I do exactly the same thing and just can’t seem to communicate the concept. I buy my stuff, she buys her stuff, then we wrap each other’s stuff and give it to each other! What could be simpler?
@mflassy One man’s junk is another man’s valuable stuff. I have little doubt the Kiwanis market will sell the items quickly and put the proceeds to good use.
@ruouttaurmind - for the last 2 years I’ve asked my family to make donations to our local animal shelter as a gift. I have everything I need or pretty much want.
No, just rewarding! Knowing “stuff” will serve a purpose rather than simply getting a giggle when a box is unwrapped, then going into storage, waiting for the next sucker to receive.
@mflassy I will freely acknowledge I do not know how you disposition stuff. In my world it is useful to maintain some variety of bits on hand. I get so much crap from the casinos, if I didn’t regularly clear out the old stock a few times a year I’d quickly be buried in housewares, appliances, electronics, t-shirts, gewgaws… Yesterday alone I picked up a countertop convection oven, stoneware serving set, Nike sunglasses, 2 shirts, and a hat.
@mflassy Lots of stuff from meh, and the meh variety from other sources, drones, radios (AM/FM, SW, FRS, weather receivers, etc) surveillance cameras, computer bits, printers and scanners, mouses and keyboards… one of my spare bedrooms is half full of stuff, all NIB stacked neatly from floor to eye level, somewhat organized by categories so I can quickly locate a forgotten birthday gift, replacement item for someone whose lost or broken something, or clean out old stock for Goodwill, animal rescue or Kiwanis.
Do you do a lot of promo printing and other promo for casinos?
Why do the casinos and other biz give you all this stuff?
When you start describing the electronics, esp the radio stuff, I’m glad I’m not around there to be tempted to try to persuade you to give me stuff I wanna keep, only I will never ever use any of it.
Why do the casinos and other biz give you all this stuff?
TL;DR? I manipulate the casino rewards systems for free slot play, travel, and gifts.
Where I live, there are 5 different tribal organizations with 8 different casinos, all within 45 minutes or less from my home. The closest is about 15 minutes from the house.
Of course the free market rule tells us when there is a large supply, there is competition. In this case, the casinos compete for customers via promotional offers. Usually it starts with “Join our player’s club and receive $XX in free slot machine play”. XX is usually $15 or $20. Once you get the initial free play and they cap you on their mailing list, they begin to send offers like more free play, little gifts like tshirts or kitchen utensil sets.
However, the more you visit, the more you play at the casino, the better the offers get. But… how to do this without spending actual money? My own hard-earned dosh? Well, with their money, of course. The free slot play. I learned quite some time ago how to manipulate the system. Giving away my own money was never an option. It would make me too sad.
So I learned how to play video poker. If one plays a simple strategy schedule while playing Jacks or Better video poker, it’s pretty easy to net back over 99% return on your wagers. Of course this is over a period of time.
If a casino offers $20 in free slot play, and you play a $0.05 machine you would theoretically wager hundreds of dollars before that initial $20, THEIR $20 is gone.
The more you play at these casinos, they higher the value of their free play offer, and the greater the value of the “gifts” they give. Eventually the free play amount can become significant, and the value of the gifts makes it worth taking home. Currently two casinos offer me $100 per week in free slot play. In addition, one of those casinos offers a $100 weekly dining credit, while the other offers a $60 weekly dining credit.
The list of stuff I picked up this weekend was from five different casinos. I made an adventure out of it (as I usually do) starting early on Saturday morning, and visiting each casino in an optimized loop. First stop I had a free breakfast buffet, $45 in free slot play and a tshirt. Second stop was $100 in slot play and a countertop convection oven. I used some of my free food credit there to buy bottles of soft drinks to take home. And so on and so on. I play the free play at each casino, being careful to play back in a considerable amount so the offers keep coming.
Occasionally I’ll luck out and hit a random jackpot, or royal straight flush which can have a significant payout depending on the coin value. Even a nickle machine pays foldin’ money for a royal straight flush. In the event I happen to hit decent money, I’ll take at least half the jackpot home. A few times I had serious payouts ($3500, $4200, and once $7900). On those days I took the payout and ran like a thief, driving directly to the bank, laughing all the way.
