you don't. the child will take more and more of your time. you will still love the child.
the child will want to "help" fold the laundry by diving into the pile of folded clothes or flipping over the laundry basket. you will wonder why you had the child. you will still love the child.
the child will say funny things like, "too slow sucka!". and you will love the child even more:
the child will finally go off to school. then, you might get some time back to manage.
@carl669 - I'm convinced that the reason they're so adorable when little is so it's too hard to be mad at them. Your son is just getting cuter, bet he can get away with anything.
@carl669 Adorable. And who is the lab type in the background. Was he/she there before or after kid ? How do they feel about each other ? Are there other pets ? Just wondering. I had my first dog at age 2. Was my best friend ever.
@ceagee that would be Dexter. he was around for about a year before the child showed up. at first, dexter didn't know what to make of the screaming, wiggly human. any time he would get close, dexter just walked away. but then, dexter figured out the small human had a propensity to drop food and just started following him around.
@Thumperchick it is not a trick.. at that point you just admit defeat!!!! ;) Also a second child will rat out the first child in a heartbeat!! (each way)
I'm getting a general consensus of "if you are with the baby, there is no such thing as time management." Is that about right? Because I kind of miss being able to check in here a few times a day - and actually process what I'm reading.
@Thumperchick Front packs now, backpacks later. The kid in the pack was happy as long as I was moving. Once they can walk on their own, the backpack is only good for naps. Until they can walk, you can do things with a baby.
You can do the most when their arms are so short that they can't grab things.
@hamjudo when they can grab things break a cracker/cookie in half and put one in each hand. They will be unwilling to let go of either half to grab anything. Of course then they get sticky, but it makes taking them anywhere where grabbing things is a problem much easier.
Adorable. Huge job. I remember it well. Now I actually have too much time in my old age. There is a balance somewhere along the line where life is fairly easygoing and predictable. I can't remember the exact day, for that is about as long as it lasted! Precious - cherish the time.
Seems like there's standard time, daylight saving time, and baby time. Baby time wins, we have to live with it. It won't be too long until longer naps, though, and hopefully she'll sleep through the night. You'll remember these times fondly when she's bigger.
Time management and babies do not belong in the same sentence. It's not possible. However you will get better at multi-tasking with a baby in your arms. Easiest to manage when they are not mobile. Impossible when they are toddlers. Great experiences when they think you are brilliant all-knowing and willing to do whatever you think up - only lasts a few years. You are on your own with teenagers - they will be available occasionally but most of the time doing their own thing with friends. You will have a glut of time when they leave for college. Enjoy all the time with them that you can while they are willing to be around you.
My son just turned one and I still suck at time management with him as well. All I can say is it teaches you to prioritize tasks.. there are some less important things that just can't get done.. and I hate it.
One suggestion you can use is look into the app TaskRabbit. It allows you someone $20 to do something mundane like all of your laundry or tidying up the house. I haven't tried it yet, but I'm really tempted to.
You can also look into wearing the baby, like in a Tula or something.
@yankeesrule omg..how are you not kissing those piggies, or knees, or elbows or cheeks right now? He is tooo adorble, love the shirt!
My husband found that covering all naked body parts of my children helped keep me on task.. ;) my 13 year old had ripped jeans on yesterday..her knee was kissed...sigh..happiness is...
Parents read how to books. Babies don't. Babies cry, and don't follow the rule book. Trust yourself. It will eventually fall into place, even if that means chaos every now and then. You don't suck. Your expectations may be too high, your little angel doesn't expect perfection from you. Most of all don't compare yourself with others. When they say this goes by fast- Believe Me- it does. Enjoy the journey.
Well here are some of the things I have said over the years:
1) There were good reasons why I adopted. The fact that I can't think of any of them right now is not good enough reason to disrupt. 2) There are good reasons why some species eat their young. Too bad CPS (DHS) takes a dim view of that. 3) Eventually she'll grow up and move out, if I don't kill her first. 4) It's (fill in the blank for the, generally, teenaged behavior) cause for justifiable homicide. Right? 5) Maybe I'll get lucky and get kidnapped by pirates on a tall ship while in or around St. Thomas. Don't send ransom for at least a month.
