I spent some time tracking down a somewhat rare children’s book, and it actually cost less than the limit, so I threw in batteries, “because I refuse to be the guy who forgot to get batteries”
I got tears and laughs, and it was for a friend who had been through a crappy year, so bonus points for the timing.
Esp if you manage to do it - for real - and also manage to make the not great events and behavior less likely to happen again; and yet be kind and decent with your re-thought boundaries.
@f00l Oh, it’s a process for sure. It sure feels weird to pray for somebody when you wish they would just go DIAF. Eventually though…I was the one set free.
Yeah, I also find that this process gives freedom to the person forgiving. And also gives a better possibility of re-integration to the transgressor. Assuming they are really going to struggle with their worse tendencies and do their best to change.
And at least, after i let go of my own negative feelings, it ask if them I can let go of (no matter how well justified they felt); the events and betrayals no longer own and control my attitudes and reactions.
Forgiveness does not always come easily.
The are individuals in my past who seem to me practically as two different people. Not MPD or similar. Just a few responsible and generous and kind folk who also carried unexpected and unacknowledged profound darkest in them.
Regarding one person, I can still only see one side or the other side when thinking of them.
@f00l I’m fortunate that “my” transgressors weren’t truly evil. My BFF was molested as a child–her mom didn’t believe her. So it was tough. She and her Mom are all good now, but the dude really takes up a lot of room in her head. I don’t have any idea how one gets over something like that.
I didn’t know it at the time, in fact, I just recently discovered that the most meaningful gift I ever gave was a jewelry box that I made for my mom when I was in first grade.
It was made from a cigar box. I glued macaroni (the shell kind) on top of it and then I painted the whole thing black. My teacher tried to talk me into painting it a different color, perhaps a more colorful color like the other kids were doing. But I was in my black impressionist paint period of my life, and I couldn’t be talked out of it.
My teacher cut red construction paper and lined the inside of the box and then she used a gloss lacquer on the shells and outer sides of the box. (Us kids weren’t allowed to lacquer our boxes because she didn’t want us stuck to everything in the classroom.)
The end result? My box was beautiful, it really was, and I was so proud when I gave it to Mom. I guess she liked it, too, because I recently found it in one of her dresser drawers. It’s a little worse for wear, minus a few macaroni shells, but it still had some of her jewelry in it.
Yeah, it now means so much to me, as I think it did to my mom.
I chose “Only materials and labor to give, because you made it yourself.”
I believe my son was the greatest gift I’ve given. At 34, he was kind of a miracle for me as we had all given up hope on getting pregnant. He’s incredible and the most amazing part of my life.
Yes, he’s definitely the best gift. At least he is to me.
Wow, here y’all being so serious and nice and all…
The only thing I could think of was the gift that keeps on giving. After all, if Mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.
@dptalia same - i don’t think i’ve ever given a ‘meaningful’ gift. thoughtful, nice, but meaningful? eh. i did put together a poster which i had printed and framed for my gramma last year where each family member wrote a few things that they loved about her so it totaled 80 and we presented it on her 80th birthday. that was nice of me i guess but it wasn’t my idea, so.
@jerk_nugget Hey man, most ideas aren’t yours. You were a part of the gift making and giving, and it sounds like you organized it? It totally counts. You recognized a good idea and passed it on.
@alphapeaches i mean, i did the work but i just don’t want to act like i came up with it. i would have probably just signed a card if my mom hadn’t showed me this print on etsy she liked. i got the idea to do it myself so we could personalize it and do a super sized version.
@jerk_nugget As long as you’re giving yourself some credit. Whoever came up with it deserves credit, of course, but you made/organized something and gave it to someone. That’s worth. That’s all
@dptalia We stopped giving Grandkids electronic games this year.
We buy them the newest Nintendo last year, a XBox the year before & it’s all crap this year. No.
