it’ll still be stationary.
Let’s hear some crappy dadjokes!
Every time I put the car in reverse: “Ah, this takes me back.”
My kid hates it.
@ExtraMedium You need to find something else to say as a backup plan.
@ExtraMedium reminds me of an old Jeff Ross Poem that was on a comedy central commercial forever ago… and i can’t find the video anymore…
I miss her sometimes -
I ran into my ex-girlfriend the other day…
then I put it in reverse and ran into her again…
I miss her sometimes…
What did the old pirate say when he turned 80? “Aye, Matey!”
I remember a time when I was nostalgic
@Koolhandjoe Hi Nostalgic, I’m @Wifeduck.
Lance is an uncommon name nowadays.
But in medieval times people were named Lance a lot.
2 wrongs don’t make a right … but 3 lefts do!
@chienfou 2 wrongs don’t make a right, but two Wrights did make a plane. (better said aloud then written)
better said aloud then written
better said aloud then written
Does the second time make it funnier?
@chienfou @ExtraMedium The first one was better
@chienfou @ybmuG I’m batting 1000. I give up.
@chienfou @ExtraMedium that’s what we’re here for. The Meh community - here for YOU
It’s a real support community
some of us are here doing community service sentences… (don’t ask…)
ICYDK there is a way to pick the giphy and make it ‘stick’ even if you edit the post…
@chienfou The error was typing gihpy so it was user error, not a bad gif.
oh… duhhh… guess I should have read more closely!
@chienfou @ExtraMedium that’s OK…
/image here’s your sign
hey. You know you got a flat tire?
Nope… the other 3 just swelled up on their own… here’s your sign…
@chienfou @ExtraMedium @ybmuG Here’s your sign.
… or not…
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
What is a pirate’s favorite letter?
-You’d think it’d be R but 'tis the C they love. (They’re also fond of P, cause without it they’d just be irate)
What did the fish say when it ran into the wall?
How do you get down off a horse?
-You don’t. You get down off a duck.
A pirate’s favorite vowel is “i”.
(The letter between “h” and “j” if the font sucks on your device.)
You’re going to have to start paying union dues on your nose.
Because you should be part of a union if you’re going to pick it in public
@ApplePI The great Wavy Gravy once said “What do you do when your nose goes on strike: pick it!”…more of a grand dad joke.
You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can’t pick your freind’s nose.
@mbersiam RIP, Gary.
Crabs can be found in the same place in real life and in the encyclopedia:
Under the sea ( C )
The world needs more lerts.
@shahnm I have always like that one, but have been disappointed in the rarity of people who ‘get it’ when I have said it. (Or, maybe they just didn’t like it, now that I think about it…)
@chienfou @shahnm I used to have a button that read " Be Alert.
This Country needs more lerts"
I’d wear that!
@chienfou @ELJAY @shahnm
Do you also keep one of these handy?
@chienfou @ELJAY @Kyeh I’ve been meaning to get one of those for years, but I never quite… did.
yep… now’s the time to get a round tuit!
Because honeydo is in season now rhat Spring has sprung.
@chienfou @ELJAY @Kyeh @shahnm
The story of my life:
@chienfou @ELJAY @Kyeh @macromeh Well, I guess the Tuit horse has been beaten to death just about as much as possible at this point…
@ELJAY @Kyeh @macromeh @shahnm
yeah, I think we’ve all seen tuit.
@chienfou @ELJAY @Kyeh @macromeh @shahnm
Yes, to wit, the puns are dunned.
@chienfou @ELJAY @Kyeh @macromeh @mike808 Yes. Everyone should be congratulated on their contributions tuit.
When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.
The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.
The batteries were given out free of charge.
A dentist and a manicurist married.
They fought tooth and nail.
A will is a dead giveaway.
If you don’t pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.
With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress
You know, your joke doesn’t work in written form because there are two different words: stationary and stationery.
-Stationary - not moving
-Stationery - writing paper and envelopes.
When saying the joke verbally, the word has a double meaning because spelling doesn’t count and is funny. Written, it has one meaning and is not funny.
/giphy thanks captain obvious
Before performing a controlled burn, firefighters Google it and get a bunch of matches.
Some good ol’ boys were sittin’ around outside a country store, when a sod truck went by.
One of 'em said, “When I a win the lottery, that’s whut I’m a gonna git.”
'Nother one of 'em said, “You a gonna buy a truck full a sod?”
“Naw,” said the first one, “I’m a gonna send my grass out ta git cut.”