It's a life style change. We spend so much time preparing for the child that we forget to prepare ourselves for the change in our lives having a kid makes. Not all of that change is good. A lot of it is. Hormones and baby face sucks you in until you are too sleep deprived and/or have cabin fever. Then you are willing to sell your soul, your kid, and your yet to be born second born for an uninterrupted night's sleep and a day to yourself. Enough sleep makes it easier to get things done, be more efficient, etc. In fact staying up all night leaves you as cognitively impaired as if you were legally drunk. Much harder to be efficient when you are in that state. Not getting enough sleep leads to impairments as well. Too bad babies don't sleep when we need them to.
You will eventually get better at managing your life. It takes practice, a change in priorities, and giving up on having a life for a while. My daughter once asked me why I didn't have a boyfriend. I told her to have a boyfriend you needed to have a life. I didn't have a life. I didn't tell her that she was the primary reason why I didn't have a life (child with significant issues = no spare time, then add to that grad school and working).
Meanwhile use whatever works to soothe the kid be it a vibrating bouncy, battery operated swing, car seat on the washing machine... so that you can get things done. As others suggest, wear the baby in a baby carrier. And realize that this too shall pass. Oh and when the baby naps either nap yourself so you aren't so bone tired or use the time to get things done if getting things done and thus a zombie existence has to trump sleep.
I have not read thru all the comments so I am not sure what has been already said. I will tell you this. Time management is very difficult at first - it was for me with the first because I was use to doing as I please for 42 years. Now my time is managed with children/job/and the rest of the shit that needs to be done.
My life now consists of helping my children becoming better than I am. I have no life to be honest, my life revolves around my 2 children and would have it no other way. While they are only 5 and 8 that time has passed so quickly, and the next time I blink they will be gone from of the house and pursuing their own lives. Hopefully I can enjoy my retirement years in the future knowing I did everything to making them kind, loving, responsible adults who will then pass this on to their children. I will then die happy.
It is still very early and you are in the transition phase, you will fall into a rhythm in time. It's all worth it.
@mikibell Lol! I forgot about that. Nah, I really do appreciate when someone has something nice to say about me. Probably because it happens so infrequently - which is my own fault due to my online persona :) (but I don't want that getting out so don't tell anyone)
@mfladd my huh had more to do with me though..you summed up what I feel about my kids, and why I do what I do. I just never thought of it the way you put it. I want to be the best for my children-- I knew that -- and omg, grandchildren! I never considered I was also making them better people.
@mikibell I know. I was actually making more of a joke about the huh, as I always do. I am glad was able to post something that gave you a huh... moment.
And you are making future generations of little mikibell's better people and you deserve a spa day for it! Kudos to you :)
@mfladd Sniff....that's freaking beautiful. You are raising what will be two awesome, smart, funny, and good humans. The fact that it concerns you as much as it does means you're doing something right!
@ceagee I am that person. Why is it that when someone asks for advice or help, there are always a few people who take that as a lack of gratitude or appreciation? I did not go into detail here of what we went through to create, carry, and have our daughter - but it's strange to assume that anyone doesn't love and appreciate their child. I wasn't even complaining, so much as asking for advice in finding balance.
@Thumperchick Ouch. For someone who accuses me of making unkind assumptions, you turned around and did just that to me. And you couldn’t be further from the truth. oh how things get lost in translation on the internet. I’m a pretty straightforward person. If something strikes you as being off on something I post, please ask : "Hey ceagee, this sounded like xyz to me and it bothered me, what’s going on?" sort of thing. Much better than assumptions, don’t you think ? ~Best
Asked a friend on your behalf. She had 3, nicely spaced.
First off, she just laughed a cruel laugh.
Suggestions (many are repeats) 1 sleep when they sleep
2 infancy front papoose (and you thought you would enjoy not being pregnant!
3 swings
4 car rides
5 pet interactions when old enuf
6 give them crackers in each hand as described above - not only keeps hand busy...also "buys me 5 minutes". If someone complains about floor crumbs, point at vacuum closet. Do not offer to or think of doing vacuum work yourself unless you have health dept level issues. The messiness will find a tolerable level.
