Completely unrelated thought though. I’ve always wondered what’s missing from the souls of people that HATE coconut. Not simply don’t like it, but truly loathe it. Were they trapped on an island in a previous life, surrounded by coconut trees and could never figure out how to get them open? Each day, day after day, staring at them knowing that a respite from starvation lay just beyond their reach because the stupid island had no rocks on it, only sand. Slowly they sink into madness as they waste away, beginning to believe that the coconuts are laughing at them, taunting them. Finally as their faculties begin to fade, they utter an inaudible promise. An oath they keep longer than they dared to think was possible. A vow that travels with them, crossing the bounds of their corporeal existence and following them into their next incarnation. That vow is to never forget. Never forgive coconut for making them feel this way. To remember forever, and to let their fellow deal-a-day site visitors know that…“coconut can fuck right off”
(Even though it’s really the stupid island’s fault for having coconut trees, but no rocks to open them with)
“Artificial coconut is like eating sun tan lotion.”
Great explanation! I love all coconut, but this makes total sense to me. I feel the same about anything mint or lemon flavored. Eating mint flavored anything is like eating sweet toothpaste gag and lemon flavored anything is like eating dish soap. So I totally get the sun tan lotion thing.
@kjady@moonhat Yeah, I don’t think I’ve ever had a full-sized chick-o-stick candy bar, but I really like the small ones. I do prefer the peanut butter bars which are pretty much the same thing but flatter and more rectangular with the white-ish candy coating. I’ve definitely never seen those in bar form.
Amatuers. Oh, the peanuts in this candy is bad… Eww, coconut is gross… If you want pain, true pain, you have to talk to the Norwegians or Swedes. Without a doubt, the worst “treat” that some people will swear to you is great, is Dunder Salt.
It’s like if someone tried to weaponize salt, decided it was inhumane, and then sold it for a profit. Every pouch bears the mark of Troll-Gott to serve as a warning that consuming these orbs of madness will cause you to end up living under a bridge. Offering these to others is considered a hate crime is 37 states. THIS is truly the worst candy.
Zagnut gets a lot of hate. It’s been ragged on in TV shows and movies, apparently being the only candy bar available in hell.
But it’s not bad per se, it’s just not what people expect when they think of a “candy bar.”
I sell candy at work to raise money for FIRST Robotics. My top seller, by far, is Peanut M&Ms, probably followed by Twix. Snickers, Kit Kats, Butterfinger, Skittles (except for Sour Skittles), Three Musketeers, Baby Ruth and Nestle Crunch all sell more than Milky Way but Milky Way bars do sell.
Sour Skittles I cannot give away. They make my teeth hurt. I take them home, rinse the citric acid off and then dissolve them in vodka. Or I throw them away.
As someone pointed out above for Dunder Salt, Skittles (Sour or otherwise) are not a candy bar (though they can form into a bar-like thing, ala candy corn bricks, if placed on a steam radiator for a while).
I shall have to search for Dunder Salt… the concept of weaponized salt as a candy intrigues me.
There are things I’ve tasted that are bars and way worse than a Milky Way. While I cannot think of anything on my own at present, I can confirm that Chick-O-Stick (-Stix?) are worse than Milky Way.
Chunky is probably the worst, if we’re not delving into the weird regional ones, most of which I’m probably unaware of, because I never lived in the regions they’re made and sold in.
Twin Bing, I think counts as a candy bar, and it’s two artificial cherry flavored nougat mounds covered in chocolate. No actual cherries. This isn’t a cordial either. Just a weird pink filling that kinda tastes like cough syrup, surrounded by chocolate. For some reason, people love them.
I personally am not a fan.
My sister and I went on a road trip a month ago and every time I saw a candy bar we don’t have at home, I would buy it and we would try it out. There was some ridiculous (and gross) candy we got in Montana called “Idaho Spud” and that is the worst candy bar I’ve ever had.
In case you’re wondering, the description from Wikipedia: “The candy bar consists of a cocoa-flavored marshmallow center which is covered with compound chocolate (a chocolate replacement made from cocoa, sugar, and vegetable fats) and sprinkled with coconut flakes. The oblong shape of the candy bar resembles a potato.”
I’m a caramel lover so cannot hate on the Milky Way. I can however hate on all the coconut and marshmallow candy bars that exist. They are an abomination to my mouth and I wish them into the corn field!
I’m not really a candy person, or sweets in general for that matter. Maybe that is why I am having trouble wrapping my head around whats triggering the hate for Milky Way.
Mounds and Almond Joy? Not only do they have coconut, which a lot of people don’t like, but a pretty heavy concentration of it.
Chunky? Might be the only candy bar with raisins - hate raisins and you are going to hate Chunky.
