Thoughts and prayers
30My sister called me Saturday to tell me she has a “small” malignancy. She’ll see a surgeon sometime this week for the “what’s next?” appointment.
Neither of us is a Christian, but if you occasionally send thoughts and/or hopeful wishes out into the great void, I’d be grateful for a moment or two on her behalf.
- 17 comments, 27 replies
- Comment
Will do. Good luck
Of course. Does your sister live close? Give her a physical hug if you are able from us. I am sending virtual ones to both of you.
@speediedelivery Thank you for the hugs! Unfortunately she lives about a 2-1/2 mile trip from here. We occasionally go down there for a day-visit, though, and then drive home in the evening. It’s an annoying but very doable thing. And she has her husband of 30+ years there with her.
@speediedelivery: I just realized I typed “2-1/2 mile trip from here.” I hope you guessed I meant 2-1/2 hour trip from my town to hers.
@magic_cave Yes, I did interpret it that way.
Happy to read the news below! I am also the oldest. Only one sister and I socialize often even though most are geographically close. I don’t see this changing but some is a generational gap. I am enough older to be a parent to most and grandparent to a few. The sister that I am close to is the Fun one and I am the Old Serious Awkward one.
And fine. I will stop putting off that appointment and call this week. I am not too far behind but I am due. I suppose I should do the regular checkup too.
I will continue to send good thoughts and extra big hugs!
@speediedelivery Yes be sure you do. I’ve had breast cancer on both sides and that sucks. Better it gets caught early if you ever get it.
One of mine wasn’t caught early at all due to “being too young” for a mammogram and “everyone your age has lumpy breasts”. Umm finally after a 4 year battle with student health services over this (they controlled our health insurance and what would be paid for) I had a 5.5cm lump. I couldn’t sue them for malpractice because they were state employees and I would have had to show it was malpractice with the intent to harm (state laws protected them). The second time, 7 years later, it was out of the blue with a 1cm lump and 4 more that were smaller that, unlike the first time, I didn’t feel. I had dense breasts and that tends to obscure about 30% of BC’s and so these days they do more (or are supposed to do more) to check if your mammogram comes back saying your breasts are dense.
Hoping for the very best outcome for her.
@ruouttaurmind Thank you very much!
Praying for you and your family.
@2many2no Thank you very much!
Make sure she gets a second opinion on both the pathology and the “what’s next” (even if she isn’t planning to be treated there) at an NCI cancer center https://www.cancer.gov/research/nci-role/cancer-centers
Make sure she has a pathology second opinion there too (insurance is required to pay for both). The three times I did that, all three times the pathology changed a little bit and the treatment options in two of the three cases were more current than what the oncologist I had initially seen said. In cancers 2 and 3 I had MD Anderson Cancer Center (Houston, I was 450 miles away) direct traffic on what to do but had the chemo done locally and just had to haul butt out there occasionally. It’s an emotional earthquake for everyone.
If she needs chemo the chemo rooms are cold. I joke this is because what we are really taking part in is the “cancer patient refrigeration project”. Make sure she has a nice warm fleece oversized throw blanket.
Good luck to her.
@Kidsandliz Thank you for all the information. I’ll be sure to send it to as soon as I figure out how to tell her it came from a friend I haven’t met [grin]. She lives a 90-minute drive from one highly rated cancer center, a 2-hour drive from another, and a 2-1/2 hour drive from still another. For the moment, I’m just hoping it’s going to be soooo easy that she can see a local surgeon, get it done, do radiation for a while, and not have to travel at all. (Well, one can always dream, hmmm?)
@magic_cave Even if everything is done locally an apt before she commits to that at one of those three centers you mentioned is a good idea. She is lucky to live so (relatively) close to 3 good centers.
Praying for you and your sister. The “not knowing” stage is always difficult; you just want to do something but you don’t have answers. I know you’ve got plenty of people saying this but feel free to whisper to me through here, I may not know exactly what you’re going through but I’ve had my share of cancer and heart attacks in my family, and I’d be happy to hear from you
@Moose Thank you ever so much for the offer. I’m hoping this will turn out to be as minimal as one could rightfully hope for, but if I need a boost of good vibes you’ll likely hear from me.