7 give up on time mgmt and quit worrying. Do whats in front of you. You will find your balance in time. Let things go to hell a bit if it wont kill your future, finances, or family.
8 eat healthy for energy. Sometimes dont eat healthy cause you just wanna eat crap right this sec so do it.
9 if you have s new baby, your body/brain are still full of hormones and stuff. This will wear off.
10 keep yourself in good cheer. If you really cant manage that, talk to someone. This is important.
11 exercise - walking, exerbike, whatever, it helps.
12 she tried not to use tv as babysitter but sometimes gave in. She disconnected cable for fear of nickelodeon 24/7. Instead she bought gorgeous nature dvd's, Attenborough type stuff, a bunch of used ones, and other kid friendly documentaries, and rotated them. Garage sales and used stuff from ebay.
13 she used streaming classical music, also jazz & blues, which her infants liked. When toddlers she started them on young kids audiobooks mixed w music.
14 She also used audiobooks for herself. 1 earbud in, 1 out, so she didnt miss other noises. At first the constant start/stop of the book drove her nuts. Then she got used to it and it was fine. She learned to keep track of the books and not get frustrated in spite of interruptions. She started doing stop/start on purpose w nonfiction books, because she found she absorbed info better. Audiobooks also kept her from feeling she had been kidnapped away from the adult world. FWIW, almost all audiobook sw/apps have "roll back 15-30 sec" features, so you can get your head back into it. She used one of those LG Tone headsets, because you can control the book from the headset.
15 make sure your sleep is quality sleep if can. Decent mattress/pillows is good. If you have sinus issues, sleep apnea, acid reflux, snoring, etc, your sleep qual can crash, your depression and appetite can soar, and you will always feel like you're living on 1 hour's sleep.
16 your time mgmt skills will return, re-made, in time. It's like adjusting from being a solo operator operating on a single task in a cabin alone, to suddenly becoming an air traffic controller at LAX. If you keep healthy and keep optimism, you will get v good at this new time mgmt with diff stresses and demands quite soon - so good that you will wonder why you ever thought you had real skills in thd old days.
17 one big trick is to forgive/not worry about your failures now. If you were to suddenly move to a country where you dont speak the language, your skills would be crap and you couldnt do anything. So what? In several months you'll be decent. In several years you'll be a total pro.
@thumperchick if you need a few hours of free baby rocking, I will be near RPI for 2 weeks in April. I would benefit from the comfort of baby drool after dealing with crazy business users!
I'm good for 3 hours of free babysitting. After that I remember how difficult babies really are! Honestly it is amazing first kids ever survive, and they all do! Somehow, after it is all over, you miss it. See up there ^^^^ mikbell needs a few hours of baby too!
Do you have close family or friends. A good friend or family member who is cool with coming over and either hanging out while folding laundry or cooking or taking care of kiddo.
@CaptAmehrican Our local friends that could/would have new kidlets of their own. Ours isn't too bad, I'm just learning how to add me back into the equation, if that makes sense.
@mikibell Yes and no. Letting a newborn/young infant cry is detrimental to them after a fairly short period. However, having a stressed out parent is more detrimental - so it's a judgment call. We've been seriously blessed, @PuppyCat is the most laid back baby I've ever met, so that hasn't been an issue for us so far.
@mikibell Eventually parents learn to tell when a toddler is crying because they're angry. Mine used to fall asleep mid-yell if she was too tired. If I woke her up to move her from the car to the house, she'd resume crying- eyes firmly shut. Once in bed, she'd grumble, then go out totally. Sorry, kids can be funny.
@OldCatLady now if I could only tell when my son is awake! The other day, I woke him up to see if he wanted pancakes. He sat up in bed, holding his tablet aloft. I thought he was stretching, asked again about pancakes. He took his tablet and tried to balance it on a stylus. Then he looked up at me and ask, "Why do I have to do this?" At that point, I gave up on the pancakes and checked for fever. I feared he was delirious. Turns out he was still asleep! He is a strange child.
