Worst IRK ever
36That’s right. It’s so bad I opted to create a post rather than add to the reveal thread.
My track record snagging IRKs over the past year has been (nearly) flawless. I know regret, and meh has delivered each and every single time.
But this latest one, well, meh let me down. Hugely.
There is nothing. NOTHING. That I regret in this kit. More like a NRK. A ZRK even.
I didn’t get a single women’s beauty product that I can’t use. No poo-porri. Not a single broken electronic. Or silver polish. Or USB B cable. Not even a Trackr. meh, you’re slipping, and I’m not sure I want to carry on with my VMP if you’re going to go to this sort of dishonest, fake, product marketing. It just won’t stand.
Let’s review:
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Storage Containers: I can send people home with these or leave them at friends house, this is useful!
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An RC “drone”: My stockpile was nearly depleted, this makes a good stocking stuffer / “take this and go away kid, the adults are talking” gifts. Useful!!
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Under-Bed Lights: I have my own that I built years ago with rope lights (bought on meh), but my girlfriend doesn’t at her apartment. USEFUL!!
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Grill Mitt: I have a smoker that this will be super useful for, damnit! ALSO USEFUL!!
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And a purple IRK bag: People (@barney) on meh LIKE purple a lot, and it’s a really nice purple! And these bags are handy for groceries and what-not. USFEUL!@#!!
So, to summarize: You gave me a bunch of useful shit and I don’t regret any part of it. For shame.
- 18 comments, 47 replies
- Comment
Five shame, at least. I’ve checked the numbers.
Clickbait.
@riskybryzness You don’t know me! my indignation is real
@mrchristian
@mrchristian Do the storage containers have all the lids?
@riskybryzness Yes, damnit. First thing I checked. Only hope now is that the lights don’t work.
I have closet in the guest room overflowing with shit from IRKs that I use as “filler” when I send packages. I can’t use any of this for that purpose.
@riskybryzness
Isn’t that, like, the whole premise of Meh?
@mrchristian @riskybryzness
Your gift closet is way fuller than mine, but I donated a bunch of stuff just recently and emptied out that too. You got some nice stuff in there.
@Star2236 someday someone is going to need Flitt Drone parts and I’ll be prepared.
@mrchristian OH MY GOD YOU HAVE THE GUM!
@ShotgunX I have so much of the gum. The mango flavor is actually pretty decent.
Until it’s not.
@mrchristian Wanna do an 80s action movie-style underpass drug deal for it? I will cut open one of the boxes with a switchblade to sample the goods, accuse you of trying to cheat me, and then we will have a nice big shootout with our men. Come on, what do ya say?
@ybmuG We try to be more click and less bait.
@mrchristian @riskybryzness My daughter was in from out of town and my other daughter and my niece was over visiting so I drug out boxes of crap, I mean IRKs and it was Christmas in August! There were speaker docks, wireless headphones, soap dispensers and stuff I can’t remember! It was a quick way to clean out a closet and put smiles on faces!
How about the box itself? Was that regretful?
/image cat box
@narfcake Alas, no. Although my cat is broken and has zero interest in boxes. Or paper bags.
But I use the endless supply of cardboard boxes as trash receptacles, so still no regrets there either. I just can’t lose to win here.
@mrchristian @narfcake you can also compost cardboard. Counts towards the brown compost in your compost pile.
@OnionSoup while I don’t have a compost pile, that’s some solid advice! Not as eco-awesome, but I feel slightly better using the boxes since it reduces the number of plastic bags I use.
POKER! JOKER! NOT MEDIOCRE! AWESOME!
Not sure whether you are bragging or complaining.
@Felton10
/image maybe both
@mrchristian… the powers of regret are growing stronger day by day… So I warn you that provocation of their inability to issue proper regret might just be what causes them to release their steely gaze and finally lift the curse of corrugate, bubble wrap and balls that has plagued @Felton10 and left him all but begging for the regret to cease being so instant and frequent… We have all witnessed the shadows that have been cast as their powers have grown spreading their special brand of instantaneous regret… But unlike The Eye of Sauron there is no ring to destroy to stop them… No, there is no stopping them… the only thing that might save you… or really save us all… is the laughably short attention spans and memories of their minions.
@Koolhandjoe
/giphy terror horror
@Koolhandjoe
/giphy flabby savory scout
@mrchristian
The powers of regret wanted me to relay a message…
@Koolhandjoe bwahahah, I foresee very real regret in my future
@Koolhandjoe I didn’t get an IRK this time so you won’t have my balls to kick around this time.
@Felton10 Well sometimes absence makes the IRK grow fonder
@Koolhandjoe So now @Felton10 joins the ranks of the mere millions of minions of those of us with no irks. I think it irks @Felton10 that he didn’t get an irk this time around.