I’ll push good vibes, energy, positive thoughts, and prayers as well. If she has chemo, she’ll need warm socks and books or ebooks, too.
@OldCatLady Thank you so much! A friend knits, and my sister lives in what could charitably be called a small-town library. At least those two options can be easily managed!
Prayers for a full recovery for your sister and comfort for both of you are on their way.
@mehcuda67 Thank you so much!
I’m so sorry. I will have both you and your sister in my thoughts, and send you all the positive energy I can.
@Shrdlu Thank you very much. Positive energy is always welcome.
Good Luck to you both. She is fortunate to have you looking out for her…
@chienfou I’m the Big Sister, so it’s my job. Okay, you can stop laughing now. Once you both get past 60 it’s hard to think in terms of big/little sister.
I had the oddest thought last night: she’s the only person who knew me as a child. I don’t think I want to think about that for a while.
@magic_cave - yeah that thought too is part of the emotional earthquake… Makes you think about things you’d rather put off thinking about or not think about at all… Rude thing that cancer gig is. Gets in your face.
@magic_cave
Some jobs we do willingly… some they have to pay us to do…
@chienfou [smile] There are some days I’d need to be paid - a lot - for the job. We’re good for about a two-day visit, after which things get a little tense. My son says it’s because we’re very much alike, which seems unlikely because I’m always sweet, kind, and reasonable and she’s not. [cough cough]
@magic_cave …truly an appropriate use for TWSS!
I am a Christian and just prayed for you and your sister.
@zinimusprime Me too!
@zinimusprime Thank you. All prayers and all good thoughts are totally welcome.
@ripper69 Thank you, thank you. I appreciate that very much.
I appreciate you reaching out in such a vulnerable time. I care. And I bless you, your sister, and your family. And I pray that Jesus would lavish his love on you and overwhelm you with peace, strength, and courage to kick this cancer back to the hell from which it came. I declare 100% healing and restoration! I declare there to come a day you literally put your hand over your mouth in shock, awe, and wonder at how God showed up and showed himself to be REAL, and GOOD, and unbelievably KIND to you, your sister, and your family.
You are not alone!
@LordPancreas Amen–Yea, Yea, It shall be so!
@LordPancreas Thank you very much!
I am so glad she has you for family.
It’s a tough road. I know you will stay together for all of it.
@f00l We lost both parents to lung cancer long ago, mom first, then my dad 20 years later. As we rode in the limo after my dad’s funeral, my sister suddenly said, “I just realized - we’re ORPHANS now!” She was 34, I was 38, so it seemed both silly and sad. She has the best sense of humor I’ve ever known. We and The Spouses will probably depend on that as things wind along. Thank you for your kind comments.
Done.
@lseeber Thank you.
I’m not religious, but I am spiritual; however, above all, I believe in science. Science has proven the efficacy of prayer on healing, so I am praying for your sister.
@Gypsigirl213 Thank you very much.
@magic_cave your sister know anything yet?
UPDATE: The news from my sister’s surgeon seems to be better than we expected. I learned yesterday that The Evil Little Thing is very, very small. She and her spouse were planning to be out of the country for an extended vacation, and the surgeon told her that the delay would be fine. She’ll have surgery on an out-patient basis ( ! ), and then she’ll begin several weeks of daily radiation. The prognosis is very, very good at this point.
Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers!
There is a valuable lesson to be learned from this. She used to get a mammogram every year, but when she turned 60-something she let that schedule lapse. This was her first screening in three or four years. So if you’re a lady-person (or if you love a lady-person), please be sure a mammogram id done yearly. Doing so could make the difference between a doctor discovering a Stage 1 growth or a Stage 4 growth.
And thanks again for all the help!
@magic_cave Very glad to hear!
@magic_cave Yes very lucky. It still won’t stop the stress over having cancer, but at least caught so early increases the odds dramatically that this is the end of it.