Who am I?
5We’ve had threads of “Who are you” before (I even started one of them). This one is different. What I want to know is how much ya’ll know about me.
I will be awarding meaningless points for answers. Answers with links to posts are worth more. Extrapolations from posts are worth more (if correct).
Information must come from my public posts. People that use their direct database access to look me up are not allowed to play, but they can be score keepers.
I plan on keeping this up all month and my posts may reveal more information about me.
- 12 comments, 22 replies
- Comment
You are jst1ofknd.
@brandom
I am! 1,000 points for being the first.
I should also say that in addition to being meaningless, they are also arbitrary.
I’m still salty over how I got screwed in that video post game.
I know you are a spotty scorer.
@therealjrn
That’s the arbitrary part kicking in.
/giphy salty
You’re Jean Valjean…?
@shahnm
Nope.
/google Jean Valjean
Jean Valjean - Wikipedia
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jean_Valjean
@shahnm
/youtube snl who am I lobster
@medz @shahnm
500 points just for being funny. That was great, but I am not a lobster.
/giphy not a lobster
/youtube blondie call me live
@f00l
Great song, but is that supposed to be me?
@f00l @jst1ofknd She knows who you are (first verse, just :26 in)
@compunaut @f00l
Yep. She knows who I am, but you don’t.
You are Number Six.
You want this shirt (or maybe you’re wearing it now):
/wootstalker https://shirt.woot.com/offers/not-so-action-packed
Not-So Action Packed
Price: $19.00
Condition: Probably New
@djslack
I am indifferent to the shirt. It is too vibrant to be truly meh.
Who are you? Well, that’s a tough question, but I’ll do my best to give an accurate answer.
You were born in the late 70s to poor farming parents, Elwood and Mildred. Growing up in Kansas, you spent your time in the barn playing on your dad’s crop duster. You dreamed of a day when you could fly away and leave Kansas behind.
By the time you were 12, you had farmed more corn than you could measure and decided it was time to move on. You packed up your dufflebag and headed out, thumbs up on the highway and hitched a ride to Nashville. Once there, you found a job in a Chinese restaurant washing dishes. You spent you free time over the next 2 years learning to play the guitar and singing the blues.
At age 14, you performed in Opryland with Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton, where you received mixed reviews from critics. Some said that you would be the next Hank Williams, while others said you’d be the next Hank Williams III. The attention had taken a toll on you and the stress pushed you into a drinking binge for the next several months. By the end of the year, ole Dolly and Kenny kicked you out of the trio.
You spent the next several years performing at local bars in exchange for booze. On nights that other artists performed, you washed dishes to earn some extra cash and to pay for your drinks. You recall being sober once during all that time and in a moment of clarity, you recalled dreaming to be a pilot.
A few months later, when you were finally old enough, you applied for the Air Force. You wanted to see the world. While you didn’t have the aptitude to be a pilot, you found a job in the Air Force that suited you perfectly: Kitchen Patrol. You washed dishes. And you liked it. After 14 years of dishwashing, the Air Force had to cut your job title due to cut backs.
With 14 years of military experience under your belt, you moved on to a vast world of opportunities. You started the old job hunt, but finding gainful employment was more difficult than you thought it would be. You applied to several places, but not many people wanted to hire a dishwashing, guitar playing alcoholic. However, you finally persevered. After applying at hundreds of businesses…
Wait, before I continue, am I on the right track? I’d hate to write the other 34 pages to find that I had the wrong guy.
@capguncowboy
Um… You started out real strong. I was born in the late 70s… Everything else, not so much.
You are unknowable. Or maybe just unk now able.
@TheFLP
Able to unk… Hmmm…
/define unk
No exact matches found for the specified word.
@jst1ofknd
@jst1ofknd @TheFLP
Unkempt family zinc finger might be a good band name. Or maybe just the zinc finger no one wants to be around (everybody loves the kempt zinc finger!)
@jst1ofknd @TheFLP @thejackalope I do believe I saw unkempt family zinc finger open for the polyphonic spree once.
I’m going to ask questions. The answers are in this forum.
Where do I live?
What do I do for a living?
How old am I?
@jst1ofknd Oklahoma City, something to do with computers, and 40
@jst1ofknd You live in Nashville. You work as a dishwasher. You are around 40 years old.
@msklzannie
3,000 points for the three correct answers!
@capguncowboy
1,000 points for 1 correct answer.