The State of the VMP

dis_member thought this was worth mentioning said Thu, Jan 12th 2017 at 3:47pm ET

So, I’ve been on-and-off-again VMP, and happened to be thinking that there used to occasionally be socks and other random stuff shipped just for being mediocre. Is the surprise now that they simply don’t do it surprises?

Not worried about it, just curious what other benefits of VMP have occurred in the last year that I’m simply forgetting about/missed. (a quick forum search didn’t yield much for me).

14 comments, 35 replies
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carl669 said Thu, Jan 12th 2017 at 3:50pm ET:

you didn’t get your secret VMP decoder ring?

hkls sldas dklwooa kdkso!!

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- @carl669
  
  dis_member said Thu, Jan 12th 2017 at 3:50pm ET
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- @carl669 Is there a slash command for that?
  
  sligett said Fri, Jan 13th 2017 at 6:33am ET
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- @dis_member Best. GIF. Ever.
  
  Blahbbs said Fri, Jan 13th 2017 at 6:48am ET
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RiotDemon said Thu, Jan 12th 2017 at 3:54pm ET:

This is what the VMP thingy says are the actual benefits:

Free shipping
Pays for itself with your first order each month. Everything after that is gravy (but not real gravy, sorry).

A last shot at sold-out deals
We launch a small reserve of product at 4pm ET only for VMPs who were already members before that day.

VMP Last Call
If our daily deal doesn’t sell out, VMPs can buy up the leftovers until 6am ET the next day.

Free shipping at MorningSave
Pays for itself with your first order each month.

10% off at MorningSave
10% off at our satellite store for breakfast TV watchers and other normals.

Exclusive VMP merch
We like to make things with our logo on it and only let VMPs buy it. It’s just a weird thing we’re into.

Sneak peeks of new features
Sometimes, before we roll out new site features, we try them out on our guinea pi- er, VMP friends first.

Surprises?
Everyone likes a good surprise. Not everyone likes a mediocre surprise though. Don’t get your hopes up too high.

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- @RiotDemon Yeah, I’m familiar, thanks.
  
  I mentioned that I don’t remember “surprises” and exclusive merch much last year. I’m asking if I missed something.
  
  The VMP “breaker” is new this year, so I did forget about that. I wonder how many VMPs who are effected regularly by it.
  
  dis_member said Thu, Jan 12th 2017 at 3:56pm ET
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- @dis_member I’ve been off and on too, but I don’t think I’ve received anything since… a shirt I think? I know i got usb charger things, socks, and a shirt awhile ago.
  
  edit: thanks for reminding me to cancel too
  
  Seeds said Thu, Jan 12th 2017 at 4:00pm ET
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- @dis_member I’ve been vmp since last June. I haven’t gotten any surprises. I didn’t get anything from Irk either when he answered my question and called me a psychopath.
  
  RiotDemon said Thu, Jan 12th 2017 at 4:02pm ET
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- @RiotDemon that was its own gift.
  
  Ignorant said Thu, Jan 12th 2017 at 5:10pm ET
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- @Ignorant that is true. I spent a good many minutes pondering the validity of his claims while driving to work.
  
  RiotDemon said Thu, Jan 12th 2017 at 5:24pm ET
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- @RiotDemon That sucks- they used to send out buttons with a picture of Irk and “I asked Irk” printed on it. I’ll blame the goat @jbartus for this grievous mistake.
  
  dashcloud said Thu, Jan 12th 2017 at 6:05pm ET
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- @dashcloud who knows. It could still happen.
  
  looks hopeful
  
  RiotDemon said Thu, Jan 12th 2017 at 6:55pm ET
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- @dis_member I literally bought today’s item at 4 PM because I never make it to midnight and it was sold out at 8-ish.
  
  Kawa said Thu, Jan 12th 2017 at 11:09pm ET
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- @RiotDemon dont forget the chance to be shut down 3 times in one day to get a fuko or Bluetooth headphones
  
  somf69 said Sat, Jan 14th 2017 at 12:07am ET
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ConAndLibrarian said Thu, Jan 12th 2017 at 4:02pm ET:

I am not saying that select VMP members get use of exotic cars and the company jet, but…

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- @conandlibrarian damn man. that’s a nice leg you got there.
  
  carl669 said Thu, Jan 12th 2017 at 4:02pm ET
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- @carl669 I think all VMPs have legs like that. Right?
  
  compunaut said Thu, Jan 12th 2017 at 4:04pm ET
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- @conandlibrarian They let me take the meh yacht to the meh island.
  
  CaptAmehrican said Thu, Jan 12th 2017 at 4:56pm ET
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- @compunaut ask @LegEndOrNothing
  
  RiotDemon said Thu, Jan 12th 2017 at 4:59pm ET
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- @RiotDemon I believe it’s more situational, the leg end and the leg itself only tone themselves in a backwards fashion the more time you spend as a VMP, because of all the time you waste on meh
  
  legendornothing said Thu, Jan 12th 2017 at 10:58pm ET
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- @legendornothing Time spent on meh is never wasted. Usually.
  
  heartny said Thu, Jan 12th 2017 at 11:08pm ET
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- @heartny true
  
  legendornothing said Thu, Jan 12th 2017 at 11:46pm ET
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- @legendornothing
  Does having VMP means becoming a Time Lord?
  
  I’d like to try going backwards in Time. Also out Time.
  
  f00l said Fri, Jan 13th 2017 at 9:48am ET
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f00l said Thu, Jan 12th 2017 at 6:08pm ET:

Do we get to be the Mediocre Emperors of Meh Castle?

