@ThomasF Well, since culturally we can now only say things other than that which is objectively true, and because societally we have no remaining vestige of shame or propriety, “fucking” is more socially acceptable than “making love”.
Thank you for your inquiry,
The Ministry of Abstinence
What’s wrong with just “having sex”? I haven’t needed to use euphemisms for sex since I was old enough to have sex. Although, fucking works, too. I mean, that’s all it really was back then anyway.
@PurplePawprints This quiz made me realize I don’t use any euphemisms for having sex. It could just be that my husband can be pretty oblivious sometimes, the result being me having to hold up a piece of paper that says, “Sex?”
Kick the cat out. This requires a bit of explanation, for the first 16 years of marriage, our bed was only for us, no pets, no children, just us. Last year, we had to put one of our cats to sleep. Those cats were brother/sister 15 years old, had never spent a night apart. The remaining sister decided if she can’t sleep with her brother, that we would have to do. So now we share the bed with the cat. Which is awkward. Now when we’re testing the waters, we’ll ask, “Do you want to kick the cat out?” It’s our favorite current euphemism.
Netflix and chill. It wasn’t until after I had a date with a girl from OK Cupid I realized there would be no The End Of The F-ing World, Black Mirror, or Everything Sucks involved in this date (though she did have “sucking” on her mind). Before that I thought it meant actually watching Netflix.
In the Sims series, it’s woohoo. The lotto machine’s proclamation upon scanning a winning ticket therefore sometimes strikes me funny… “you’re a winner, woohoo!”
@RiotDemon When it played on the radio back in 1999 I always laughed because nothing was censored. Good old 89X in Detroit/Windsor. No clue why they would censor it now.
@redjeep0 The video does make the song that much better. Every once and a while I let it play on my computer with the sound off because my wife thinks the video is stupid and our desks at home are right next to each other. Then when she sits down I send a text asking if she wants to do it like the do on the discovery channel and she always says yes. Not the classiest pick up line, but it works.
@bleedmichigan it’s pretty common on older videos to censor weird shit. I remember watching a Fuel video, Jesus or a Gun, where they censor the word gun.
Flipping the mattress - as in my wife will say, “hey sweetie, can you come help me flip the mattress?” Someday our kids are going to wonder why we needed to flip our mattress so much.
Not about which euphemism I prefer but here is a song that is just full of euphemisms. It seemed like a great time to post this. I feel the pictures really make this great Bob and Tom song work.
Sexy time.
Where the fucking fuck is fucking, ya fucks?
@shahnm
@Thumperchick Fuckin’ A, Baby!
@shahnm @Thumperchick great movie
@shahnm the word “fucking” and all variants of it long ago morphed into “punctuation”.
@shahnm
/youtube brian blessed the queen
@ragingredd @shahnm
@shahnm Don’t know if it counts as a euphemism
@ThomasF Well, since culturally we can now only say things other than that which is objectively true, and because societally we have no remaining vestige of shame or propriety, “fucking” is more socially acceptable than “making love”.
Thank you for your inquiry,
The Ministry of Abstinence
Horizontal Shuffle
@Nuclearfuzzbomb
/youtube Horizontal Bop
@Nuclearfuzzbomb I prefer “horizontal mambo” for that family. It just rolls better, what with the slant rhyme.
@Nuclearfuzzbomb Horizontal Hokey-Pokey
What’s wrong with just “having sex”? I haven’t needed to use euphemisms for sex since I was old enough to have sex. Although, fucking works, too. I mean, that’s all it really was back then anyway.
@PurplePawprints This quiz made me realize I don’t use any euphemisms for having sex. It could just be that my husband can be pretty oblivious sometimes, the result being me having to hold up a piece of paper that says, “Sex?”
@primrosewater @PurplePawprints Do you have a “sarcasm” sign as well?
@Durago I don’t, but I should. Maybe I should use one-word signs as my primary way of communicating…
Big fan of the ol’ ‘beast with two backs’… the Bard at his most poetic…
I also enjoy “porking,” as used liberally in the “Honest Trailers” by Screen Junkies. e.g. (@2:30)
“Taking the bald-headed gnome for a stroll in the misty forest.”
@awk
friggin hilarious
Smooshing lol
“Surfing on Mount Baldy”
I can’t decide on the first “Getting it on” or the second “Getting it on”!
@benj
/giphy so nice, we did it twice
@benj Mysteriously, a majority of the “Getting it on” voters seem to prefer the first one.
