@guyfromhawthorn@Ignorant@tinamarie1974@tnhillbillygal
Love Mounds (mmmm dark chocolate), love almond joy (mmmm almonds), but I’ve never understood why I have to choose between the two. All I want is a dark chocolate almond joy.
Completely unrelated thought though. I’ve always wondered what’s missing from the souls of people that HATE coconut. Not simply don’t like it, but truly loathe it. Were they trapped on an island in a previous life, surrounded by coconut trees and could never figure out how to get them open? Each day, day after day, staring at them knowing that a respite from starvation lay just beyond their reach because the stupid island had no rocks on it, only sand. Slowly they sink into madness as they waste away, beginning to believe that the coconuts are laughing at them, taunting them. Finally as their faculties begin to fade, they utter an inaudible promise. An oath they keep longer than they dared to think was possible. A vow that travels with them, crossing the bounds of their corporeal existence and following them into their next incarnation. That vow is to never forget. Never forgive coconut for making them feel this way. To remember forever, and to let their fellow deal-a-day site visitors know that…“coconut can fuck right off”
(Even though it’s really the stupid island’s fault for having coconut trees, but no rocks to open them with)
@MrTanner You win the Internet today with this diatribe.
It doesn’t explain how my daughter, who loathes coconut, could be the offspring of two purple who both like coconut, but it is still some fantastic writing.
@guyfromhawthorn@Ignorant@MrTanner@mtb002@tinamarie1974@tnhillbillygal
“Artificial coconut is like eating sun tan lotion.”
Great explanation! I love all coconut, but this makes total sense to me. I feel the same about anything mint or lemon flavored. Eating mint flavored anything is like eating sweet toothpaste gag and lemon flavored anything is like eating dish soap. So I totally get the sun tan lotion thing.
@guyfromhawthorn@Ignorant@MrTanner@tinamarie1974@tnhillbillygal
It’s the texture, for me anyway.
I don’t mind the taste of coconut, but it’s like chewing some kind of dense styrofoam, and the feeling against my teeth is, not quite as bad as fingernails on a chalkboard, but tweaks the same nerve.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
@kjady@moonhat Yeah, I don’t think I’ve ever had a full-sized chick-o-stick candy bar, but I really like the small ones. I do prefer the peanut butter bars which are pretty much the same thing but flatter and more rectangular with the white-ish candy coating. I’ve definitely never seen those in bar form.
@kjady I know exactly what they are. They’re the processed, dried coconut - not the sticky, shredded, squeak-in-your-teeth kind. Which still isn’t very good. Just better than Almond Joy.
Amatuers. Oh, the peanuts in this candy is bad… Eww, coconut is gross… If you want pain, true pain, you have to talk to the Norwegians or Swedes. Without a doubt, the worst “treat” that some people will swear to you is great, is Dunder Salt.
It’s like if someone tried to weaponize salt, decided it was inhumane, and then sold it for a profit. Every pouch bears the mark of Troll-Gott to serve as a warning that consuming these orbs of madness will cause you to end up living under a bridge. Offering these to others is considered a hate crime is 37 states. THIS is truly the worst candy.
@Tin_Foil check out this video of some kids trying dunder salt. tells you all you need to know about it, I had to google it to find out what it is, truly evil stuff!
@katbyter
Zagnut gets a lot of hate. It’s been ragged on in TV shows and movies, apparently being the only candy bar available in hell.
But it’s not bad per se, it’s just not what people expect when they think of a “candy bar.”
I sell candy at work to raise money for FIRST Robotics. My top seller, by far, is Peanut M&Ms, probably followed by Twix. Snickers, Kit Kats, Butterfinger, Skittles (except for Sour Skittles), Three Musketeers, Baby Ruth and Nestle Crunch all sell more than Milky Way but Milky Way bars do sell.
Sour Skittles I cannot give away. They make my teeth hurt. I take them home, rinse the citric acid off and then dissolve them in vodka. Or I throw them away.
As someone pointed out above for Dunder Salt, Skittles (Sour or otherwise) are not a candy bar (though they can form into a bar-like thing, ala candy corn bricks, if placed on a steam radiator for a while).
