MEHcus answers would you rather questions

@conandlibrarian Congrats! What are you getting?

@conandlibrarian 30 is the new 20 or something like that.

A few things here.

1. I don’t really want a car per se, I want a truck.
2. Any car can be fast if you put the right engine in it and beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
3. Cars are becoming safer and safer every day with all of the new technology.

So with all that said, it’s fairly easy to get the best of both worlds. So I choose a boring, safe truck that I think is beautiful and I can throw a new engine in it if I suddenly get the desire to go all Ricky Bobby.

Next question.

@ACraigL I decided on the Prius C. This model I think looks better than the others, and the MPG is amazing. I am still keeping my awesome Ranger. I do not think I could ever live without a truck.

@conandlibrarian what color are you going to get?

@conandlibrarian A very responsible choice. Any bells and whistles?

@conandlibrarian @Moose If you could only choose one, would you choose bells, or whistles?

@lichme Whistles seem more practical

@lichme @moose bells are way more fun though.

@hollboll Black. Will be getting a nice tint on it tomorrow, and purchasing black wheels. Here in California, there is a new “throwback” license plate that is black. I will be getting that as well

@conandlibrarian oh cool! Left just before they came out. I still have my old California license plates up on my wall in my office at home.

@Moose It has a ton of bells and whistles. It is used (2015) and the previous owner kind of bought everything. Whoever the guy was took really good care of it, he only put 5,000 miles on it.

@conandlibrarian that’s legit! @dalek got a dealer loaner a few years ago, so it was “used” and had a bunch of upgrades. Only had 3k on it when we bought it.

@hollboll Baloney, bells just jingle jangle all the time. Whistles would be the best way to announce your arrival.

@hollboll There are a ton of cool plates to choose from, but going with the black because I want the whole car black.
I like Texas’ plates, but kind of hate that you have to put the registration sticker in the window.

@conandlibrarian we lucked out when we got here and I got the plate I wanted (white with black text). I don’t mind the sticker so much, I put it on the very bottom left of my window and don’t pay it any attention. I used to have beach passes and college parking stickers there before, so that registration just took the place of the other stickers.

@Moose
/giphy whistles are awful

@hollboll @Moose

@hollboll Whistling is awful and those who do so should be put in jail, but whistles themselves are fine. Trains have both, but no one rings the bell and says “I’ve always wanted to do that.”

@Moose for once, we agree my friend.

@Moose there is a train museum near my house that has a 2 ft diameter bell from a stream engine in the middle of the floor. They keep a guard there so that kids (of all ages) aren’t ringing it continually

@ACraigL I don’t know who Jenny Finklestein is but I have to imagine that if you are asking me to spend 7 minutes in a closet with her she is either a known murderer of some sort or practices which craft. That and my wife would kill me if I choose to go in a closet for any amount of time with any woman.

So I’ll choose to rake in the dough working for a company that sells just one thing a day and hope to find some closet time with the misses.

@ACraigL

Why would any website sell 1 deal a day though?
Are you hinting that unless Meh starts to sell an item daily then people should leave?

@ACraigL @MEHcus A quick search finds this. All I can say is - to hell with the one thing a day. I’m going to have the best 7 minutes of my life (and the best 3 minutes of hers.)

@cinoclav No, he said Jenny Finklestein. That is Jenny Finkelstein.

@MEHcus

/image laces out!

@MEHcus Obviously just a misspelling on his part.

@lichme Pssh this one is super easy.

Give me the worst service ever. Because when you get the worst service ever you also often get a discounted bill at the end of the meal. And I don’t mean that in the sense that I would complain either. Simply put, if it is the ‘worst service ever’ then that means food was probably put in wrong and had to be sent back. And when food has to be sent back, management typically gets involved. Therefore, worst service ever will often mean more money in my pocket than expected at the end of each meal.

@MEHcus You’d think you’d get a discounted bill, however, customer service is still service, which you aren’t getting. No discount for you.

@lichme Didn’t say that in your question. To me, service implies only the service from the waitstaff. Therefore a loophole was created. Sorry Charlie.

