A man who had two sons and he was very disturbed about them. One was a pessimist beyond recall. The other one was an optimist beyond reason. He talked to a child psychiatrist who made a suggestion. He said, "I think we can fix that." He said, "We'll get a room and we'll fill it with the most wonderful toys any boy ever had." And he said, "We'll put the pessimist in. And when he finds out they're for him, he'll get over being a pessimist."
And his father said, "What will you do about the optimist?"
Well, he said, "I have a friend who's got a racing stable and they clean out the stalls every morning." And he said, "I can get quite a large amount of manure." And he said, "We'll put that in another room and when the optimist, who's seen his brother get all those toys is then shown into the room with the manure and that's all that is there, he'll get over being an optimist."
Well, they did this and they waited about five minutes and then they opened the door and the pessimist was sitting there crying as if his heart would break. He said, "I know somebody is going to come in and take all these great toys away from me."
And they went down to the other room and they opened the door and there was the kid happy as a clam throwing shit over his shoulders as fast as he could and they said, "What are you doing?" And he says, "There's got to be a pony in here somewhere!"
I was a kid a REALLY long time ago. I was excited about an Erector Set (with a motor!!), and a couple of years later, a chemistry set. In those days they had actual chemicals in them, and you could make things that would blind you, or blow your fingers off. I did neither.
@Shrdlu Yeah my brother had a chemistry set and mixed stuff in a pie pan forgetting aluminum was a catalyst and blew the pilot light out on the furnace. He spent several hours in ER having red phosphorus picked out of his eyes. Got lucky and no permanent damage.
@Shrdlu We got one of those at a yard sale when I was a kid, it was ridiculous[ly cool]. When everything in there got used up/lost/broken, it was pretty heartbreaking to find out that the only thing modern chemistry sets had in them was stuff that wouldn't explode or burn.
@Shrdlu I got a chemistry set for Christmas. My favorite thing was to melt sulfur with the alcohol burner and pour it onto a penny with tape around the edge. Good times.
I asked for cheese balls once for Christmas. I got them and they were delicious.
...I had an eating problem when I was younger. Actually, I still have it. Unfortunately, the cheese balls were not as lucky and have long since passed.
@mfladd I did something similar with a Nirvana CD that I was super excited for! I carefully sliced the tape and unwrapped it, then I carefully sliced the edge of the cellophane, took the disk out and copied it to a cassette tape.. Put everything back and was cautious to put tape exactly on top of the original tape.. I got to listen to my cd for like 3 weeks before Christmas, and was never caught.. lol
Anything my mom made me. We didn't have a lot, but she was incredibly crafty. Her handmade items were better than almost anything else when I was really little.
@mfladd I suppose it's clear where I got the desire to create from. Making something with my own hands and then giving it away is giving a little piece of myself. Even a simple, silly thing I've made myself is the most personal thing I can give.
A Major Matt Mason Space Crawler. For you kiddies, Major Matt Mason was the toy line we had instead of Star Wars a decade before "A New Hope" premiered.
@DrWorm My brother and I had most of the Major Matt Mason toys... they were awesome! Sadly they were stored in the attic when we outgrew them and the Nevada heat pretty much destroyed them. I remember looking at the 'make a laser!' kits in the magazines and trying to figure out how to get a ruby crystal laser and xenon tube to fit in the barrel of the Firebolt Space Cannon... good times ;)
That did teach me a Valuable lesson in life. Heros will let you down at some point in this world. I was a NY kid living in AZ. I tried to hold on to my roots. Then I became and adult at some point. and it is all Cardinals and Diamond Backs for me now. My only regret now as an adult is that I still have them and they are not worth Jack Squat!
Pretty much whatever I got that year. Some that I can remember that I remember being super excited about:
An HO train set (and thereafter various accessories). Legos. Just shitloads of Legos. Hot Wheels. Sizzlers. Tracks with loopdeloops and accelerators and stuff. A variable speed tape recorder (the speed could be adjusted for both recording and playback). A multi-band radio. Some Dungeons and Dragons stuff. One year my middle brother was away at chef's school and we were sure he couldn't make it back and Mom surprised us with him. One year as a teenager, my wife presented me, three days early, with a beautiful baby girl who was like, partly my DNA and everything. That was the best. And, yeah, I was definitely still a kid when that happened.