I shall have to search for Dunder Salt… the concept of weaponized salt as a candy intrigues me.
There are things I’ve tasted that are bars and way worse than a Milky Way. While I cannot think of anything on my own at present, I can confirm that Chick-O-Stick (-Stix?) are worse than Milky Way.
@baqui63 thank you for sharing this truly delightful read. I haven’t giggled like that in a while. Reminds me of reading Maddox articles back in the early 2000s.
Chunky is probably the worst, if we’re not delving into the weird regional ones, most of which I’m probably unaware of, because I never lived in the regions they’re made and sold in.
Twin Bing, I think counts as a candy bar, and it’s two artificial cherry flavored nougat mounds covered in chocolate. No actual cherries. This isn’t a cordial either. Just a weird pink filling that kinda tastes like cough syrup, surrounded by chocolate. For some reason, people love them.
I personally am not a fan.
Milky Way isn’t the worst, but it is meh in my book.
American mass-produced chocolate is in general, pretty meh, but many countries have worse “treats”.
My sister and I went on a road trip a month ago and every time I saw a candy bar we don’t have at home, I would buy it and we would try it out. There was some ridiculous (and gross) candy we got in Montana called “Idaho Spud” and that is the worst candy bar I’ve ever had.
In case you’re wondering, the description from Wikipedia: “The candy bar consists of a cocoa-flavored marshmallow center which is covered with compound chocolate (a chocolate replacement made from cocoa, sugar, and vegetable fats) and sprinkled with coconut flakes. The oblong shape of the candy bar resembles a potato.”
I’m a caramel lover so cannot hate on the Milky Way. I can however hate on all the coconut and marshmallow candy bars that exist. They are an abomination to my mouth and I wish them into the corn field!
Any Hershey candy bar is way worse than Milky Way. A plain Hershey bar makes true chocolate lovers recoil in horror. Hershey’s chocolate is basically sugary wax.
Besides, “fun size” dark chocolate Milky Ways are really good frozen.
I’m not really a candy person, or sweets in general for that matter. Maybe that is why I am having trouble wrapping my head around whats triggering the hate for Milky Way.
Mounds and Almond Joy? Not only do they have coconut, which a lot of people don’t like, but a pretty heavy concentration of it.
Chunky? Might be the only candy bar with raisins - hate raisins and you are going to hate Chunky.
Payday? I like them fine, but they are admittedly very unique. No chocolate and a very prominent salty taste.
Chick-o-Stick and Zagnut? No chocolate… and a toasted coconut dusting.
Zero? Might be my favorite, but its one of the few bars with white chocolate, and maybe the only that is white chocolate with nougat. It’s a very unique combination, so I get the hate from others
Three Musketeers? The ratio of nougat to chocolate is incredibly high. Doesn’t bother me, but I get some people will dislike it.
All the bars above have a distinguishing characteristic that separates them from most candy bars. But what’s the objection to Milky Way? It consists of three of the most prominent ingredients in candy bars: chocolate, caramel, nougat. And hating Mr. Goodbar I really don’t get. Peanuts and chocolate. Other than a straight chocolate bar, it doesn’t get any more basic than that. I get it you don’t like it if you don’t like peanuts, but there are million other bars out there with peanuts, so not sure why Mr. Goodbar would get the scorn.
@DrWorm I don’t really get it either, but Milky Way is only a slight step up from Three Musketeers.
I don’t actually dislike Three Musketeers-- I just don’t see the point in its existence.
I’d still pick it over a Zero Bar, though. White “Chocolate” is not chocolate, and it’s pretty gross to boot.
And I’ll happily take everybody’s rejected Mr. Goodbars.
I’m not a big chocolate fan or even a candy fan. Like twice a year I’ll buy a Reece’s or a Twix but if I have to choose I prefer mambas or hichews. I like something chewy and fruity. But I would prefer to ear a Milky Way over a Hersey’s bar or babe Ruth any day.
I am unforch a huge fan of all things candy, to the sadness of the jeans my body is trying to squeeze into today. I just wanted to say that I don’t think I have ever seen Zagnuts in the store where I live, but it reminds me of one of Foul Play, when Chevy Chase is starving and on the run.