@MEHcus Well then, what is your definition of “worst service ever”. Is it getting the wrong order and sending it back, or is it being given a food you are allergic to, going into anaphylactic shock, and not pulling through?

Now you get no discount. Loophole, I win.

Note: Hypothetical, I do not wish for you to do this.

@lichme You would win if I was allergic to any foods. I am not. Loophole closed, I win.

@MEHcus Then the wait staff, while bringing you your meal, accidentally trips and stabs you in the eye with a fork. In panic mode, they yank it out, taking your eyeball with them. You fall over, hitting your head on the table, causing you to bleed out. Worst… service… ever. No discount, you lose. Your family sues, and wins, but the restaurant goes out of business and has no assets, and very little insurance coverage.

@lichme Easy solution, I’d wear goggles and a helmet to eat every time I went out to ensure my safety.

@MEHcus I’ll be sure to do that. You, however, didn’t, and now you’re dead.

Take that, Mr. proper English.

@lichme I don’t know what you’re talking about.

@MEHcus

I prefer the truth in life, no matter how harsh that truth

Hahahaha. We both know what happened. I’ll take the moral victory.

@carl669 Give me one size too small. Here’s why: I have giant feet and wear a size 15 shoe. You know what is ridiculously hard to find? Size 15 shoes. Not that size 14 is much easier, but it is easier. On top of that, different makes and models of shoes are cut differently, therefore I could easily find a company that tends to make their 14’s just a bit bigger than other companies 14’s and continue to buy those moving forward thus lessening any discomfort.

@MEHcus damn you and you rationalizations.

@DaveInSoCal Give me 100 duck-sized horses. See the question above for some of the reasoning. The way I see it is that I can kick away/pick up and throw 100 duck-sized horses.

But one horse-sized duck is also going to have a horse-sized duck bill and horse-sized feet. One chomp from the bill or one kick from the feet could prove disastrous. And while I could stand the chance of being over run by a force of 100 duck-sized horses, I simply like my odds better.

@rockblossom Well in my world a nook and a cranny are pretty much the same thing. So give me the nooks, nobody wants to go nookless.

@MEHcus
/image barnes and noble nook

@FruityFraug According to the internet:
Amethyst is a violet variety of quartz often used in jewelry. The name comes from the Ancient Greek ἀ a- (“not”) and μέθυστος méthystos (“intoxicated”), a reference to the belief that the stone protected its owner from drunkenness.

I do enjoy booze from time to time. So to be protected from being drunk would be great. Then I could simply get a nice buzz but never be too intoxicated to function.

@asgriffin This one isn’t really a would you rather. I already do the first part of this on a daily basis and continue to get to enjoy the deliciousness of Kraft singles on my sammies.

@MEHcus now I remember why I don’t like playing this game with you

@asgriffin BECAUSE I’M THE BEST AT THIS GAME OF ALL TIME.

@chacham You know he I’m talking to. You know him I’m talking to.

I’d much rather speak proper English and have ignorant people laugh at me because then I’d be able to laugh back at them and/or have an opportunity to properly educate them so as to make them no longer ignorant.

@MEHcus

We’d laugh at you regardless.

@MEHcus Great. Now go fix your original post.

@Kevin Unless he’s a Republican running for office, noone would care what his search history was.

@chacham They might, if his web history included lots of searches for nude photos of his mom.

@rockblossom

Does anyone actually read the NYT anyway? Their stupid paywall has prevented me from reading their trash for years.

/giphy noone reads the new york times

@Kevin Always protect mom.

I can easily monitor my search history by ensuring that I only search for things in private mode or by simply deleting my search history after each search. With that said, my search history would be pretty boring. 95% of it is looking up sports stuff, the other 5% consisting of looking up words I don’t know the definition to, recipes, or random facts to back up a point I’m making in a conversation.

@MEHcus I don’t like this answer

@asgriffin So you’d rather have a naked picture or my mother swimming around the internet?

@chacham I’d love to visit space. But swinging from a star would be rather hot and I feel like there is a good chance I wouldn’t survive the whole ordeal. I believe I already encompass your out of this world choice. So just for funsies I’ll go with being a monkey. Flinging poo at people just seems fun.