Among the free gifts I receive: Currently I have three different offers for cruises (two on Carnival and one Norwegian), dozens of free hotel stays in any Caesar’s property around the globe (including one $750 airfare credit and four night premium suite) and essentially unlimited hotel stays in any of the local casino hotels. Medium size televisions, so much kitchenware I could open a housewares outlet, appliances out the wazoo. Right now I have at least five or six rice cookers and probably twice as many toasters and coffee makers. For some reason rice cookers, toasters and coffee makers seem to be a casino gift favorite. Stacks and stacks of crapware like BBQ tool sets, plastic kitchenware, picnic sets, his-n-hers chinese watches, tool sets, flashlights…
But I also get the occasional decent item. Last year I got a iPod, a Dyson fan and Maui Jim sunglasses. The year before I got an iPad Air 2 and a super-premium pair of Nikon binocs. Earlier this fall I got a Citizen watch (sold on eBay for $130) and a 55" Toshiba TV.
For me, it’s all about the sport. It’s a hobby. And unlike my other hobbies, it doesn’t cost me anything more than my time and the gas I spend driving to these places. My buddy accompanies me on these adventures sometimes (for the free food! LOL!) and frequently asks “How can they afford to do this??? I mean, they just PAY you to visit!” Well, the truth is, most people do not have the discipline to walk out when the free money is all gone, and even fewer have the commitment to work a video slot for a few hours, striving for that perfect ROI percentage. It requires attention and presence. For me, it’s relaxing, for some it can be boring. I usually find a machine near the bar, order a cup of coffee, sit back and listen to the band, or maybe an audio book while I manipulate the poker machine. It’s something many people wouldn’t enjoy. For me, it blocks out all the other nonsense I have to think about every other minute of my life. It forces me to suspend all that and focus on the cards.
@f00l The theoretical payout for video poker is directly related to the pay table for any given machine. You can check an identical machine in two different casinos and it can have different pay tables (chart specifying how much you win for each hand). But even the lesser desirable pay tables in US casinos should net at least 98% or more. Then the trick is learning that casino’s rewards system. There’s a threshold, a level of wagering, which determines which offers you will receive. You need to become aware of how much of their money to play back in to ensure the continuation of the offers.
@mflassy, as I mentioned, many would find it boring and just wouldn’t get any joy from it. For me, the joy comes from the relaxation of the play, the free food (too bad I’m not a drinker 'cause that’s free too!) and the fun of collecting these offers. It’s not for everyone, but for me it’s sport.
BTW I can see enjoying that. And the free food, which I assume kicks ass.
The game of it. The time out the house, outta town, and outta one’s usual headspace.
The audiobooks/podcasts is a really nice touch. How do you keep your phone charged up while playing?
I have a similar “huh” attitude to the addictions of casinos, I think. They one time I was in one, I took $200 to the blackjack table, as a curiosity. I was willing to lose that much. I got lucky, hit $400 in winnings (my pre-chosen amount), was done, and finally accepted a my first and only free drink, as I walked out of the permanent 2am vibe of the gambling floor.
I think what might brother me in the long run might be the corporate drone-iness and corporate-atmosphere of it all.
You have beaten and are beating their game. But in exchange you commit much free time to do it.
One could … I dunno … Read more immersively. Hike. Just drive into all that wonderful Four Corners space. Write. Be with a more personalized hobby or commitment, or with a person, or with a different set of objectives.
Do these, or other alternatives, ever call to you?
Do you sometimes feel, having proven that you can easily win this game, that you wanna break away?
/giphy "breaking away"
I might start to think that, even if I were obviously “winning”;
as long as they own the turf, it’s still kinda “their game” I would be playing.
The audiobooks/podcasts is a really nice touch. How do you keep your phone charged up while playing?
I have no problem getting several hours of Audible playback from my phone. Also, if I’m casino hopping, I can get a quick top-up in the car on the way to the next stop. Finally, some of the newer machines are actually equipped with USB charging ports specifically for this purpose.
I think what might brother me in the long run might be the corporate drone-iness and corporate-atmosphere of it all.
Surprisingly, many of the casinos I visit are not as antiseptic as one might expect. I have gotten to know several of the cocktail servers (I drink a LOT of coffee in these places; why are they always so COLD???) and most of the slot floor attendants and security folks. Most make an effort to stop by and chat for a minute or two while I’m playing. When I take a break from gaming, I can expect to be greeted by name in most of the restaurants, and again, much of the staff will stop by and visit for a minute. Not in a “37 pieces of flair” corporate drone sort of way, but in a “just people chatting with people sort of way”. Acquaintances.
Read more immersively. Hike. Just drive into all that wonderful Four Corners space. Write. Be with a more personalized hobby or commitment,
I have no shortage of hobbies in which I actively engage. But I understand your point.
or with a person
But I’m antisocial. Being with a person would require being social, wouldn’t it? Besides, video poker I can count on. People just disappoint.
Do you sometimes feel, having proven that you can easily win this game, that you wanna break away?