You’d think they would work for more than a year…
@alphapeaches thank you, you’re right. i am trying to be better at not downplaying anything nice someone says that involves me into dust, but it’s a process
@daveinwarsh not sure if you’re being facetious, but those systems should still be perfectly fine. they have come out with a new xbox but it’s not necessary. (the controllers over all the iterations do have a shorter lifespan than one would prefer, though.)
my partner gave the xbox one to a friend of ours, sold the one s to his brother, and now we have the project scorpio one. it’s something we use constantly and something he sets money aside for each release - really the only thing he buys himself because he loves to be in on the new tech but truly the ‘old’ ones are pristine working condition and great systems.
@jerk_nugget Well, now they want a Switch. I have no idea why. It can’t be all that different from the new Nintendo we got them last year…
I’m thinking they need to get outside & ride a bicycle or something…
@daveinwarsh ah, i see. we have one of those too. (and a playstation, and the DS, and the vita…not to mention the games on steam for the PC…) i think part of the issue is that certain games get released only for certain devices/platforms. the switch is kind of cool in that it can easily (ahem) switch between being a console and a handheld device, and they get you with all the fun joycon (controller) colors, and unique-to-the-system games.
of course none of this is strictly necessary at all and going outside and riding bikes is pretty great.
I still have no idea exactly how much my husband’s last birthday cost me, but it was a great day and he had so much fun doing all the things I planned for him.
wait, i remembered something. when my dad turned 60, we wanted to do a special cake. i decided to take on this task. i hired a well known highly recommended local bakery here…which turned out to be a complete shitshow. they were awful to work with and didn’t even give me what we agreed upon. i honestly thought i was being punked the whole experience was so bad.
so, after picking up the disappointing cake and hours before the dinner, i went to the grocery store. i bought food coloring, some household items to use as decorating tools, and the woman working the bakery helped me make an edible print. i went home, scraped all the icing off the cake, tinted it myself and decorated it myself. it came out awesome and everyone - most importantly my dad - loved it. and he doesn’t even really like sweets. that was a proud one for me.
Since the question didn’t ask what kind of gift (Christmas, birthday, etc)… I’d say my children, to my wife. She has this really excessive infatuation with me over those two gifts…
So this gift qualifies as most meaningful, least expensive (didn’t even buy rubbers), and most expensive (uh, kids, duh), all at once!
One of the people I knew in college -her mom organized under one of the best “gifts” I ever heard about.
My friend’s grandmother was not so long widowed and turning 75 and still amazing. But a little lonely perhaps.
My friend’s mom got everyone too come to town. Family. Friends. She got other friends to put them up. For the weekend. For the whole week, if they could.
And she got them all to come up with copies of photos, and write out their best memories.
Ands then all weekend long was a series of gatherings. Picnics and potluck.
Andyl people read their letters and passed around photo and told stories.
People just reconnected and got back in touch and many of them stayed in touch. And the honoree got to reconnect with people in ways that lasted for the rest of her life. And other friendships got restarted.
Designed from the start to be way more than just a party. Something permanent. And, from what I heard, it worked.
I dont know if it was the most meaningful gift, but I gave an interesting one to my best friend. He was into his Scottish ancestry, and people sometimes mistook him for Sean Connery. He had a utilikilt that he wore to conventions and on formal nights on cruises. One year I wrapped all his gifts in plaid paper. They included a lovely leather utility sporan (the crotch covering purse that’s worn with a kilt), a second sporan decorated with plaid wool and horsehair, two pair of woolen kilt hose, a sgian-dubh (the dagger traditionally worn with kilts), and one square foot of property in the Scottish Highlands, which allowed him to claim the title of Laird.
Taking the batteries out of my refrigerator to give as a gift: priceless.
@shahnm
Your refrigerator runs on batteries?
@DVDBZN Yours doesn’t?
@shahnm meaningful because your mom’s vibrator ran down?
@HutcH
Nah, mine is nuclear powered. It powers the entire house, and I even make money on it by putting power back into the grid
@DVDBZN I need to get me one of those.
I spent some time tracking down a somewhat rare children’s book, and it actually cost less than the limit, so I threw in batteries, “because I refuse to be the guy who forgot to get batteries”
I got tears and laughs, and it was for a friend who had been through a crappy year, so bonus points for the timing.
