I’d pay off my (and my fiancee’s, maybe some friends’) student loans. Sorry that’s not funny or clever, I’m just so desperate that I can’t even joke about them.
Didn’t I do the math? (With the exception of my work where I can get away with not showing my work at how I arrived at the end point, I am more open to sharing my work.)
@Squid_07 Alas, the market has gotten much less lucrative. That’s not to say that success can’t be found; TeeTurtle is probably the closest example of that, but Ramy was able to capitalize on a strong fan base from shirt.woot – but there are many other shirt sites that didn’t find that success.
I’d pay off the (town)house, then buy a nicer one that’s not attached to any others. Then I’d pay off the cars and credit cards, and finally repay my mom the money we’ve borrowed over the years. Invest the rest in something that’s super-safe.
In reality, now that I’ll married, it’d be pay off the debts, buy a decent house in a decent school district, fix up the two cars, buy a new Ford Explorer for the wife and an old Caprice for me, and probably have just enough left over to allow one of us to not work anymore. I’d still be working 40+ hours a week, but my vacations would be a lot more awesome!
For most practical purposes, a million dollars is a large amount, but from a business perspective, it is not all that much. As for what I would do? Invest 80%-90%, and start my own business or software company.
Bought the house, bought two cars (spouse and me), invested the rest. Retired early. Travel a lot, now, contribute to some select charities. Life is easy.
House. Or maybe a condo. Someplace with thick, thick bedroom walls so I don’t have to hear the guy next door snoring or singing show tunes or making death threats.
@Thumperchick Not quite. Snoring is when he’s asleep, I assume. Show tunes are when he’s in the bathroom between 10pm - 12 am. Death threats were when I first moved in, but the cops came and locked him up for treatment for 12 weeks and he hasn’t made them since.
I gather he has schizotypal personality disorder. He has also complained to apartment management about seeing the sparks from my breathing machine through the walls and feeling vibrations when he walks around the campus.
@compunaut nah. It’s just a 2008 escape, but the speaker went bad and I don’t listen to anything. I find driving less enjoyable so I don’t rush off to the store, I lok at amazon and order it from there. Or wait until husband is running an errand…oh, hey, while you’re out, could you pick up some—
@compunaut Nah, it’s just that it’s been bad so long and we never seem to have the money to replace it. Hubby refuses to do it, he’s afraid he’ll break the door. The local Ford dealer can’t find anything wrong with it. They must all be hard of hearing.
@lisaviolet If it’s a Ford there’s nothing to break, you go to AutoZone and get a package of nylon push fittings to reattach the door panel with after you’re done and go to town. You should be able to look up what variety you need online.
I started playing the video, crossed my arms, tilted my head and stared at husband, who is placing an order for boxes to ship his product. He says “don’t look at me like that” and he kind of watches the beginning of the video “I don’t have that tool!”, which he thinks might get him off of the hook.
He’s now annoyed with me (you?).
But at least now we know that there’s a video. I pointed and said “look, it barely even takes six minutes!” He wasn’t amused.
@jbartus Yeah, he just doesn’t want to do it. The last time we got a receiver for my truck (from Crutchfield, been dealing with them for decades), his nephew put it in.
Pay off my medical bills and student loans, help my kid, replace a few of the things I have had to sell to even be able to pay for health insurance (not a medicaid expansion state) put some aside for the future and then have fun giving some of it away helping others who are struggling.
(I know it’s not that insane everywhere but almost nothing in my neighborhood, 3-4 bedroom tract homes built up in the late-70’s/early-80’s, is under $500k anymore. I bought under $350k in 2009 and for its size, comps are at $560k now.)
Have already and would continue to: Invest long term with an Accredited Portfolio Management Advisor - what a fascinating convo that was…
Start a number of local non-profit groups … first one should be off and running late summer (a community garden) second will be more complicated - an art project involving school groups, groups run with disabled artist, local community art groups, etc.
With a huge sum like a million would expand those projects as wide as possible.