Mine is 4 now. We've found a balance that works for us. I also work full time, go to grad school full time, Coach and train 2 roller derby teams/preside for one, serve on the board for habitat for humanity, and serve as secretary of the district Elks association. Take time for yourself, enlist the help of others (coparent, grandparents, observant dogs.... pretty much anyone who will let you pee alone. ) Other parents will understand if you're late, show up with baby socks stuck to your sweater, doze off or start crying mid meeting. .. etc.
We all suck at it at first. My 4 year old (4 years, 2 1/2 months) is fairly adept at reading and is doing addition and subtraction, so my horrible time management and cleaning skills don't seem to have damaged him too much.
Just wait until the "I want to do it" stage starts. I mean seriously it shouldn't take 3 minutes to put on a pair of socks...but it does...once they get good at it.
@sohmageek I did! I gave up. Worked out great. Really though, I squeezed in time for me - at home yoga + a shower = 45 min of just me time every other day. Was just what I needed. Dad gets baby cuddles, Mom gets exercise and headspace, Baby gets a happier Mom.
@Thumperchick I'm looking at joining a gym... I HATE paying money for a Gym membership... but... I need to lose some weight... may as well go once a week...
@Thumperchick meh... Work will pay for 50-100% depending on where I go... :) What I'm hoping to do is the treadmill and the rowing machine... I could do them for 30 minutes a week/30 minutes twice a week. Now I need to find some workout clothing... as I Think I have slacks and jeans only..
Hey, @Thumperhick, @mikibell has volunteered to be in charge of babysitting at our Meht Up. Isn't that wonderful? So bring that cute little one and kickback and enjoy yourself for a while.
@Barney Heck, I volunteered to babysit for two weeks for @thumperchick -- after working all day with crazy people (might have turned her off with that part of the offer!)
@Barney, @Thumperhick, @mikibell My neighbor's kid is really obnoxious and keeps kicking his soccer ball into the side of my house...I might have an extra kid for y'all to share...I'm pretty sure he just speaks Spanish so make sure you have a translator or something for him. Oh and I won't need a claim ticket or anything like that.
@mikibell Splendido! Now I just have to figure out how to get him into the gunny sack...kids can breathe in gunny sacks right? I'll swing by Wal-Mart and pick up some Captain Crunch and some Lunchables...those are still a thing right?
you don't. the child will take more and more of your time. you will still love the child.
the child will want to "help" fold the laundry by diving into the pile of folded clothes or flipping over the laundry basket. you will wonder why you had the child. you will still love the child.
the child will say funny things like, "too slow sucka!". and you will love the child even more:
the child will finally go off to school. then, you might get some time back to manage.
@carl669 - I'm convinced that the reason they're so adorable when little is so it's too hard to be mad at them. Your son is just getting cuter, bet he can get away with anything.
@carl669 Adorable. And who is the lab type in the background. Was he/she there before or after kid ?
How do they feel about each other ? Are there other pets ? Just wondering. I had my first dog at age 2. Was my best friend ever.
@ceagee that would be Dexter. he was around for about a year before the child showed up. at first, dexter didn't know what to make of the screaming, wiggly human. any time he would get close, dexter just walked away. but then, dexter figured out the small human had a propensity to drop food and just started following him around.
@carl669 your kid is awesome.
@carl669 good lord that kid is cute.
@hollboll he knows it and it's curse i tell you. he uses it to get out of everything.
me: hey! stop doing (insert dangerous activity)!!!
him: ooookaaaay.
eyes go to floor, arms come up
him: big hug?
@carl669
have another one.. it gets easier with 2.. :) Don't sweat it.. most new parents have this trouble.. ditto what @carl669 said.
Plus she is just precious!!
@mikibell I'm not falling for that!
@Thumperchick it is not a trick.. at that point you just admit defeat!!!! ;) Also a second child will rat out the first child in a heartbeat!! (each way)
Yep, you sound like a normal parent. I'd be worried if you said, "Hey, this is easy! What should I do with all my free time."
Give it about 18 years or so. It will get easier.
BTW: cute kid. Congrats!
Pawn her off on the grandparents. They will make time to spend with her regardless of what is going on and then you get some free time.