It comes and goes. Over the years that I’ve been working the system I have let the offers go dormant a few times. It’s a bit of an effort to jump start them again after too much inactivity, but I’ve been able to determine a sort of minimum maintenance level from which it’s less laborsome to get the better offers rolling again.
or with a person,
It’s absolutely conceivable I could one day shed my bitterness and begin to long for the companionship of a mate. But today isn’t that day. Tomorrow doesn’t look that great either.
Besides, video poker I can count on. People just disappoint.
It’s absolutely conceivable I could one day shed my bitterness and begin to long for the companionship of a mate. But today isn’t that day. Tomorrow doesn’t look that great either.
I didn’t have a “significant other”, necessary, in mind when I suggested time with a person.
I spend something like 99%+ of my time alone, or in very brief work or personal encounters.
And I very much like it that way. I don’t usually wanna socialize up my week just to be with people, that often.
A few times a year? For holidays and other special efforts and visits, it’s nice.
But when I see people I care about, after a break of weeks or months, and we have these long rolling conversations, covering all sorts of stuff; that I value. More than I used to.
The world of connections I find to be of great personal value is larger, and quite different, than once it was.
I don’t use people and people-activities to “fill time”. Meetings and groups and scheduled activities and all that. No.
Never have. Like being alone. A lot.
But I’m perfectly willing to have a far better life, and a better “soul”, if you will, because I have these bonds, and I try to put far more into them than once I did.
@f00l She only loves one thing: sitting at her kitchen table while she chain smokes and tells me, repeatedly and in detail, about how her pet cows have personality, or whatever silly things the dogs did recently.
Whenever I go there I make sure I spend lots of time sitting with her… but I also make sure my honey-do list is well populated so I can take frequent breaks from the smoke cloud and get fresh air and some activity. Otherwise, after four days and three nights I’d be a little pickled. 🤪
And are they actually healthier for smokers and bystanders?
Not enough studies have been done. Supposedly you’re only inhaling water vapor… But the liquid is made with glycerin and flavorings, and nicotine if you want it. I’ve heard that it could be almost as dangerous… But time will tell.
Personally, it doesn’t really bother me if someone is vaping next to me, as long as the flavor smells nice. My partner does it and he always has these flavors that smell delicious.
This. When I do convince her to leave the house she won’t ride in my rental car. We have to take dad’s truck so she can continue smoking. The destination has to be quick errands like the bank or DMV or whatever so she won’t have to go long without a butt. Even grocery shopping has to be a quick trip to the Dollar General (about 15 or 20 miles away) because she’s won’t commit to a proper stock-up trip to Kroger or Walmart (60 miles away) because she can’t tolerate being inside the store for 45 minuets without a smoke.
I sent her one of those cigarette style vapor systems a couple years ago, with a large assortment of pre-charged cartridges in a variety of tobacco flavours and nic strengths. She tried it for a few weeks, but sent it back to me. She just couldn’t adapt.
As you probably recognize, in a number of years sitting with my chain smoking mother won’t be an option, and I don’t want to look back and question the time I didn’t get to spend with her because I chose not to be around her smoking.
As you probably recognize, in a number of years sitting with my chain smoking mother won’t be an option, and I don’t want to look back and question the time I didn’t get to spend with her because I chose not to be around her smoking.
I think you made the decision you had to make. But that’s tough.
If you had young kids, I think you might be forced into a different decision.
If I were in your position, I would discuss this with my physician, and would ask what I could do, if anything, to mitigate the personal risk to myself.
It’s tough esp because she loves you and cares deeply for you and has been really good to you, but then she does this. And won’t mitigate it or apologize or stop.
But her love for you is quite real.
So you sit with her, watching her death and your harm come close and closer.
Because your unacceptable other option is to not sit with her.
That must be painful in itself.
And the attachment to smoking in this instance outweighs her ability to care about your well-being. In this single area, I suppose.
Wow. I suppose she knows what’s coming and won’t look at it.
I suppose she knows she’s likely to be in serious medical care and smoking won’t be allowed. And she won’t look at that future.
If I were in your shoes … I might send the vapor supplies back to her. Ask her to keep them. And keep trying it once in a while. And go back and forth. And not to worry about failures. Just keep trying.
Maybe she wouldn’t. Maybe she would not like the suggestion.
Maybe she would try. Or maybe someday it would take.
Relationships are such fraught and personal things. No one can really see inside someone else’s.
My SIL was/is very close to her siblings. Her younger sister, an amazing teacher, smoked.
And got lung cancer in her late 40’s. And had the treatments and unfortunately got sicker and sicker.
And wouldn’t stop smoking. It used to cause my SIL such emotional and sometimes even physical pain (tension) to see her sister smoking as she was slowly dying.
They tried to talk about it a few times. There was huge resentment/anger and they stopped.
