Mediocre Hunger Games Finale: All Dogs Go To Heaven
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Day 1
Day 2
Day 3
Day 4
Day 5
The Finale
This is all powered by BrantSteele’s Hunger Games simulator. It simulates a Hunger Games experience, all it needs is a cast of characters, which the meh community has generously provided. I will be going through and posting updates on how everyone fairs throughout the coming days, so stay tuned and give us your commentary!
The citizens of Mediocre have chosen their champions, and I am pleased to announce the start of the Mediocre Hunger Games!
Our champions:
| Spuds MacKenzie | Mr. Peanut |
| One Punch Man | Pinky |
| Taz | Kool-Aid Man |
| Mr. McFeely | Neo |
| Pickle Rick | Ron Burgundy |
| Jake from State Farm | Alf Bart Simpson |
| Teller | Powdered Toast Man |
| Macho Man Randy Savage | Tom Servo |
| Cheetara | Leisure Suit Larry |
| The Noid | Barney the Dinosaur |
| Ton Loc | Davy Crockett |
| Balto | Meredith Grey |
- 73 comments, 111 replies
- Comment
The horns sound!
The champions mostly run, though some find equipment and some walk away with broken noses.
And then the first day begins…
Wow, these games sure are… deadly… Any guesses on why everyone hated Cheetara or why Leisure Suit Larry couldn’t hack it?
At the end of Day 1, we have 4 deaths.
Didn’t read any of the Hunger Games books, and over the years, I saw a little bit of the movies.
With that in mind, this definitely beats the Hunger Games series.
Poor Jake never stood a chance though.
@PlacidPenguin same, mostly. I can’t read but I eventually watched the movies. Those who have died already aren’t terribly surprising; Cheetara is a bit but it did take a mob to get her. My assumption is Larry saw that and didn’t see any purpose to continue but I dunno
My money is on Tom Servo. Breaking noses and murdering out of the gate.
Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
Anybody who saw this post (the main one, not this comment) and didn’t star it is a jerk. This is awesome.
As usual, I am so lost because I haven’t been paying attention. At least it’s Barney the Dinosaur that’s gonna get the ax and not me. Whew!
@Barney
I have enough trouble keeping track of myself. Pass on this…
@Barney @jst1ofknd pretty simple: A bunch of pop culture characters have been put in a field to kill each other for our entertainment. Place your bets and enjoy the narrative that unfolds!
@Moose Well, in that case,
Go, Barney, you purple coward! You can outrun anybody!
Give me a B - A - R - N - E - Y. What’s it spell?
WINNER!
@Barney I’ll bet on Barney the Dinosaur. Because purple.
@Barney The cornucopia is a central place full of weapons and food and stuff. Barney may have to sneak back and get a gun or something.
@sammydog01 Barney with a gun? He’d shoot himself in the foot.
@Barney @Moose
What is the currency of these bets? I only bet bottle caps or plastic gold coins.
Forgive me if this is already answered, this branch is the only part of this thread I am going to pay any attention to.
@Barney @sammydog01 barney’s special power should be singing the i love you song so often others commit suicide to get away
@Barney @CaptAmehrican @sammydog01 @narfcake
I like the anvil song.
@Barney @jst1ofknd @Moose are we seriously placing bets somewhere? I’m not sure how.
@moonhat nah just cheer on your favorites
Omfg, if Neo doesn’t win, what is my life?
@RiotDemon I don’t even know what a Neo is. Geez, I’m so out of it.
@Barney Keanu’s character in the matrix. He might as well be god.
@Barney @RiotDemon plus, Keanu Reeves is a hottie. IMO.
/giphy hot keanu
@moonhat
/image sexy keanu
@medz yum.
Leisure Suit Larry was a lover, not a fighter.
@mossygreen Meh. He was a skeeze and had it coming.
@mossygreen Larry offed himself because he’s a Sierra adventure game character, and therefore contractually obligated to die at least once every time he tries something new.
@Limewater @mossygreen I wonder if he gets to regenerate down the line…?
You better run Kool-Aid Man
@Ignorant Hey Koolaid!!!