@MEHcus You’re so funny.

/youtube would you rather swing on a star

/youtube out of this world tv show theme song

@medz Fighting a child needs not more than one man’s strength. But 5 men?! That’d kill him. Unless your pro Harambe or something weird like that.

@chacham Fighting a child, no matter said level of strength, would have dire consequences in the end. And since I’d rather not end up in jail for being labeled as a child abuser, I’ll take on the 5 men with the strength of a child.

@MEHcus Keep in mind the men will still weigh the same as a full grown man. Even if they’re weaklings, you’re still going to have to deal with 5 times your weight. A strong child, however, wouldn’t have the same leverage nor mass of a full grown man. You could probably also out-run the child since he or she wouldn’t have the speed of a man. Choosing not to just out-run the child? Bold move.

@medz Not to be all braggy, but I’m willing to bet I can out run the men if it came down to it.

Also, to me a fight doesn’t consist of running away. So in the case you presented I’d be forced to stand and fight. Though I may ultimately lose a fight against 5 full grown men with childlike strength, at least I won’t be sent to prison for it.

@MEHcus what if I told you nobody would ever find out?

@medz Someone always finds out.

@darksaber99999 I prefer crunchy peanut butter so the surface isn’t always smooth when I take the lid off as is. So I’d much rather be able to instantly remove the seal.

@Bingo I’ll go with drugs here and I’ve never done a drug in my life, with the obvious caveat of prescriptions not counting. But assuming I’m going to die, which we all are, and not knowing what the reasoning for said death will be, I’d rather be laying on a pile of drugs so that I can use them to put myself in a happy place just in case that death happens to be a slow and painful one.

@Bingo This is the most interesting one of the bunch thus far.

As a guy that fully admits to not understanding a damn thing that goes through the mind of many women, I think it would be very interesting to get to experience that. But that might get old real quick after the novelty wears off. Then again, it could have it’s advantages and might end up making you some money along the way.

As for the baby thing. Well you can easily simply avoid eating muffins your entire life to ensure you never mistakenly kill a baby or simply ask someone “hey, am I looking at a baby or a muffin here?” before you eat one if you’ve just got a hankering for a muffin. But, I’d also want to be able to see the faces of my own children. And I would be able to once they grew old which would also afford me the opportunity to definitively answer the age old question of “when is a baby no longer a baby?”

So with all that said I’m going to go with option A. The simple truth is I’d want to be able to see and hold my own kids as babies. And I’m certain that I could turn the man/woman fiasco in to a rather profitable experience for myself and my family. Would just get a little weird during allergy season.

@MEHcus Would also get a little weird during muffin/baby making season.

@cinoclav I’m not allergic to that.

@MEHcus Hey, if you’re wife is good with your alternate persona when sneezing I’d start pestering her about a 3 way…

@chacham Red pill all day. I prefer the truth in life, no matter how harsh that truth is. And while it’s great to have this wonderful little story being fed to you, I can’t help but think I’d still have the reality of the matrix buried deep within my mind and would constantly feel like I knew more than I did.

@medz I can field this one in a @MEHcus style hack. I wouldn’t cut my hair for 5 years, I’d have a barber do it. Loophole, win!

@lichme
/giphy shaking fist

@medz While I appreciate the loophole @lichme, I don’t need that particular one on this. You see, I’ve kept a buzz cut since about 2007 or 2008 and it works quite nicely for me. With said buzz cut, I end up cutting my own hair about once every 2 weeks. And while it might become pretty annoying to to do so, I think it would quickly become just a part of my routine daily.

Also, if I was in a hurry or feeling lazy that day, I could simply take a pair of scissors and cut off one or two hairs. After all, you never said it had to be a full hair cut.

@narfcake I’m already pretty cutesy on my own. Give me the pop-culture life.

@harrison Based solely on my responses to this thread my preferred answer is apparently the second option. Therefore I’ll go with the first option.

@MEHcus Huh, weird that you’d say first option when your preference is the second option.