Near the end the teacher could not smoke, due to the medical environments. She got very angry about it. She wanted to smoke. The last pleasure left to her, she claimed.
My SIL would ask me
"What addiction is worth this? This ugliness? This prison? This physical and emotional poison?"
It was pretty hard to he around.
Sorry to go all grim here.
I hope you and your mom have many good paths to walk together left to you.
@f00l No, not. Real life is often unattractive or uncomfortable. I thank you for sharing, despite the discomfort of the situation. We all realize our own situations are not unique or unusual, but hearing from others helps to keep me grounded and present in my own situations. With Mom, it would be easier just to maintain a distant relationship. Emails, phone calls, cards for holidays. But one day I will certainly be in the position to look back and question if I did the right thing. And I don’t want the answer to be accompanied with regret. I went through that once, and I carry it with me always.
@RiotDemon My friend vapes, and he kept insisting that it was only water vapor. I told him that if I can smell it, and sometimes taste it, then it isn’t just water vapor. For it to have a smell, there must be particulates, and I am breathing them. Whether those particulates are safe or not is unproven, and I prefer not to be a test subject, thanks. But I also avoid incense, scented candles, scentsy products, etc. Artificial and heat disbursed scents tend to give me a headache and sometimes trigger my asthma.
@therealjrn - I don’t think I’ve ever had roast beef or goose at Christmas. I like the idea, but it’s the family tradition that the only holidays with meal variations are Easter and the Fourth of July.
My step-mom does all this for us and loved loves loves doing it. Or she acts like she loves it so well that I’ve always been fooled.
Including all comers, down to cousins and great-grandkids, can be 30-60 people. 30 minimum, over many decades.
She also works 50-80 hours a week running a business that is extremely busy over the holidays.
And she is not much inclined towards holiday martyrdom.
So the big things (turkey, dressing, gravy, rolls, a few veggie dishes, some pies) are always ordered from a restaurant/caterer. And they are always very tasty.
And then people bring the extras they feel like cooking.
(One family member is a professional chef. Yum.)
And no one is the designated servant/kitchen-slave of the day. That’s not needed. So we’re all pretty happy with this solution.
@f00l - It’s a good point that there’s a lot of organizing to a holiday meal not even counting the cooking. Actually I like cooking turkey and making gravy (and in all humility my gravy is highly regarded.) I’m not into doing all the decorating and seating arrangements, though.
With 365 gift choices, how could anyone not be ready for Christmas? And this is not even counting Mehathons. Yes, I am a cheap gift giver, but aren’t we all?
I’m hoping to finish up today! Ugh… still have too much. Personal situations put me way behind on getting started and now it’s getting down to the finish line.
I don’t buy all yr because most of my buying goes to younger people… if anything needs returning after Christmas, we’re pretty much screwed if I bought it back in July.
I still have to buy gift bags because the 20 from meh are useless.
@davea510 but… Princess Fiona!
@fuzzmanmatt ???
Just think of all the useless people in your life, and give. Generouslessly.
I buy myself whatever I want whenever I want. It makes it hard for my wife, so she’s mostly given up. Its nice.
I do exactly the same thing and just can’t seem to communicate the concept. I buy my stuff, she buys her stuff, then we wrap each other’s stuff and give it to each other! What could be simpler?
@aetris … I’d say you are risk of this
Not a pic from a Foscam Wifi camera, I assume?
Shop til the end of business on the 24th or the cash runs out. I love buying stuff for people.
@meh427 Because I want to maximize your joy, you can add me to your shopping list.
@ruouttaurmind
At least your present to me involves your giving
junkvaluable stuff to charity.@mflassy One man’s junk is another man’s valuable stuff. I have little doubt the Kiwanis market will sell the items quickly and put the proceeds to good use.
@ruouttaurmind
Now I know what to ask for next time.
@ruouttaurmind why not - too late to ship. You’ll get it after Christmas. Unless you want wifi security cameras.
@meh427 @ruouttaurmind
I heard that free stuff is being offered.
@mflassy certainly. I def at you to the shopping list.
@meh427, @mflassy can be bought off with a donation to your favourite local charity. 🤫
I’d like anything except that Thundercats dvd.
@ruouttaurmind - for the last 2 years I’ve asked my family to make donations to our local animal shelter as a gift. I have everything I need or pretty much want.
@ruouttaurmind
You make it sound like it’s easy to buy me off.
@meh427
Love this! WTG!
@mflassy
No, just rewarding! Knowing “stuff” will serve a purpose rather than simply getting a giggle when a box is unwrapped, then going into storage, waiting for the next sucker to receive.