@Ignorant what the hell is a powdered toast man, anyway? What is powdered toast? Is that like cinnamon sugar toast? Mm, that sounds good
@Ignorant @moonhat
/youtube powdered toast man
@moonhat from http://renandstimpy.wikia.com/wiki/Powdered_Toastman
“Powdered Toastman is a superhero seen in “Powdered Toast Man”. He is an extremely dramatic and oblivious vigilante and spokesperson for Powdered Toast, the breakfast treat that “tastes just like sawdust”. He was based on a Frank Zappa inspired character. Powdered Toast Man appeared in various Powdered Toast commercials within The Ren & Stimpy Show, and starred in two episodes of the show, “Powdered Toast Man vs. Waffle Woman” and “Powdered Toast Man” (which had a guest appearance by Frank Zappa as the Pope). Oddly, Powdered Toast doesn’t taste right unless Powdered Toast Man farts on it before it is consumed.”
@Ignorant ah ok. Fun!
@Ignorant @moonhat I don’t even know who Pickle Rick is.
@Ignorant @sammydog01 me neither
@moonhat @sammydog01 it’s Rick but he’s a pickle.
@moonhat @sammydog01
(It’s from Rick and Morty)
@Ignorant @moonhat @sammydog01
Poor Teller. Ironic that he’d be killed by a lack of manual dexterity.
District 9 didn’t last long.
@therealjrn 1 hour 53 minute run time, seems about right.
/8ball Will saying “narf” all the time help Pinky?
Better not tell you now
Well, this could prove to be interesting to watch. Some interesting characters here. I’ll vote for The Noid. Just cause I can. Hell probably die soon. But yeah. Let’s see how he fares
Tom Servo!
My hearts with Belto. He’s always underestimated plus he’s from District 12. Who wouldn’t run away from a phallic green thing chasing you?
I just found this thread this morning and I am wayyyy too excited about it.
Nice job @Nuurgle - I was thinking that Neil Blomkamp thought it was just right…
And @PlacidPenguin THANK YOU for including “And Larry” - definitely made me smile. The other thread was closed so I couldn’t comment there.
Leisure Suit Larry has always battled a deep-seated and severe depression underneath his veneer of secular interests and womanizing.
With Cheetara dead, he could not justify the charade any longer, and in turn, his life.
C’mon One Punch Man! Don’t let me down!
/giphy One Punch Man
I think despite his injury Alf Simpson is gonna survive. He’ll survive on wit and cats.
@carl669 PICKLE RICKKK YOU MO’FO’S!
@carl669 @therealjrn pickle rick will die from something environmental in the next round. you’ll see.
@carl669 @medz My nominated horse in this race is Mr. Peanut. Lame.
So when that fucker Carl nominated PICKLE RICK I had to switch up my allegiances. Besides, Mr. Peanut represents District 1, and you know what douchebags those guys are.
@therealjrn you are wise and your wiseliness will be rewarded.
I suppose I have to bet on Mr Mcfeely even though I am not a fan.
I will start fidget spinners 2 fidget spinners.
speediedelivery should proofread. Lets try again.
I am betting 2 fidget spinners on McFeely for the win.
@speediedelivery I raise you 3 fidget spinners on Ron Burgundy.
@sammydog01 Not so sure it is a good bet but I will match you at 3 light up spinners.
Destroying supplies, really? At least Mcfeely is working in a group now.
Ron Burgundy is too aggressive. He won’t last long.
Gooo Meredith!!
/giphy Meredith Grey power
Teller, Those silent types are sneaky af
@Irkalla he ded
@Irkalla I hope you didn’t bet big on that.
As night falls, champions get tired, and then they get careless… almost as careless as I was when I accidentally set Pickle Rick and Ron Burgundy as Female when I set up the game and it won’t let me fix it now oh well moving on!
I wonder what kind of trap he used. A mouse trap, probably.
Day 2
Brutal move from Burgundy.
@Moose Nice job Ron Burgundy. You go, girl.
Aw, Barney, I’m gonna cry myself to sleep tonight.
@Moose come on Neo! A hatchet from a sponsor and a river? Woah.
Well, ya can’t win 'em all.
@Barney Barney was thinking about home when he should have been looking for a crossbow.
