Nutrisystem?
11Has anyone here used nutrisystem or any other kind of meal service? I’m not interested in liquid meal plans like Soylent or Huel.
I’m having a hard time dealing with my depression. With that, the first thing that goes out the window for me is wanting to cook. It’s not the same without my mom being around. I’m working with my doctor on my medication, so I’m not worried about that.
What I am worried about is the weight gain that has come with not cooking at home. I’m hoping if I do a meal service where I do not have to think about food for a month it’ll bring some normalcy back into my life.
I’ve been researching all the different brands and it makes my head spin.
Was hoping for someone that has actually eaten one of these plans to give advice if they tasted good or horrible, etc.
Thanks.
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I’ve done Medifast a few times in the past. You eat 5 prepackaged things a day and a “lean n green” at night. (The first time I did it, it was doctor supervised and we did 7 MF meals and zero real food - Which IMO was way easier than trying to figure out what a “lean n green” meal is)
The meals are usually under 5 bucks (usually 5-7 packages per box, boxes are $20-$30) They have snacks, shakes, freeze dried soups and such. It is what it is - they aren’t gourmet, some are better than others. You can buy a case of premiere protein drinks and get basically the same thing for half the price - but you said you didn’t want shakes.
That said, it works. It works well, you can lose tons of weight reasonably easily. BUT - as soon as you start eating real food it’s gonna ALL come back unless you’re hyper-vigilant.
If you want something that’s brainless that you can just make then this is a good option. But it’s expensive as heck. We also tried Optifast at one point and it’s ok, more shake centered with fewer food options though.
Google “medifast like liquid diets” and there’s a ton of DIY options that’ll walk you through it. You’re really better off doing a Weight Watchers or meal prepping instead of the prepackaged stuff.
I dunno if what you are planning on doing is a good idea. It might just be a waste of money.
I know that after my mom died, my grief was so great. She had been the center of my life for the 12 years that I took care of her (and then the additional 2 years in the nursing home.
Anyway, doing almost anything was an effort, especially cooking. Added to this, my friends insisted on taking me out to eat. I’m the kind of person who only likes to eat out for breakfast, but I went out with them for both lunch and dinner. (I went with them not to make myself feel better, but to make them feel better.)
And I gained weight, lots of weight. Meals served in restaurants are HUGE. Eating out at fast food places – the food is loaded with calories. Not good.
So, the first thing I did was only eat half of what was served at a restaurant and I took the rest home for another meal. Fast food is another problem, but there are usually foods on their menus that are not loaded with calories, although they may not be quite so satisfying to the taste buds.
And I started making a few of my favorite meals at home. Some of them were my mom’s favorites meals, which was hard at first. During this time, I tried to make meals that I could also freeze for later. (I still freeze some meals.)
Little by little, the weight came off.
Anyway, what I’d hate is to see you waste your money on foods/plans like nutrisystem, because from what I’ve see, they really don’t work in the long term, unless you plan on doing them for the rest of your life. I hope that’s not the case.
It’s hard, I know.
@RiotDemon I’d like to add, it really does get easier as time goes by. But there are times… Sometimes I am going along doing Barney things and before I know it I’m hit in the chops by memories of my mom and it just about brings me to my knees. RD, this is normal; this is part of the grieving process and no amount of meds for depression will take this away from you. You don’t want them to. You need to grieve.
And crying is very good for you.
Sorry about your mom. Please accept my condolences.
I did Nutrisystem many many years ago and while I did lose weight, I found the food not terribly satisfying.
I used Diet To Go a couple of years ago, not so much to lose weight but more to ensure that I had a couple of healthy meals every day because I just didn’t have time to cook. Those meals were pretty good - you take them from the fridge to microwave and voila, you’re good to go. They’ve got different plans and menu categories and you can opt to pick the meals up locally or have them delivered.
Best of luck with trying to stay on track nutritionally!
Another solution use the TV dinner “restaurant” section of the grocery store. The buy the better ones. You might need to add veggies (buy some frozen veggies they are fast and easy). I hate to cook. Learned to cook better when I had a kid as DHS takes a dim view of not feeding your kid decent meals. Still hate to cook. The better TV dinners are OK. And they are food that you don’t have to do much to prepare. At this point there are a lot of choices across the brands. And typically they are no more than 300-450 calories.