Real estate and living costs are both pretty low in my area, so with a million dollars I could very likely get out of debt, add a few more acres to the property, outfit a decent little workshop to keep myself busy, and still have enough that, invested well, I’d never have to work again. Let’s hear it for rural Indiana.
John Merrick’s remains.
@escapecar oooh all them crazy elephant bones
@escapecar yeah but do they come with Michael’s chimp’s (whose name escapes me at the moment) bones? He had the elephant man last, I think.
A llama, or an emu.
@JekiTheRogue No Kraft dinner?
@harveydanger Of course Kraft Dinner! Only more! With fancy ketchups…
@harveydanger with fancy dijon ketchup
A green dress. But not a real green dress. That’s cruel.
@shahnm My favorite line
Only a million? Boring stuff. Pay off debts. Make sure family is taking care of. Invest a big chunk to make money off of.
@medz Right? This isn’t 1956, a million dollars would barely be enough for a McMansion in some parts of the country.
Financial independence. Let the money make money first.
2 chicks, at the same time.
@axleman1011 Beat me to it! ;-p
@axleman1011 Overrated.
@axleman1011
Bath
@medz You just won the forum.
@medz the city, or the tub?
@medz imagine $1,000,000 worth of neoprene sleeves
I would buy me some Art…
@densa a Picasso or a Garfunkel
@MsELizardBeth
@densa
Art Carney?
I’d pay off my (and my fiancee’s, maybe some friends’) student loans. Sorry that’s not funny or clever, I’m just so desperate that I can’t even joke about them.
@harveydanger just finished my second masters. So much student loan debt.
I’d pay that off, pay the house off, buy a minivan, and put most of the rest into savings for the kiddo.
@harveydanger Actually I changed my mind.
I’d buy Meh’s love.
@MsELizardBeth
May I ask, masters in what?
@harveydanger
@meh charges that much for love?
(Unless you were taking about the site)
@DVDBZN MBA in 2011, Masters in Counseling this year
@harveydanger pft, not for sale. well, maybe.
@harveydanger Flagpole sitting doesn’t pay very well?
Financial independence. And a kickass car.
@cpierce “I wouldn’t sell my bike for all the money in the world. Not for a hundred million, trillion, billion dollars!”
Pay off debt/house/etc., invest the rest. Super exciting stuff!
I’d buy you some art
If I had a liquid million, I’d probably end up buying the next @MrsPavlov . . .
¯\(ツ)/¯
@Pavlov I think if you did that, the current @MrsPavlov would end up with your million…
@Pavlov Just know I get half of what’s here now - and that’ll really hurt, compared to that one liquid million.
Now run along and be a good boy on the forum, which btw, @medz completely owns tonight.
@Thumperchick Bingo.
@MrsPavlov
Pajama.
@Pavlov I doubt a lot of people here will get that. But I starred it anyway, you lovable fucker.
@MrsPavlov @Pavlov
Does ANYBODY really understand most of what is said on the forum anyways?
@FroodyFrog Maybe. That’s half the fun.
@FroodyFrog I doubt it! And I’m happy that you’re a big contributor to that!
@narfcake
I see...
@FroodyFrog Seriously, it’s your unexpectedness that makes it so enjoyable.
(And it’s late, you expect me to find a hidden link at this hour? Yeeesh! I’ll find the hose. You get the duck!)
@FroodyFrog I dunno, I’m just a janitor in search of a blue bottle
@Pavlov "Suppose … I were to offer you one million dollars for one night with your wife. ”
@narfcake but on another forum thread he claims he is hardly on the forums… hmmm
@Kidsandliz There was math involved and I wasn’t about to question what @FroodyFrog did to arrive at the results.
(Someone else did that for me!)
@narfcake
Didn’t I do the math? (With the exception of my work where I can get away with not showing my work at how I arrived at the end point, I am more open to sharing my work.)
@FroodyFrog Yes you did, which is why I didn’t question it then.
@jml326 She’s not that cheap.
@Pavlov if she were, you wouldn’t want her.
Had a million. Or was it two? No idea what I did with it.
Cars, women, booze … and the rest I just wasted
(Originally George Best: cars, birds, and booze, but just wasted the rest.)