@ruouttaurmind
If you think that I keep most of the stuff which I get from people, then I have news for you…
@mflassy I will freely acknowledge I do not know how you disposition stuff. In my world it is useful to maintain some variety of bits on hand. I get so much crap from the casinos, if I didn’t regularly clear out the old stock a few times a year I’d quickly be buried in housewares, appliances, electronics, t-shirts, gewgaws… Yesterday alone I picked up a countertop convection oven, stoneware serving set, Nike sunglasses, 2 shirts, and a hat.
@ruouttaurmind
What kind of electronics?
@mflassy Lots of stuff from meh, and the meh variety from other sources, drones, radios (AM/FM, SW, FRS, weather receivers, etc) surveillance cameras, computer bits, printers and scanners, mouses and keyboards… one of my spare bedrooms is half full of stuff, all NIB stacked neatly from floor to eye level, somewhat organized by categories so I can quickly locate a forgotten birthday gift, replacement item for someone whose lost or broken something, or clean out old stock for Goodwill, animal rescue or Kiwanis.
@ruouttaurmind
Do you do a lot of promo printing and other promo for casinos?
Why do the casinos and other biz give you all this stuff?
When you start describing the electronics, esp the radio stuff, I’m glad I’m not around there to be tempted to try to persuade you to give me stuff I wanna keep, only I will never ever use any of it.
@ruouttaurmind
Oh, thought you meant you had a room full of electronics which casinos gave you.
@f00l
TL;DR? I manipulate the casino rewards systems for free slot play, travel, and gifts.
Where I live, there are 5 different tribal organizations with 8 different casinos, all within 45 minutes or less from my home. The closest is about 15 minutes from the house.
Of course the free market rule tells us when there is a large supply, there is competition. In this case, the casinos compete for customers via promotional offers. Usually it starts with “Join our player’s club and receive $XX in free slot machine play”. XX is usually $15 or $20. Once you get the initial free play and they cap you on their mailing list, they begin to send offers like more free play, little gifts like tshirts or kitchen utensil sets.
However, the more you visit, the more you play at the casino, the better the offers get. But… how to do this without spending actual money? My own hard-earned dosh? Well, with their money, of course. The free slot play. I learned quite some time ago how to manipulate the system. Giving away my own money was never an option. It would make me too sad.
So I learned how to play video poker. If one plays a simple strategy schedule while playing Jacks or Better video poker, it’s pretty easy to net back over 99% return on your wagers. Of course this is over a period of time.
If a casino offers $20 in free slot play, and you play a $0.05 machine you would theoretically wager hundreds of dollars before that initial $20, THEIR $20 is gone.
The more you play at these casinos, they higher the value of their free play offer, and the greater the value of the “gifts” they give. Eventually the free play amount can become significant, and the value of the gifts makes it worth taking home. Currently two casinos offer me $100 per week in free slot play. In addition, one of those casinos offers a $100 weekly dining credit, while the other offers a $60 weekly dining credit.
The list of stuff I picked up this weekend was from five different casinos. I made an adventure out of it (as I usually do) starting early on Saturday morning, and visiting each casino in an optimized loop. First stop I had a free breakfast buffet, $45 in free slot play and a tshirt. Second stop was $100 in slot play and a countertop convection oven. I used some of my free food credit there to buy bottles of soft drinks to take home. And so on and so on. I play the free play at each casino, being careful to play back in a considerable amount so the offers keep coming.
Occasionally I’ll luck out and hit a random jackpot, or royal straight flush which can have a significant payout depending on the coin value. Even a nickle machine pays foldin’ money for a royal straight flush. In the event I happen to hit decent money, I’ll take at least half the jackpot home. A few times I had serious payouts ($3500, $4200, and once $7900). On those days I took the payout and ran like a thief, driving directly to the bank, laughing all the way.
Among the free gifts I receive: Currently I have three different offers for cruises (two on Carnival and one Norwegian), dozens of free hotel stays in any Caesar’s property around the globe (including one $750 airfare credit and four night premium suite) and essentially unlimited hotel stays in any of the local casino hotels. Medium size televisions, so much kitchenware I could open a housewares outlet, appliances out the wazoo. Right now I have at least five or six rice cookers and probably twice as many toasters and coffee makers. For some reason rice cookers, toasters and coffee makers seem to be a casino gift favorite. Stacks and stacks of crapware like BBQ tool sets, plastic kitchenware, picnic sets, his-n-hers chinese watches, tool sets, flashlights…
But I also get the occasional decent item. Last year I got a iPod, a Dyson fan and Maui Jim sunglasses. The year before I got an iPad Air 2 and a super-premium pair of Nikon binocs. Earlier this fall I got a Citizen watch (sold on eBay for $130) and a 55" Toshiba TV.