And don’t beat yourself up. It takes time to get a grip on grief. Lots of time. Eventually the periods of intense pain are shorter and further apart though you can still accidentally be triggered unexpectedly - even years later. When my brother was murdered by his wife I think it took me around 3 months before I even laughed again for the first time. When my dad died, even though we knew it was coming, it wasn’t any easier. Take care.
You said meal ‘service’. Like… one that delivers? Or do you mean meal plan?
Also, if you like any probiotic foods, do yourself a favor and eat some. 90% of serotonin is created in the gut and a good gut microbiome opposes depression. They’re finding out more and more that a lot of people that are just generally depressed (not slotting you in this category, you have true reason) have too much bad and not enough good gut bacteria and when they address the issue, the depression goes.
If you are wanting quick meals at home that are better than eating out, try just stocking up on the frozen Eating Well meals or Fit Bowls, stuff like that. Buy bagged salad and have some of that with it.
My daughter used Hello Fresh for a while and really liked it.
If you can make yourself do it, maybe before the wk starts, make a big bowl of something like a pasta salad with a lot of greens and stuff thrown in (and some chicken or black beans for protein) and eat off of that for several days.
If you have anything like a whole foods around, buy some healthy foods off of their food bar and bring it home and eat that for a few days.
I understand where you’re coming from, been there done that. I had a difficult time functioning or making any decisions. 'taint easy.
The meds will help. Just don’t stay on them forever or you’ll get numb to emotions that you should be having eventually.
I know it’s more than you asked for but just a few ideas to keep you out of the restaurants and eating decently.
Hang in there chickie!
@lseeber just curious, how long is too long to stay on an SSRI? I’m so thankful for anti-depression meds. But your comment makes me nervous.
@moonhat Sorry, didn’t mean to make you nervous. Personally, I wouldn’t stay on them over a yr and actually, when I had a very traumatic situation some yrs back I got off them in 10 months. Doc actually wanted me on them a bit longer but I felt that I could deal and they were actually making me somewhat aggressive. One of my sisters was on them for about 2.5 yrs and I watched what happened to her on them. She became emotionally cold toward a lot of things, including her husband and family. She went out and had affairs, left her husband and wasn’t really dealing with her kids appropriately. She had an “i don’t care” attitude for the most part. All of this was VERY out of character for her but now she is living the consequences. Doesn’t happen to everyone that way but I’ve seen it more than once. Also, a neuroscientist I’m familiar with says that organically, the longer you are on them (and I think she’s talking yrs) the greater the chances of them shortening your life by what they do in your brain long term.
That all being said… I believe there is a time and place for them in order for us to function properly. But long term, we need less medicinal ways of coping.
@lseeber @moonhat
I’ve used ssri’s (in my case Prozac) off and on for decades. I know of no long-term or short neg consequences or side-effects.
I have many friends and some family members with similar histories.
So I don’t think there is a hard time-limit. Certainly not one that applies to every patient. However, that doesn’t mean everyone will be ok taking them long term - or even short term.
Ssri’s and similar meds have consequences for brain function, and that is a very individual thing.
As for “acting-out” supposed consequences such as the coldness, or decreased family relationship health, as mentioned above, I’ve never experienced or heard of anything like that within my circle of family and friends.
But …
But that doesn’t mean there can’t be interpersonal or social effects. This is just such an individual thing.
I would suspect that acting-out or behavioral changes following the taking ssri’s and similar meds comes not from the meds, but from something else: that the patient is finally under treatment or that their brain chemistry might be improving means that other stuff comes to the surface that needs to be worked out emotionally or interpersonally.
And sometimes, when emotional stuff surfaces, persons who don’t already have strong emotional coping skills make really poor decisions or behave badly. It may take a while for all that to resolve. Relationships may go thru a lot of trauma.
But in that case, it may be that the person or the relationship was already a mess or in trauma and it was all just less visibly played out previously.
Mental health and adult expectations of good health and good relationships are a complicated business. Many traumatized or troubled individuals may appear to be functioning ok on the surface. Then it can all fall apart - many possible stresses can set this off. There are many possible causes for it.
Bateson would say it’s “overdetermined”. That word got overused a lot. But in this case it seems right.
