Think back to a time before IRKs. Back to the time of the Fukobukuro.

Zott went on a bit of a rant said Wed, Oct 18th 2023 at 5:24am ET

Nestled in my order history is a record of my insanity. My decent into order/Horder madness. A cautionary tale for those who can’t resist the order button. It started innocently enough, but it has lasted me six long years.

It started on July 4th 2017 at 1:53am when I purchased the 10-for-Tuesday: Schick Hydro 5 Men’s & Women’s Stick & Razors Bundle. Only one. Just 10 blades. I needed razors, so why not? But it didn’t stop there.

On October 8th 2017 at 4:40am I purchased three of the 16-pack: Schick Xtreme3 Disposable Razors (Unboxed). Clearly the first ones were just a teaser, and it worked. These were followed on
September 5th 2018 by 113 6-Blade Shaving Razors. A major upgrade from disposables. Clearly I liked them because on October 24th 2018 at 8:01am I bought 117 more.

Clearly I had a problem. Was I a Horder. NO! Not me. Sure, I shave. My face. My head. Sometimes other things. I needed razors. Right?

Yes. Yes I did.

Clearly I was preparing for something. I just didn’t know what. Perhaps an art project. Maybe a supply chain disruption. Maybe a pandemic? Nah, never happen.

And so, during the Mehrathon on December 6th 2018 at 5:00pm, I purchased three of the
54-Pack: 6-Blade Shaving Razor Bundles. 162 cartridges. Did I feel shame? No. I knew I needed them. I had to have them.

For those of you who are not keeping up, I was up to 450 razors. Seems like a lot, but not excessive. Right?

And then Meh cut me off. No more razors. Why? Who knows. But those were the last razors I have purchased.

And so, I have lived six years of shaving bliss. Six-bladed comfort that was well above my lifestyle. Who can afford $3 a blade?? Not me… Well I can, but I won’t. So there I was, living like a millionaire. Enjoying close, nick free shaves for pennies on the dollar. It felt like I was cheating the system. It was delightful.

And now it is over. My razor buying holiday has ended. My income is about to take a huge hit as I am forced back into the razor economy. I can’t imagine what I will do. Amazon? An electric?? Maybe it is time for a beard. I hear they are very popular now.

Or maybe Meh can bring back the razors…

8 comments, 10 replies
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callow said Wed, Oct 18th 2023 at 7:04am ET:

Back when Meh was cutting edge!

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- @callow now they are dull
  
  arbdef said Wed, Oct 18th 2023 at 10:10am ET
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- @arbdef @callow Clearly, nobody’s been changing the cartridges.
  
  werehatrack said Thu, Oct 19th 2023 at 9:16am ET
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KNmeh7 said Wed, Oct 18th 2023 at 10:44am ET:

I, too, own fuko bags. Just like I own my VMP badge. They are equally worthless.

SERIOUSLY. Has there not been even a single idiot with a meh flask say: “what if we finally gave the VMPs something?” How many own social media accounts. How many would post it on instagram. Ya know, the shit that every marketing asshole cares about versus customers for life.

I would bet my VMP wages (which are too many hundreds at this point) that VMPs are the OGs of internet and would gladly blast this shit all over channels that are not a Kardashians ass in a million dollar thong.

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- @KNmeh7 maybe they can send us razors?
  
  Zott said Thu, Oct 19th 2023 at 5:44am ET
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werehatrack said Wed, Oct 18th 2023 at 10:52am ET:

Who the hell is Mr. Beast and why should I care?

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Limewater said Wed, Oct 18th 2023 at 4:10pm ET:

Dude, just buy a Double-Edge safety razor and get blades for pennies.
My razor is a Gillette Tech from the late forties. I think I paid eight dollars for it twelve years ago. Last time I ordered blades I paid about twelve dollars for a 100-pack of Astra stainless steel.
There’s a slight learning curve if you’ve only ever used modern razors, but it’s very manageable.

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- @Limewater I have been there. I got tired of bleaching the bloody towels after every shave.
  
  Zott said Thu, Oct 19th 2023 at 5:39am ET
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- @Zott Huh. I never nick myself with my safety razor except sometimes right at my Adam’s apple, and that’s where I nicked myself modern multi-blade razors, too.
  
  Limewater said Thu, Oct 19th 2023 at 7:05am ET
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- @Limewater @Zott I have a 1918 GEM. After the first week I rarely cut myself and only buy blades once a decade lol. $5 a decade.
  
  arbdef said Thu, Oct 19th 2023 at 2:20pm ET
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werehatrack said Wed, Oct 18th 2023 at 4:23pm ET:

In 1971, Personna ran an ad insert in Sunday newspapers in several large cities, with a free sample of their then new “Personna 74” blade. By means, I acquired all of them that were not delivered in my city, and hauled them home. (It wasn’t all that many, really.) My father declared them to be the best blades he’d ever used. He still had one in his razor handle when he died in 1999. I don’t know if it was the last.

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- @werehatrack this is a level up from my purchase.
  
  Zott said Thu, Oct 19th 2023 at 5:41am ET
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Star2236 said Wed, Oct 18th 2023 at 7:24pm ET:

I would love for meh to do some women’s razors with the aloe around it like Venus does. They cost a fortune.

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haydesigner said Thu, Oct 19th 2023 at 12:09am ET:

Sometimes other things

/giphy Sometimes other things

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Yoda_Daenerys said Thu, Oct 19th 2023 at 12:31am ET:
if i place 2 more orders, i’ll have twice as many as your profile shows (and that’s just from this Meh. account I use).

now, i’m not saying i’m dumber than you, but…

wait, Meh.be i am saying that?
```
 __________________________________
/ there's no more room in the base \
\ ment for this Meh. crap          /
 ----------------------------------
        \   ^__^
         \  (oo)\_______
            (__)\       )\/\
                ||----w |
                ||     ||
```
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- @Yoda_Daenerys, there is more than enough room here in the valley of stupidity for both of us.
  
  Press the order button…
  
  Zott said Thu, Oct 19th 2023 at 5:43am ET
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- @Zott currently, it’s increasingly hard to resist, since i signed up for ‘free’ shipping.
  
  /giphy must resist
  
  /youtube muse resistance
  
  Yoda_Daenerys said Thu, Oct 19th 2023 at 11:22am ET
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- @Yoda_Daenerys @Zott
  “Resistance is floor tile!” --Dyslexocutus of Borg
  
  werehatrack said Thu, Oct 19th 2023 at 11:29am ET
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