For me, it’s all about the sport. It’s a hobby. And unlike my other hobbies, it doesn’t cost me anything more than my time and the gas I spend driving to these places. My buddy accompanies me on these adventures sometimes (for the free food! LOL!) and frequently asks “How can they afford to do this??? I mean, they just PAY you to visit!” Well, the truth is, most people do not have the discipline to walk out when the free money is all gone, and even fewer have the commitment to work a video slot for a few hours, striving for that perfect ROI percentage. It requires attention and presence. For me, it’s relaxing, for some it can be boring. I usually find a machine near the bar, order a cup of coffee, sit back and listen to the band, or maybe an audio book while I manipulate the poker machine. It’s something many people wouldn’t enjoy. For me, it blocks out all the other nonsense I have to think about every other minute of my life. It forces me to suspend all that and focus on the cards.
Anyway… a bit of a ramble there. Sorry!
@ruouttaurmind
I thought your biz was getting stuff in exchange for promo printing.
But that’s extra cool, too!
I admire the whole “other people’s money”, no risk thing.
I wonder if that would work at the casinos in OK or LA? I suppose so.
@f00l @ruouttaurmind
But that would involve work though.
@f00l The theoretical payout for video poker is directly related to the pay table for any given machine. You can check an identical machine in two different casinos and it can have different pay tables (chart specifying how much you win for each hand). But even the lesser desirable pay tables in US casinos should net at least 98% or more. Then the trick is learning that casino’s rewards system. There’s a threshold, a level of wagering, which determines which offers you will receive. You need to become aware of how much of their money to play back in to ensure the continuation of the offers.
@mflassy, as I mentioned, many would find it boring and just wouldn’t get any joy from it. For me, the joy comes from the relaxation of the play, the free food (too bad I’m not a drinker 'cause that’s free too!) and the fun of collecting these offers. It’s not for everyone, but for me it’s sport.
@ruouttaurmind
I meant that doing work in exchange for electronics would involve work.
Obviously this is more entertaining.
@ruouttaurmind
BTW I can see enjoying that. And the free food, which I assume kicks ass.
The game of it. The time out the house, outta town, and outta one’s usual headspace.
The audiobooks/podcasts is a really nice touch. How do you keep your phone charged up while playing?
I have a similar “huh” attitude to the addictions of casinos, I think. They one time I was in one, I took $200 to the blackjack table, as a curiosity. I was willing to lose that much. I got lucky, hit $400 in winnings (my pre-chosen amount), was done, and finally accepted a my first and only free drink, as I walked out of the permanent 2am vibe of the gambling floor.
I think what might brother me in the long run might be the corporate drone-iness and corporate-atmosphere of it all.
You have beaten and are beating their game. But in exchange you commit much free time to do it.
One could … I dunno … Read more immersively. Hike. Just drive into all that wonderful Four Corners space. Write. Be with a more personalized hobby or commitment, or with a person, or with a different set of objectives.
Do these, or other alternatives, ever call to you?
Do you sometimes feel, having proven that you can easily win this game, that you wanna break away?
/giphy "breaking away"
I might start to think that, even if I were obviously “winning”;
as long as they own the turf, it’s still kinda “their game” I would be playing.
Hmmmm.
@f00l
For the giphy, I was actually looking for something from the bicycle racing film.
@f00l
I have no problem getting several hours of Audible playback from my phone. Also, if I’m casino hopping, I can get a quick top-up in the car on the way to the next stop. Finally, some of the newer machines are actually equipped with USB charging ports specifically for this purpose.
Surprisingly, many of the casinos I visit are not as antiseptic as one might expect. I have gotten to know several of the cocktail servers (I drink a LOT of coffee in these places; why are they always so COLD???) and most of the slot floor attendants and security folks. Most make an effort to stop by and chat for a minute or two while I’m playing. When I take a break from gaming, I can expect to be greeted by name in most of the restaurants, and again, much of the staff will stop by and visit for a minute. Not in a “37 pieces of flair” corporate drone sort of way, but in a “just people chatting with people sort of way”. Acquaintances.
I have no shortage of hobbies in which I actively engage. But I understand your point.
But I’m antisocial. Being with a person would require being social, wouldn’t it? Besides, video poker I can count on. People just disappoint.
It comes and goes. Over the years that I’ve been working the system I have let the offers go dormant a few times. It’s a bit of an effort to jump start them again after too much inactivity, but I’ve been able to determine a sort of minimum maintenance level from which it’s less laborsome to get the better offers rolling again.
It’s absolutely conceivable I could one day shed my bitterness and begin to long for the companionship of a mate. But today isn’t that day. Tomorrow doesn’t look that great either.