We as a culture are getting better at dealing with all this, but we aren’t great at it. We fumble our way forward with this, individually and socially speaking. For the time being, prob the best thing for troubled relationships and troubled persons to to get a really good therapist process going.
That’s not a great answer and there’s much that won’t get resolved quickly or that will take a long time to improve.
But I don’t know of a better approach at present.
For the involved individuals, I would day, stay in touch with the prescribing physician and get a therapist if things aren’t going well.
For the family, of things are not going well, get into family therapy.
And read up. Read read read. Relationships stuff and mood stuff and responses to stress are very complex. Not always easily solved.
@f00l @moonhat Well, there ya have it then.
@f00l @lseeber @moonhat And you can see how “normal” @f00l is.
@Barney @lseeber @moonhat
Whatever is odd or un-useful about me was odd or un-useful long before ssri’s, so l’ll have to put that responsibility elsewhere.
I’m sorry I don’t have time to respond to everyone. You all have given me a lot to think about.
I think I might do a 5 day nutrisystem box because I can buy it from Walmart and I’m not stuck buying two months of stuff. If anything, maybe after eating 5 days of diet food I’ll want to start cooking again.
I do know how to cook, and I know I’ll get back into it. I’m just overwhelmed at the thought of doing it right now. When I go to the grocery store, nothing really appeals to me. The last time I lost a significant amount of weight was when I was cooking often. Times were different then.
Thanks for all the insight.
I’ve done both Nutrisystem and BistroMD. Of the two, if you can afford it, go with BistroMD. The food is amazing (for what it is - everything has to be shipped frozen and is mostly microwaved for reheating; no fresh veggies and that can get a little old sometimes). I go on and off it depending on how I’m feeling about my finances.
Nutrisystem is… tolerable. It’s definitely edible food. That’s pretty low praise but the best I can give it. BistroMD is real food, but sometimes gets a little same-y.
Edit: Oh, yeah, BistroMD has the weekly meal plan but they also have a slightly cheaper ala carte ‘Balance by BistroMD’ store where you can just pick however much of whichever meals you want, but without the Nutritionist-Approved-Balanced-Daily-Nutrition-For-Weight-Loss. Never used that, personally.
It’s totally cool to cut out cooking and some other activities that you would do normally.
But … As @Barney mentioned … Eating out too often is not healthy, and conditions many of us to find insanely meal portions to be normal.
And, as many here have mentioned, grief just goes on and on. The acute pain grief The black mood grief. The numbness grief. The “what’s the point” grief. The resentment/frustration/anger grief. The exhaustion grief. The “I just don’t care” grief. And so on.
So … Perhaps try to have the makings of cold cut sandwiches, salads, and omelets or scrambled eggs at home. Then you can just kinda grab and eat.
The gut biome thing is prob v v important. What would I know. But I hear it matters a bunch.
I have some friends who have used some home meal services. I’ll ask tomorrow.
Basically everything comes in appropriate portions, ready to put together. Cooking is either not required or minimal and v fast.
I know of working parents who do well with the frozen Crock-Pot or instaPot type meals in a bag from the freezer section. They change the meals up with alt frozen veggies etc. I think it’s “throw in the pot, set the cooking parameters, and off to work” thing. When you get home it’s ready. I think these meals are pretty economical also.
I’m glad that you appear to be carrying on reasonably well in spite of grief. I hope the anti-depressants help some.
But basically grief just sucks and it’s horrible and has to be lived thru. And it’s not even constant. A person can think they have a handle on it, and then grief can attack in new or difficult or painful ways. It can be like a monster that won’t let go. It has its own course and that is diff for everyone. But I think 2 years min is pretty normal for a close family member, tho the character of the grieving changes constantly over the months/years, and over the months it gets easier for almost everyone.
And then we are different, after we’ve survived and endured the loss and it’s aftermath.
(Right. Obvious. No shit, Sherlock.)
Sometimes I wonder about the evolutionary advantages grief must supposedly confer upon us. I suppose the advantages are in the human ability for very strong attachment and bonding.
I’m sure you have the courage and resilience to deal with the horribleness of this process. But that’s me looking from the outside.
Easy for me. Not for you. : (
I’m sure there are times when you have no words to explain how used up and taken over and exhausted you are by it all.