The most meaningful gift I ever gave was forgiveness.
@therealjrn
That’s a good one. ⭐️
Esp if you manage to do it - for real - and also manage to make the not great events and behavior less likely to happen again; and yet be kind and decent with your re-thought boundaries.
@f00l Oh, it’s a process for sure. It sure feels weird to pray for somebody when you wish they would just go DIAF. Eventually though…I was the one set free.
@therealjrn
Yeah, I also find that this process gives freedom to the person forgiving. And also gives a better possibility of re-integration to the transgressor. Assuming they are really going to struggle with their worse tendencies and do their best to change.
And at least, after i let go of my own negative feelings, it ask if them I can let go of (no matter how well justified they felt); the events and betrayals no longer own and control my attitudes and reactions.
Forgiveness does not always come easily.
The are individuals in my past who seem to me practically as two different people. Not MPD or similar. Just a few responsible and generous and kind folk who also carried unexpected and unacknowledged profound darkest in them.
Regarding one person, I can still only see one side or the other side when thinking of them.
@f00l I’m fortunate that “my” transgressors weren’t truly evil. My BFF was molested as a child–her mom didn’t believe her. So it was tough. She and her Mom are all good now, but the dude really takes up a lot of room in her head. I don’t have any idea how one gets over something like that.
@therealjrn
I didn’t know it at the time, in fact, I just recently discovered that the most meaningful gift I ever gave was a jewelry box that I made for my mom when I was in first grade.
It was made from a cigar box. I glued macaroni (the shell kind) on top of it and then I painted the whole thing black. My teacher tried to talk me into painting it a different color, perhaps a more colorful color like the other kids were doing. But I was in my black impressionist paint period of my life, and I couldn’t be talked out of it.
My teacher cut red construction paper and lined the inside of the box and then she used a gloss lacquer on the shells and outer sides of the box. (Us kids weren’t allowed to lacquer our boxes because she didn’t want us stuck to everything in the classroom.)
The end result? My box was beautiful, it really was, and I was so proud when I gave it to Mom. I guess she liked it, too, because I recently found it in one of her dresser drawers. It’s a little worse for wear, minus a few macaroni shells, but it still had some of her jewelry in it.
Yeah, it now means so much to me, as I think it did to my mom.
@Barney
“A bargain I found on Meh” should be one of the choices. Or was it on Woot?
I chose “Only materials and labor to give, because you made it yourself.”
I believe my son was the greatest gift I’ve given. At 34, he was kind of a miracle for me as we had all given up hope on getting pregnant. He’s incredible and the most amazing part of my life.
Yes, he’s definitely the best gift. At least he is to me.
Wow, here y’all being so serious and nice and all…
The only thing I could think of was the gift that keeps on giving. After all, if Mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.
I’m not sure I can identify any gift as “most meaningful.” The nephew is getting a Nintendo Switch this year, does that count?
@dptalia same - i don’t think i’ve ever given a ‘meaningful’ gift. thoughtful, nice, but meaningful? eh. i did put together a poster which i had printed and framed for my gramma last year where each family member wrote a few things that they loved about her so it totaled 80 and we presented it on her 80th birthday. that was nice of me i guess but it wasn’t my idea, so.
@jerk_nugget Hey man, most ideas aren’t yours. You were a part of the gift making and giving, and it sounds like you organized it? It totally counts. You recognized a good idea and passed it on.
@alphapeaches i mean, i did the work but i just don’t want to act like i came up with it. i would have probably just signed a card if my mom hadn’t showed me this print on etsy she liked. i got the idea to do it myself so we could personalize it and do a super sized version.
@jerk_nugget As long as you’re giving yourself some credit. Whoever came up with it deserves credit, of course, but you made/organized something and gave it to someone. That’s worth. That’s all
@dptalia We stopped giving Grandkids electronic games this year.
We buy them the newest Nintendo last year, a XBox the year before & it’s all crap this year. No.
