The C Team.
10In a world with Super Soldier Serums and eye beams surely there must be some less useful abilities.
You’re one of those with a crappy ability. Maybe you can control the growth of grass around you, I dunno it’s your power. People responding to you have to find a way to make it useful. (Maybe turns grass into vines?)
Anyway, let’s see what you’ve got.
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I can gather total strangers to a deal-a-day forum to discuss life’s mysteries… like this one.
@chienfou How to make this useful? Uh…the items you sell are super weapons and you probably have some funny comments in your emails.
@chienfou @Targaryen
So is it just me
Bit solipsistic in here
… today’s deal is meh.
I have the uncanny ability to sit next to people anywhere I go that just want to tell me their problems, issues and lives stories.
@tinamarie1974
hence you made an excellent GOAT!
Amazing incompetence
@f00l Could be worse - could be amusing incontinence.
@f00l
This SUNDAY! SUNDAY!
Come to the arena, see
SUCH INCOMPETENCE
@macromeh you win the things
@unksol Um, thanks?
@macromeh amusing incontinence was very funny hence you win “all the things” I guess in this case just the thread. Although just is my opinions
Is “all the things” not a thing? Did I imagine that? Or is it old… Blah
@macromeh @unksol I’ve seen it used…
🎖
specifically these things!
but in this case,
Useless trivia man. A head full of wild knowledge about completely useless aircraft, military, and automotive knowledge. This will get me nowhere in life. I can absolutely put a villain to sleep with it though given the chance.
/giphy you are feeling sleepy
@Fodder650
I feel your pain friend
But I don’t know popes or kings
Won’t win Jeopardy
@replicacobra I haven’t read any Shakespeare but I can tell you almost anything about military aircraft.
So yeah won’t win on Jeopardy either.
Between computer tech, cartoon trivia (though mostly limited to Animaniacs and Tiny Toon Adventures), and catshirtswoot, I have the ability to bore people in real life.
In my presence, any clear flat surface becomes cluttered with a great variety of random miscellaneous objects in a matter of days or sometimes hours.
@Kyeh Hey, that’s my superpower too!
@mike808 Corollary talent: the ability to make tools, paperwork and other objects disappear in plain sight, especially when needed most!
@Kyeh @mike808 Me, too.
@Kyeh @mike808
I can do this especially when the objects desired are right in front of me
@f00l @Kyeh @mike808 It’s good to know we’re not alone.
@Kyeh @mike808 @OldCatLady
Well then …
Could one call us “a tribe called Quest”?
@f00l @mike808 @OldCatLady
YES! Perfect!
Controllable flatulence.
@yakkoTDI Is your stage name “Mr. Methane” as a performing flatulist?
@yakkoTDI You are either the reincarnation or the undead spirit of Le Pétomane?
@yakkoTDI
Combine ignition
You solve expensive problem
Reignite rockets
/giphy spacex landing
I have the ability to make others feel better about their decision to choose alternate lines than mine by assuring mine will always be the slowest possible simply by standing in it.
@cinoclav
Murphy’s Law(yer)
@chienfou @cinoclav
Relative progress
Everyone feels they’re moving
Unless they trail you
I have the ability to locate cell and wifi coverage dead zones within stores, and my tool of choice in performing this valuable service is to attempt using the store’s own mobile app pay-with-phone feature at the checkout.
I can magically collect dust and cat hair in minutes of sitting down, no matter where I am.
@stolicat
Do not fear the dust
It’s the corpses of others
You accumulate
@replicacobra thank you for that thought - I am off to have bad dreams now …
I’m able to eat a powdered sugar covered donut wtihout getting powdered sugar all over me.
@gt0163c
/giphy whoa
@gt0163c
Have you ever been to Cafe du Monde in NOLA?. That would be super handy there.
@chienfou I’ve never been to NOLA. But it’s on my list of places I would love to go…once this stupid pandemic is done and not during hurricane season.
@gt0163c
DO IT! It’s a great city with lots to see and do besides the music scene…
Mardi gras float museum
Cajun cooking school (eat the lesson results!)
WWII museum
Katrina museum
Antebellum plantations/history nearby
Cool old architecture with an ‘old world’ vibe
@gt0163c
oh… and great food!
@chienfou @gt0163c
You might be too late. Ida is currently bearing down on NOLA on the 16th anniversary of Katrina.
My family evacuated, but many simply can’t. NOLA will be in the NE quadrant of Ida’s path, so there will be a shit-ton of rain and high winds. The heart of Cajun country will be hit hard. All along Bayou Lafourche, from Grande Isle to Houma and Morgan City will get hit hard.
@chienfou @gt0163c @mike808 glad your family is safe
@gt0163c @mike808
Yep, they are getting it on the chin (or in the nuts depending on how you view it) once again, and this is a Cat 4 storm while Katrina was a 3… Thankfully there were major changes/upgrades to infrastructure after 2005 so now is the chance to see if they will work as designed. Let’s hope so!
i have the power to not get hangovers. on its surface, this seems like an A team level ability, until you factor in hungover, whiny friends that you have to listen to and get food for
@carl669 fuck
This topic just reminded me of a podcast I listened to back in the way before times (Google tells me likely in early 2008) called Playing for Keeps. It’s by Mur Lafferty and is a serialize fiction with a similar premise…group of people with C list super powers save the world. I remember enjoying the story.
My personal superpower is Bad Timing. If I’m engaged in a major project of some sort, it’s a safe bet that whatever labors I’m expending will be rendered worthless and irrelevant by tech innovations, changes in the marketplace, fashion shifts, or other developments that devalue it dramatically either just as I complete the project or within such a short time afterwards as to cause it to acquire an air of Quixotean futility.
@werehatrack
for
extra
@werehatrack
for this gem:
oh… and here’s another
you really have a way with words!
@werehatrack
Futility?
Perhaps …
perhaps there is sometimes the very opposite within some personal system of achievement …
perhaps not always “metaphysical futility” …
/youtube impossible Dream Brian Stokes Michell Tony Awards
When I am searching for something, I always find it in the last place I look.
@mike808 I mean it would be super weird it you kept looking
@mike808 @unksol
Relieved! There it is!
I had better keep looking
It’s around somewhere
Super bladder power. I can hold it for hours, but not an unlimited time. Pretty useless; outside of certain situations, restrooms are generally available things. And it will probably wind up causing amusing incontinence in old age.
@djslack
This would be a great power to have in many places in Europe, where public WCs are not that common.
@djslack
A super bladder
When it comes out it cuts steel
Like a waterjet
@chienfou @djslack
No public restroom
A great way to get tourists
Peeing on your house