Another thing you might find useful is a local prepped meal service. There are probably several of them where you are, there are here anyway. You go get, say, a weeks worth and they are microwave up heat and eat predone meals that are usually pretty healthy. Maybe better than boxed mass market stuff. It can be hit or miss because they’re usually small businesses but you may find a winner.
@RiotDemon I’m a little bit of an oddball, because I really love to cook – much more than most people. But that goes out the window when I’m depressed, and I just eat whatever is around…out or in, I don’t care.
But one thing I’ve found about my own depression is that cooking is a pretty good way to start climbing out of it. Everyone is different, and maybe ‘climbing out of it’ isn’t your thing. But for me, making that effort feels good in a lot of ways, and can trigger some cascading effects that are all good. Sooooo…if you can cultivate a bank of recipes you like making, are in your price range, are the right level of difficulty/annoyingness/etc, that can be a resource when/if you don’t want to eat out or do a meal service.
My only experience with your actual question comes from the Amazon make-a-meal kits and Blue Apron. They are both pretty similar. Not sure if this is what you’re talking about. As someone who enjoys cooking, I find them kind of Not My Bag. But…if you want something on rails that you can follow with very few hiccups (I will never be on team “hiccoughs”, FWIW), I can pretty solidly recommend them. They’re well thought out, tasty, and not brutally expensive.
I was on the diabetic Nutrisystem for three weeks, hope you like “BBQ” flavor because about every other meal had it. I was so hungry that I dreamed of food, which I’d never done before. Finally gave up and went to medication, which fixed me right up (Type 2 diabetes).
It is better to focus on vegetables and fruits. It really will be good for health and will prevent excess weight.
If it’s not the cooking itself, but the planning and shopping and all that effort that is hard for you (like it is for me), then Hello Fresh might be a good option too. Despite their hype, some of the meals do include a fair amount of work, but everything you need just shows up with instructions.
I am a round little planet. I tried nutrisystem box and was hungry the whole time. 5 days was all I could stand and was ready to eat a whole Taco Bell menu on day 6… It was exercise after that which kept me losing weight (spinning around the sun just doesn’t cut it), and I didn’t have the energy to do anything those 5 days… Except dream of a real meal. Sorry for your loss.
I can sympathize with the not wanting to cook part of depression especially. Been battling this bullshit myself. It just seems like its too much effort and its so easy to give in to fast food or junk food and just not give a shit. Fell into that same trap myself.
I don’t wanna feel like a shill but I discovered a brand called “Eating Well” in the freezer section of my grocery store that might fit your needs. Apparently its a brand derived from a dieting magazine? The food is rather nice though, not many preservatives and it seems to be real actual food. Decent variety. Even has a little window in the box to see the food inside before you buy it. Doesn’t really give me that TV Dinner vibe either, so I feel less a bit guilty about eating it. I’ll put a picture of one down below, you can see if anything interests you on their website.
I actually have a few right now in my freezer for when I just can’t. Target around here sells them for I think around $3.69 so the price isn’t bad for what you get.
Edit: I forgot to add too, another super simple thing you can find if you aren’t even able to bring yourself to make a simple salad (which some days, I can’t either) you can find salad kits from Fresh Express in with the rest of the bagged salad. Comes with the dressing and some extras, I like apples and cheddar which has the salad mix, apple cider vinaigrette, diced apples, and pieces of cheddar cheese crumbles. Literally just open bags and toss in a bowl. Those on sale run 2/$6 around here.
Day 1 of 5 on nutrisystem.
It’s not even lunch time yet and I want to murder someone.
Yesterday I felt accomplished.
Today, not so much.
I’ve been thinking about meal prep and all the things I want to cook after these 5 days are up.
I’m hoping this gives me a jump start and I’ll actually want to cook after this so I can eat normal food again.
I signed up for 4 programs that are free at work.
3 are self guided programs to deal with depression, anxiety, sleep issues, etc.
The 4th is a coached program to help with eating healthier. I did it three years ago and lost 30 lbs. I’m surprised they let me sign up again. It’ll start in one or two weeks when they get a big enough group together. It’s a pain in the ass, but I’m hoping with a group and coaching behind me, it’ll help get me out of this slump.
@RiotDemon
/giphy come to the dark side
@RiotDemon
Gee, that’s my normal day.