@Kidsandliz @Koolhandjoe Yes-it did IRK me for several reasons. I was on a roll with being the goat for March and my balls have never gotten more attention than they have in the past two weeks. And especially with KHJ coming up with all sorts of new and offensive items, there will be no possibility that he might include one in an IRK if I am not due one-out of sight, out of mind and all that.
@Felton10 Listen you could buy one of his creations when he restocks his store. Sure it would cost more, but then you could buy one that you really, really like. I am sure @Koolhandjoe will pack it in bubble wrap when he sends it.
I’d just settle for an irk, never mind getting all the cool stuff you have gotten repeatedly (grin). With latency times of 160-180 on a regular basis and no way to change internet providers due to where I live, I am now mostly out of luck (with 50-100 of them) as my page takes longer to load than the irk is for sale. Add to that streetlights and poof! They’re gone. Consider yourself lucky to get as many as you are getting now that they no longer sell them in lots of 500-1000 at a time.
@Kidsandliz I went to his website and he only had two things listed there. My wife finds his artist ability interesting for sure, but not sure she would display it in our home. Have purchased a few other things that might not be everyone’s cup of tea-TV memorabilia from some old TV shows-I Dream of Jeannie, ALF, and the Twilight Zone and some from recent shows-the Americans and Dexter-the later are displayed on my office wall, the former are still in boxes.
@Felton10 Well he is busy rebuilding his inventory when he used it all up on the joe-a-thon. Some post somewhere he said it would take a couple of months.
@Kidsandliz I guess I really can’t complain given that I’ve gotten over 20 IRKs, arguably one of the best IRKs ever with the Xbox and such personal attention but the fact that my standards have been set so high its doubtful that anything I get in the future with beat what I have gotten in the past.
@Felton10 highly doubtful??? LOL. There isn’t much that can top a new x-box (grin). Now you will have high level regret from here on out. As I said welcome to the peon club.
@Kidsandliz At least with the Xbox, I have been given a free pass for life from my wife to try to get more IRKs even though my son got the xbox and I didn’t benefit financially from it.
@Kidsandliz Based on what I’ve seen that people have gotten from the April 28th IRK, I didn’t miss out on anything. I’m sure you saw I did by a KHJ original from his website-should be arriving tomorrow.
Meanwhile with tax season winding down, just sitting here at my desk doing returns and playing with my “balls”. (Couldn’t resist getting one more joke out of that).
Betting the drone won’t charge. Have had multiple that were DOA. Unless you are better than I at trying to fix whatever it is that won’t charge.
@raccoon81 Hmm, that’s a good point. I’ll probably never know since I just
make them someone else’s problemgift themAll this IRK talk makes me envious as I have never snagged one (or a BOC either). What’s the secret to securing the illusive IRK?
@screechowl
fast reflexes and blind luck
either that or ink
@Cerridwyn @screechowl Also single-minded, unwavering commitment past the point of sanity. And fast internet.
@screechowl
IRK is real; I have scored a few.
@PocketBrain @screechowl
(Instant) “Regrets . . .
I have a few . . .
but then again . . . too few to mention.”
@Kyeh
ISWYDT!
The power of the double negative…
Like I needed to know that I missed out on getting the elusive purple IRK bag. Been waiting for the purple one since the beginning.
You got an Immediate Re-gift Kit.
@rogerbacon that’s…genius!
@mrchristian… I hope you are prepared for the regret that is now headed your way… the powers of regret did not forget the challenge you presented
@Koolhandjoe bwahahah… I see three identical packages heading my way. I can’t wait to find a use for 3 pounds of broken drone parts.
@mrchristian
/giphy popcorn in the face
Is there a prize for most regrettable IRK ever? I got a irk bag and a little box of candy. I don’t even know how to feel.
@housepage916 you mean like when the team with the worst record gets first pick in the draft? You automatically get IRK#1 in the next mehrathon.
@ybmuG sweet then I await my prize on the edge of my seat
@housepage916
/giphy on the edge of my seat
WOW, I thought my last two were really bad, cheap and not worth the $$ until this one came! Hint, the box the socks came in, was worth more than the socks I received.
I have real, actual regret. I will properly share the epic regret kit shortly, but here is a taste
@mrchristian
@mrchristian we are all curious… WHAT’S IN THE BOX…ES???
My latest IRK was literally a Roomba. No matter how hard I try, I just can’t regret this one. It did come with a TrackR too, though.
I scored another one yesterday and am hoping for some of the old-fashioned regret I’m more accustomed to.
Turns out, the candy which I got in my IRK (and which made up half the IRK), was LONG past its best by date.
So don’t worry, any regret which you didn’t have, was IMMEDIATELY felt by me.
You’re welcome.
@FreePasta Mine too. Still pretty tasty.
Having actually purchased more clawz than were in that shipment I can only appreciate how cool that would have been…it’s like a pasta drop, but of polarizing youth clogs. (My other half is in medical school and she gets some great reactions to her clawz).