@sohmageek I would give mehcus my tea any day. But I hear he has someone to share tea with already

@sohmageek Well here is the thing, tea takes on many forms. Some people enjoy the taste and touch of tea, while others only enjoy the visualization of tea. And since you never defined what type of tea we were talking about, loophole. Because my wife is part of the collective Meh, I could easily enjoy tea with her while also engaging the rest of meh in a more visual appreciation of tea type of manner one time. After that my obligation would be fulfilled, her and I would be free to take our tea wherever we wanted in whatever form we wanted.

@medz While neither option is particularly fantastic simply from the standpoint of being able to interact with others, I think being invisible to everyone else would afford more opportunities in the end. When you wanted to be noticed, you could simply put some clothes on or move objects around to ensure people knew you were there. This might be strange at first but news would eventually get out that there was an invisible man living amongst everyone. But when you didn’t want to be noticed, you could disappear to anywhere in the world and never have to pay for the plane/train/boat ticket. You could experience things that others can never dream of and do it all without spending a dime.

If everyone else in the world was invisible to you, you’d look like a misfit because you’d constantly have to wear heat sensing goggles just to ensure you weren’t running in to people at all times. And being able to hear all these voices without ever being able to see anyone would be maddening.

@MEHcus I should have specified anything you touch/hold/wear would also become invisible. (same for if others were invisible)
You’re right, though. After a few years folks wouldn’t think it was too strange to have an invisible person talking to them. It would also be more fun to be invisible from creepin’ and stealin’ standpoints.

@medz Always specify when playing ‘would you rather’ otherwise it’s left up to interpretation. I like to interpret loopholes.

@MEHcus i assume your eyes still work if everyone is invisible to you, but you can still see buildings and trees and shit. so there is some magic preventing you from seeing people specifically. either that magic would prevent you from seeing them with heat-sensing goggles (which actually sense infrared light), or that magic is easily fooled by lenses, in which case you should be able to see everyone if you wear contacts

@MEHcus either way it may make romantic encounters difficult

@dashcloud alternate question: would you rather have face blindess or capgras delusion?

@Moose @dashcloud

Would getting treatment be allowed?

@FruityFraug nah

@Moose

Yikes.

I don’t mean to sound insensitive to people suffering from either condition, but face blindness would probably be preferable of the two.

While not recognizing a loved one is sad, being constantly paranoid about someone is even worse.

Depending on the level of paranoia, some physical harm could possibly come about as a result.

However, by not recognizing someone, a person can still lead a somewhat peaceful life.

It also comes down to which has a bigger impact on other people. For instance, if someone has face blindness, it’s kind of obvious for a loved one to tell (I’d imagine), so while it hurts, over time there’s room to get used to it. However, if someone is paranoid about the people around them, like I said, physical harm can come as a result at any time, so it would be harder to adjust.

@Moose Fascinating question Moose.
With no treatment, probably face blindness.

@Moose How about you?

@dashcloud i think these are a subset of ALZ, so would you rather have ALZ or something worse?

@dashcloud I often struggle with hearing people properly as is, certainly not to the extent in which you’re implying here though. But, since I already have some remote experience with one of the two options, I’ll go with the constantly mishearing what people say. At least with that you can either ask people to repeat what they’ve said or write down what they’ve said for clarification. And if it was really bad, you could simply learn sign language and immerse yourself in that world so as to not have to rely on your ability to properly hear things at all times. There would still be many, many occasions in which sign language wouldn’t help, but it would at least give some reprieve.

Not being able to recognize people would be terrible for everyone involved. And outside of having everyone wear name tags I can’t think of a real work around for it. But even then people could change name tags around to mess with you, forget to wear a tag, or have multiple people with the same name wearing a tag to further the confusion.

@Moose @FruityFraug Now what if you have both… maybe they cancel each other out. “You’ve been replaced with an imposter! But uh, I don’t really know who you are so I guess it doesn’t matter.”

@dashcloud Huge oversimplification but I would rather recognize a person and not their face over recognizing the face but not the person.

@sohmageek wow that one’s tough. being a witness sounds more interesting, but what if the opposing lawyer makes you cry!