I'm getting a general consensus of "if you are with the baby, there is no such thing as time management." Is that about right? Because I kind of miss being able to check in here a few times a day - and actually process what I'm reading.
@Thumperchick
@Thumperchick Front packs now, backpacks later. The kid in the pack was happy as long as I was moving. Once they can walk on their own, the backpack is only good for naps. Until they can walk, you can do things with a baby.
You can do the most when their arms are so short that they can't grab things.
@hamjudo when they can grab things break a cracker/cookie in half and put one in each hand. They will be unwilling to let go of either half to grab anything. Of course then they get sticky, but it makes taking them anywhere where grabbing things is a problem much easier.
Adorable. Huge job. I remember it well. Now I actually have too much time in my old age. There is a balance somewhere along the line where life is fairly easygoing and predictable. I can't remember the exact day, for that is about as long as it lasted! Precious - cherish the time.
Seems like there's standard time, daylight saving time, and baby time. Baby time wins, we have to live with it. It won't be too long until longer naps, though, and hopefully she'll sleep through the night. You'll remember these times fondly when she's bigger.
You don't have time now, you have a baby. Very Zen. Enough about you, why aren't we seeing more baby pictures?
@OldCatLady I posted a new picture for you.
@Thumperchick Where?
Time management and babies do not belong in the same sentence. It's not possible. However you will get better at multi-tasking with a baby in your arms. Easiest to manage when they are not mobile. Impossible when they are toddlers. Great experiences when they think you are brilliant all-knowing and willing to do whatever you think up - only lasts a few years. You are on your own with teenagers - they will be available occasionally but most of the time doing their own thing with friends. You will have a glut of time when they leave for college. Enjoy all the time with them that you can while they are willing to be around you.
My son just turned one and I still suck at time management with him as well. All I can say is it teaches you to prioritize tasks.. there are some less important things that just can't get done.. and I hate it.
One suggestion you can use is look into the app TaskRabbit. It allows you someone $20 to do something mundane like all of your laundry or tidying up the house. I haven't tried it yet, but I'm really tempted to.
You can also look into wearing the baby, like in a Tula or something.
@yankeesrule omg..how are you not kissing those piggies, or knees, or elbows or cheeks right now? He is tooo adorble, love the shirt!
My husband found that covering all naked body parts of my children helped keep me on task.. ;) my 13 year old had ripped jeans on yesterday..her knee was kissed...sigh..happiness is...
@yankeesrule I looked into TR the other day. I may keep that in my back pocket for a rough week.
Your kid is ridiculously adorable!
The best advice that I received when becoming a father 2 years ago was this: Parenting is a sacrifice.
It's not easy and it never will be. So, uh, get over it?
@luvche21 wasn't looking for easy, but uh, thanks?
@Thumperchick Sorry, didn't mean that as an attack or anything... my attempts at sarcasm on the internet don't always work out so well
Parents read how to books. Babies don't. Babies cry, and don't follow the rule book. Trust yourself. It will eventually fall into place, even if that means chaos every now and then. You don't suck. Your expectations may be too high, your little angel doesn't expect perfection from you. Most of all don't compare yourself with others. When they say this goes by fast- Believe Me- it does. Enjoy the journey.
Well here are some of the things I have said over the years:
1) There were good reasons why I adopted. The fact that I can't think of any of them right now is not good enough reason to disrupt.
2) There are good reasons why some species eat their young. Too bad CPS (DHS) takes a dim view of that.
3) Eventually she'll grow up and move out, if I don't kill her first.
4) It's (fill in the blank for the, generally, teenaged behavior) cause for justifiable homicide. Right?
5) Maybe I'll get lucky and get kidnapped by pirates on a tall ship while in or around St. Thomas. Don't send ransom for at least a month.
It's a life style change. We spend so much time preparing for the child that we forget to prepare ourselves for the change in our lives having a kid makes. Not all of that change is good. A lot of it is. Hormones and baby face sucks you in until you are too sleep deprived and/or have cabin fever. Then you are willing to sell your soul, your kid, and your yet to be born second born for an uninterrupted night's sleep and a day to yourself. Enough sleep makes it easier to get things done, be more efficient, etc. In fact staying up all night leaves you as cognitively impaired as if you were legally drunk. Much harder to be efficient when you are in that state. Not getting enough sleep leads to impairments as well. Too bad babies don't sleep when we need them to.
