So, @narfcake
8I'm blaming this on you. Last month, we had our trees trimmed way back. Part of the trees had beetle damage and they needed work done. Our neighbors have always hated the trees (which were here when we moved in) and are quite vocal about it. Everything that goes wrong on their property is because of our trees.
Well, this morning hubby was gluing the mirror back on the truck (driver's side rearview) and I heard someone talking. It was the neighbor (the one who speeds and tailgates) complaining about all of the sap. "I just can't live like this..." he said. Sap on his van, sap on his equipment, sap on the driveway -"I track sap in the house", sap running down the screens...
I blame you, @narfcake, for further ruining what started out as a pretty sucky day anyway.
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oh man. you've got a lot to atone for @narfcake. while i'm here, i might as well blame you for forgetting my heavy whipping cream at home. what the hell am i going to put in my coffee now?!
@carl669 I can get you a good deal on tree sap.
@nadroj
@carl669 Nothing. Let the panda have it.
http://shirt.woot.com/offers/will-wake-for-coffee-1
@carl669 I got yer cream right here....
@lisaviolet psshh...that's whipped cream, not whipping cream. @narfcake the panda still owes me for the bamboo. screw that bastard!
@carl669 And what might the ingredients in whipped cream be? Huh? Huh? Look it up, Mr Old Goat Smart Guy.
I've made whipped cream from scratch on more than one occasion. It's sugar and heavy whipping cream. So, there.
@lisaviolet i know that. but what kind of a @communist puts whipped cream in their french press coffee?
@carl669 french press coffee? What the hell are you, a traitor or something? I bet you eat french fries and french toast, too. Here in our house, we have freedom fries and freedom toast. I make my coffee the American way. With a Mr Coffee drip coffee maker, black with no frou frou crap.
@lisaviolet ok. that made me snortle. i completely forgot about the freedom fries absurdity. damned congress critters.
@carl669 Coffee is meant to be black and bitter! That's why it wakes you up! And if you happen to be out of coffee, some used motor oil does the trick as well :)
@carl669 Try the Aeropress. Easier cleanup and less crunchy coffee. REALLY works well camping.
@carl669 ummm half and half anyone?
@communist
And that's not all! There's more! And it all began after midnight. So, it's officially on you.
So, a great start on your reign! Thanks. Thanks a lot, @narfcake.
@lisaviolet You need hugs
@lisaviolet Sorry to hear about your bestie's sister. I'll pray for her.
@juststephen Thank you.
@Foxborn Thank you. I got a text from my bestie, putting her sister on pain meds will kill her. "Do you want to put her on life support?" they asked. She said to me "it's one thing to put down your cat, but it's another to put down your sister"....This has to be so damned hard on her.
@lisaviolet I really hope Mystie is another cat (p.s. sorry about your bestie's sister)
@chellemonkey Yeah, Mystie is another cat. Sofa cover is cleaned, loveseat cover is in the dryer. And I haven't heard from my bestie since before seven this morning.
@lisaviolet Cancer just sucks. Cancer without hope sucks even more. Hugs.
@Kidsandliz Thank you. No news since yesterday, but the last I heard, she's going into hospice. She has a couple of dogs, ten cats and takes care of a feral colony. This is all so very sad.
@lisaviolet That is what I worry about when I die of my cancer - my cats (well and my kid too). I hate to give them away now and some are 14, but I don't want them left behind either (so trying to make plans for that). As far as the feral colony who relies on her, talk to whatever local area vets who take care of fixing ferals. They can let the people who care for ferals know and someone may take over her colony for her. As far as her animals, if family won't take them, a no kill shelter may help when they find out about her circumstances.
@lisaviolet All I can say is sorry.
http://shirt.woot.com/offers/why-is-my-butt-warm
@narfcake
@narfcake
@narfcake I blame you for the following.
One. This morning I woke up on the wrong side of the bed
Two. I couldn't get to sleep until 4 due to your annoying bleating.
Three. The idiots outside are playing their loud music. You didn't bite their cords therefore eliminating the racket.
Four. Obama was elected. You know one more vote from a goat would've prevented that.
Five. I've been hurting all day with my stomach being sick like it usually is. I know it's a common occurrence with my issues, but today I have someone to blame.
Seven. My cellphone was almost dead when I woke up. Who've you been calling all night on my phone? Your goat army? Sheesh.
Eight. I'm starving but I can't eat anything because I'm too nauseated. Did you leave a little 'gift' somewhere that's now no longer smelling so I can't find it?
Nine. The grass needs cutting. But it's not cut. Could you please get on that please?
Ten. The sun came up this morning. Oh, right, that's just nature, not you.
Eleven. The cat kept on scratching at my door. Being a goat, couldn't you herd him somewhere else? Can't animals talk to each other or something?
Twelve. My mail isn't here yet. Did you eat the mailman or something? He's sometimes here by now and I'm looking for a package.
Thirteen. You ate that package, didn't you? That's why the mailman didn't arrive? I'll assume you did.
Fourteen. My mouse's battery keeps on dying. It's supposed to last longer than it has. Have you been using my computer with your hooves while I've been gone?
Fifteen. I'm supposed to be going cabining tonight. If I find out that my air mattress has holes in it, I'll know who to blame. A certain little scapegoat who's to blame for everything.
Sixteen. This list is getting rather long. I blame that on you too. Why not, you're the scapegoat, we blame everything on you.