And any chocolate candy bar is so wonderful if you put it in the freezer, yes? I think so. LIke, a Charleston Chew. Or a Three Musketeers. Yummm!
Oh and nobody has mentioned Mountain Bars. The peanut butter ones are sooo good.
/giphy mountain bar
@moonhat I could be wrong, but I think Mountain Bars are a regional thing, which could be why nobody has mentioned them. I once had a co-worker complaining about their lack of their availability, only to get a “never heard of it” from everyone else in the room. I don’t remember exactly where she was from, but I want to say somewhere out west. I don’t recall ever seeing one, even in my travels.
@Limewater yes yes yes! Sorry I had those 2 Chevy-and-Goldie movies mixed up (both wonderful), yes Seems Like Old Times. Ah, Aurora’s Chicken Pepperoni.
@DrWorm Doctor, I think you are correct. I found this online (and I’m in the pnw) :
“Mountain Bar is a chocolate bar made by Brown & Haley, Inc. Mountain Bars consist of chocolate and peanuts molded around one of three flavored fillings: vanilla, peanut butter or cherry. The Mountain Bar was first created in 1915 at the Brown & Haley factory in Tacoma, Washington. Originally called Mount Tacoma Bars, the name was changed in 1925 after Brown & Haley began distribution of the candy in Seattle. Shortly after World War II a cherry version of the Mountain Bar was introduced. This was followed by the peanut butter variety in 1974.”
Worst? Heath bar or Sugar Daddy. (Dis)honorable mention to standard Hershey bar.
Best? Reese’s Nutrageous, which I can’t find anywhere these days (figures). They sell “Outrageous” which puts Reese’s Pieces instead of peanuts, but it’s just not the same.
Close but not the worst. It’s basically a Snickers that hasn’t lived up to it’s full potential. If they added coconut they could have taken the title of worst easily. What could be more disappointing that biting into an unfinished candy than realizing someone had littered it with coconut shards?
@tinamarie1974 These used to be sold next to cash registers in delis and coffee shops all over NYC. They were great. They’ve now been replaced by mini Ritter Sport squares in various flavors, which are better, though I still love Ice Cubes.
@ahacksaw EXACTLY!! I first tried them on my old college campus. They sold them in a convenience store in campus, as you said next to the cash register. I haven’t seen them in a few years…
They occasionally show up at Grocery Outlet for around 4 bucks, but I refuse to pay the asking price from online sellers (currently 23 bucks for two at Amazon!), so they are special treat.
All candy bars belong in one of two categories: those which can reasonably be eaten in exactly one bite and those which cannot. The term ‘reasonably’ refers to facts relating to the whole of the item meeting two requirements of the consumer: 1. it must allow for full insertion into the mouth with closed lips such that it can remain there indefinitely without evidence to potential witnesses (or jurors) of its’ presence; and, 2. it must be subject to complete processing by the mouth apparatus, including full gratification, while thus concealed. Many types of candy meet these qualifications but of candy bars there are only a few that may be considered. Of these, some such as a Reese’s Cup are easily manageable which means that, due to their size, they under-utilize the resources of the mouth and so receive a lower score. Others, such as Three Musketeers are of a size which exceeds the limit of capacity of the mouth (my mouth, which is average and ordinary in every way, no pun intended) and are thus unable to contend. Still others like Snickers defy the mouth’s ability to process it without mastication, which is a tell-tale clue to its’ presence, thus disqualifying it. The Milky Way, given its’ large content by weight (and volume) is at the extreme edge of meeting all the requirements, thus earning it placement at the top tier above all other candy bars, conclusively, with one possible cause of exception: when it is frozen.
Milky Ways suck, but not as bad as Almond Joy, Mounds or any other candy bar with coconut in it. Who eats coconut? (I’ll admit “Mounds” is a pretty awesome name though).
I understand Durian Fruit has quite a reputation. I hear it smells like feet and tastes like how you might expect something might taste if it smelled like feet.
It’s better than a Mounds.
@Ignorant or Almond Joy
@Ignorant coconut can fuck right off.
@guyfromhawthorn @Ignorant all three are gross!!
@guyfromhawthorn the almonds at least add a little something, but yeah those are the last of the candy bars that are eaten here.