Hey OP, if you don’t mind me asking, where do you live? Not street address, just state and/or city. I find that this sort of advice is location-dependent. For example, what I have to do for myself is very different than what I can recommend to a friend who lives in Ohio boonies.
For example, one of the best things you can do is have a fresh salad as often as possible, especially with stuff like broccoli, spinach, and/or kale. For me that involves stopping at Trader Joe’s after work to pick up a prepackaged one, but for others it’s a 50-minute drive to their only supermarket in the area.
By the way, I want to add that hunger is actually a depression-fighting mechanism. Putting your body into that state starts overriding routine feelings and impulses by making you focus (biologically and chemically) on securing sustenance. Just know that it’s not sustainable over the long term without extra physical activity, because your body will adjust by dropping it’s metabolic rate.
@ShotgunX Florida. Closest trader Joe’s is about 45 minutes away.
The problem isn’t that I don’t know how to eat healthy, it’s that all motivation is gone.
@RiotDemon That’s where tricking yourself comes into play. First of all, take all the effort out of the process by buying prepackaged foods that are healthy. Get salad kits, packs of cooked chicken/turkey breast, cheese, nuts, simple fruits that you only have to wash and nothing else, and other stuff like that. Literally just get stuff that you can open a package of and eat, and then forget about it.
Have some booze on hand, too. Make sure it’s not hard liquor though, because it can be pretty easy to spiral. But some session beers might just do the trick.
It doesn’t sound like you have issues with being hungry, so the act of eating itself is not a problem; just the meal prep. So until you’re back on your feet emotionally, take the shortcut. In this day and age, you can eat healthy without cooking at all. At some point, you’ll probably miss cooking, and will get back into it. Except by that point you’'ll be so used to leafy salads and such that you’ll probably keep making stuff out of the same ingredients.
Until then, use the time you save on cooking to do something you enjoy. Try not to rely on other people too much, at least if you’re part of one of the younger generations; the millennial “fuck you, got mine” entitlement attitude is real, and finding someone to be a true friend is rare. If you’re Gen X, it might not be so bad, but otherwise, try to find some solo activity you enjoy, while still keeping a public profile. Jog? Beat on a punching bag while yelling obscenities? Buy a bag of raw chickens and throw them to the gators at the Everglades? Generally, anything physical will do a better job of taking your mind off things than something mental, like reading books/watching TV. I won’t say something like “stop taking your meds,” but keep in mind that overprescription is a real thing, and those things are meant to fix chemical imbalances in the brain, and not the feeling of grief.
@carl669
@RiotDemon @ShotgunX Salad sucks. You don’t win friends with salad.
Demetri Martin on Salad:
@RiotDemon @ShotgunX
^^ Best advice ever. If you’re drowning, grabbing a life preserver isn’t a negative, or bad thing. It’s doing what you need to do to get to shore.
I am definitely down with the overall “how to survive when your brain tells you to sleep and feel shitty all of the time” battle plan @ShutgunX laid out.
There are prepped meal delivery options that are fresh/real food you can reheat and eat. I’m betting they beat the hell out of Nutrisystem. https://www.freshly.com/ is one. I haven’t tried them yet myself, but it looks better than fast food or skip-its.
If you’re having a less shitty day and depending on your grocery store, some of the more popular Meal-Kit services are selling their kits directly in store. It’s still cooking - but all of the planning/thinking and half the prep has been done for you.
You aren’t alone in having self-care / food being the first to go out the window when the depression goblin shows up. It’s hard. But it’s not as hard as your brain is trying to tell you it is. Sometimes, you just gotta move before your thoughts catch up. It can be enough to get the ball rolling.
@RiotDemon @ShotgunX
This part is bullshit:
Perhaps this isn’t the thread to debate generational values, though.
@carl669
@RiotDemon @Thumperchick I wish it were bullshit, but it’s pretty much clinical at this point: https://today.yougov.com/topics/lifestyle/articles-reports/2019/07/30/loneliness-friendship-new-friends-poll-survey
And it’s not just the quantity of friends, but quality as well. I don’t think I can even name anyone I know who would inconvenience themselves in a minor manner to help someone they know in a major one. I would talk more about this, but I think the purpose of this thread is to help fight depression, and not make people more depressed.