You will eventually get better at managing your life. It takes practice, a change in priorities, and giving up on having a life for a while. My daughter once asked me why I didn't have a boyfriend. I told her to have a boyfriend you needed to have a life. I didn't have a life. I didn't tell her that she was the primary reason why I didn't have a life (child with significant issues = no spare time, then add to that grad school and working).
Meanwhile use whatever works to soothe the kid be it a vibrating bouncy, battery operated swing, car seat on the washing machine... so that you can get things done. As others suggest, wear the baby in a baby carrier. And realize that this too shall pass. Oh and when the baby naps either nap yourself so you aren't so bone tired or use the time to get things done if getting things done and thus a zombie existence has to trump sleep.
I have not read thru all the comments so I am not sure what has been already said. I will tell you this. Time management is very difficult at first - it was for me with the first because I was use to doing as I please for 42 years. Now my time is managed with children/job/and the rest of the shit that needs to be done.
My life now consists of helping my children becoming better than I am. I have no life to be honest, my life revolves around my 2 children and would have it no other way. While they are only 5 and 8 that time has passed so quickly, and the next time I blink they will be gone from of the house and pursuing their own lives. Hopefully I can enjoy my retirement years in the future knowing I did everything to making them kind, loving, responsible adults who will then pass this on to their children. I will then die happy.
It is still very early and you are in the transition phase, you will fall into a rhythm in time.
It's all worth it.
@mfladd huh..nicely put.. Can I steal this when people say I should take more time for myself?
@mikibell You certainly may. And your huh..., makes you seem surprised :)
@mfladd not about you, at all..but I have been threatened in the past for calling out your strengths :)
@mikibell Lol! I forgot about that. Nah, I really do appreciate when someone has something nice to say about me. Probably because it happens so infrequently - which is my own fault due to my online persona :) (but I don't want that getting out so don't tell anyone)
@mfladd my huh had more to do with me though..you summed up what I feel about my kids, and why I do what I do. I just never thought of it the way you put it. I want to be the best for my children-- I knew that -- and omg, grandchildren! I never considered I was also making them better people.
@mikibell I know. I was actually making more of a joke about the huh, as I always do. I am glad was able to post something that gave you a huh... moment.
And you are making future generations of little mikibell's better people and you deserve a spa day for it! Kudos to you :)
@mfladd Sniff....that's freaking beautiful. You are raising what will be two awesome, smart, funny, and good humans. The fact that it concerns you as much as it does means you're doing something right!
Embrace the madness ! There are a lot of persons who would be happy to have her and all the craziness forthwith. How lucky you are.
@ceagee I am that person. Why is it that when someone asks for advice or help, there are always a few people who take that as a lack of gratitude or appreciation?
I did not go into detail here of what we went through to create, carry, and have our daughter - but it's strange to assume that anyone doesn't love and appreciate their child. I wasn't even complaining, so much as asking for advice in finding balance.
@Thumperchick Ouch. For someone who accuses me of making unkind assumptions, you turned around and did just that to me.
And you couldn’t be further from the truth. oh how things get lost in translation on the internet.
I’m a pretty straightforward person. If something strikes you as being off on something I post, please ask : "Hey ceagee, this sounded like xyz to me and it bothered me, what’s going on?" sort of thing. Much better than assumptions, don’t you think ?
~Best
Don't worry, time flies and it will seem like they're heading off to college next week.
You might be able to catch up on missed sleep then.
Asked a friend on your behalf. She had 3, nicely spaced.
First off, she just laughed a cruel laugh.
Suggestions (many are repeats)
1 sleep when they sleep
2 infancy front papoose (and you thought you would enjoy not being pregnant!
3 swings
4 car rides
5 pet interactions when old enuf
6 give them crackers in each hand as described above - not only keeps hand busy...also "buys me 5 minutes". If someone complains about floor crumbs, point at vacuum closet. Do not offer to or think of doing vacuum work yourself unless you have health dept level issues. The messiness will find a tolerable level.