@MehnofLaMehncha Reminds me of Tom T Hall’s cowboy philosopher: "Faster horses, younger women, older whiskey, more money"
Most likely I’d retire & move to CO
@compunaut
I retired and moved to CO with around $4,000 in the bank.
just do it!
With a million I could buy several houses and a property manager and rent out most of them.
Relevant BNL:
Oops. Double posted.
@MehnofLaMehncha only saw 1st 3 mins but have to say I think George was a completely awesome footer before he met up with John and Paul and Ringo.
Seriously tho, never seen this guy and can appreciate better why football (the real one) is so loved.
@AmazingChicken
Funny … Cuz in '68 he was in fact known as the 5th Beatle.
First celebrity footballer.
Amazing skills on a solo run.
Drink did him in though
Invest said million dollars into mediocre industries and create a t-shirt site called humdrum
@Squid_07 Alas, the market has gotten much less lucrative. That’s not to say that success can’t be found; TeeTurtle is probably the closest example of that, but Ramy was able to capitalize on a strong fan base from shirt.woot – but there are many other shirt sites that didn’t find that success.
@Squid_07 would the shirts all be muted colors and the designs humorless and drab?
@jbartus but of course!!! Would we have it any other way…
@Squid_07 I put it all on Lucky Dan; half a million dollars to win.
I’d pay off the (town)house, then buy a nicer one that’s not attached to any others. Then I’d pay off the cars and credit cards, and finally repay my mom the money we’ve borrowed over the years. Invest the rest in something that’s super-safe.
Should we be surprised (pleasantly) by the results so far? Impressive.
@RedOak Given the shopping audience this site attracts, I’m not overly surprised.
@RedOak I think because that answer can enable you to say yes to the other answers.
@RedOak It would have been neat if student loans was its own separate answer choice.
@RedOak except for the ‘safe moderate-yield investment’ part. Don’t know one exists anymore at this point.
In reality, now that I’ll married, it’d be pay off the debts, buy a decent house in a decent school district, fix up the two cars, buy a new Ford Explorer for the wife and an old Caprice for me, and probably have just enough left over to allow one of us to not work anymore. I’d still be working 40+ hours a week, but my vacations would be a lot more awesome!
Fukubukuros for everybody!
You get a fuku, and you get a fuku, and you get a fuku . . .
@KDemo Fukun’ awesome!
@KDemo if Oprah worked for meh…
A $million$???
Shit, retirement don’t come cheap anymore.
Your decimal place needs to move right.
@2many2no I’m closing in on retirement age as it is; an extra million would let me start Right Now
A monkey.
@simplersimon Haven’t you always wanted a monkey?
@jml326 Always wanted a monkey but really don’t want my face torn off!
Guessing with a MIL could afford the space a couple needs.
Now I think there are more important things to do with money
For most practical purposes, a million dollars is a large amount, but from a business perspective, it is not all that much. As for what I would do? Invest 80%-90%, and start my own business or software company.
Sock it away for kid#2’s goal. Med school. Should about cover it.
@AmazingChicken Med school, or Mehd school?
Bought the house, bought two cars (spouse and me), invested the rest. Retired early. Travel a lot, now, contribute to some select charities. Life is easy.
Hotdog!
House. Or maybe a condo. Someplace with thick, thick bedroom walls so I don’t have to hear the guy next door snoring or singing show tunes or making death threats.
@justan79 at the same time?
@Thumperchick Not quite. Snoring is when he’s asleep, I assume. Show tunes are when he’s in the bathroom between 10pm - 12 am. Death threats were when I first moved in, but the cops came and locked him up for treatment for 12 weeks and he hasn’t made them since.
I gather he has schizotypal personality disorder. He has also complained to apartment management about seeing the sparks from my breathing machine through the walls and feeling vibrations when he walks around the campus.
3.??
I’d buy a big warehouse and rent out most of it. I’d use the rest as a man cave to make beer and fireworks.
A new speaker for the passenger side door of my car.
