The October Goat: A Mediocre Proposal
2Ok! So, it looks like there's a little dispute on who should be October's goat, but I'd like to propose an idea: @JonT is widely considered ripe for goat-hood, being to blame for so many things, including me having to write this very post.
But! @JonT is going to be pretty busy starting up his new gig and isn’t likely able to do is fully goat-ly duties as previous goats have taken on and established as a key aspect of goathood.
So! We need volunteers. Volunteers to post goat-like things throughout the month. Volungoats? Surrogoats? Maybe the first task will be to come up with a terrible pun to call this role.
Clearly! All blame will still go to @JonT for the month of October and all the terrible things within. Even this need to have other people goat up the place? @JonT’s fault. I think you get the picture.
Maybe! People could pick a date (1-31) that they’d do a post, or a day of the week, or stuff could just happen randomly, or it might all be pre-destined and none of what we do or say matters at all and why do we even bother? You know, any of those things! What say you? Anyone up for being a goat-helper for a day?
(Or feel free to just use this topic to revolt and blame/nominate others if you'd like.)
- 12 comments, 71 replies
- Comment
So wait, All the "perks" of goat and none of the blame?
@Bogie PERKS?!?! Bahahahaha. I've been barking up that tree for over a year.
@studerc correction: you have been bleating up that tree...
I will do a day if this plan goes through. Irk's Lunch Quest!
Uuummmmm....if JonT cannot GOAT, as expected. @jaremelz is October GOAT, based on votes.
(goatiness is one month, so that burnout maybe experienced - hence, the punishment.)
@mfladd I tend to agree about @jaremelz I will say since the goat thing @christinewas seems to be very quiet. Eerily quiet.
@sohmageek Haha. I swear my silence has nothing to do with goat fears (I'm safe) and is 100% due to limited internet access while traveling and way too much life happening when I got home. I hope to be back soon. All is relatively well, but I've been feeling really sick and have a lot of work that requires pressing through instead of resting.
See @sohmageek I didn't do anything bad! This time, and never to @christinewas . I've missed you terribly!
@jaremelz I'm guessing @sohmageek has still been around, so I'm assuming you're saying you've missed me terribly. Thanks! And likewise! I think my sanity may depend upon getting back in here, but I have a lot going on right now that is making it impossible. Hopefully I can make it back before I pass the point of no return in crazy land.
@christinewas We'll take you back before or after, any way you can get here.
@christinewas I missed you too. But I will deny it if you tell anybody!
@christinewas Of course I mean you! I'm sorry you've got so much going on. And what @KDemo said, we don't care what condition you're in, we just want you back! Although, hopefully you don't go too crazy, for your own sake.
We've had an absentee goat before . . .
While I strongly believe @jaremelz should be the October goat, if we're going with your plan, I'd like to sign up for any weekend in October to do goat things.
I proposed goating both @jaremelz and @JonT.
Maybe even permagoat the latter?
A Mediocre Counter Proposal
@JonT was elected goat, so let's make him Goat Emeritus. He doesn't have to serve, but he has the goat title. Then we give October's goathood to @jaremelz (October really is the perfect month for her). Win, win for everyone.
I just wanted to put in my two cents, for what it's worth (about tree fitty on the black market) and then I'll be backing away from all this slowly and not turning my back until I'm at a safe distance.
This has become a bit too complicated. Whoever gets the most votes, that's the only person who should be the goat, regardless of their level of participation. If they can be here every day to take the blame, great. If they can't or don't wish to be heavily involved, well that's just fine too. Lately, goats have been going above and beyond, and I think that's given people a bloated idea of a goat's responsibilities. If he can't be here to answer every single ping, that's ok! If a goat chooses not to deal with it, also a natural part of the goat variable.
There shouldn't be more than one goat at a time, it's complicated and unnecessary. Let his goatdom play out however it will, on his terms, without changing what being the goat is all about. And all of this craziness is putting the cart before the goat. Wait until the last day, count the votes, and name the goat.
Then sit back and let him mediocre the SHIT out of it.
@jaremelz You're serious about not wanting to be the goat, aren't you? If you truly feel this way, let us know and we'll back off. I'm sorry if we have upset you.
@Barney Honestly, I'm just trying to recognize that he's got the most votes. But I think he needs to be asked by the powers that be whether he wants this. I do understand the position of many that the goat should be able to be present and participate. I guess I just meant that if he's what everyone wants but he can't be around much, they should be prepared for him not to be around.