@guyfromhawthorn @Ignorant @tinamarie1974
I like coconut in my candies.
/giphy unpopular opinion
@guyfromhawthorn @Ignorant @tinamarie1974 @tnhillbillygal
Love Mounds (mmmm dark chocolate), love almond joy (mmmm almonds), but I’ve never understood why I have to choose between the two. All I want is a dark chocolate almond joy.
Completely unrelated thought though. I’ve always wondered what’s missing from the souls of people that HATE coconut. Not simply don’t like it, but truly loathe it. Were they trapped on an island in a previous life, surrounded by coconut trees and could never figure out how to get them open? Each day, day after day, staring at them knowing that a respite from starvation lay just beyond their reach because the stupid island had no rocks on it, only sand. Slowly they sink into madness as they waste away, beginning to believe that the coconuts are laughing at them, taunting them. Finally as their faculties begin to fade, they utter an inaudible promise. An oath they keep longer than they dared to think was possible. A vow that travels with them, crossing the bounds of their corporeal existence and following them into their next incarnation. That vow is to never forget. Never forgive coconut for making them feel this way. To remember forever, and to let their fellow deal-a-day site visitors know that…“coconut can fuck right off”
(Even though it’s really the stupid island’s fault for having coconut trees, but no rocks to open them with)
@MrTanner I think the coconut is making you hallucinate.
@guyfromhawthorn @Ignorant @MrTanner @tinamarie1974 @tnhillbillygal
Real coconut isn’t so bad. Artificial coconut is like eating sun tan lotion. Shudder.
@guyfromhawthorn @Ignorant @MrTanner @mtb002 @tinamarie1974 @tnhillbillygal why do you know what sun tan lotion tastes like?
@MrTanner You win the Internet today with this diatribe.
It doesn’t explain how my daughter, who loathes coconut, could be the offspring of two purple who both like coconut, but it is still some fantastic writing.
@Barney loves purple.
@guyfromhawthorn @Ignorant @MrTanner @tinamarie1974 @tnhillbillygal
@guyfromhawthorn @Ignorant @MrTanner @sammydog01 @tnhillbillygal
@guyfromhawthorn @Ignorant @MrTanner @mtb002 @tinamarie1974 @tnhillbillygal
“Artificial coconut is like eating sun tan lotion.”
Great explanation! I love all coconut, but this makes total sense to me. I feel the same about anything mint or lemon flavored. Eating mint flavored anything is like eating sweet toothpaste gag and lemon flavored anything is like eating dish soap. So I totally get the sun tan lotion thing.
@guyfromhawthorn @Ignorant @MrTanner @tinamarie1974 @tnhillbillygal
It’s the texture, for me anyway.
I don’t mind the taste of coconut, but it’s like chewing some kind of dense styrofoam, and the feeling against my teeth is, not quite as bad as fingernails on a chalkboard, but tweaks the same nerve.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Love coconut
Mounds is way better than Neapolitan Coconut Slice Bar. I like coconut, but they make coconut nasty.
@DennisG2014 @guyfromhawthorn @Ignorant @MrTanner @tinamarie1974 @tnhillbillygal Exactly: The taste is fine but the texture of the shredded coconut gives me…well, DennisG2014 described it perfectly.
@guyfromhawthorn @Ignorant Sometimes you feel like a nut
@guyfromhawthorn @Ignorant @robson sometimes you don’t!!
@guyfromhawthorn @Ignorant @MrTanner @tinamarie1974 @tnhillbillygal @unksol
I’ve never thrown back a bottle, but it has accidently gotten on/in my mouth when I use my hands to wipe sweat off my face. That’s not a mistake I repeated more than once or twice.
3 musketeers is the worst
@kittykat9180 no way, jose. It is especially wonderful if you eat the chocolate sides and top off first, yumm.
@kittykat9180 Agreed. I’ take a frozen fun-size dark chocolate Milky Way over a Three Musketeers any day!
Zero bar is pretty bad. I like a milky way with a tall glass of cold milk.
@tnhillbillygal
zero
Every candy bar with coconut in it is worse, for starters.
@UncleVinny, bite your tongue
@kittykat9180 if I was compelled to eat coconut, I would indeed bite my tongue clean off.