I’m not saying that the OP, or anyone else, shouldn’t socialize; just that you generally can’t rely on anyone else to act in your best interests, even if you’re willing to reciprocate in kind, at least if you’re part of the younger generations. It’s another hurdle, but you’ll have to find your own way.
I really do blame social media for this. This is why I don’t have a single social media account, anywhere. I would have offed myself a long time ago if I had to deal with Facebook/Instagram “grass is greener” fuckery on top of everything else.
@ShotgunX I think you (and this article) are full of shit. If you’ve got friends and they are real friends, they will help you the second you need it.
Proof positive, right now, I’m pretty ill and I can’t drive, can’t mow, can barely walk. My friends have offered to take me to the doctor, pharmacy, grocery shop, mow for me (neighbors are doing that as I write this), and take me to my favorite barbecue place (yum).
See – maybe if you try to be a friend, you will have a friend to give you a hand when you need it.
@Barney Not saying it’s statistically impossible, just improbable. It also probably correlates with location and age group. Maybe you are just very lucky?
Anyway, once again, I’m not saying that people shouldn’t socialize, or even ask for help. Just that people shouldn’t put too much stock into others’ willingness to be selfless in the age of tweets and selfies. Peoples’ ability to form deep, personal bonds has been diminishing in the last few decades, that is scientific fact.
One of the worst things you could do when depressed is make yourself super-vulnerable, only to hear someone say “this again? you’re being such a downer.” Depression is different from being physically sick. You might stay depressed/on meds for the rest of your life, and people don’t like the thought of dealing with that, unlike physical sickness, where they are willing to pitch in and help for a limited period of time, until you heal and get better (or die, and are no longer a burden).
But I’m not judging you guys for the hostile responses, because I understand that this stuff is really difficult to face head on, and no one likes thinking or talking about it.
I’m just trying to give the OP some personal advice that has worked for me throughout my life. It’s not about making anyone feel good, or bringing things back to the way they were before. It’s just about redirecting energy to make life a little more tolerable.
@Barney @ShotgunX Man, you are one mixed-up kid aren’t you?
@Barney @therealjrn I don’t know about you guys, but I find I get what I give. If I am kind I received kindness in return. I will also add that this forum has an amazing group of individuals who are always willing to support each other.
@ShotgunX I understand that you are trying to be educated by reading all these studies. Maybe it would be better to stick to personal experiences.
@ShotgunX
I’m not a millennial. But the millennials in my family don’t act as you describe at all.
We have an extended family of helpful and solid people. No doubt that has an influence on values and personify of everyone.
If you can’t connect to in a meaningful way to people your own age, perhaps you are choosing the wrong venues or portals to meet people. Solid friendships used to be formed thru work and school. People got to know each other’s families a little. That helped a lot. Now …
I think dedicated hobbies of certain types might still offer that. Esp exercise and sports, and time intensive hobbies such as gardening or reading (book groups). Hobbies and activities where people naturally give each other pointers and assistance are where I would start.
I do think it’s harder for younger people to make strong life friendships, than it was for persons who came of age in the past.
@therealjrn I don’t know why you’re making this about me again. I’m offering my input to the OP. It’s up to them whether or not to accept it. If they don’t, I won’t have any hard feelings about it. If you disagree with something I’m saying, you can just say that, and offer a different perspective. Chasing me around the place and trying to cast me in bad light makes you seem like the messed up one around here.
And this is exactly why I’m telling the OP to be wary about the intentions of others. A lot of the “advice” given by people is given for the sake of making them feel better and morally-superior to others, and not for the sake of the person who’s suffering.
@ShotgunX Oh hey man, you seem to be caught up in projecting your feelings and attributing them to me.
I hope the best for you and hope you get it all sorted out for your health…you’ll feel better.
@therealjrn What’s with the guppy-level bait? Did you discover Reddit two weeks ago, and are practicing here for your big debut? Everyone can see what you’re doing here. Leave me alone.
@Barney
I’m really sorry to hear. I hope things improve soon. I hope the med people are of some use to you.
@ShotgunX Feel better man, we’re all rooting for you.
@ShotgunX Reading this thread I think the intentions of the people here giving suggestions on this thread are exactly along the lines of trying to help. There are many kind and helpful people on this forum (and some asshats too, but I think for the most part the good folks outnumber the other ones).
