No brain while tweeting? Need non-political examples.
7This thread had rules
No politics
No mentions of or quoted tweets from the incumbent President of the United States
We already have a thread for that
PlacidPenguin said 9 hours ago:
Heeheehee…
Canadian tennis player Genie Bouchard agreed to go on a date with a guy if the team with those guys who were losing against the team with those other guys in the thingy last night were to end up winning.
Brilliant find, @PlacidPenguin
At least she intends to pay up.
She seems kinda nice, but I don’t know anything about her.
So who else (non-political) uses twitter to shoot themselves in the foot, or elsewhere?
Examples should be funny or good-humored or extra-dumb.
Anyone got some?
(@PlacidPenguin, sorry about stealing your work, but at least I credited you.)
- 13 comments, 35 replies
- Comment
No foot shooting, but back in 2013, some guy named @snapster tweeted “did my woot friends ever bring back American apparel shirts or are they still the suckage wide collar ones?”
@narfcake
I heard that that @snapster person is a wimp.
@PlacidPenguin
Can @snapster really be a wimp?
Should we send him some spinach?
/giphy popeye
@f00l
/youtube family guy peter dives into gold
@mfladd
Uh, she’s better in a musical setting?
@mfladd Damn autocorrect…
@compunaut Auto co wreck.
@mfladd
Working toward his Darwin Award. Someday
Not from twitter
A few years back there was an nighttime armed robbery at a semi-rural convenience store somewhere in the Deep South.
The clerk managed to punch the alarm and the cops showed up quickly. The cops were screaming into the parking lot, and our model criminals didn’t try for their car, but hightailed into the forest on the outskirts of the parking lot. Kinda piney woods terrain.
Both the criminals were wearing those kinda running shoes that light up every time you take a step.
@mfladd
There are times thatI don’t feel bad for stupidity.@mfladd I bet they all taste the same…
@cinoclav @mfladd
That took longer than it should have.
@mfladd well she has fluff for a brain
Oh, this one is just sad
@mfladd I’m sad that whoever she went to didn’t explain what the test results meant or about the treatment options.
@RiotDemon I agree. The tweet got worse when you see the full version. She said that she was suppose to call her doctor back. He was going to congratulate her, she said
@mfladd
Reddit discussion.
@PlacidPenguin
If that’s real, that hurts a bit to read.
@f00l @PlacidPenguin @Mfladd
Reading the reddit discussion it sounds like it’s a joke. The account was run by a comedian. I can only hope.
@RiotDemon
Hoped it was a joke. But that’s a hell of a joke.
Later, she tweeted that she had to get a new card because someone was using it illegally.
@mfladd
Again;
No pity for stupidity. Nobody can afford that.
@mfladd I really hope the credit card company made her pay for the purchases. She basically gave everyone permission to use it.
@mfladd That’s a Chase debit card, and for an account with a small balance. That image is pretty old, though (since it expired in 3/17).
http://www.stevemorse.org/ssn/List_of_Bank_Identification_Numbers.html#Visa_.2840.2A.2A.2A.2A.29
@Shrdlu
Knew it was Chase.
Small balance?
They have various accounts. That looks like ordinary consumer checking. But small ones can get bigger can’t they?
Or perhaps not so likely in this case.
Not a bad tweet, just a funny one.
@mfladd
All too true for many of us.
@f00l
@mfladd
Use Your Allusion.
I love where the girl says “nothing” at the end.
@mfladd to be fair… Certain parts of Florida don’t feel like the US anymore.
But go figure, another idiot moving to Florida.
@mfladd
If only leaving the US were that easy and that pleasant.
Perhaps when she gets to the foreign part of Florida, someone will introduce her to sensible Florida survival techniques.
BTW does the foreign part of Florida fall under the travel ban?
Welcome to the magical world of sports reporters, Bob Ryan and Peter Gammons.
Peter Gammons:
Bob Ryan:
@elimanningface
Stripped down sports eloquence in action. They put Dan Jenkins and the classic SI reporters to shame.
All the other writers should just give up and quit trying.
Perhaps just I’ll watch these two from the catbird seat.
(Thx, Red Barber)
@elimanningface haha, looks like the first person was tweeting from his pocket.
@RiotDemon I’ve heard it said that some men do all their thinking with their pecker. Apparently some sports reporters do all their tweeting that way.
@f00l
Please, at least one person reading this thread, tell me you know who Red Barber and Dan Jenkins are
It’s cool if only a few or just one know. It’s cool if most don’t care. But someone ought to know.
Let’s just say neither of them would tweet the above.
@f00l I know who they both are. I used to read a lot of high-quality sports journalism.
Now it’s pretty much an oxymoron.
@compunaut
Thought you might know.
Met Dan Jenkins a few years back when I blundered into a book signing. I’d met him before. He’s “around”, tho my family were neither Horned Frogs nor golfers. (We “acquired” a Horned Frog about 3 years ago.)
Jenkins may be still writing. This was 2014:
His Ownself: A Semi-Memoir
https://www.amazon.com/His-Ownself-Semi-Memoir-Dan-Jenkins/dp/0385532253
Red Barber was a delight on Morning Edition.
Rhubarb in the Catbird Seat
1968
by Red Barber (Author), Robert W. Creamer (Author), & 1 more
https://www.amazon.com/Rhubarb-Catbird-Seat-Red-Barber/dp/0803261365/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1486668283&sr=1-1&keywords=Red+barber
Catbird Seat
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Catbird_seat
@f00l Not a golfer; never had any golfers in our large extended family. [Strangely, my parents took up the game in their retirement & are now hard-core enthusiasts
]
Jenkins used to write on a wide variety of sports topics. As he settled more & more on golf, I read him less & less.
/image hard core golf
@compunaut
In spite of not being any kinds of golfer and not attending TCU, my various family members share much common ground w Dan Jenkins. As do I.
The FW history in Semi-Tough is very familiar. As are many of the landmarks. Priscilla Davis (by another name) shows up in one of the novels.
And decades later I still remember some of his phrases word for word.
Too bad they sorta fucked up the Semi-Tough film a bit.