Mr goodbar has so much promise, yet is so bad. It’s like peanut reject rejects.
@oppodude Ha! Jinx!
@oppodude I can’t think of Mr. Goodbar without thinking of Krackel. I think they only exist in miniature form.
Nope. Worst candy bar is Mr. Goodbar. Bleah.
I agree with others, the objectively worst candy bar is Mounds. (Or maybe that English one with air bubbles in it.)
@awk, kinder bueno? One of my favorite.
@awk Aero? They’re boring, but not bad.
Coffee Crisp is the best.
@craigthom having googled that, now i need that. shit.
@craigthom - Never heard of these before, but just to be seasonal:
@craigthom what are you, Canadian?
@craigthom @moonhat
I agree, they are the best. Every time I go back to Canada I stock up on them.
@moonhat I am not Canadian, unfortunately. Or fortunately, because I’d be eating too many Coffee Crisps if I was.
They sell them at Cost Plus World Market sometimes, but they charge too much. And I rarely go there.
@aetris @craigthom I would totally try that!
Anyone had the monstrosity known as a Chick-O-Stick? A Milky Way is ambrosia in comparison.
@kjady Holy crap, I had forgotten all about those. Thanks a lot- now the nightmare is back in my memory.
@kjady What @Pony said.
@kjady Chick-O-Sticks are basically stale, skinless Butterfingers. They don’t have shredded coconut filling so they could be worse.
@ZeroCharisma Umm… You do realize they have coconut in them right? Like it’s a peanut butter AND coconut horror?
@kjady That’s what i popped in the forum today to say
@kjady oh my gosh, I loooove chik-o-sticks. I could eat a ton of them
@kjady, now I want one.
@kjady @moonhat Yeah, I don’t think I’ve ever had a full-sized chick-o-stick candy bar, but I really like the small ones. I do prefer the peanut butter bars which are pretty much the same thing but flatter and more rectangular with the white-ish candy coating. I’ve definitely never seen those in bar form.
@kjady I know exactly what they are. They’re the processed, dried coconut - not the sticky, shredded, squeak-in-your-teeth kind. Which still isn’t very good. Just better than Almond Joy.
You’ve never had a Payday, which is a Overly Salty candy bar that is not very sweet…
@Oldelvis yum paydays…
@Oldelvis You say that like it’s a bad thing. Paydays are great.
@craigthom @Oldelvis Put chocolate on it and you have a Baby Ruth. And they rock.
It doesn’t have coconut.
/giphy no coconut
Sir, you are mistaken.
Snickers is the worst.
@heartny
Amatuers. Oh, the peanuts in this candy is bad… Eww, coconut is gross… If you want pain, true pain, you have to talk to the Norwegians or Swedes. Without a doubt, the worst “treat” that some people will swear to you is great, is Dunder Salt.
It’s like if someone tried to weaponize salt, decided it was inhumane, and then sold it for a profit. Every pouch bears the mark of Troll-Gott to serve as a warning that consuming these orbs of madness will cause you to end up living under a bridge. Offering these to others is considered a hate crime is 37 states. THIS is truly the worst candy.
@Tin_Foil
But is it a “candy bar,” though?
@Tin_Foil check out this video of some kids trying dunder salt. tells you all you need to know about it, I had to google it to find out what it is, truly evil stuff!
I kind of like the Milky Way candy bar. Now if you want a good candy bar with peanuts, Chunky hits the spot.
Milky Way? How about Zagnut? Payday? Baby Ruth?
@katbyter
Zagnut gets a lot of hate. It’s been ragged on in TV shows and movies, apparently being the only candy bar available in hell.
But it’s not bad per se, it’s just not what people expect when they think of a “candy bar.”
@katbyter @Narwalt you have a problem with Baby Ruth’s? Come on now.
The Milky Way WAS the worst candy bar, but then Nestle sold the Butterfinger to a European goon squad that changed the recipe and ruined it.
@joerger was that happened to it? I used to like them, but then bought it one day and it was, like, ew
The two basic items necessary to sustain life are sunshine and coconut milk.