What I don't see the point of is multiple goats or anything like that. It mucks up the goat purpose. I'm not actually opposed to it, to be quite honest. I just like to deny @mfladd anything he wants in life. October is the ONLY month I'd enjoy it.
@jaremelz yup, it is the only month for a Hobgoblin such as yourself!
@jaremelz All right. Well, I've made my proposal, which I think is a sensible solution. I'm tired and I'm going to bed.
@jaremelz You know you could just play "the silent game" with mfladd for the month of October.
@Barney Night night, sweet Barney!
@dashcloud We would both need mittens taped to our hands to keep us off our keyboards.
@jaremelz Yeah, I should've said this - He told me he's up for being designated vote but probably wouldn't be able to be around nearly as much as other goats have been. That's what led me to this, but I agree, it is likely too complicated.
@jaremelz you just want the bar that low for when you are crowned November goat and are blamed for @jont's lack of being a goat in October.
@dave I totally respect if @JonT himself doesn't want goatery for whatever reason. we've had some of our more recent goats go hard on intricate activities and contests and fun stuff and while that's really cool for the community, it's unreasonable for that to be expected of every potential candidate. it's crappy if we took this goofy monthly forum title and made it too intimidating for anybody, really.
@jaremelz Stop making sense. Right now.
(Really, you're right. It's his up and it wouldn't hurt to both honor him as one of us AND give the goat a break to come back down to mediocre levels.)
I guarantee if I'm ever made goat in some catastrophe there will be no daily contests or updates or other such shenanigans, just blame and recriminations. So I say make as much or as little of it as you want, whoever gets saddled with it!
goodness gracious more of this though
@dave. Fuck it. I'll be goat for another month. I don't want to go anyway. I'll keep the scavenger hunt going. Maybe I can channel some of the prior goats. Give @jont a full month to get his shit together before he gets the full on goat!
@sohmageek @JonT for ThanksGoating!
@sohmageek I need to lay some blame right now, before I break.
This has been the day from hell. I don't mean a little bad, I mean epic tons of shit. More than I think we see in a year. Please, goat, send aspirin for the hangover I'll be having in the morning.
@jaremelz Very sorry to hear that. I hope for your sake things get better sooner rather than later.
@dashcloud Thanks. I think we've seen more crap in one day than in a year.
@jaremelz Sorry you've had such a crappy day. Curse you @sohmageek . And double curse cause when I went to post this a couple hours ago my internet went down !!!
@ceagee I'm sorry. Maybe this youtube will help you? However it is very NSFW
@jaremelz you're not my mother or grandmother are you? You don't look like it. But holy fucking shit I had the mother load fight with them last night. It was a double dose (very good ipa) and moonshine night last night. I could use some aspirin this morning. I'm not trying the distract method of dealing either. I truly hope things are getting better!
let me know if I can help more!
@jaremelz Third Monday of the week? Splattered on the ceiling and dripping down the walls?
@OldCatLady Oh, a Maine Coon! That's my kitty. I am trying to get through what's landed on my family's lap, it won't be easy. I might need a few of your lovely gentlemen to get through.
@jaremelz I have them lined up. Tell me when you need a dose. In the meantime, how about a ship to take you away from it all?
@OldCatLady It's so magical! I'd be on board without a look back, if I could.
@jaremelz @OldCatLady May I come, too?
@Barney Without question, you are coming with!
@jaremelz Yay! Will you swing by and pick me up? Just look for the yard with the scarecrow in front and the little black dog on the porch. Don't go in the backyard, the lion is no longer a coward; he left tooth marks in the tin man.
@Barney @jaremelz I'm sending a car to pick you up. There's plenty of room, anybody else want to come?
@OldCatLady Nice wheels. Just honk the horn and I'll come running.
@OldCatLady Woohoo! I'm so ready. My bags are packed.
@jaremelz @barney The chauffeur is just taking a shower before he leaves. I'll tell him to hurry.
@OldCatLady Exactly what @Barney just said.
@jaremelz delete your comment, I'm making a change to mine.
@jaremelz Oh hell, never mind. Nothing's going right today.
@Barney well damn. I'm sorry.
@jaremelz It's okay. I can blame you for this screw up tomorrow.
@OldCatLady Me! I want to come! Please! @jaremelz, @barney, do you mind?
@OldCatLady I'm sorry he's been delayed a little bit more. ;-)
@jaremelz Sorry you had such a crappy day. If today has not begun to bring resolution and improvement, I hope it has at least been a neutral day that didn't add to the crap pile.