I'm sure there's some really cool thing that I'm totally forgetting. I think I had a good childhood.
@joelmw I just wanted to be able to do all those wonderful and magical things my step-brothers bragged about . . . Then I realized I'd actually have to convince a girl to do them with me. Which pretty much sucked, because although I hit puberty young and hard, I didn't have much game until my late teens. But once I got the hang of it . . .
Radio Shack 100 in 1 Electronic Project kit. The connectors were springs. I think I did most or all of the projects. It might have been the 75 in 1. Or some other model. It was one available around 1970.
@hamjudo Ooh, I wanted this. I did get a chemistry set . . . and almost blew up my bedroom more than once.
It was something like this. Those bottles look familiar at least. I bought a flask and some pipettes and tubes and shit with my allowance. I knew I forgot something.
@joelmw Thats the one I had. My parents only let me use it outside on the covered patio 'just in case'. I won't say its the best present every, but in hindsight it was a wonderful one... its a shame kids today will never really have the chance even if they might have been interested.
An Evel Knievel bicycle. I was told they were impossible to find and there were no more. In my mind I still see and feel the surprise and joy as I walked down the stairs and saw that baby parked in front of the tree. I realized when I got older that I was lucky I didn't kill myself on it, simply because my father had put it together. Let's just say he was not the handiest father in the world...
@Pavlov I not only had the original cycle but also the chopper. Somewhere around 1999 I bought a reissued version of it from a company called Playing Mantis. That one currently sits in my closet, right next to my Mach 5. And yes, since it wasn't an original I did take it out of the box and play with it.
Aside from my previous comments. This was truly the best Christmas Present i can remember.
Although shortly after I found that it weighed about 20lbs more than all my friends bikes. and I was the kid who could not make the jumps over our Tonka Trucks. Huffy Silver Thunder... http://bmxmuseum.com/bikes/huffy/30692
I will start out by saying, yes I know that I am old! My favorite doll ( for those who don't know I am a female) was a talking Popeye the sailor man doll...loved that doll as I wanted to grow up and be as strong as Popeye. Parents told me that if I ate spinach, I too would be strong as Popeye!
Anyways, I loved Popeye so much they drove to Crystal City, Texas where there is a statue of Popeye and took a picture of me and my brother with that statute. Later on, a younger sister came along in our family and as she grew up, one day she destroyed that doll. The doll was kept it in pristine condition, as I didn't play with it and just had it sitting on a shelf. (I didn't want to mess him up).
I have only seen that same doll once on eBay and the seller took it off the auction block ( guess it didn't make its reserve). Although, I never really liked dolls, I loved that one. Funny thing is, I am still the only person in my family ( consisting of my parents, brother and sister) that today still likes and will eat spinach!
what about the jock jams cd? oh yeah!
Horse
@Teripie I wanted a pony. Never got one.
Reminds me of a joke . . .
A man who had two sons and he was very disturbed about them. One was a pessimist beyond recall. The other one was an optimist beyond reason. He talked to a child psychiatrist who made a suggestion. He said, "I think we can fix that." He said, "We'll get a room and we'll fill it with the most wonderful toys any boy ever had." And he said, "We'll put the pessimist in. And when he finds out they're for him, he'll get over being a pessimist."
And his father said, "What will you do about the optimist?"
Well, he said, "I have a friend who's got a racing stable and they clean out the stalls every morning." And he said, "I can get quite a large amount of manure." And he said, "We'll put that in another room and when the optimist, who's seen his brother get all those toys is then shown into the room with the manure and that's all that is there, he'll get over being an optimist."
Well, they did this and they waited about five minutes and then they opened the door and the pessimist was sitting there crying as if his heart would break. He said, "I know somebody is going to come in and take all these great toys away from me."
And they went down to the other room and they opened the door and there was the kid happy as a clam throwing shit over his shoulders as fast as he could and they said, "What are you doing?" And he says, "There's got to be a pony in here somewhere!"
I was a kid a REALLY long time ago. I was excited about an Erector Set (with a motor!!), and a couple of years later, a chemistry set. In those days they had actual chemicals in them, and you could make things that would blind you, or blow your fingers off. I did neither.