@benj @shahnm The second one can last longer.
While I generally use “have sex” I must note that “bumping uglies” is missing from the poll.
I don’t talk about such things in my world.
@hchavers what about in yer head?
/youtube Makin’ Whoopee
@2many2no
For the record, that’s a Whooping Crane.
Boinking, or Pouring the Pork
Making Fuck.
@Pony
Berserker!
@Pony LIKE A TRUCK
“No-pants dance.”
Kick the cat out. This requires a bit of explanation, for the first 16 years of marriage, our bed was only for us, no pets, no children, just us. Last year, we had to put one of our cats to sleep. Those cats were brother/sister 15 years old, had never spent a night apart. The remaining sister decided if she can’t sleep with her brother, that we would have to do. So now we share the bed with the cat. Which is awkward. Now when we’re testing the waters, we’ll ask, “Do you want to kick the cat out?” It’s our favorite current euphemism.
Scrumping
Mama and Daddy are watching a movie
“The ol’ whistle”
@tyxnight The wistle is supposed to be in asterisks, because you don’t say it, you have to actually…ya know what, never mind.
fuck
Netflix and chill. It wasn’t until after I had a date with a girl from OK Cupid I realized there would be no The End Of The F-ing World, Black Mirror, or Everything Sucks involved in this date (though she did have “sucking” on her mind). Before that I thought it meant actually watching Netflix.
In the Sims series, it’s woohoo. The lotto machine’s proclamation upon scanning a winning ticket therefore sometimes strikes me funny… “you’re a winner, woohoo!”
The pigskin bus pulling into tuna town…
Call me old fashion but I just say human mating.
Porking.
<mic drop>
Smashing pissers
Going for “A roll in the hay” use to be popular.
Playing house.
Hip-to-hip, going hip-to-hip.
@PocketBrain Maybe I understand this slightly better now. It could be chock full of euphemism.
How Meh left this out and how no one has yet to bring it up astounds me almost as much as the fact that this played on the radio unedited in 1999
@bleedmichigan you know, sometimes I kind of miss that weird late 90’s/early 00’s music scene… but maybe it’s best left in the past after all.
@bleedmichigan why do they censor doggy style? Lol. This is what I find more odd about older songs on YouTube.
@bleedmichigan this video is hilarious. I’d heard the song but never seen the vid before. capturing the midget mime with a net made me lose it.
@RiotDemon When it played on the radio back in 1999 I always laughed because nothing was censored. Good old 89X in Detroit/Windsor. No clue why they would censor it now.
@redjeep0 The video does make the song that much better. Every once and a while I let it play on my computer with the sound off because my wife thinks the video is stupid and our desks at home are right next to each other. Then when she sits down I send a text asking if she wants to do it like the do on the discovery channel and she always says yes. Not the classiest pick up line, but it works.
@bleedmichigan it’s pretty common on older videos to censor weird shit. I remember watching a Fuel video, Jesus or a Gun, where they censor the word gun.
/youtube fuel Jesus or a Gun
@bleedmichigan I always preferred this version:
A little bit of the old in-and-out.
Horrorshow, my droogies.
I like the one Judge John Hodgman uses: “Hug and Kiss.”
It all depends on the context…
Hiding the sausage
I just wish I had more sausage to hide
Schtumping
Fond memories of a little lady who would tell me she wanted to jump my bones.
@brhfl they need more negotiations. Two minutes of business time is not enough.
Nic-nic (Latka Gravas)
The standard around here seems to be “You wanna do stuff?”
sigh. “Wanna make a hunnred bucks?”
Flipping the mattress - as in my wife will say, “hey sweetie, can you come help me flip the mattress?” Someday our kids are going to wonder why we needed to flip our mattress so much.
/giphy ride the bologna pony
/giphy gratin’ the cheese
“Coloring”. It has led to my wife & I receiving a number of coloring books and crayons over the years from friends.
/giphy coloring
Wow - umm, yeah, kinda like that I guess.
@chuegen
Yiffing. Google and thank me later.
@PooltoyWolf username checks out.
@Ignorant You know it
Not about which euphemism I prefer but here is a song that is just full of euphemisms. It seemed like a great time to post this. I feel the pictures really make this great Bob and Tom song work.
Mommy and daddy time.
bow-chicka-bow-wow
@earlyre brown chicken brown cow!
“So Uh, you know”
What, no Pat McCurdy fans here?
It would have to be “It”