Payday? I like them fine, but they are admittedly very unique. No chocolate and a very prominent salty taste.
Chick-o-Stick and Zagnut? No chocolate… and a toasted coconut dusting.
Zero? Might be my favorite, but its one of the few bars with white chocolate, and maybe the only that is white chocolate with nougat. It’s a very unique combination, so I get the hate from others
Three Musketeers? The ratio of nougat to chocolate is incredibly high. Doesn’t bother me, but I get some people will dislike it.
All the bars above have a distinguishing characteristic that separates them from most candy bars. But what’s the objection to Milky Way? It consists of three of the most prominent ingredients in candy bars: chocolate, caramel, nougat. And hating Mr. Goodbar I really don’t get. Peanuts and chocolate. Other than a straight chocolate bar, it doesn’t get any more basic than that. I get it you don’t like it if you don’t like peanuts, but there are million other bars out there with peanuts, so not sure why Mr. Goodbar would get the scorn.
@DrWorm I don’t really get it either, but Milky Way is only a slight step up from Three Musketeers.
I don’t actually dislike Three Musketeers-- I just don’t see the point in its existence.
I’d still pick it over a Zero Bar, though. White “Chocolate” is not chocolate, and it’s pretty gross to boot.
And I’ll happily take everybody’s rejected Mr. Goodbars.
I’m not a big chocolate fan or even a candy fan. Like twice a year I’ll buy a Reece’s or a Twix but if I have to choose I prefer mambas or hichews. I like something chewy and fruity. But I would prefer to ear a Milky Way over a Hersey’s bar or babe Ruth any day.
I am unforch a huge fan of all things candy, to the sadness of the jeans my body is trying to squeeze into today. I just wanted to say that I don’t think I have ever seen Zagnuts in the store where I live, but it reminds me of one of Foul Play, when Chevy Chase is starving and on the run.
And any chocolate candy bar is so wonderful if you put it in the freezer, yes? I think so. LIke, a Charleston Chew. Or a Three Musketeers. Yummm!
Oh and nobody has mentioned Mountain Bars. The peanut butter ones are sooo good.
/giphy mountain bar
@moonhat I could be wrong, but I think Mountain Bars are a regional thing, which could be why nobody has mentioned them. I once had a co-worker complaining about their lack of their availability, only to get a “never heard of it” from everyone else in the room. I don’t remember exactly where she was from, but I want to say somewhere out west. I don’t recall ever seeing one, even in my travels.
@DrWorm Doctor, I think you are correct. I found this online (and I’m in the pnw) :
“Mountain Bar is a chocolate bar made by Brown & Haley, Inc. Mountain Bars consist of chocolate and peanuts molded around one of three flavored fillings: vanilla, peanut butter or cherry. The Mountain Bar was first created in 1915 at the Brown & Haley factory in Tacoma, Washington. Originally called Mount Tacoma Bars, the name was changed in 1925 after Brown & Haley began distribution of the candy in Seattle. Shortly after World War II a cherry version of the Mountain Bar was introduced. This was followed by the peanut butter variety in 1974.”
Close but not the worst. It’s basically a Snickers that hasn’t lived up to it’s full potential. If they added coconut they could have taken the title of worst easily. What could be more disappointing that biting into an unfinished candy than realizing someone had littered it with coconut shards?
@tinamarie1974 These used to be sold next to cash registers in delis and coffee shops all over NYC. They were great. They’ve now been replaced by mini Ritter Sport squares in various flavors, which are better, though I still love Ice Cubes.
All candy bars belong in one of two categories: those which can reasonably be eaten in exactly one bite and those which cannot. The term ‘reasonably’ refers to facts relating to the whole of the item meeting two requirements of the consumer: 1. it must allow for full insertion into the mouth with closed lips such that it can remain there indefinitely without evidence to potential witnesses (or jurors) of its’ presence; and, 2. it must be subject to complete processing by the mouth apparatus, including full gratification, while thus concealed. Many types of candy meet these qualifications but of candy bars there are only a few that may be considered. Of these, some such as a Reese’s Cup are easily manageable which means that, due to their size, they under-utilize the resources of the mouth and so receive a lower score. Others, such as Three Musketeers are of a size which exceeds the limit of capacity of the mouth (my mouth, which is average and ordinary in every way, no pun intended) and are thus unable to contend. Still others like Snickers defy the mouth’s ability to process it without mastication, which is a tell-tale clue to its’ presence, thus disqualifying it. The Milky Way, given its’ large content by weight (and volume) is at the extreme edge of meeting all the requirements, thus earning it placement at the top tier above all other candy bars, conclusively, with one possible cause of exception: when it is frozen.