I sell candy at work to raise money for FIRST Robotics. My top seller, by far, is Peanut M&Ms, probably followed by Twix. Snickers, Kit Kats, Butterfinger, Skittles (except for Sour Skittles), Three Musketeers, Baby Ruth and Nestle Crunch all sell more than Milky Way but Milky Way bars do sell.
Sour Skittles I cannot give away. They make my teeth hurt. I take them home, rinse the citric acid off and then dissolve them in vodka. Or I throw them away.
As someone pointed out above for Dunder Salt, Skittles (Sour or otherwise) are not a candy bar (though they can form into a bar-like thing, ala candy corn bricks, if placed on a steam radiator for a while).
I shall have to search for Dunder Salt… the concept of weaponized salt as a candy intrigues me.
There are things I’ve tasted that are bars and way worse than a Milky Way. While I cannot think of anything on my own at present, I can confirm that Chick-O-Stick (-Stix?) are worse than Milky Way.
@baqui63 Send your sour skittles to my kid. She LOVES LOVES LOVES that nasty stuff.
@baqui63 did you ever make skittles vodka? I never have but love seeing videos of it and how pretty it turns out.
/image skittles vodka
@baqui63 @moonhat we made jolly rancher vodka
@baqui63 @star2236 oooh jolly rancher vodka sound pretty good!
@baqui63 @Kidsandliz sounds like an item for an exchange box to me… The sour Skittles, not the vodka - could be troublesome…
@baqui63 @Kidsandliz @ybmuG @moonhat
Three words that will give you chills and make your blood run cold:
Candy Corn Vodka
@baqui63 @Kidsandliz @mike808 @moonhat Oooohhhh! Eeewwww! It’s the mental equivalent of fingernails on a chalkboard! Aaaaaahhh! Get out of my head!
@Kidsandliz @mike808 @moonhat @ybmuG
I have done quite a few different flavored vodkas, including Skittles, Altoids, Cinnamon (so much better than Fireball!), Black Pepper, Rosemary, etc.
Gummy bears soaked in various spirits are pretty good too… I prefer whisky sour bears myself.
I found this article and had to share… if nothing else, it raises the fuck count: https://kitchenette.jezebel.com/candy-bars-ranked-1563698643
@baqui63 Truly NSFW, but really, really funny.
@baqui63 thank you for sharing this truly delightful read. I haven’t giggled like that in a while. Reminds me of reading Maddox articles back in the early 2000s.
Chunky is probably the worst, if we’re not delving into the weird regional ones, most of which I’m probably unaware of, because I never lived in the regions they’re made and sold in.
Twin Bing, I think counts as a candy bar, and it’s two artificial cherry flavored nougat mounds covered in chocolate. No actual cherries. This isn’t a cordial either. Just a weird pink filling that kinda tastes like cough syrup, surrounded by chocolate. For some reason, people love them.
I personally am not a fan.
Milky Way isn’t the worst, but it is meh in my book.
American mass-produced chocolate is in general, pretty meh, but many countries have worse “treats”.
/image Laughy Taffy Bar
Artificially flavored soap that won’t come off of your teeth.
@2many2no love em!
Milky way at least has caramel. Three musketeers is the worst candy bar.
My sister and I went on a road trip a month ago and every time I saw a candy bar we don’t have at home, I would buy it and we would try it out. There was some ridiculous (and gross) candy we got in Montana called “Idaho Spud” and that is the worst candy bar I’ve ever had.
In case you’re wondering, the description from Wikipedia: “The candy bar consists of a cocoa-flavored marshmallow center which is covered with compound chocolate (a chocolate replacement made from cocoa, sugar, and vegetable fats) and sprinkled with coconut flakes. The oblong shape of the candy bar resembles a potato.”
I’m a caramel lover so cannot hate on the Milky Way. I can however hate on all the coconut and marshmallow candy bars that exist. They are an abomination to my mouth and I wish them into the corn field!
Bricked candy corn.
Any Hershey candy bar is way worse than Milky Way. A plain Hershey bar makes true chocolate lovers recoil in horror. Hershey’s chocolate is basically sugary wax.
Besides, “fun size” dark chocolate Milky Ways are really good frozen.
I’m not really a candy person, or sweets in general for that matter. Maybe that is why I am having trouble wrapping my head around whats triggering the hate for Milky Way.