7 give up on time mgmt and quit worrying. Do whats in front of you. You will find your balance in time. Let things go to hell a bit if it wont kill your future, finances, or family.
8 eat healthy for energy. Sometimes dont eat healthy cause you just wanna eat crap right this sec so do it.
9 if you have s new baby, your body/brain are still full of hormones and stuff. This will wear off.
10 keep yourself in good cheer. If you really cant manage that, talk to someone. This is important.
11 exercise - walking, exerbike, whatever, it helps.
12 she tried not to use tv as babysitter but sometimes gave in. She disconnected cable for fear of nickelodeon 24/7. Instead she bought gorgeous nature dvd's, Attenborough type stuff, a bunch of used ones, and other kid friendly documentaries, and rotated them. Garage sales and used stuff from ebay.
13 she used streaming classical music, also jazz & blues, which her infants liked. When toddlers she started them on young kids audiobooks mixed w music.
14 She also used audiobooks for herself. 1 earbud in, 1 out, so she didnt miss other noises. At first the constant start/stop of the book drove her nuts. Then she got used to it and it was fine. She learned to keep track of the books and not get frustrated in spite of interruptions. She started doing stop/start on purpose w nonfiction books, because she found she absorbed info better. Audiobooks also kept her from feeling she had been kidnapped away from the adult world. FWIW, almost all audiobook sw/apps have "roll back 15-30 sec" features, so you can get your head back into it. She used one of those LG Tone headsets, because you can control the book from the headset.
15 make sure your sleep is quality sleep if can. Decent mattress/pillows is good. If you have sinus issues, sleep apnea, acid reflux, snoring, etc, your sleep qual can crash, your depression and appetite can soar, and you will always feel like you're living on 1 hour's sleep.
16 your time mgmt skills will return, re-made, in time. It's like adjusting from being a solo operator operating on a single task in a cabin alone, to suddenly becoming an air traffic controller at LAX. If you keep healthy and keep optimism, you will get v good at this new time mgmt with diff stresses and demands quite soon - so good that you will wonder why you ever thought you had real skills in thd old days.
17 one big trick is to forgive/not worry about your failures now. If you were to suddenly move to a country where you dont speak the language, your skills would be crap and you couldnt do anything. So what? In several months you'll be decent. In several years you'll be a total pro.
@f00l I really like this. Thank you.
@thumperchick if you need a few hours of free baby rocking, I will be near RPI for 2 weeks in April. I would benefit from the comfort of baby drool after dealing with crazy business users!
I'm good for 3 hours of free babysitting. After that I remember how difficult babies really are! Honestly it is amazing first kids ever survive, and they all do! Somehow, after it is all over, you miss it. See up there ^^^^ mikbell needs a few hours of baby too!
Life would be so much easier if they popped out with instruction manuals attached.
That's the one set of directions I might actually read.
@Pavlov you obviously never popped out one of them puppies..I can't imagine if I had to give birth to a manual toooo!
@mikibell manuals sure sound much pointier than a softish baby
@Pavlov
If they came with instructions tattoo'd on their little bodies, i would start liking full body tattoos.
@Pavlov ouch!
Do you have close family or friends. A good friend or family member who is cool with coming over and either hanging out while folding laundry or cooking or taking care of kiddo.
@CaptAmehrican Our local friends that could/would have new kidlets of their own. Ours isn't too bad, I'm just learning how to add me back into the equation, if that makes sense.
@Thumperchick being in your own equation as yourself and not as mom doesn't seem to happen. Instead figure out how to fit into the mom component?
@thumperchick .. our pediatrician also said that it doesn't hurt a baby to cry a little bit. ... I struggled with this.. but they do live :)
@mikibell Yes and no. Letting a newborn/young infant cry is detrimental to them after a fairly short period. However, having a stressed out parent is more detrimental - so it's a judgment call. We've been seriously blessed, @PuppyCat is the most laid back baby I've ever met, so that hasn't been an issue for us so far.
@Thumperchick It broke my heart..one of the only bits of advice I ignored. :}
@mikibell Eventually parents learn to tell when a toddler is crying because they're angry. Mine used to fall asleep mid-yell if she was too tired. If I woke her up to move her from the car to the house, she'd resume crying- eyes firmly shut. Once in bed, she'd grumble, then go out totally. Sorry, kids can be funny.
