Masturbator Meets Hard End
2016 Darwin Award Winner
Confirmed True by Darwin
It was not traffic he was trying to beat…
(22 January 2016, Michigan) Referred to as a “distracted driver,” Clifford Ray Jones, 58, was driving without pants – without seatbelt – and with a porno flick screening on his mobile device. Add a wide-open sunroof on a cold winter Sunday, and you have a recipe for disaster.
He should have kept his hands on the wheel instead of the stick. In the wee hours (at 3:40am) Clifford’s Toyota went out of control on the onramp to I-75, rolled, and crashed, ejaculating our hero through the sunroof in a spectacular climax to his life. Come and gone, Clifford and his beloved wanky will be fondly remembered in our archives.
(Speaking of buzzing…it makes my brain bunny-hop to lasers and Buzz Lightyear’s “To infinity, and beyond!” Somehow, I don’t think that “beyond” part meant going into the magical space of the vaginal universe.)
( … "To infinity, and beyond!” Somehow, I don’t think that “beyond” part meant going into the magical space of the vaginal universe.)
I think it only means the “beyond” part for those whose bodies happen to possess a vagina and the magical vaginal space beyond as part of one’s own anatomy.
I’ll pass.
@RiotDemon I don’t blame you, this is dumber than plastic surgery parties.
@cranky1950
/giphy plastic surgery parties
@narfcake Giphy fail 100%
@Fuzzalini @giphy? Fail? Nooooo. You’re kidding, right?
@ruouttaurmind
/giphy 100% FAIL
You know how a guy cringes when another guy gets a knee to the groin? I am doing the female version of that! Holy mother that is insane!
@mikibell My thoughts too. Which probably aren’t giphy’s thought …
/giphy knee to the groin
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
@mikibell Other adverse side effects may include loss of sleep due to an incessant buzzing noise and really, really painful sex
Hornets’ nests are still ok, right?
stupidity has no gender
Good grief that is too weird. Reminds me of a toddler and what it might put up its nose. Anyway the article said:
Celibacy anyone?
They’ve come up with a laser version of vaginal rejuvenation. I imagine there’s less after-buzzing.
http://www.almalasers.com/alma-products/femilift/
(Speaking of buzzing…it makes my brain bunny-hop to lasers and Buzz Lightyear’s “To infinity, and beyond!” Somehow, I don’t think that “beyond” part meant going into the magical space of the vaginal universe.)
@LaVikinga
NSFW to follow
I think it only means the “beyond” part for those whose bodies happen to possess a vagina and the magical vaginal space beyond as part of one’s own anatomy.
Richard Pryor:
@f00l This is what my husband refers to as the 51/100 Rule. "Women are 51% of the population, but own 100% of the pussy."
Real charmer, that one.
@LaVikinga
he must have some redeeming characteristics
@Cerridwyn He’s the only man in the world willing to put up with my BS, bossyboots, & crazy.