Mounds and Almond Joy? Not only do they have coconut, which a lot of people don’t like, but a pretty heavy concentration of it.
Chunky? Might be the only candy bar with raisins - hate raisins and you are going to hate Chunky.
Payday? I like them fine, but they are admittedly very unique. No chocolate and a very prominent salty taste.
Chick-o-Stick and Zagnut? No chocolate… and a toasted coconut dusting.
Zero? Might be my favorite, but its one of the few bars with white chocolate, and maybe the only that is white chocolate with nougat. It’s a very unique combination, so I get the hate from others
Three Musketeers? The ratio of nougat to chocolate is incredibly high. Doesn’t bother me, but I get some people will dislike it.
All the bars above have a distinguishing characteristic that separates them from most candy bars. But what’s the objection to Milky Way? It consists of three of the most prominent ingredients in candy bars: chocolate, caramel, nougat. And hating Mr. Goodbar I really don’t get. Peanuts and chocolate. Other than a straight chocolate bar, it doesn’t get any more basic than that. I get it you don’t like it if you don’t like peanuts, but there are million other bars out there with peanuts, so not sure why Mr. Goodbar would get the scorn.
@DrWorm I don’t really get it either, but Milky Way is only a slight step up from Three Musketeers.
I don’t actually dislike Three Musketeers-- I just don’t see the point in its existence.
I’d still pick it over a Zero Bar, though. White “Chocolate” is not chocolate, and it’s pretty gross to boot.
And I’ll happily take everybody’s rejected Mr. Goodbars.
I’m not a big chocolate fan or even a candy fan. Like twice a year I’ll buy a Reece’s or a Twix but if I have to choose I prefer mambas or hichews. I like something chewy and fruity. But I would prefer to ear a Milky Way over a Hersey’s bar or babe Ruth any day.
@star2236 that’s because things taste better when you use your mouth and not your ear…
I am unforch a huge fan of all things candy, to the sadness of the jeans my body is trying to squeeze into today. I just wanted to say that I don’t think I have ever seen Zagnuts in the store where I live, but it reminds me of one of Foul Play, when Chevy Chase is starving and on the run.
And any chocolate candy bar is so wonderful if you put it in the freezer, yes? I think so. LIke, a Charleston Chew. Or a Three Musketeers. Yummm!
Oh and nobody has mentioned Mountain Bars. The peanut butter ones are sooo good.
/giphy mountain bar
@moonhat I believe that scene was actually from “Seems Like Old Times.”
I remember the Zagnut scene, but have never seen “Foul Play.”
@moonhat I could be wrong, but I think Mountain Bars are a regional thing, which could be why nobody has mentioned them. I once had a co-worker complaining about their lack of their availability, only to get a “never heard of it” from everyone else in the room. I don’t remember exactly where she was from, but I want to say somewhere out west. I don’t recall ever seeing one, even in my travels.
@Limewater yes yes yes! Sorry I had those 2 Chevy-and-Goldie movies mixed up (both wonderful), yes Seems Like Old Times. Ah, Aurora’s Chicken Pepperoni.
@DrWorm Doctor, I think you are correct. I found this online (and I’m in the pnw) :
“Mountain Bar is a chocolate bar made by Brown & Haley, Inc. Mountain Bars consist of chocolate and peanuts molded around one of three flavored fillings: vanilla, peanut butter or cherry. The Mountain Bar was first created in 1915 at the Brown & Haley factory in Tacoma, Washington. Originally called Mount Tacoma Bars, the name was changed in 1925 after Brown & Haley began distribution of the candy in Seattle. Shortly after World War II a cherry version of the Mountain Bar was introduced. This was followed by the peanut butter variety in 1974.”
I haven’t had a Caramello or 1000 grand in a long time those are good, So are whatchamacallits. I might buy a candy bar today.
Worst? Heath bar or Sugar Daddy. (Dis)honorable mention to standard Hershey bar.
Best? Reese’s Nutrageous, which I can’t find anywhere these days (figures). They sell “Outrageous” which puts Reese’s Pieces instead of peanuts, but it’s just not the same.