It may be that some of the suggestion aren’t useful for whatever reason, but that is the nature of suggestions. The more options tossed out there the more likely the person needing help will be able to find one that fits.
@Kidsandliz I’m not arguing against anyone’s forum advice here. I’m only trying to warn the OP to not put too much hope into receiving emotional support from mere acquaintances. In my experience, such support is usually shallow and short-lived, and leaves you feeling worse after you realize how fleeting it is, and how uninvested those people are. And also, mental health issues are still stigmatized in our society, so people are less willing to be around you in general when you’re not “normal,” unlike if you’re physically sick, in which case they’re usually much more willing to help.
Now, it could very well be the case that the OP has some amazing, close friends. In that case, it’s by all means a great idea to do some wild shit with them. But realizing that some people you’ve had a quick brunch with forgot you exist after you went out the door can be very damaging while in a vulnerable emotional state. It would be better to do something you truly enjoy doing, solo, in that case.
Personally, for me, the answer is really simple: drink beer and play video games.
@Kidsandliz @ShotgunX
A good recipe for relaxation. Not so much, for the creation of solid friendships, tho.
@f00l @Kidsandliz Without going too much into specifics, I’d have to say that my personal experience has been a little different. But that’s another discussion, I think.
@Kidsandliz @ShotgunX
my experience w gaming is minimal.
Was talking thru my hat, so to speak.
/giphy talking through my hat
@RiotDemon and as @Thumperchick said, sometimes you just have to put one foot in front of the other even if you can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel; aren’t even sure that there is one… about all you can do then is take the easiest path you stumble across to do anything that you are finding requires effort… and eventually you will see glimpses of the blue sky and flowers that are still out there, that are at the other end.
Meanwhile realize that likely there is no short cut down this path you are traveling… the process of scabbing over grief and forming the scars takes time, lots of time. Eventually it does get better though. Eventually you can laugh again, find that you didn’t think about your agonizing pain for a brief period of time, find you can think about your mom for 45 minutes here and there without crying; that you can get so engrossed in something you didn’t even think about this aspect of your life at all for a brief moment of time… and eventually, little by little, life becomes easier, less painful, grief becomes less all encompassing… There is no easy path through all of this but eventually you do figure out how to pick up the pieces and put your life back together again in a way that you can cope. Meanwhile it can be agonizing. And that, unfortunately, is the path of grief.
So I gave up on the nutrisystem. I made it through lunchtime. Lunch was gross. It was one of the most miserable meals I’ve ever eaten. I powered through because I was so hungry from my puny breakfast and snack.
Let’s just say, it made me violently ill. I still don’t feel right. I’m not about to do that for 4 more days.
I left work early today so I think I’ll make some snacks for tomorrow.
@RiotDemon was it bad because of the taste/texture? Or just didn’t feel right? I never tried one, but I’ve seen them on shelves, and anything that is a “meal kit” that comes in a box and doesn’t need refrigeration seems like it must be some kind of mummified, ultra processed mush.
Prepackaged, processed foods that claim health benefits also tend to intentionally overload on stuff like inulin and maltitol, which causes gastrointestinal distress, and makes the uninformed think that it’s healthy because it seems like “things are working down there.”
Try some canned fish (in water or olive oil), an avocado (cut in half and eat with a spoon), and some fun cereal like Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Really simple and fun foods that take less than a minute to get ready and need very little cleanup.
@ShotgunX taste and texture. I checked the breakfast and snack options because they tasted funny to me. Maltitol. That made me instantly worried because xylitol and I do not get along.
As a diet food, I don’t understand it. The breakfasts are things like chocolate muffins and chocolatey protein bars. Snacks are chocolate pretzels, sweet snack bars, etc. It was more sweets than I would ever eat.
I’m just going to boil some eggs and throw them in my fridge.
@RiotDemon All those things probably have sweet connotations because the kits are trying to appeal to unhealthy eaters who eat a lot of that stuff to begin with. Kind of like…“see? this is just like the stuff you already eat every day, except healthy for you!”
Eggs are a great idea. Cut in half, add a sliver of cheese or some sauce, and you’re set. Also, plain old dark chocolate if your best friend. Caffeine as well.
