I’ve been in 'Vegas every year for my birthday for about the last 25 years.
I once ate a 18.25oz can of Planter’s Deluxe Whole Cashews while watching a hour-long TV show.
I once “rat-raced” the cops in my parent’s car at night through my own neighborhood streets and alleys. Don’t know why I took off but I didn’t want to get a f’ing ticket for not completely stopping at a stop sign in front of them. I lost them by shooting into an alley, dousing the lights, and stopping using the emergency brake (no brake lights).
Lie: I once ate a 18.25oz can of Planter’s Deluxe Whole Cashews while watching a hour-long TV show.
@galmaegi Yes, a lie, but only a very slight distortion of the truth. I didn’t actually eat the whole can as I left 2 cashews in the can for my roommate, and it was a 3hr-long football game, not a hour-long TV show…
@juststephen it was probably at least a 20 oz can in those days, maybe 24. 18.5 is the current size I have in my pantry. Just another “let’s decrease the contents over time and maybe no one will notice” ploy I guess.
@Jdub Grocery shrink ray. What used to be 3 pound cans of coffee went down to 42 oz., then 39, then 35, then 33.5, then 31, then 29.5, and now I’m seeing 26 oz.
Because I was absent for my 23 birthday, my friends made a cardboard cutout of me and took it out to the bars in hopes of getting free drinks. I woke up and was tagged in 100 pictures.
One of my best friends party tricks is a rainman like ability to tell you both the year an actor was born and the year a movie was made.
One birthday, I had a party at a local gymnasium and invited my homeroom class. We played a game where you had to jump across a “bridge” (a trampoline) and avoid the “troll” (the guy running the thing). He jumped out at one of the invitees, making silly noises, and the kid ran away crying.
One birthday, I fell in a pile of fire ants and didn’t move until my dad yelled at me to get up. My arm was covered in extremely painful bites.
I share a birthday with my mother.
Lie: One birthday, I had a party at a local gymnasium and invited my homeroom class. We played a game where you had to jump across a “bridge” (a trampoline) and avoid the “troll” (the guy running the thing). He jumped out at one of the invitees, making silly noises, and the kid ran away crying.
Had a birthday party canceled because of a bad double ear infection. I cried and protested like crazy and didn’t forgive my mom for years. I still bother her about it in my 40’s, although not with any seriousness.
One year the birthday cake came and my name was misspelled (not uncommon for my name). I refused to eat the cake until it was fixed. My mom wiped the extra letter off with her finger which was unacceptable. I threw a tantrum and knocked my little table over and the cake hit the floor.
My favorite birthday gift ever was my lavender Mongoose FS1
Lie: One year the birthday cake came and my name was misspelled (not uncommon for my name). I refused to eat the cake until it was fixed. My mom wiped the extra letter off with her finger which was unacceptable. I threw a tantrum and knocked my little table over and the cake hit the floor.
@JasonToon
Lie: His most raging addiction is bite-size Butterfingers.
@galmaegi
Lie: I watched The Purge 1 & 2 and can’t wait to see the third one just came out.
@Jdub
Lie: I once ate a 18.25oz can of Planter’s Deluxe Whole Cashews while watching a hour-long TV show.
@galmaegi Yes, a lie, but only a very slight distortion of the truth. I didn’t actually eat the whole can as I left 2 cashews in the can for my roommate, and it was a 3hr-long football game, not a hour-long TV show…
@Jdub I thought it was a lie as how did you remember the exact size of the can? Huh? Huh?
@Jdub So, basically you ate the whole can!
@juststephen it was probably at least a 20 oz can in those days, maybe 24. 18.5 is the current size I have in my pantry. Just another “let’s decrease the contents over time and maybe no one will notice” ploy I guess.
@Jdub Grocery shrink ray. What used to be 3 pound cans of coffee went down to 42 oz., then 39, then 35, then 33.5, then 31, then 29.5, and now I’m seeing 26 oz.
But it’s still a “large” can!
@Chadp
Lie: Cake is my favorite part of my birthday.
You can tell from here.
@katylava
Lie: My 15th high school reunion is this year.
i made it too easy… too many people know how old i am.
@Mehcus
Lie: My birthday falls on the same day as an assassinated president that we celebrate.
/giphy mayonnaise
@Purplecave
Lie: I got shot on my birthday while serving a tour in Fallujah, Iraq
@Moose
Lie: I have owned every Pokemon game that has ever been released in American markets but have only actually beaten two.
I’ve actually never owned a Pokemon game, and stupid Pokemon Go is the first Pokemon game I’ve even played
@Moose
Same here. I only got Pokémon Go because of the AR and extreme hype.
@sethxiansheng
Lie: My extended family contains 5 sets of twins.
@harrison
Lie: One birthday, I had a party at a local gymnasium and invited my homeroom class. We played a game where you had to jump across a “bridge” (a trampoline) and avoid the “troll” (the guy running the thing). He jumped out at one of the invitees, making silly noises, and the kid ran away crying.
To be clear, this is only a lie because the kid that ran away crying was not an invitee. It was me.
@Mikedomediocre
Lie: Have travelled to every continent
/giphy fried chicken
@hollboll
Lie: I have grown only 2 inches since I was 13.
@Kylethephotoguy
Lie: Got stock in Dutch Ovens
@dave
Lie: My wife and I share the same birthday.
@denboy
Lie: One year the birthday cake came and my name was misspelled (not uncommon for my name). I refused to eat the cake until it was fixed. My mom wiped the extra letter off with her finger which was unacceptable. I threw a tantrum and knocked my little table over and the cake hit the floor.
@Troy
Lie: At my birthday party 3 years ago, I met Steve Buscemi at a bowling alley in Louisiana
I think I did pretty well. Don’t remember and too lazy to look.
@Ignorant
https://meh.com/forum/topics/two-truths-and-a-lie-birthday-staff-edition
@DVDBZN oh I know where the thread is but I’m too lazy to go look and remember what I gave stars. Thanks though.