@ruouttaurmind
I didn’t have a “significant other”, necessary, in mind when I suggested time with a person.
I spend something like 99%+ of my time alone, or in very brief work or personal encounters.
And I very much like it that way. I don’t usually wanna socialize up my week just to be with people, that often.
A few times a year? For holidays and other special efforts and visits, it’s nice.
But when I see people I care about, after a break of weeks or months, and we have these long rolling conversations, covering all sorts of stuff; that I value. More than I used to.
The world of connections I find to be of great personal value is larger, and quite different, than once it was.
I don’t use people and people-activities to “fill time”. Meetings and groups and scheduled activities and all that. No.
Never have. Like being alone. A lot.
But I’m perfectly willing to have a far better life, and a better “soul”, if you will, because I have these bonds, and I try to put far more into them than once I did.
/giphy avoidant
Wish I could figure out what to get Mom.
@ruouttaurmind
I have considerable confidence that you will figure out something kinda nice.
@ruouttaurmind
Something she can do with you?
@f00l She only loves one thing: sitting at her kitchen table while she chain smokes and tells me, repeatedly and in detail, about how her pet cows have personality, or whatever silly things the dogs did recently.
Whenever I go there I make sure I spend lots of time sitting with her… but I also make sure my honey-do list is well populated so I can take frequent breaks from the smoke cloud and get fresh air and some activity. Otherwise, after four days and three nights I’d be a little pickled. 🤪
@ruouttaurmind - There’s your answer! A dog- or cow-shaped air purifier!
@ruouttaurmind
Owwwwwwwww!
(For the smoke.)
My parents did not smoke. I feel so lucky on that.
Can you at least sit outdoors, in nicer weather?
Can you draw her out to do other things? Or does she resist, from lack of interest, and in part, because smoking would be curtailed?
What about a vapor system? Would she consider adapting to that? (And are they actually healthier for smokers and bystanders)?
@f00l
Not enough studies have been done. Supposedly you’re only inhaling water vapor… But the liquid is made with glycerin and flavorings, and nicotine if you want it. I’ve heard that it could be almost as dangerous… But time will tell.
Personally, it doesn’t really bother me if someone is vaping next to me, as long as the flavor smells nice. My partner does it and he always has these flavors that smell delicious.
Smokers make me want to cough/gag/eyes water.
@RiotDemon
I hate being near smoking, or smokers (when I can detect the residue).
Pending info from medical and health data, I would be far less avoidant to vapers, tho still not wanting to be near if I could avoid.
Family obligations to one’s mom, tho.
I wonder if I could make myself sit at a kitchen table at length with a chain smoking parent?
I never faced that one.
Maybe, for reasons of obligation and love, one has to?
Or maybe one is doing everyone a favor if one sets boundaries about inhalation and exposure?
Gad. I dunno.
Love has a billion forms and expressions. .
Comes down to the people and the very individual qualities of the relationships, I have to think.
@f00l
This. When I do convince her to leave the house she won’t ride in my rental car. We have to take dad’s truck so she can continue smoking. The destination has to be quick errands like the bank or DMV or whatever so she won’t have to go long without a butt. Even grocery shopping has to be a quick trip to the Dollar General (about 15 or 20 miles away) because she’s won’t commit to a proper stock-up trip to Kroger or Walmart (60 miles away) because she can’t tolerate being inside the store for 45 minuets without a smoke.
I sent her one of those cigarette style vapor systems a couple years ago, with a large assortment of pre-charged cartridges in a variety of tobacco flavours and nic strengths. She tried it for a few weeks, but sent it back to me. She just couldn’t adapt.
As you probably recognize, in a number of years sitting with my chain smoking mother won’t be an option, and I don’t want to look back and question the time I didn’t get to spend with her because I chose not to be around her smoking.
@ruouttaurmind
I think you made the decision you had to make. But that’s tough.
If you had young kids, I think you might be forced into a different decision.
If I were in your position, I would discuss this with my physician, and would ask what I could do, if anything, to mitigate the personal risk to myself.
It’s tough esp because she loves you and cares deeply for you and has been really good to you, but then she does this. And won’t mitigate it or apologize or stop.
But her love for you is quite real.
So you sit with her, watching her death and your harm come close and closer.
Because your unacceptable other option is to not sit with her.
That must be painful in itself.
And the attachment to smoking in this instance outweighs her ability to care about your well-being. In this single area, I suppose.
Wow. I suppose she knows what’s coming and won’t look at it.
I suppose she knows she’s likely to be in serious medical care and smoking won’t be allowed. And she won’t look at that future.
If I were in your shoes … I might send the vapor supplies back to her. Ask her to keep them. And keep trying it once in a while. And go back and forth. And not to worry about failures. Just keep trying.