@Shrdlu Yeah my brother had a chemistry set and mixed stuff in a pie pan forgetting aluminum was a catalyst and blew the pilot light out on the furnace. He spent several hours in ER having red phosphorus picked out of his eyes. Got lucky and no permanent damage.
@Shrdlu We got one of those at a yard sale when I was a kid, it was ridiculous[ly cool]. When everything in there got used up/lost/broken, it was pretty heartbreaking to find out that the only thing modern chemistry sets had in them was stuff that wouldn't explode or burn.
@Shrdlu I got a chemistry set for Christmas. My favorite thing was to melt sulfur with the alcohol burner and pour it onto a penny with tape around the edge. Good times.
@Shrdlu Gilbert or Meccano?
@duodec Probably Gilbert. I never heard of the other.
@Shrdlu Meccano is European (French now, not sure then), and actually owns the Gilbert "Erector" trademark now.
I asked for cheese balls once for Christmas. I got them and they were delicious.
...I had an eating problem when I was younger. Actually, I still have it. Unfortunately, the cheese balls were not as lucky and have long since passed.
Late 1970's - my Texas Instruments Digital Watch. I found it and must have unwrapped it 10x before Christmas. I was a sneaky kid.
@mfladd Why am I not surprised? :)
@mfladd I did something similar with a Nirvana CD that I was super excited for! I carefully sliced the tape and unwrapped it, then I carefully sliced the edge of the cellophane, took the disk out and copied it to a cassette tape.. Put everything back and was cautious to put tape exactly on top of the original tape.. I got to listen to my cd for like 3 weeks before Christmas, and was never caught.. lol
A Crossman 760 pellet rifle. You'll shoot your eye out kid.
I didn't! And I still have the rifle. Though it's in kind of rough shape, and doesn't hold air pressure well...
Anything my mom made me. We didn't have a lot, but she was incredibly crafty. Her handmade items were better than almost anything else when I was really little.
@jaremelz Your presents were the best. Excuse me while I dice up more onions.
@mfladd I suppose it's clear where I got the desire to create from. Making something with my own hands and then giving it away is giving a little piece of myself. Even a simple, silly thing I've made myself is the most personal thing I can give.
A Major Matt Mason Space Crawler. For you kiddies, Major Matt Mason was the toy line we had instead of Star Wars a decade before "A New Hope" premiered.
@DrWorm My brother and I had most of the Major Matt Mason toys... they were awesome! Sadly they were stored in the attic when we outgrew them and the Nevada heat pretty much destroyed them. I remember looking at the 'make a laser!' kits in the magazines and trying to figure out how to get a ruby crystal laser and xenon tube to fit in the barrel of the Firebolt Space Cannon... good times ;)
A tomogotchi pet! Yup, I was at the right age in the 90's to think that was the greatest thing!
@MrsBeckett The first thing I did when I got mine was starve him to see what happened. It was for science.
ETA: Just found this. It's nice to know that no matter who you are, there are more people like you on the Internet.. and they probably have a Facebook group.
https://www.facebook.com/Perposly-starving-your-tamagotchi-because-you-have-no-heart-102948563137530/
a Darrel strawberry rookie card.
@jayshocka Dwight Gooden rookie card. and a lawrence taylor rookie card..... then awesome now meh@
@jayshocka uuummmmm.....they are all still collectible as rehab and rapist collectibles. Just say'in. Sorry for your NY pain.
@mfladd Uh...."rapist" collectibles?
@emt305
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/crime/giants-star-lawrence-taylor-busted-rape-16-year-old-bronx-girl-lawyer-cries-setup-article-1.444899
But, the charge was reduced to sexual misconduct with a 16 yr old girl. Either way it's rape.
http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=6246274
That did teach me a Valuable lesson in life. Heros will let you down at some point in this world. I was a NY kid living in AZ. I tried to hold on to my roots. Then I became and adult at some point. and it is all Cardinals and Diamond Backs for me now. My only regret now as an adult is that I still have them and they are not worth Jack Squat!
Pretty much whatever I got that year. Some that I can remember that I remember being super excited about:
An HO train set (and thereafter various accessories).
Legos. Just shitloads of Legos.