@christinewas Sure, you can come! I'm bringing potato salad.
@Barney He's bringing hot dogs!
@christinewas The crapstorm that has hit us won't pass for a long time. In relying on the internet to distract me.
@jaremelz That sucks. I discovered in August and September that this was a great place to go for distractions. I will do my best to get my butt back here and do my part.
@christinewas @OldCatLady @Barney @ceagee Just fyi, if you see this man walking around the ship, don't be alarmed. It's my Gregg Chillin. I'm smuggling him on board.
@jaremelz @christinewas @OldCatLady @Barney @ceagee Girls night I see.
What about me?
Nevermind, I am just going to bed.
@mfladd The only men allowed better be mostly naked or mixing the cocktails. Or both. Night night!
@jaremelz But I make eggs.
@mfladd Unless you can make eggs benedict, be prepared to be bartender or swimming for it.
Eta, damn that man is fine. Thanks for giving us a little eye candy.
@jaremelz I do make benedict but the hollandaise will be packaged for time purposes (but canadien bacon will be used). Also, little known fact - I actually went to bartending school, and did it for about three years. It was a VERY interesting time.
@mfladd I'll allow it. But truly good things require a little time.
I was a bartender for just under two years in a really rough bar that was mostly rednecks and Boeing mechanics. It was demanding and tough and awesome as hell. I made so much money in that time, I settled all our bills and funded the year we spent in Mexico. Playing bouncer to giant drunk rough around the edges folks is not for wallflowers. But I loved that job.
@jaremelz my liver didn't. We were expected to drink with the customers playing a dice game called ship-captain-crew every night. (living in Wisconsin at the time) Every bar played it. But you are right - money was good.
@mfladd Ah, no drinking for us on shift. We were all female staff, the owners wanted us to drink, but I wouldn't let us. Needed to appear to party, but be sharp. Fun stupid tidbit, it was also my job to keep the singing going during karaoke nights. Oh, 90s, you were special. Still not my strangest job, but that's another story, that'll never be told.
@mfladd @jaremelz I never bartended, but I did work at a liquor store when in school. I had the inside line -- and invitations -- to all the keggers and margarita parties.
@jaremelz Well now I want to know. No fair putting it out there and then the "never be told" bull shit.
@ceagee Sorry, it's late and I've a tiny happy buzz on and I can't go back and delete. I blame. ...oh shit.
@ceagee After thinking about how much I can't stand it when people vague post, you deserve a reply.
Keep in mind that this was the early 90s. I was young and wild, once. I lived next to a bar/club that I and all my friends were in literally more than our own homes. That segued into being offered a job dancing and playing pool. One friend and I danced during club nights, and during the day and other nights, another friend and I played pool, and we were good. Actually, I was good but she was the best pool player I've ever seen. Between both of those things, we brought in big business from the base. At the same time (remember, this was the 90s!), I was doing the oddest job ever, cage dancer at raves.
Now, aren't you sorry you asked? I'll be dying from embarrassment now.
@jaremelz It took courage to admit that. I will freely admit that not even on my best day would I have dared be a cage dancer. OTOH, I got married at 18 and stayed married during the years I SHOULD have been doing stuff like that. You go, girl!
@jaremelz We all have a bit of "wild" in our past, don't we ? Some more so than others. It's all relative.
Sounds like fun ! If you had fun and no one got hurt then I say it's all good. I bet you could mine some great stories from those days : )
Thanks for not leaving me in the dark. Not sorry I asked !
@ceagee I have had fun, and then been lucky enough to have what I have now. Life's been good. But yes, the tales from those days are truly crazy
Here is a simple solution - ASK #jont if he is willing to be a goat. The "rules" we have had in the past is that you can back out of nominations. I did around a year ago due to what was going on in my life. I know some others in the past declined the nomination too.
@Kidsandliz wtf! No one told me I could opt out! Really???? Oh well I ducking loved being goat.
@sohmageek Ha! You just weren't paying attention earlier LOL
@Kidsandliz @Barney also ducked out the second time nominated; death in the family. We got her the next month.
@SIMBM I fell into the black hole of obscurity and was forgotten. (smirky grin)
Allow me to point out that two recent goats have been landed with shi*storms (or tornadoes) shortly after they assumed the title.
@OldCatLady jsmelz already tried to pass blame on twitter but she's goat so who cares what she says