@OldCatLady now if I could only tell when my son is awake! The other day, I woke him up to see if he wanted pancakes. He sat up in bed, holding his tablet aloft. I thought he was stretching, asked again about pancakes. He took his tablet and tried to balance it on a stylus. Then he looked up at me and ask, "Why do I have to do this?" At that point, I gave up on the pancakes and checked for fever. I feared he was delirious. Turns out he was still asleep! He is a strange child.
Mine is 4 now. We've found a balance that works for us. I also work full time, go to grad school full time, Coach and train 2 roller derby teams/preside for one, serve on the board for habitat for humanity, and serve as secretary of the district Elks association.
Take time for yourself, enlist the help of others (coparent, grandparents, observant dogs.... pretty much anyone who will let you pee alone. )
Other parents will understand if you're late, show up with baby socks stuck to your sweater, doze off or start crying mid meeting. .. etc.
We all suck at it at first.
My 4 year old (4 years, 2 1/2 months) is fairly adept at reading and is doing addition and subtraction, so my horrible time management and cleaning skills don't seem to have damaged him too much.
She's precious, despite her lack of appreciation for your skills
Just wait until the "I want to do it" stage starts. I mean seriously it shouldn't take 3 minutes to put on a pair of socks...but it does...once they get good at it.
@MrMark does that stage end? My 17 year old runs to his room to "slip on his shoes" so we can leave the house and it takes him 5 minutes to re-emerge.
@mollama five minutes is record time!
@mollama My husband does that sometimes. I don't think it ever ends ;)
Instructional video.
hey @thumperchick How's it going? Did you figure this out.... if so let me know how? ;) Maybe @Studerc can school us both in this... ;)
@sohmageek I did! I gave up. Worked out great.
Really though, I squeezed in time for me - at home yoga + a shower = 45 min of just me time every other day. Was just what I needed. Dad gets baby cuddles, Mom gets exercise and headspace, Baby gets a happier Mom.
@Thumperchick
@mikibell WOW that is a large smiley face!!
@Thumperchick I'm looking at joining a gym... I HATE paying money for a Gym membership... but... I need to lose some weight... may as well go once a week...
@sohmageek start at home. Youtube has tons of videos for workouts.
@Thumperchick meh... Work will pay for 50-100% depending on where I go... :) What I'm hoping to do is the treadmill and the rowing machine... I could do them for 30 minutes a week/30 minutes twice a week. Now I need to find some workout clothing... as I Think I have slacks and jeans only..
Hey, @Thumperhick, @mikibell has volunteered to be in charge of babysitting at our Meht Up. Isn't that wonderful? So bring that cute little one and kickback and enjoy yourself for a while.
@Barney Heck, I volunteered to babysit for two weeks for @thumperchick -- after working all day with crazy people (might have turned her off with that part of the offer!)
@Barney, @Thumperhick, @mikibell My neighbor's kid is really obnoxious and keeps kicking his soccer ball into the side of my house...I might have an extra kid for y'all to share...I'm pretty sure he just speaks Spanish so make sure you have a translator or something for him.
Oh and I won't need a claim ticket or anything like that.
@therealjrn Only speaks Spanish, huh? @mikibell, do you speak Spanish?
@Barney si..me llamo es Miki..como estas?
@therealjrn Chances are good the ball stays outside at night, in which case it can come home with you. Permanently.
@OldCatLady Good idea! Or we can give him to @mikibell to babysit at our Meht Up, lose the claim ticket, and @therealjrn's problem is solved.
@mikibell Splendido! Now I just have to figure out how to get him into the gunny sack...kids can breathe in gunny sacks right? I'll swing by Wal-Mart and pick up some Captain Crunch and some Lunchables...those are still a thing right?
@Barney I like the way you think! I'll be the guy in the nondescript windowless panel van.
@therealjrn
A guy came over to me recently and asked me if I wanted candy...
Then he asked me if I was registered to vote.
(Tbh, the 2nd part scared me more.)