@studerc emerged from the shadows and decided to purchase one. Punish his foolishness by giving him all remaining stock after the day and require him to chronicle is journey to rid himself of all of them.
Take off the bands, attach them together, and use them to reflect the light of the sun into the eye of a thousand people or into both eyes of 500 people or some other combination you’d prefer!
Well, they’re leftovers, so, stick em in the fridge with the intent to finish them later, forget about em for a few months, then chuck em when they start smellin’ funny.
I was going to suggest setting each watch 1 minute apart so all but one will be correct … except meh “only” has 1,000 and not 1,440, so this plan won’t work.
If they are smart enough, we should be able to make fighting robots from them. Or just attach them to fighting robots. Let’s not work too hard for this pun.
I’m thinking the next Fuck-you buckaroo grand prize will be a pallet of these on your doorstep! You know what their reaction would be…(Hint: the name of a very familiar website)
Rent a carnival booth at the County Fair. Make a miniature ski slope out of styrofoam and plywood with 50 “trails” that are wide enough for a single watch. The slopes have to be steep enough so that a vibrating watch will “ski”, slide down, but not so steep that one would slide when it isn’t vibrating.
Modify a floppy birds clone into a skiing watch app. Each player pays $2 to race a watch down the mountain. Put 50 watches at the top, collect the $100, and start the game. Each time a player gets their floppy watch past a pole in the app, the real watch vibrates and slides a little down the slope.
Announce the relaunch of Mediocritee on social media with a “special meh promotion” of a “free Alexa-enabled smartwatch” and free shipping all month for the first 500 people to sign up for VMP. Just keep going with it if you get more than that.
It would be pretty badass to make a shirt of of the watch faces. Take them off the bands then use some wire to tie them all together in a shirt pattern. It’d be like chain mail armor made of watches.
Make a commehmorative art installation for your hip tech office! First text “meh” to all the watches, then glue them together in the shape of your official logo, and secure to wall. #bargainbasemehntart #mehrthastewart
fuku/fuko bags!
Mine crypto
VMP “reward”?
@Zeusandhera A just punishment for our poor decision to be VMP on Watch Day (or freakin’ Watch Week this week).
@Zeusandhera I support this notion.
It’s been quite a bit since socks mysteriously appeared in my mailbox. I’d be satisfied with a (formerly) smart watch.
Lift them in the air with drones.
@medz and drop em right? like maybe at targets?
@thismyusername nah. Just get them off the ground.
@medz @thismyusername and as you watch the watches ascend, chuckle softly to yourself and, under your breath, say “oh, how time flies…”
You send one to every vmp member who hasn’t already bought one as punishment.
Or you send all of them to one vmp member to make an example of them.
@DaveInSoCal You know how a certain meh staffer still hasn’t fulfilled ex-goat prizes?
@DaveInSoCal @narfcake
I do.
Slip them into the pockets of unsuspecting randos.
@medz
BATH
I’ll send you the address where I dropped off the 900 fitness bands. They can have a 2 for 1 deal!
@Ozzie2191 i cant imagine there’s anything worse than those fitness bands…
Idea #46836.
@studerc emerged from the shadows and decided to purchase one. Punish his foolishness by giving him all remaining stock after the day and require him to chronicle is journey to rid himself of all of them.
Take off the bands, attach them together, and use them to reflect the light of the sun into the eye of a thousand people or into both eyes of 500 people or some other combination you’d prefer!
Well, they’re leftovers, so, stick em in the fridge with the intent to finish them later, forget about em for a few months, then chuck em when they start smellin’ funny.
@nogoodwithnames But the batteries will still be good then. Right @shahnm?
@Kidsandliz @nogoodwithnames Yep. You can even use the watches to time how long they stay fresh!
I was going to suggest setting each watch 1 minute apart so all but one will be correct … except meh “only” has 1,000 and not 1,440, so this plan won’t work.
/giphy TL;DR
Put 'em in the fridge with the batteries. Duh.
You could watch them
The Greatest Battle Royale of All Time!!!
If they are smart enough, we should be able to make fighting robots from them. Or just attach them to fighting robots. Let’s not work too hard for this pun.
@simplersimon Maybe just feed em all into a wood chipper, n least mangled one wins.
@nogoodwithnames @simplersimon or make another contest - smash one and have us guess how many pieces. The closest guess get sent the lot of them.
My 501©3 would HAPPILY take them!
Put stickers on them
/image Marvin the Martian watch
@medz
Cool watch!
Honorary #timesup awards.
Start at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave.
Multiple winner in residence.
I wouldn’t tell time, I would dictate time!
@PocketBrain
Time Truck?
I’m thinking the next Fuck-you buckaroo grand prize will be a pallet of these on your doorstep! You know what their reaction would be…(Hint: the name of a very familiar website)
Put 'em in question blocks, then wait. That’ll surprise that chubby plumber.
Put Rolex stickers on them and stand on the streets of NYC to sell them?
Use them as an object lesson in deflation?
Martian Watch races at the County Fair.
Rent a carnival booth at the County Fair. Make a miniature ski slope out of styrofoam and plywood with 50 “trails” that are wide enough for a single watch. The slopes have to be steep enough so that a vibrating watch will “ski”, slide down, but not so steep that one would slide when it isn’t vibrating.
Modify a floppy birds clone into a skiing watch app. Each player pays $2 to race a watch down the mountain. Put 50 watches at the top, collect the $100, and start the game. Each time a player gets their floppy watch past a pole in the app, the real watch vibrates and slides a little down the slope.
The “winner” gets to keep their watch.
Liquidate in 1 lot somewhere.
Announce the relaunch of Mediocritee on social media with a “special meh promotion” of a “free Alexa-enabled smartwatch” and free shipping all month for the first 500 people to sign up for VMP. Just keep going with it if you get more than that.
Only 1000? You’re a third of the way there so far today. You go Meh!
If they are so smart, why don’t you just ask THEM?
@rockblossom
My sources say no
/8ball Are smartwatch actually smart?
@narfcake @rockblossom Probably you asked the wrong question
It is decidedly so
/8ball are smartwatches actually snarky smart ass?
@narfcake @rockblossom HA! And THAT was the first try which is why I replied rather then edit.
Put them in a time capsule dated 1999 with party favors to be opened in 100 years. The Prince tape is optional.
It would be pretty badass to make a shirt of of the watch faces. Take them off the bands then use some wire to tie them all together in a shirt pattern. It’d be like chain mail armor made of watches.
Ha Ha! It looks like you all have plenty of time on your hands!
<rimshot>
I am here through the weekend
/giphy tip your waitress
Make a commehmorative art installation for your hip tech office! First text “meh” to all the watches, then glue them together in the shape of your official logo, and secure to wall. #bargainbasemehntart #mehrthastewart
Uh, remember that time you guys went out back and played baseball with a Cheerson Mini Quadcopter? You get the idea.
@cinoclav I wonder if the new HQ has space for such carnage… If not, someone really dropped the ball.
@medz It has more than enough space as I recall from the map. There was a whole discussion on what to do with the empty space.
@cinoclav You mean the pasture land? That grass is flammable! I’m talking like a reinforced bunker.
Looks to be a field not pasture, sorry.
A silage pit would be pretty cheap and would suffice.
/image silage pit concrete
@medz I’m not suggesting they take a flamethrower to them! On the other hand…
Make 1000 collars for mini dachounds:)
Tie them to 1000 helium balloons and release them into the air. Attach a note to each box saying something like