You’d think they would work for more than a year…
@alphapeaches thank you, you’re right. i am trying to be better at not downplaying anything nice someone says that involves me into dust, but it’s a process
@daveinwarsh not sure if you’re being facetious, but those systems should still be perfectly fine. they have come out with a new xbox but it’s not necessary. (the controllers over all the iterations do have a shorter lifespan than one would prefer, though.)
my partner gave the xbox one to a friend of ours, sold the one s to his brother, and now we have the project scorpio one. it’s something we use constantly and something he sets money aside for each release - really the only thing he buys himself because he loves to be in on the new tech but truly the ‘old’ ones are pristine working condition and great systems.
@jerk_nugget Well, now they want a Switch. I have no idea why. It can’t be all that different from the new Nintendo we got them last year…
I’m thinking they need to get outside & ride a bicycle or something…
@daveinwarsh ah, i see. we have one of those too. (and a playstation, and the DS, and the vita…not to mention the games on steam for the PC…) i think part of the issue is that certain games get released only for certain devices/platforms. the switch is kind of cool in that it can easily (ahem) switch between being a console and a handheld device, and they get you with all the fun joycon (controller) colors, and unique-to-the-system games.
of course none of this is strictly necessary at all and going outside and riding bikes is pretty great.
What is this word “meaningful”?
@HutcH it’s a synonym for “spiteful”.
@bratling Thanks for clarifying. Now to dictionary.com for a definition of spiteful and synonym…
I’m big on giving gifts. Would be to difficult to remember the most meaningful. Once my dad wanted a book from the 1600s, so I found one for him.
I still have no idea exactly how much my husband’s last birthday cost me, but it was a great day and he had so much fun doing all the things I planned for him.
@PolkSaladAnnie
I would imagine all was more than imaginative.
And wonderful in many ways.
@PolkSaladAnnie @f00l best birthday ever.
@Pantheist
Can we have some hints about some of the activities?
wait, i remembered something. when my dad turned 60, we wanted to do a special cake. i decided to take on this task. i hired a well known highly recommended local bakery here…which turned out to be a complete shitshow. they were awful to work with and didn’t even give me what we agreed upon. i honestly thought i was being punked the whole experience was so bad.
so, after picking up the disappointing cake and hours before the dinner, i went to the grocery store. i bought food coloring, some household items to use as decorating tools, and the woman working the bakery helped me make an edible print. i went home, scraped all the icing off the cake, tinted it myself and decorated it myself. it came out awesome and everyone - most importantly my dad - loved it. and he doesn’t even really like sweets. that was a proud one for me.
Since the question didn’t ask what kind of gift (Christmas, birthday, etc)… I’d say my children, to my wife. She has this really excessive infatuation with me over those two gifts…
So this gift qualifies as most meaningful, least expensive (didn’t even buy rubbers), and most expensive (uh, kids, duh), all at once!
One of the people I knew in college -her mom organized under one of the best “gifts” I ever heard about.
My friend’s grandmother was not so long widowed and turning 75 and still amazing. But a little lonely perhaps.
My friend’s mom got everyone too come to town. Family. Friends. She got other friends to put them up. For the weekend. For the whole week, if they could.
And she got them all to come up with copies of photos, and write out their best memories.
Ands then all weekend long was a series of gatherings. Picnics and potluck.
Andyl people read their letters and passed around photo and told stories.
People just reconnected and got back in touch and many of them stayed in touch. And the honoree got to reconnect with people in ways that lasted for the rest of her life. And other friendships got restarted.
Designed from the start to be way more than just a party. Something permanent. And, from what I heard, it worked.
I dont know if it was the most meaningful gift, but I gave an interesting one to my best friend. He was into his Scottish ancestry, and people sometimes mistook him for Sean Connery. He had a utilikilt that he wore to conventions and on formal nights on cruises. One year I wrapped all his gifts in plaid paper. They included a lovely leather utility sporan (the crotch covering purse that’s worn with a kilt), a second sporan decorated with plaid wool and horsehair, two pair of woolen kilt hose, a sgian-dubh (the dagger traditionally worn with kilts), and one square foot of property in the Scottish Highlands, which allowed him to claim the title of Laird.