@Moose PICKLE RACHEL!!
Poor Pinky.
@PlacidPenguin
/giphy Sad Pinky.
@PlacidPenguin
What are we going to do tonight Brain?
Same thing we, err, I do every night Pinky. Try to take over the world!
What do you mean ‘I’ Brain?
Don’t worry about it Pinky, just close your eyes and sleep now little buddy…
Hey fuck you Mr McFeely.
@Ignorant Tell us how you really McFeel
@lichme
(•_•)
( •_•)>⌐■-■
(⌐■_■)
@Ignorant I think McFeely should have stolen the supplies. Why would he destroy them. I may lose my bet if he doesn’t get his head in the game.
Yeah! My boy One Punch Man gonna be ready after clean water!
PICKLE RIIIIIICK!!!
@therealjrn pickle Rick owes Kool Aid man now…
@therealjrn Told you. That infection is going to be the end of him.
Go Meredith! Eat that fruit!
/image Meredith gray eating
Night 2
All that singing and humming, no wonder Taz didn’t hear her sneaking up on him…
Also RIP again to Randy Savage.
Day 3
Dogs can’t throw stuff, sorry guys this simulation really got unbelievable all of a sudden…
And the recap of the recent events:
District 12 is really racking up some points! Are kills counted as points? It’s last one standing so I guess not. Oh well!
@Moose nooooooooooooo, not Neo!!! It was bad enough watching the end of Revolutions.
/giphy sobbing
@Moose @RiotDemon It wasn’t bad enough watching the first 90% of Revolutions?
@Moose Not Ron Burgundy! Noooooo! Wait, how can a dog throw a knife? I demand a recount.
Get it together Mcfeely. I got alot riding on you.
Nice of the sponsor to give Powdered Toast Man the clean water but I fear that may make him soggy.
@Ignorant I guess I’m rooting for him now that Neo is gone.
Maybe I should wear my shirt later.
/image harebrained powdered toast crunch
Goodnight Neo. Them fancy pills can’t help you now.
@therealjrn I feel like I’ll have watched the whole episode(s?) in gif form by the time this game is over
I’m not sure anything will ever compare to, “One Punch Man sets an explosive off, killing Jake from State Farm.”
@ThomasF Too soon man, too soon
Regroup, Tom Servo.
My boy Alf, Bart Simpson despite the early injury is surviving. Hasn’t been too aggressive, just fishing and prepping for his big move.
/giphy One Punch Man Fight
Aw shoot, I forgot to announce my allegiance, which is to The Noid, for some reason. Maybe because I associate him with Adam West because of Family Guy. Anyway, he’s still in, so it’s not too late. Is it too late? As of yesterday I was considering switching to Ron Burgundy, which is definitely too late. Wait, can we root for vengeful ghosts returning from the depths of hell? I have never read the books or seen the movies.
This is super rad. I will celebrate by colouring my hair glo-in-the-dark green and throwing out enough fresh fruit to feed a village of peasants.
/giphy may the odds be in your favor
Go Meredith! Keep on being the bad ass you are!
Balto is my hero
@llangley A knife-throwing dog is pretty cool. Good doggy.
Is there no killing on a Sunday?
@Ignorant hey dummy today is Saturday.
Sorry for no update last night, but tonight we have a special event!
Night 3
Ghost stories can lighten the mood when the mood is “I have to murder my fellow teens”
Day 4
Arena Event!
Just like most of the characters in this battle, we’re bringing Acid Rain back from the 90s!
WTF! Did the Kool-Aid Man fill up with acid rain? Is that what killed him? Does this happen in the books???
Summary
I think we’re nearing the end! Who will be the last one standing?
@Ignorant dammit.
@therealjrn sorry for your loss.
@Ignorant Thank you.
Let’s go Toast!!
Aw, RIP sweet diarrhea-covered Noid.
I guess I’m rooting for Spuds MacKenzie now. But I’m pretending he’s Slurms McKenzie from Futurama.
@mossygreen I guess I’m back on team Peanut.
Good thing I didn’t waste all my Panem money on Pickle Rick.
To the Peanutmobile!
