My lovely SO is an absolutely TERRIBLE housekeeper. No amount of extra work by me can keep up with the disaster area that she & the kids leave in their wake. My Mom literally can't come over
When my mother was alive, she lived 300 miles away so would visit once a year and I'd know when she was coming. There was a total cleaning then. I even washed the walls. In between times, not so much. Of course my son blew it when he told her the only time I cleaned the oven was when she was coming. Snotty kid!
We had a constant presence of multiple animals while growing up, so it takes very little effort to keep my place better than what I was raised in. Her place now, however, is far better than mine. So, I guess it's really a draw.
I couldn't care less about my mothers thoughts on the subject. I grew up on a farm, and my mother was a horrible housekeeper. She came to live near me when she retired and my husband noted she lived like a hobbit. In fact more than once she's been referred to as grandma bilbo baggins. Now she lives with me as she can't live by herself after medical issues. I have a people who come in to help with the house, and assist with grandma bilbo. The house is very clean compared to how she raised me. Cluttered some, but clean most of the time. One day she said, to one of her visitors (in a very judgemental tone) --- I didn't raise my daughter to live like this. My husband heard it too, and thought my head was going to pop off. The next day I took her to the nasty urine scented nursing home across town, and told her, if the accommodations I am providing aren't down to her standards, arrangements could be made. Her apologies soon followed.
The solution is to not have your mom know where you live to avoid the possibility of judgment. There is potential for guilty feelings to develop but if you have already established yourself as a horrible and ungrateful child, this emotion should not be new and likely will dissipate in short time.
@elimanningface I have a really quite clean and orderly friend (even clean and orderly in college). But his Mom is white-glove clean. He is one of those people who is always calm no matter what.
During the 20 years he had an apartment, he never allowed her in, after the first year - they lived near each other. He wouldnt even let her in to use the bathroom.
Every time she confronted him, he politely explained that he didnt dust very often, and she would be upset, and it was best to avoid conflict.
Mom was a pretty calm sort herself, not hysterical, tho she didnt like it. Since he was in all other ways a model son, she accepted it. She knew he wasnt hiding horrible vices.
Now he's married, his wife loves housekeeping, and his Mom is happy she can visit in his house.
Since I work swing shifts and really don't give a flying fudge bucket what anybody thinks about my house while I'm working, my mom channeled her innate awesomeness and bought me a house cleaning service certificate.
I'm pretty sure whatever was in the laundry room ate them, but my living room never looked better.
My house is cleaner than the one I grew up in (except for the bedroom, which we don't allow anyone in), and my mom still finds reasons to tell me how messy it is. My mother-in-law will come over to see the kids, and has nothing to say of my house (even though her house is always clean).
I'm a lazy slacker ingrate, but my honey does a damn fine job of picking up after me.
And she only bitches at me a little.
My lovely SO is an absolutely TERRIBLE housekeeper. No amount of extra work by me can keep up with the disaster area that she & the kids leave in their wake.
My Mom literally can't come over
@compunaut Oh... I lived that life. I feel for ya. The SO, her two teenage sons and pre-teen daughter.
But at least she was a terrible cook too!
No. Not even. Don't go there. Please.
When my mother was alive, she lived 300 miles away so would visit once a year and I'd know when she was coming. There was a total cleaning then. I even washed the walls. In between times, not so much. Of course my son blew it when he told her the only time I cleaned the oven was when she was coming. Snotty kid!
We had a constant presence of multiple animals while growing up, so it takes very little effort to keep my place better than what I was raised in. Her place now, however, is far better than mine. So, I guess it's really a draw.
I couldn't care less about my mothers thoughts on the subject. I grew up on a farm, and my mother was a horrible housekeeper. She came to live near me when she retired and my husband noted she lived like a hobbit. In fact more than once she's been referred to as grandma bilbo baggins. Now she lives with me as she can't live by herself after medical issues. I have a people who come in to help with the house, and assist with grandma bilbo. The house is very clean compared to how she raised me. Cluttered some, but clean most of the time. One day she said, to one of her visitors (in a very judgemental tone) --- I didn't raise my daughter to live like this. My husband heard it too, and thought my head was going to pop off. The next day I took her to the nasty urine scented nursing home across town, and told her, if the accommodations I am providing aren't down to her standards, arrangements could be made. Her apologies soon followed.
The solution is to not have your mom know where you live to avoid the possibility of judgment. There is potential for guilty feelings to develop but if you have already established yourself as a horrible and ungrateful child, this emotion should not be new and likely will dissipate in short time.
@elimanningface
I have a really quite clean and orderly friend (even clean and orderly in college). But his Mom is white-glove clean. He is one of those people who is always calm no matter what.
During the 20 years he had an apartment, he never allowed her in, after the first year - they lived near each other. He wouldnt even let her in to use the bathroom.
Every time she confronted him, he politely explained that he didnt dust very often, and she would be upset, and it was best to avoid conflict.
Mom was a pretty calm sort herself, not hysterical, tho she didnt like it. Since he was in all other ways a model son, she accepted it. She knew he wasnt hiding horrible vices.
Now he's married, his wife loves housekeeping, and his Mom is happy she can visit in his house.
Between working two jobs, and going to two schools, I never have time to clean.
Since I work swing shifts and really don't give a flying fudge bucket what anybody thinks about my house while I'm working, my mom channeled her innate awesomeness and bought me a house cleaning service certificate.
I'm pretty sure whatever was in the laundry room ate them, but my living room never looked better.
My mom made the 2011 version of RIP. I would give anything to have her around to disapprove of my housecleaning skills.
I'M WORKING ON IT.
@PocketBrain
I'm not working on it. Perhaps soon, who knows?
does she approve of my cleaning? HELL NO! I Don't even approve of it! I'm just too lazy to do anything about it....
Will it wipe my butt? Invent that, iRobot!
My house is cleaner than the one I grew up in (except for the bedroom, which we don't allow anyone in), and my mom still finds reasons to tell me how messy it is. My mother-in-law will come over to see the kids, and has nothing to say of my house (even though her house is always clean).
I hate cleaning, so I just pay someone else to do it for me. My mom would probably approve.
I would give anything if my mom were able to come to my house and tell me to straighten up and get my act together.
@Barney we are sorry you've had such a hard time recently. Hang in there. If it helps: "clean that room, we raised you better."
@mollama Aww... Thanks Mom! (Can I do it later?)