Seventeen. There was no Fuku last night. Did you eat them all? Seriously?
Eighteen. I'm itchy and scratchy this morning. I think I'm allergic to goat.
Nineteen. No birds have eaten from the bird feeder this morning. Did you scare them away?
Twenty. Did you notice that there was no #6? You ate it.
@juststephen Truly awesome blame list. Way to go!
@lisaviolet Yep. He has a lot of explaining to do.
@juststephen Grass green AA shirts!
Grass ... green ... ummm?
@narfcake I have a couple of those.
@narfcake Hmmmm...the grass was green in Mystie's cat barf.....it IS your fault.
@narfcake my little guy has the elements one. Thanks, Goodwill.
@lisaviolet I can hate your neighbors for you. I'm really very good at hating neighbors. Just ask my neighbors.
@Teripie Yes, thank you.
Your neighbors sound even more delightful than mine @lisaviolet .
I'm going to blame @narfcake for a certain giant company that my husband has toiled away at (even though he hates it he has always made enough that I can stay home with the kids and my health problems) jumping the gun in anticipation of buying a certain network. They hired far too many people as if it was a done deal and now that it's fallen through, they don't want to look even worse by firing all of them. Instead they are hoping people will just quit due to not being able to make as much in a month as they normally make in 3-4 days. Things are looking so bad that he's trying to find work, but I'm going to have to get a job for the first time in 9 years. I was a travel agent, that was my skill set. While I'm at it, @narfcake why did you have to encourage all those giant online companies that came and killed the travel industry? Oh wait, I used to work for one.
@jaremelz Back in the 90's, whenever I flew, I used local travel agencies; the online travel sites didn't offer any significant savings in price or in time (dialup modems, woohoo!). Alas, after 2001, airline travel got decimated and the whole industry changed.
@narfcake It really did. I adored being an agent in the 90's. I worked for a discount agency for a couple of really cool nuts who taught us all the tricks that used to exist. Every day was hard as hell but fun. There used to be so many ways to manipulate fares.
@jaremelz What a bunch of maroons? Who hires more staff until you know you need it? Seems someone was counting their chickens a little too soon and the chickens are the ones scratching for feed.
@lisaviolet They really are. Perhaps that's why they are one of the most hated companies out there.
Since we're starting your month off right...
@narfcake, I blame you for the work we didn't get finished in our week of yardwork and garage sale prep.
I blame you for me typing out this list instead of finishing up the garage sale prep.
I blame you for the fact that I want to have a "name your own price" table of items, but implementing it is more of a pain in the ass than I'm willing to put up with today, so I won't know if people try to play fair, or just grab all the shit on that table and run while laughing like hyenas.
I blame you for my favorite AA shirt not fitting me again yet. Yeah, totally your fault - not all caused by my love of cake.
I also blame you for me forgetting to blame @carl669 last week for my dog developing a Hot Spot, scaring the crap out of me, and costing us $150 in surprise vet bills.
Welcome to goathood, shirt boy. May your reign be long and blameful.
@Thumperchick It's been a day ... and there's 30 more to go. OY! As for shirts, I was down to a medium, but in recent months, I'm back to a large. :(
http://shirt.woot.com/offers/questionable-food-conscience
BTDT with my doggie. To prevent her from scratching last time, she got the cone of shame. She was NOT happy.
Welcome to your new job @narfcake
New day, new blame. @narfcake, I blame you for me having to have a 2nd day of garage sale. Why didn't you tell more people to come by? People with money to spend? WHYYYYYYYYYYY?
@Thumperchick Sorry - I don't do social media.
How many garages did you have for sale anyways?
@narfcake several.
@Thumperchick Did you also have any yards for sale too?
@narfcake Nah, we sold that already. (We really did sell some green felt turf...)
@Thumperchick so the big question is did you get most of it from Meh? Or just random stuff to get rid of...
@sohmageek some from meh, some from woot, some from life accumulated crap. Sold most of it. Just packed up the bulk of the remainder for s donation.
@Thumperchick s donation not a crap exchange... Interesting.
@sohmageek @Thumperchick was just being nice. I mean, why thrust this stuff on unsuspecting mehricans when it can be thrusted upon the local community instead?
@narfcake @somageek - Something like that. A good portion of these items were from meh sales or fukus past. I assume that if everyone just shuffled the same crap in a circle, it wouldn't be as much fun. Besides - if I join the exchange, I end up with just as much crap as I just got rid of!
@Thumperchick you just have to use a bigger box! I mean in my box to send there are some meh (not from meh just meh quality) items. Some items I really liked but thought I could share and some that people may or may not get the joke about. :)
@Thumperchick But you might get some really cool crap. Like a bag with your name on it.
I blame @narfcake for this most magnificent spring day. Light breeze, not too warm, not too hot, wind chimes occasionally ringing....
Hubby was gone, I had a whole day of me time, the phone didn't ring once, no one was having a shitload of visiting screaming kids, no parties with loud music, no one working on cars or bikes...
Yes, more days like this one, please. I don't have a problem blaming @narfcake for this one at all. Almost makes up for yesterday
Well, there was that poo that Mystie let go this morning that had us both holding our breath. Hubby handed me paper towels, one handful wet, the other dry and he said goodbye and walked out the door. That poo was pretty rank....
@lisaviolet Glad to hear that today is better, though I won't take any credit for the good. I'll keep my fingers crossed for your best friend's sister.