@mossygreen I’m going for Spuds too. I love that dude. I hope he electrocutes Meredith.
Wearing my Powdered Toast Man shirt totally helped.
Balto
FUCK YOU ALF BART SIMPSON!!
Mcfeely, were you not paying attention? You pulled that trick on the first day.
I guess I will switch to Balto. The knife throwing dog seems to be making good decisions.
@speediedelivery spudz shot an arrow. Might have to watch out.
Awww, my dude One Punch Man is out
@tnhillbillygal Condolences
Why is that crying bitch Meredith Grey still alive?
@Fuzzalini because she’s Meredith Grey…
And we’re back! Going to be running through the rest of the game at a quicker pace because I’m turning 30 this week and don’t have time for childish games like these anymore.
Can love bloom, even on the battlefield?
Wow
isn’twasn’t she like a doctor or something?Powdered Toast Man’s affection for Spuds has turned sour in an instant
It’s all down to a dog, a dog, a boy with a dog head, and a man with a toast head.
@Moose Alf wasn’t a dog. He would have been an ugly dog.
/giphy alf
@tnhillbillygal if Alf wasn’t a dog then why’d he hate cats huh? Checkmate
@Moose @tnhillbillygal Alf LOVED cats. The primary cat-related conflict on that show his desire to eat the family cat.
@Moose Cats were a delicacy on Melmac. He didn’t hate them, he just wanted to eat them!
DAMMIT TO HECK PEANUT MAN!!!
At least my man Ton Loc took someone out before he died.
@katylava I saw him in concert last year. Woo!
@sammydog01 showoff.
I think I am bad luck. Balto why would you skip food for dry clothes? Dry is nice but Food!
@speediedelivery Maybe he’s planning on eating Meredith’s corpse? I would.
I guess I’m rooting for Alf-Bart now.
RIP Meredith. I guess your award winning surgical skills couldn’t help you out there?? Not cool, Mer. Kudos on all the kills though.
Happy Birthday @Moose!
@sammydog01 @Moose Yes. Happy Birthday! I feel like you’ll really hit your stride in your thirties.
@medz @Moose @sammydog01 Oh yeah buddy. Don’t worry about what you thought 30 was going to be. It will tell you soon enough.
@sammydog01 Thanks!
@medz thanks?
@therealjrn well now I’m even more worried
@Moose Happy Birthday
I will not curse you with my singing again.
OK, these damn exchange rates…all the Panem money I have left is on Balto, the magic knife-throwing dog.
@therealjrn took ya long enuff!!
@Ignorant PTM is waiting to make the one kill that matters.
Alf, Bart Simpson hanging in there. He also has the favor of a sponsor. That clearly prompted that jerk Powdered Toast Man to be jealous and lash out at the memoirs.
Man, that acid rain really took a toll. I only saw the movies, but I thought it was pretty dumb that the people running the games could conjure up deadly creatures or start forest fires. I can understand making the play space smaller as there are fewer and fewer contestants, but they shouldn’t be able to just kill contestants with a push of a button. Seems like the districts would revolt all the sooner given the unfair conditions.
@medz I was going to say that if the acid rain covered the whole field then that seems like it would be somewhat fair, but the survivors only survive because they happened to find shelter in time, making it arbitrary. It’s basically saying “you had a great tactic, hiding in the top of the tree. Unfortunately it was bad though because you should’ve been in a cave all of a sudden.”
@Moose right. Like hey, you’re doing a good job hiding and finding food to survive, but we’re going to push a button to create a lava flow that will give away your position and force you to head towards the others or else you die. In a sense, it’s testing your ability to adapt, but very arbitrary. Oops there was a flash flood that filled your cave and you drowned. Should have been up in that tree after all. Maybe if the environmental elements are chosen randomly, it would be “fair”. That’s not how it was done in the movie, though.
I’m rooting for one of the dogs now.
@katylava Which?
@therealjrn either
@katylava
pick and stick
Just joshing ya
@katylava me too. Go Balto! District 12 is still in the running!
This is it, the final showdown!
Dang Spuds will cuddle with anybody. He should be careful…
“I’ll be the big spoon” Alf Bart whispered, as he pulled the blow gun from his pocket…
Also dumb Balto was getting a little too cocky with throwing knives and forgot that he still doesn’t have thumbs.