I’m not sure if it will help at all, but Belvita has been my go to for the past year.
I understand how difficult meals can be and keeping these in my desk has helped me over all with not forgetting to eat. I highly recommend the coconut ones and the cinnamon ones. Target usually has coupons so you can find them cheap or buy them in bulk at Costco. It’s a small change, but it’s like having a safety net for the mornings/afternoons, they are always on hand just in case.
@riskybryzness those aren’t bad. For the last month or so my breakfast has been yogurt with fruit and some cereal. It’s easy and it keeps me from starving.
Lunch is whatever I find in the wild. Dinner is sometimes non-existent. I have been buying some frozen foods for when I actually get hungry.
@RiotDemon if you like yogurt, I highly recommend overnight oats as well. It’s a simple “dump and run” breakfast but it’s so tasty. I do a small layer of steel cut oats, cover it with soy, a generous helping of vanilla greek yogurt, throw a small amount of honey, fresh or frozen fruit and choco chips on top. Takes a few minutes each night but after my first one I made, it’s incredibly rewarding for some reason. It’s a meal that I ended up looking forward too, which was new.
Do you have a target close by? I found that their sandwiches and prepackaged salads aren’t horrible. You can do half salads or half sandwiches if you aren’t too hungry. I’m not sure of the cost there, but here I don’t think I’ve paid more than $4.99 for them.
Oh, Amys frozen meals are pretty good too, little bit more money but it’s worth it for their cheese lasagna. Perfect lunch size.
I tried stuff like hello fresh and I just couldn’t get myself to cook it all. It ended up going bad in the fridge. Freezer meals for dinner is probably my favorite go to. There is a vast selection, including options for vegetarians.
I had to push myself to do some bulk shopping for the week, but not having to think about that was a massive relief. It was there and waiting for me and that did the trick.
Just a couple small adjustments I made that helped me. I hope you can find some relief with the advice in this thread.
@RiotDemon oh and stok cold brew coffee with coconut creamer. Starbucks doesn’t have shit on that combo.
@riskybryzness I do like overnight oats. It’s been too hot at work (where I tend to eat breakfast 5 days a week) and I prefer my oats to be warmed up in the morning. That’s why I switched to the yogurt with cereal and fruit.
I’ve never really gotten food from Target. There is one not far from work. I don’t remember seeing a deli section though. So they just keep the prepackaged stuff in a fridge?
@RiotDemon The one that I go to has a small fridge section by the deli, it’s a larger Target so I’m not sure of other locations. Might be worth taking a look!
@RiotDemon @riskybryzness I love those Belvitas, especially the blueberry ones. They’re great for emergency breakfasts.
@riskybryzness After all their years of advertising, I finally tried using Belvita to make homemade nachos.
I bought a pack and a can of RoTel.
It was very chunky and crunchy, even before I put it on chips, but I’d try it again.
@Limewater @riskybryzness We use Velveeta with salsa for chips. Belvita would be interesting, especially the ones with chocolate chips. Next time I get drunk I’ll give it a try.
I ended up downloading MyFitnessPal a few days ago. At least it’ll help me keep on track and remind me why eating out constantly is terrible.
I found the madewell frozen meals at my one grocery store but they were all loaded with red peppers. Unfortunately that’s one food I can’t deal with. I hate that so many low calorie meals are full of them. I bought a few of the steam bowl meals to bring for lunch this week.
My work’s health program starts this Sunday.
I’m feeling motivated.
Thanks to everyone that has made comments.
@RiotDemon
Why no red peppers?
Dislike taste/texture? Allergy? Something else?
@f00l the taste overwhelms everything. They also tend to give me the burps. The only time I ever eat them is if they are included in a build your own fajita. They taste much better when cooked that way versus in a frozen meal. Plus I can moderate how much I use.
Glad to hear you are feeling (some) better…
Keep plugging away at it.
I like to make my own snack mixes. I pick out the nuts and dried fruit I like in the bulk food section. Sometimes I add pretzels or chocolate chips - whatever sounds good. I make several pounds at a time so it is easy to grab a handful and go. It is filling and depending on what I actually mix in, pretty healthy compared to the potato chips I would grab instead when I get the munchies.
I sounds like you are working in the right direction. I will send my good wishes down your way.