Hot Wheels. Sizzlers. Tracks with loopdeloops and accelerators and stuff.
A variable speed tape recorder (the speed could be adjusted for both recording and playback).
A multi-band radio.
Some Dungeons and Dragons stuff.
One year my middle brother was away at chef's school and we were sure he couldn't make it back and Mom surprised us with him.
One year as a teenager, my wife presented me, three days early, with a beautiful baby girl who was like, partly my DNA and everything. That was the best. And, yeah, I was definitely still a kid when that happened.
I'm sure there's some really cool thing that I'm totally forgetting. I think I had a good childhood.
@joelmw Your last thing is really confusing- did you make mistakes when writing that, or did you really marry an older lady when you were a teenager?
@dashcloud I was 18. My wife did rob the cradle. She was all of 19. Did I address your confusement?
@joelmw That clears everything up for me! Thanks.
Puberty.
@Pavlov Really? 'Cause it was damned weird and uncomfortable. It grew on me, but I wasn't super excited when it hit.
@joelmw I just wanted to be able to do all those wonderful and magical things my step-brothers bragged about . . . Then I realized I'd actually have to convince a girl to do them with me. Which pretty much sucked, because although I hit puberty young and hard, I didn't have much game until my late teens. But once I got the hang of it . . .
@Pavlov This is absolutely unsurprising.
The drone is $13.99 today on amazon..........glad i checked.
@alaist Check again. That's a first gen model CX-10, not the CX-10C (the C designating the camera).
Life like Mr. T "action figure".
Legos.
I only got them once.
Of course this would be a thing:
Radio Shack 100 in 1 Electronic Project kit. The connectors were springs. I think I did most or all of the projects. It might have been the 75 in 1. Or some other model. It was one available around 1970.
@hamjudo Ooh, I wanted this. I did get a chemistry set . . . and almost blew up my bedroom more than once.
It was something like this. Those bottles look familiar at least. I bought a flask and some pipettes and tubes and shit with my allowance. I knew I forgot something.
@joelmw http://hms-beagle.com/heirloom-chemistry-set-free-shipping-usa-only/
@joelmw Thats the one I had. My parents only let me use it outside on the covered patio 'just in case'. I won't say its the best present every, but in hindsight it was a wonderful one... its a shame kids today will never really have the chance even if they might have been interested.
@Pavlov Yes, please.
A chemistry kit, that may be the one I had, too!
An Evel Knievel bicycle. I was told they were impossible to find and there were no more. In my mind I still see and feel the surprise and joy as I walked down the stairs and saw that baby parked in front of the tree. I realized when I got older that I was lucky I didn't kill myself on it, simply because my father had put it together. Let's just say he was not the handiest father in the world...
A facsimile:
@cinoclav
@Pavlov I not only had the original cycle but also the chopper. Somewhere around 1999 I bought a reissued version of it from a company called Playing Mantis. That one currently sits in my closet, right next to my Mach 5. And yes, since it wasn't an original I did take it out of the box and play with it.
@cinoclav OH MAN! I had one of those!
Aside from my previous comments. This was truly the best Christmas Present i can remember.
Although shortly after I found that it weighed about 20lbs more than all my friends bikes. and I was the kid who could not make the jumps over our Tonka Trucks.
Huffy Silver Thunder...
http://bmxmuseum.com/bikes/huffy/30692
I will start out by saying, yes I know that I am old! My favorite doll ( for those who don't know I am a female) was a talking Popeye the sailor man doll...loved that doll as I wanted to grow up and be as strong as Popeye. Parents told me that if I ate spinach, I too would be strong as Popeye!
Anyways, I loved Popeye so much they drove to Crystal City, Texas where there is a statue of Popeye and took a picture of me and my brother with that statute. Later on, a younger sister came along in our family and as she grew up, one day she destroyed that doll. The doll was kept it in pristine condition, as I didn't play with it and just had it sitting on a shelf. (I didn't want to mess him up).
I have only seen that same doll once on eBay and the seller took it off the auction block ( guess it didn't make its reserve). Although, I never really liked dolls, I loved that one. Funny thing is, I am still the only person in my family ( consisting of my parents, brother and sister) that today still likes and will eat spinach!
@AttyVette Spinach is nummy! Especially hot with lots of butter.