10T.
@f00l Not the Village f00l?
@therealjrn
Of course! That also!
Goes without saying.
: )