Close but not the worst. It’s basically a Snickers that hasn’t lived up to it’s full potential. If they added coconut they could have taken the title of worst easily. What could be more disappointing that biting into an unfinished candy than realizing someone had littered it with coconut shards?
Best is Ice cube candy. They are really hard to find, as they are a German chocolate. It literally melts in your mouth!
/image ice cube chocolate
@tinamarie1974 These used to be sold next to cash registers in delis and coffee shops all over NYC. They were great. They’ve now been replaced by mini Ritter Sport squares in various flavors, which are better, though I still love Ice Cubes.
@ahacksaw EXACTLY!! I first tried them on my old college campus. They sold them in a convenience store in campus, as you said next to the cash register. I haven’t seen them in a few years…
Melted down and made into home made Milky Way ice cream is awesome.
Hang on. Wait. You’re all treating the question seriously?
Milky Ways are the best. Them and Twix. I mean, we’re talking about Hershey “chocolate”, right?
@InnocuousFarmer right - the stuff that can’t be sold as chocolate in Europe because of all the"special" ingredients
My current favs are these:
They occasionally show up at Grocery Outlet for around 4 bucks, but I refuse to pay the asking price from online sellers (currently 23 bucks for two at Amazon!), so they are special treat.
The worst is a Cadbury Fruit & Nut. GTFOH Raisins in a candy bar.
TAKE5 is worse by a factor of 5.
All candy bars belong in one of two categories: those which can reasonably be eaten in exactly one bite and those which cannot. The term ‘reasonably’ refers to facts relating to the whole of the item meeting two requirements of the consumer: 1. it must allow for full insertion into the mouth with closed lips such that it can remain there indefinitely without evidence to potential witnesses (or jurors) of its’ presence; and, 2. it must be subject to complete processing by the mouth apparatus, including full gratification, while thus concealed. Many types of candy meet these qualifications but of candy bars there are only a few that may be considered. Of these, some such as a Reese’s Cup are easily manageable which means that, due to their size, they under-utilize the resources of the mouth and so receive a lower score. Others, such as Three Musketeers are of a size which exceeds the limit of capacity of the mouth (my mouth, which is average and ordinary in every way, no pun intended) and are thus unable to contend. Still others like Snickers defy the mouth’s ability to process it without mastication, which is a tell-tale clue to its’ presence, thus disqualifying it. The Milky Way, given its’ large content by weight (and volume) is at the extreme edge of meeting all the requirements, thus earning it placement at the top tier above all other candy bars, conclusively, with one possible cause of exception: when it is frozen.
I love Milky Ways.
The elderly can gum them.
I know it may be pushing the candy bar theme but those circus peanuts are downright awful
/image candy circus peanut
@ybmuG true dat
@ybmuG no! I love circus peanuts! Especially squishing them before eating them flat. Mmm
@moonhat @ybmuG YES!!! I squish them flat too!
@sammydog01 @ybmuG great minds think alike!
Come on, Bit-o-honey is the worst candy bar of ALL time (they make it in a candy bar form)
@hoosier Bit-o-honey and Heath. Now I have to go brush my teeth with Goo-Gone.
@Milyvan1 what is wrong with heath bars
?
Milky Ways suck, but not as bad as Almond Joy, Mounds or any other candy bar with coconut in it. Who eats coconut? (I’ll admit “Mounds” is a pretty awesome name though).
@wakko01 bewbs
Many sucky candy bars get better in the freezer, particularly those with some sort of “nougat”.
Others, like the fabled Heavenly Hash, become transcendent.
/image elmers heavenly hash
P.S. They make a dark chocolate version for the locals.
@mike808 Elmer’s? So they’re made with glue?
/image horse to glue factory
I understand Durian Fruit has quite a reputation. I hear it smells like feet and tastes like how you might expect something might taste if it smelled like feet.
@PocketBrain But, it’s so delicious!
Just ask our Irish friends.
Ok, call me uncultured, but so far none of the candy bars mentioned are on my “will not eat” list, because… candy!
@chienfou Ever have a Zero Bar?
/image Zero Bar
@sammydog01 yep, and it wasn’t as bad as they make it out to be.
@chienfou @sammydog01 I
zero candy bars!!