Maybe she wouldn’t. Maybe she would not like the suggestion.
Maybe she would try. Or maybe someday it would take.
Relationships are such fraught and personal things. No one can really see inside someone else’s.
My SIL was/is very close to her siblings. Her younger sister, an amazing teacher, smoked.
And got lung cancer in her late 40’s. And had the treatments and unfortunately got sicker and sicker.
And wouldn’t stop smoking. It used to cause my SIL such emotional and sometimes even physical pain (tension) to see her sister smoking as she was slowly dying.
They tried to talk about it a few times. There was huge resentment/anger and they stopped.
Near the end the teacher could not smoke, due to the medical environments. She got very angry about it. She wanted to smoke. The last pleasure left to her, she claimed.
My SIL would ask me
"What addiction is worth this? This ugliness? This prison? This physical and emotional poison?"
It was pretty hard to he around.
Sorry to go all grim here.
I hope you and your mom have many good paths to walk together left to you.
@f00l
I appreciate this. Thank you.
@ruouttaurmind
I do hope that.
I hope I wasn’t too much a downer with my story.
Pls forgive.
@f00l No, not. Real life is often unattractive or uncomfortable. I thank you for sharing, despite the discomfort of the situation. We all realize our own situations are not unique or unusual, but hearing from others helps to keep me grounded and present in my own situations. With Mom, it would be easier just to maintain a distant relationship. Emails, phone calls, cards for holidays. But one day I will certainly be in the position to look back and question if I did the right thing. And I don’t want the answer to be accompanied with regret. I went through that once, and I carry it with me always.
@ruouttaurmind
We get it. Tough decide. I believe you made the only choice.
Good that you faced it.
@RiotDemon My friend vapes, and he kept insisting that it was only water vapor. I told him that if I can smell it, and sometimes taste it, then it isn’t just water vapor. For it to have a smell, there must be particulates, and I am breathing them. Whether those particulates are safe or not is unproven, and I prefer not to be a test subject, thanks. But I also avoid incense, scented candles, scentsy products, etc. Artificial and heat disbursed scents tend to give me a headache and sometimes trigger my asthma.
I’m ready to celebrate a great Thanksgiving.
It’s pretty much the same meal with different decor chez nous.
@aetris Except for the roast beef or goose instead of turkey.
@therealjrn - I don’t think I’ve ever had roast beef or goose at Christmas. I like the idea, but it’s the family tradition that the only holidays with meal variations are Easter and the Fourth of July.
Hamburgers or hot dogs, anyone?
@aetris
My step-mom does all this for us and loved loves loves doing it. Or she acts like she loves it so well that I’ve always been fooled.
Including all comers, down to cousins and great-grandkids, can be 30-60 people. 30 minimum, over many decades.
She also works 50-80 hours a week running a business that is extremely busy over the holidays.
And she is not much inclined towards holiday martyrdom.
So the big things (turkey, dressing, gravy, rolls, a few veggie dishes, some pies) are always ordered from a restaurant/caterer. And they are always very tasty.
And then people bring the extras they feel like cooking.
(One family member is a professional chef. Yum.)
And no one is the designated servant/kitchen-slave of the day. That’s not needed. So we’re all pretty happy with this solution.
@f00l - It’s a good point that there’s a lot of organizing to a holiday meal not even counting the cooking. Actually I like cooking turkey and making gravy (and in all humility my gravy is highly regarded.) I’m not into doing all the decorating and seating arrangements, though.
Or the clean-up afterwards!
With 365 gift choices, how could anyone not be ready for Christmas? And this is not even counting Mehathons. Yes, I am a cheap gift giver, but aren’t we all?
@hchavers I consider it more value giving than cheap giving.
Done w gifts, not started Christmas cards. But it’s the plan for today (along w a bunch of other stuff, so may not get done, sigh)
Stupid mediocrebot! @CaptAmehrican already had a thread for this!
https://meh.com/forum/topics/what-done-holiday-shopping-are-you
@ELUNO
am so glad your spiders are keeping track of such nefarious sneaky conduct by @mediocrebot
Good for them! Yeah spiders!
@f00l Of course! I told you they outalexa’d Alexa!
Where’s the “Ask my wife” choice?
I’ve already started for NEXT Christmas!
I don’t understand this ‘finish line’ concept of gift buying. I buy crap all year long whenever I see something someone would like.
I’m hoping to finish up today! Ugh… still have too much. Personal situations put me way behind on getting started and now it’s getting down to the finish line.
I don’t buy all yr because most of my buying goes to younger people… if anything needs returning after Christmas, we’re pretty much screwed if I bought it back in July.