But that anticlimactic (literally lol) event has given us a victor!
I’m not sure why District 6 (Alf Bart and Jake From State Farm) gets first place; Sure, Alf Bart was the only survivor, but Jake died on Day 1 and District 12 (Meredith Grey and Balto) got a third of all the kills! District 12 got robbed. They should protest or something.
Anyway here’s a recap of the events:
If you would like to replay this yourself, you can use this link: http://brantsteele.net/hungergames/r.php?c=Wd9TgJE0
Hope everyone enjoyed the inaugural Mediocre Hunger Games! Closing ceremonies have been canceled due to weather, please visit the gift shop on your way out.
@Moose District placement appears to be in order of which district got completely wiped out. I thought there was some kind of complex formula that went into it, but it appears not. Woohoo, first place in teamwork!
@Moose thank you for that, it was super fun! Is this something I can do with a group of friends or something? Use a template and just enter my own people, is that possible?
@Moose Thanks sheriff, that was fun!
@Moose The gift shop is the best part!
@moonhat Yep! If you go to the website, click “Simulate” and “Personal” at the top and you can fill it all in. Be aware, it is really glitchy and finicky. Save often, because leaving it open in your browser doesn’t mean anything (the save URL will stay the same the whole time though). When you load a save, it will start you back at the beginning, but the events will all be the same until you catch up (unless you try to change the cast or something, which is why I couldn’t change Ron Burgandy and Pickle Rick to Male after the game started).
@Moose That was so much fun!
/giphy bravo
@moonhat I did this with work folks last Friday
@moonhat i wanted to say more, but i typed that while waiting for the dentist and i got called in the middle of it.
anyway, yeah, it worked out really well. i assigned random nicknames to everyone (some elected to change theirs). i think if i hadn’t done that people would not have been as interested. my random nickname was “Ace”. the guy that survived was “Skipper”. strangely, “Butcher” and “Killer” didn’t last very long. i used this generator
then i ran through the whole simulation myself to make sure it would turn out fun – the first time 9 people died the first day, so i went back and changed something so i’d get a new simulation. i took all the screenshots at this time and numbered them.
then i posted the next screen in slack every ~15 minutes throughout the day, to keep the suspense alive.
Just gonna take this time to say I did not run through the whole simulation myself in order to pick a better one, and I can prove it because if I had then I would’ve picked one that didn’t end with a contestant falling out of a tree unceremoniously (although spending the night cuddling only to blowdart Spuds in the morning was pretty incredible)
BULLSHIT!!!
Noooooo!
I knew I was bad luck. Balto forgets about trees? Maybe I should have actually bet on someone opposite of who I was cheering to win.
@speediedelivery i was thinking the same thing. like, it’s my fault for rooting for the dogs.
@katylava Definitely your fault
I should have known when you chose the dogs. It was clear from your post who the winner would be!
Actual footage from the grisly scene (warning, may not be suitable for children):
@Moose He looks like falling to his death is the least of his problems.
fuck you alf bart simpson!
this is your fault @katylava!
@carl669 blame accepted
I challenge Alf Bart Simpson’s status as a popular culture figure.
Yay! My bandwagon choice (after all my picks died) won!
@medz Wow, you must be psych. (after the earlier picks die)
Ya, such BS. I will consider Dr. Meredith Grey the victor in my mind, she’s too badass.
@moonhat
/giphy pfft
@moonhat You must feel strongly about this… since you decided to “Post It” here
@lichme I don’t get it
@moonhat Oh come on… Meredith Grey… Post it note…
@lichme oh my god. I can’t believe I didn’t catch that!!
ah shit I missed a perfectly good “Is that a blowgun in your pocket or are you just happy to huddle for warmth with me” joke
I knew it!!! Alf, Bart Simpson is the winner.
@Targaryen I don’t think that Alf Bart Simson is a real thing like the other characters.
@Targaryen So, were Alf and Bart Simpson originally intended to be two separate suggestions, or is “Alf, Bart Simpson” something dear to your own heart?
WE CALL BULLSHIT