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kdemo said Thu, Jan 12th 2017 at 7:08pm ET:

I think it means ‘Very Much Purpleness’, and we get that in the forums every day.

(And not the fake dyed purple, either, but the real thing!)

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Barney said Thu, Jan 12th 2017 at 7:13pm ET:

Why do you think I wasn’t on the forum for a week? I was on the free official Meh cruise that is held each winter. I’m not sure where we went, but it was, uh, interesting.

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- @Barney My memory of the OMC is likewise fuzzy. In fact, other than a feeling of purple I can’t recall any details. But that’s enough for me.
  
  sligett said Thu, Jan 12th 2017 at 9:25pm ET
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- @sligett
  
  I recall is feeling of purple also.
  
  f00l said Thu, Jan 12th 2017 at 9:48pm ET
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- @Barney We went to Al khor island also known as Purple Island. It was a great time although really Irk should not have worn the speedo he doesn’t have the body for it.
  
  CaptAmehrican said Thu, Jan 12th 2017 at 10:32pm ET
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- @CaptAmehrican @sligett @f00l That’s it! That’s it! I remember now. All that purpleness and then Irk and his speedo. Too much for me. I fainted. No more OMC’s for me!
  
  Edit: But the purple drinks were pretty good.
  
  Barney said Thu, Jan 12th 2017 at 11:40pm ET
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- @sligett Hmm, seems we all had a feeling of purple. Sorry @Barney, you said it was consensual!
  
  cinoclav said Fri, Jan 13th 2017 at 5:44pm ET
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medz said Thu, Jan 12th 2017 at 9:47pm ET:

The surprise is that there are no more surprises.

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- @medz Reminds me of getting “Goth-served” from one of the greatest South Park episodes ever.
  
  huja said Fri, Jan 13th 2017 at 4:16pm ET
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- @medz
  
  /youtube Radiohead no surprises
  
  Kevin said Sat, Jan 14th 2017 at 1:17am ET
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- @Kevin
  
  justbuyit said Sat, Jan 14th 2017 at 5:07am ET
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bigtom67 said Fri, Jan 13th 2017 at 12:33am ET:

Nice… I think I remember drinking some purple Jesus there then I blacked out.

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MrMark said Fri, Jan 13th 2017 at 8:17am ET:

Sort of feels like they have given up the small amount of attention they were giving this site.

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PurplePawprints said Fri, Jan 13th 2017 at 8:59am ET:

I think it’s more that while vmp is a great benefit for those of us who order frequently, it’s a loss for them. Their profit margin isn’t huge to begin with and there probably hasn’t been extra funds set aside for fun stuff lately. At least, that’s my rationalization as I cry myself to sleep over the lack of love and rewards here.

/giphy purple tears

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ELUNO said Fri, Jan 13th 2017 at 9:13am ET:

I’m pretty sure being part of VMP is helping my immune system. Also not going bald. It must be because of them.

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Kevin said Sat, Jan 14th 2017 at 1:16am ET:

I got a free pair of socks that one time, so VMP will be thumbs up in my book from now until enternity.

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- @Kevin I have those socks. I have yet to wear them, though.
  The intermittent reward thing keeps me around I guess.
  
  lumpthar said Sat, Jan 14th 2017 at 4:42pm ET
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pfarro1 said Sun, Jan 15th 2017 at 11:45pm ET:

There’s a little mental trick I use to justify my VMP. I set an alarm on my phone for 1245 am friday mornings. It reminds me I have to pay for my VMP, thus tricking me into not ordering that 13th beer. Most months it saves me at least 19 bucks. (4 thursdays drinking x 1 beer at 5bucks plus at least a dollar tip - 5 dollar VMP charge). Those months where there are 5 thursday nights it saves me even more. And maybe as my surprise at some point Meh will send me a liver.

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- @pfarro1 Watch out. If you win a fuko you might just get one put in there - possibly already pickled.
  
  Kidsandliz said Mon, Jan 16th 2017 at 12:38am ET
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- @Kidsandliz There has to be a recipe for pickled liver somewhere.
  
  pfarro1 said Mon, Jan 16th 2017 at 10:17am ET
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- @pfarro1 Yeah the easy one is probably buy a half gallon of dill pickles. Take out the pickles, leave the liquid, put in the liver. Oh wait… it might be take the human, feed lots of alcohol daily for a year. Remove pickled liver. Hmm or is that a pickled brain you’d get?..better go google this…
  
  Here you go - how to pickle anything
  
  http://www.eatingwell.com/blogs/healthy_cooking_blog/how_to_pickle_anything_no_canning_necessary
  
  Kidsandliz said Mon, Jan 16th 2017 at 11:34am ET
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hems79 said Sun, Jan 15th 2017 at 11:57pm ET:

I just cancelled VMP, about five minutes before it was going to be renewed. We are cutting costs, and 60 clams a year is going to be saved. It’ll also save a lot of impulse buys for my wife to discover when packages arrive unannounced at our front door.
/giphy I am sad

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- @hems79 Five dollars a month sounds so much cheaper than sixty dollars a year.
  
  sammydog01 said Sun, Jan 15th 2017 at 11:59pm ET
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- @sammydog01 It does, but unfortunately we know simple multiplacation.
  /giphy we smert
  
  hems79 said Mon, Jan 16th 2017 at 12:02am ET
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- Damn, just noticed this giphy in detail after I’m no longer able to change it. Not my favorite giphy I’ve ever posted.
  
  hems79 said Mon, Jan 16th 2017 at 12:17am ET
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