@lisaviolet Hella speaker in hella car
@compunaut nah. It’s just a 2008 escape, but the speaker went bad and I don’t listen to anything. I find driving less enjoyable so I don’t rush off to the store, I lok at amazon and order it from there. Or wait until husband is running an errand…oh, hey, while you’re out, could you pick up some—
@lisaviolet I thought you meant it would cost a million $$ to replace the speaker in your car door
@compunaut Nah, it’s just that it’s been bad so long and we never seem to have the money to replace it. Hubby refuses to do it, he’s afraid he’ll break the door. The local Ford dealer can’t find anything wrong with it. They must all be hard of hearing.
@lisaviolet If it’s a Ford there’s nothing to break, you go to AutoZone and get a package of nylon push fittings to reattach the door panel with after you’re done and go to town. You should be able to look up what variety you need online.
Break the door… now I’ve heard everything.
@lisaviolet The front door speaker replacement starts at about 4:15. Crutchfield has been around for many years and I do recommend them.
Trim removal tools can be found at HF.
http://m.harborfreight.com/5-piece-auto-trim-and-molding-tool-set-67021.html
Use a 20% off coupon and a freebie coupon from whatever mailbox flyer or ad you have.
@narfcake Well, thanks!
I started playing the video, crossed my arms, tilted my head and stared at husband, who is placing an order for boxes to ship his product. He says “don’t look at me like that” and he kind of watches the beginning of the video “I don’t have that tool!”, which he thinks might get him off of the hook.
He’s now annoyed with me (you?).
But at least now we know that there’s a video. I pointed and said “look, it barely even takes six minutes!” He wasn’t amused.
@jbartus Yeah, he just doesn’t want to do it. The last time we got a receiver for my truck (from Crutchfield, been dealing with them for decades), his nephew put it in.
@lisaviolet Torx 30 bit @ Amazon - currently $0.94 (add-on item).
Pay off my medical bills and student loans, help my kid, replace a few of the things I have had to sell to even be able to pay for health insurance (not a medicaid expansion state) put some aside for the future and then have fun giving some of it away helping others who are struggling.
I’d put a 40% down payment on a house (so I could get something nice in SoCal) and invest the rest, after doing a bit of traveling.
@DaveInSoCal 40% … so most of that mil? /s
(I know it’s not that insane everywhere but almost nothing in my neighborhood, 3-4 bedroom tract homes built up in the late-70’s/early-80’s, is under $500k anymore. I bought under $350k in 2009 and for its size, comps are at $560k now.)
Thought I’d give someone else a chance to say it first:
Buy a new butt.
The one I’ve got has a crack in it.
@MehnofLaMehncha
Hahaha.
I don’t get it.
@MehnofLaMehncha Mine has a hole. Shrug.
Have already and would continue to: Invest long term with an Accredited Portfolio Management Advisor - what a fascinating convo that was…
Start a number of local non-profit groups … first one should be off and running late summer (a community garden) second will be more complicated - an art project involving school groups, groups run with disabled artist, local community art groups, etc.
With a huge sum like a million would expand those projects as wide as possible.
Real estate and living costs are both pretty low in my area, so with a million dollars I could very likely get out of debt, add a few more acres to the property, outfit a decent little workshop to keep myself busy, and still have enough that, invested well, I’d never have to work again. Let’s hear it for rural Indiana.
(I should say “we.” Three weeks to go, and I still don’t have my head completely wrapped around this “marriage” thing.)
@dannybeans Congrats! “We” once meant me and my cats.
@sammydog01 Thanks - and same here. Now it’s me and her and the cats and chickens and ducks and dog. Definitely an improvement.
here’s a twist: what would you do with a MEHllion dollars?
@NAFderwin Probably not much.
@mfladd @jaremelz isn’t invited?
I do like corn dogs…
@thismyusername @narfcake beat us both to it earlier. But glad to see we all think alike - scary as it maybe
@mfladd I blame pagination.
@thismyusername Don’t we have a new goat yet?
Of course I liked all of the BNL lyrics. Including @harveydanger 's “buy meh’s love”
I’d get a life…if I could afford one.
Oh well.